(What would the Preps for Wedding be like?)

Ding Dong Wedding Day, 24 hours awaiting impending nuptials, actually a little pissed at best, have taken water and aspirin to head off major hangover but can't quite shake male stripper Shazza hired from my memory. Can't say the same for Jude and Shazza, they are a bit unsteady on their feet and completely hung over, besides Shazza has unbelievable smile on her face, she must have shagged the dancer. Where is my dress? Hair make-up is done but dress has not arrived and ceremony is but one hour to go...Disaster...Disaster..

Then "Hello Darling"...It is Mum with dress!

Grooms Room

Mark for his systematic and orderly manner is pacing frantically. He stops, breathes and begins to think about the conversation he had the other day with Bridget, "The important thing about today is to think about it as a systematic schedule of events from the moment you awake, planning every detail to every minute as you prepare. Unfortunately he was not prepared for Giles, Nigel, and Jeremy's send off, not to mention the lap dancer that he could have done without, and his head was pounding. He didn't do anything with said dancer, he did not think, but Giles was beaming ear to ear this morning with a smug attitude and smudged color of fire flame red lipstick. God, I hope Bridget does not ask tonight about Bachelor's Party as I don't know how I would ever explain to her about half naked woman swishing her bum around in lap. Ok, Darcy put it all together old man, lining up VanCleef and Arpel cuff links (funny thing is when placed them on table before me it was like brick against pavement). Come on get it together. Inventory or trousers, have fine white shirt on, impeccable cravat nice presentation, and jacket, where is jacket?

Grab cell phone that is louder than normal, "Jeremy, Jeremy where is my the jacket?" I inquired.

What do I hear, "Well old man I was a bit worse for wear this morning, and well I got sick on it."

"Wot" I yelled, "this is unbelievable."

Jeremy responded, "but I'm at the cleaners calling in a favor and he is making it spit spot, I know we have but one hour, but I will be there in 30 minutes. " "No worries mate I do have the ring."

Pacing now like caged cat, "oh great will be late down the aisle, Bridget will get nervous, start concocting scenarios of how I left her at the altar and receiving lecture of I told you so," sit with face down in hands, please don't let this be a disaster as I'm the one who usually has it all together.

"Son, you look nervous," toddles in Father looking a little worse for wear as he takes a flask, perhaps a little liquid refreshment?"

"Father, no not now!"

"Nonsense lad it calms the nerves, go on." Take a sip, but really it could curl paint off the walls and shake my head realizing it is not helping with the state I find myself in already. And know realize that although in the state, still have no formal tales and half dressed and if I show up drunk will then form another picture to Bridget that in order to marry her I needed to be pissed. Begged off, although Mr. Jones joined the party with Father and I kept moving away from them and their damned flask. Tick Tock Tick Tock..Every movement of the big hand in the grooms room hand a resounding and deafening noise as if bomb was about to blow. I was so nervous now I had to remove shirt as sweat was dripping off me, it is only February but I was about to be wringing wet.Back in Bride's Room...

"Darling here is the dress, oh does it not look lovely." "Mark Darcy rich successful barrister, certainly a fine catch wouldn't you agree Una, winking at each other as if they swallowed a canary."

"Mum, really am quite able to dress self, when heard rather large rip of traine."

"No.. Not only traine and now back of dress revealing lace thong and bare bottom.."

"Really Bridget just a little risqué as if you are one of those playboy bunnies or some sacrificial virgin being offered up to the altar," as she shook her head, "but we know that is not true," with disapproving glances. I just looked up as could not believe the torture of this day, systematic plan my foot.

Jude and Shazza had arrived to witness the disaster with Magda with 30 minutes to go, they scooted Mum and Una out and not a moment too late, relieved I thought.

"Do you know how to sew?"

They looked at each other, "No but what is there to know we will fix you up," now am really nervous and crying a bit..They soothed me and got together trying to fix this disaster.

Groom's Room...

Mark standing in front of fan trying not to appear nervous till Elaine Darcy walked in, Mark's Mother a total picture of decorum and a woman who naturally had it all together. She convinced the men to move on, and 25 minutes beginning of ceremony Jeremy popped in with morning coat.

"Well son let us get you together."

"I will be fine, how is Bridget?"

"I don't know, Mother I would feel much better if you checked on Bridget and sorted her out," at the hands of the dating war command..as his eyes rolled

"Disaster, got the message son," she said kissing him on the cheek.

"Yes disaster," nodding their heads simultaneously and Jeremy picking up as best man to get his friend suited.

"Oh one other thing Mother that velvet box over there, can you deliver to Bridget...?"

15 Minutes to go..Bride's Room

Knock and open to find Bridget being tended to and trying to escape the various pokes of the needle and in near tears.

"Mrs. Darcy." Through her tears..

"Darling, Mother will be fine," as she wiped away the tears. "I have something for you."

My hands shook as I took the fine velvet box in my hand and opened the card above it..

Dearest loveliest Bridget,

Enclosed is a token and a symbol of hope, an interconnecting symbol of our lasting love. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives together, and I promise to love you for an eternity, wobbly bits and all.

Love Mark

She opened to reveal a diamond Harry Winston Wreath and necklace and earring set, upon which Jude and Shazza fainted dead on, and Magda burst into tears.

"Magda, I trust you will get them ready while I finish with Bridget." "Hurry on girl."

Elaine Darcy took over and seemed to fix all that was wrong, I could not help but tear a bit, for I never had possessed something so lovely and did not know how to react to this fairytale day.

"Darling it is just a prelude to more to come, you will be a Darcy soon," I looked and felt like Cinderella but wondered what my station in life would expect of me. I was nervous.

Grooms Room

Mark looked across the court as the configuration of the church building would allow and could see Bridget. He knew he shouldn't but could not resist the look. He saw her, although far away he witnessed the joy he so wanted to see when she opened her gift. She is beautiful and a most certainly a princess who has taken occupancy in this heart of mine. He grinned ever so slightly as he witnessed her twirl before a large looking glass. It was sort of reminiscent of a memory he had of her when they were both children as she attempted to put on a dance for all at his eight year old birthday party. Who would have thought she would end up being his wife. He was relieved as he knew his Mother was in charge of the final details. She seemed to be rehearsing her lines. I hope to be the husband you expect me to be...

Bride's Room...She glanced to see she could see him readying himself. Oh, I wonder if he could see me? Probably not, oh how handsome he looked as Jeremy assisted him with his jacket. Tall, dark, and handsome, must keep composure or could actually jump building in single bound and shag senseless. No worries Bridget there will be plenty of time for that after the ceremony. What is that? It looks as if he is rehearsing his vows, how adorable. Suddenly flash back to boy in suit, always expected to be a gentleman at best, but somewhat uncomfortable in those trappings. I found myself smiling, as I remember him reaching over for a kiss when nobody was looking and then he took another. I believe now that sometimes our soul mates are revealed to us when we are younger, but still can't quite figure out why it takes so long sometimes to rediscover them. Oh, bother Elaine, Mum, Una, and Urban Family are motioning for me to leave. We make our way down to chapel with Father who has a little rose on his cheek, must have been sipping on a flask, as Admiral Darcy looks slightly inebriated as well, will those two ever change, I hope not.

Doors fling open to chapel and I look to front to find him there, my Mr. Darcy, wonder if I can get him to wet down his white shirt later tonight. Smile and procession begins all the while I hope traine will hold as do not want to give congregation a peep show.