Disclaimer- If I owned any of these characters, they would all be babbling sycophants. Thank god for Tolkien.
Key
:elvish:
magic
Thoughts
"Normal"
Chapter 2
Sticks and Stones...
After much babbling on her part, and much grunting and heaving on the part of the two persons summoned, Autumn was finally taken to a lovely room for her to be kept. Another person, female this time, helped the mumbling girl into a big, fat, cushy bed and tucked her in tightly.
Finally left to herself, Autumn drifted off to dream thing. It was horrible. Her hair grew to her knees and took on a silk-like texture, her boobs exploded into size; they looked like Pamela Andersons boobs. Her ears grew pointy... she had turned into a Mary Sue! Oh the horror! Perfection made flesh!
"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" Autumn thrashed into wakefulness, sweating profusely. Panicking, she felt her breasts, hair and ears. She sighed in relief. Her boobs were still A-cup, her hair was still just to her back, and her ears were still round.
She smiled happily and bounced out of bed, surprisingly cheerful for one who had gone to sleep in her own world, then had woken up in the middle of an apparently important gathering in nothing but her big tee and undies then had proceeded to... don't remind me. Oh, hem, sorry.
She got out of bed and looked for a way out. In a few moments, she had slammed straight into a wall due to her lack of sufficient eyesight (A/N koffkoff). She grumbled a bit, and then felt along the wall looking for... something. Ah! Tall, wide, double doors, wardrobe! She flung open the doors and was bouncing for joy when her questing fingers discovered… clothing! She hurriedly changed into some sort of dress thing and began feeling around the walls once more. There. A door, she opened it then stumbled back hissing. Light! She already had plenty bad sight, the blinding light of the untampered with outdoors was just too much. Thankfully, a shadow fell over her and she sighed in relief.
Autumn looked up to see the same tall grey smear which had kindly pointed out that Toto was no longer in Kansas, er, New York (go grey smear!). Accompanying this smear was... yet another tall smear! This one was greenish, with a long brown cap that she hazarded to be hair.
"You should be in bed." said Grey Smear, "You've had quite a shock it seems."
"Well then. Could you help me get to it, be my depth perception?" He leaned down (yes it did turn out to be a guy) and proceeded to help her up. When he grew closer, and came into focus, it turned out to be an old man with a long grey beard and friendly eyes. They turned to look at a vague big blue blob that she was pretty certain was her bed. They sidled over to it, it was indeed the bed!
She hauled herself up onto her bed, getting a few false starts, a few flops, and a dash of altogether falling off, before settling herself quite nicely with the covers pulled up to her lap. She primly folded her hands then said, "So, how can I help you?"
A smile flickered over the blurred face of the old man. "My name is Gandalf the Grey,"
Figures...
"And this is Lord Elrond of Rivendell."
Again, figures.
"He has some questions that he would like to ask you." Finished Gandalf with a warning glance to the elf that approached the wide bed (no insinuations there, promise!). He had a stern face with thick brows that winged up to his temples. They made him look kinda creepish. Mwahahahahahahahahha!
Elrond glared down at her, and Autumn, thinking that he might have read her mind-like-thing, gave him a bright and vacuous smile.
He cleared his throat, opened his rather pinched mouth and asked, "Who are you, and how did you get here?"
The girl coughed a bit, then looked up and smirked. "My name is Autumn, and as to how I got here, do you think I would have put on the show I did a bit ago if I knew?" The wizard and elf glanced at each other.
"Let me put it this way," The elf lord said, his voice growing cold. "If you do not tell us, you shall have to be put under a high truth spell." something told her that the truth spell was not a lovely daisy picking trip by the way that Gandalf looked askance at the lord.
Immediately wiping the smirk off of her face, Autumn quickly began telling them all she knew.
"I swear, I have no idea how I got here. All I know is that I went to sleep at my friend Jessie's place, and then I woke up here!" Elrond didn't look convinced, be convinced, darn it! "If I actually wanted to be here, would I have left my glasses, my only way of seeing things, back home? And don't you think that I would have actually gotten dressed first?"
"You could have done these things merely to throw suspicion off yourself. And how do we know that you indeed, cannot see?"
The girl glared at his fuzzy form, alarm firing all over in her head. "I ran into the wall earlier, does that satisfy you?"
"And yet you look at us as if you can see." The stupid elf said smugly. "Can you explain that?"
"Yes, actually, I can. I am not blind, merely extremely short sighted. I can see things quite clearly if they get close enough. And I can see the walls and things, but my sight being as it is, it means that I cannot tell how far away it is until it is too late. By then my nose is quite flat." Autumn was ridiculously pleased with herself for presenting such an articulate argument, always before she had been the one who stuttered through English class. In fact, she was never much of an academic star. Mostly she stuck to being average (thank god).
"We believe you, Lady Autumn." Gandalf spoke up, and Autumn jumped. She had completely forgotten that the wizard was there. "There is no taint of the Dark Lord upon you. However, since we still do not know how you got here, you shall have to accompany me to Lothlorien to pay our respects to the Lady of Light."
Confusion scribbled itself all over the interior of Autumn's mind. Who in the hell is that? Memory kicked her in the shins. Oh, yeah, that slow woman who acts like she's in a haze half the time. Autumn sighed and agreed. That would mean going with the guys who were in the movie. She got the best look she could get of the wizard, deciding that he didn't look all that different from the guy in the movie. What am I thinking? What does it matter, I won't be able to see these people anyway, and it's unlikely that they'll ever get close enough for me to see them. What do I care how they look? Yay! That meant no Mary Sueness!
Autumn sat on a comfortable cushion facing a tall blond man. "My name is Glorfindel. I will be teaching you to care for yourself in dangerous situations. Now, we will begin with… will you please pay attention!"
Autumn snapped back to the real world. "Sorry! What was that?" True to her nature, Autumn's attention hadbegun wondering after he told her his name. This often happened at school, and it looked like there was no difference on another world. The elf sighed.
By the Valar, is this what I am going to have to teach in four days? He shook his head and muttered something uncomplementoryin elvish. The foreigner's attention had already strayed to la la land. "Milady, please, I only have four days to teach you the skills you need."
"Uhuh," She replied in a lazy dazed tone.
"Autumn!" he shouted.
"Gah! What, what?"
Glorfindel began speaking fast, hoping that he'd be able to get out at least half of the lesson before her mind took a siesta… where'd that come from? "You will be using a stick cut to your waist. It has been cored with elvish steel, which will give it some weight and extra oomph (behold the non-elfishness). In order to wield it properly, you will need to practice using it to feel your way around, and learn to listen!" He finished this with a deep breath.
Okay, she was looking at him; he would try to fit in a bit more. He brought the stick from behind his back and handed it to her. She brought it close to her face and studied it minutely, smiling in pleasure. And rightly so, it was a beautiful piece. An ash wood short staff that was, as was said before, cored with elvish steel that balanced beautifully. The wood had glyphs and symbols for protection and strength carved deeply into it.
"So I just swing this around and whack people in the head? Neatio!" Autumn chirped cheerfully. Glorfindel drooped. Obviously most of the lesson had passed way over her head.
"No, you do not just, 'whack people over the head', you need to listen for them, learn to derive whether it is friend or foe. Be more selective who you decide to 'whack'." He added, hoping that simplifying the words might get it into the crevices of her mind.
"Okays."
He sighed. This was going to be a very long four days.
Authors Note- Yay! I got 1 review! I shall now do my funky chicken victory dance! Weeeeeee! Nehoo, needs must be met, I shall now thank Jaffee Leeds, cuz she is the awesomest and her review bears answering.
Hem, to Jaffee Leeds: Thank you so much for the suggestion and the story recommendation, I loved it! And I shall try to keep in mind the swearing thing. Now as to your question on Autumn's orientation. No. She is very straight, and the only reason I added in her mother's homophobia was because she is very much homophobic. So that all works out, bad mommy!
Authors note again- I must warn those who are the coolest and have read my story so far. THIS WILL DEVIATE FROM THE ORIGINAL STORY! Boromir may still die but this story focuses on the blind chick. The other guys are simply escorts. Really hot escorts but escorts non-the less. And it is highly unlikely that this will turn into a romance, since Autumn can't see them anyway, so how can she fall in love if she cannot see the person she's trying to fall in love with? If this pis- I mean, makes you sorrowful (nearly slipped Jaffee!), let me know. I will immediately re-figure this out. Reviews are badly needed, because they are my preciousssssssssss…. Heehee.