All characters depicted here belong to JK Rowling. I own nothing but the pleasure of writing this particular story.

The Cruciatus

"Well it just has to work then, that's all there is to it," Hermione said determinedly. There was a fire in her eyes that we hadn't seen in ages. "That's all there is to it," she said again.

"Yes," Sirius agreed, handing Remus back his wand. He turned to me. "You've learned the Disarming Spell?"

I nodded. "Harry and Hermione taught it to me ages ago."

"Sirius."

Sirius raised his eyebrows at Hermione. She bit her lip and looked down at the floor.

"Someone will have to teach her Avada Kedavra." Hermione looked up, her eyes blazing again. "Someone will have to teach us all."

Sirius nodded silently, his eyes sad. Remus sighed.

"I had hoped it would never come to this," he muttered. "I had hoped you would never know how it feels to cast Avada Kedavra. Any of you."

"Harry knows it," I said softly. "Ron told me that he'd killed somebody."

Sirius nodded. "He did."

"But in self defence."

"Well, yes," Sirius agreed hesitantly. "Partly it was self defence."

"Partly?"

"Yes. Part self defence, part revenge."

"What?"

"She killed me."

I nodded, understanding a little more. She must have been the reason Sirius had gone beyond the veil.

"I wonder - " Ron began.

"Okay, all of you out. Professor Lupin needs to rest."

We looked up as Madam Pomfrey came around the curtain. In her hand was a steaming goblet. Remus groaned at the sight of it.

"That's enough from you, Remus Lupin," Madam Pomfrey said sternly, setting the goblet down beside him. Remus made a face at the rest of us as we started to stand. I waved good bye to him as we exited.

"You too, Sirius," Madam Pomfrey said. Sirius hadn't moved as we'd left. I saw him glower at her, but stand and follow us out the door.

"We'll be back after dinner, Moony," he said over his shoulder. Remus nodded at him as he picked up the goblet.

"Is it hard to learn to Heal?" I asked suddenly after we'd walked for a while. Everyone turned to look at me, causing me to flush slightly. "Well, is it?"

"Yes," Sirius answered. "The basic Healing Charms, for cuts and scratches, are relatively easy to learn and are taught in the sixth year. Madam Pomfrey had to study for years to learn what she knows, and she's not a Healer. It's not unlike your Muggle doctors. It is years of learning. Healing involves a lot of Potions work."

"Okay."

We walked for a bit longer in silence. I thought about what Sirius had told me.

"For me to learn how to Heal Remus, what would I need to know?"

Sirius stopped walking so he could turn and look at me. He studied me for a moment before answering.

"Remus is pretty easy," he said slowly, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully. "Usually his injuries are scratches and bruises. Sometimes his injuries are more severe, like today. I know how to heal those."

He gave my shoulder a squeeze and lowered his voice.

"You're not alone here, Jules," he said softly. "We, that is James and I, learned early on how to heal his more severe injuries. I can teach you the potions and the spells you need to know, if you like."
I nodded quickly. "Yes, I want to learn them. I hate to see him like that; I hate seeing him when he doesn't fit completely in his skin and when his eyes are still yellow."

"We all do, Jules," Hermione said softly.

"I wish there were a cure," I continued.

"They've been searching for one for years."

"Hundreds of years," Ginny corrected.

"Did Madam Pomfrey kick you out?"

We all turned to find Harry behind us. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes had a slight gleam to them.

"Yeah," I answered. "Where did you go?"

"Can't say. Come with me."

I glanced at Sirius before following Harry. He led us down to the Entrance Hall and straight outside. It had started to rain while we'd been in with Remus, but Harry didn't seem to notice it. He led us toward the gates.

"Where are we going, Harry?" Ginny cried over to sound of the pouring rain.

"You'll see!"

He turned toward the hut at the edge of the forest. I found myself lagging behind, looking toward the lake at the beech tree I'd fallen asleep against. Looking for a sign of James Potter. Sirius must have noticed this, for he took my shoulders in his hands and led me toward the hut.

Harry opened the door and we followed him inside. Fang, the dog I had met the night I'd seen the unicorn, went crazy at the sight of us. Harry lit the lamps and pointed his wand at the cold fireplace. Within moments, a merry fire crackled there.

"That's a handy Charm," I murmured as Ginny slowly took a teapot out of the cupboard. She turned to us and smiled sadly.

"Everything's covered in dust."

I glanced at everyone else and found that they were nodding in agreement. Hermione looked around the small room, her eyes flat.

"At least we got one person back. We were able to save one," Ron said dully.

"I'm sorry to bring you here, but it's quiet here and away from others so we can talk in private. We can not dwell on Hagrid right now," Harry said quietly.

"What about Extendable Ears?" Ginny asked.

"We'll seal the doors and place Imperturbable Charms on them."

He opened the door and whistled for Fang. The dog came bounding back inside. Of course, he did like every other dog, and shook as soon as he was out of the rain. I laughed as water splashed everywhere.

"Okay," Harry said, sealing the door and making sure the Imperturbable Charm was in place. He indicated for us to sit around the table as he got out cups for the tea Ginny had made.

"So you had an epiphany," I said bluntly, "and you took off. Where did you go?"

Sirius smiled to himself as he blew gently on his tea. Harry raised his eyebrows at me.

"I went to see Madam Pince."

"Not Dumbledore?" Hermione asked, surprised.

"No. I asked Madam Pince to pull out the books I needed."

He pulled two from under his robes. One was called A History of Wands and the other was entitled Wands: Predictable or Unpredictable?.

"What is this one?" I asked, picking up the second book. Hermione leaned over as I flipped it open. There were illustrations of what happened when wands backfired. We both gaped at a picture of a wizard whose wand had backfired and had turned his hands into two large tortoises, but their shells were heavily jewelled, rather than regular tortoise shell.

"Fire crabs," Hermione breathed.

"Are they dangerous?" I asked, staring at the tortoises.

"They're listed as a level three by the Ministry of Magic."

"What does that mean?" I pressed.

"They can be dangerous, but a competent wizard should be able to deal with them."

"I see."

"They shoot flames from their rear end when they're attacked," Ginny added with a grin. "Hagrid bred them with Manticores in our fourth year," Ron said, also smiling. "Blast-Ended Skrewts, he called them."

"Sounds fun," I said.

Harry chuckled, taking a sip from his tea. He shook his head and leaned forward.

"Anyway," he said, taking the first book and flipping it open. The picture inside was of a large city, obviously at war. There were parts of the city that were completely destroyed, and other parts were aflame. We all stared at it. "This is what happened the last time two wands were connected."

"Oh my," I whispered.

"But they never proved this was caused by the wands connecting," Harry said quickly, unknowingly repeating what Ginny had said earlier.

"Still," Sirius said softly, "it's a little scary. Are you sure you want to try this?"

"What choice is there?"

Sirius gritted his teeth, but said nothing.

"We have to try, Sirius."

"But this could kill you."

Harry smiled. "I know. But if he dies too, then it's worth it."

I reached forward and gave Harry's hand a squeeze. He returned the pressure.

"Couldn't we try to think of something else?" Hermione asked, almost desperately.

"Of course we will," Ron snapped. "This is last resort."

My eyes met Harry's. We both knew that it wasn't a last resort. We both knew that, in order to win, we had to do what Harry had said. We had to connect the wands.

"We have to practice the Curses again," I said to Harry later, after we'd gone up to the Great Hall for dinner. Harry's jaw clenched but he nodded reluctantly.

"You get Sirius to supervise," Hermione muttered angrily. I glanced at her. I hadn't even been aware she'd heard me.

"No," Harry disagreed. "Just Jules and I. We'll go to the Room of Requirement so we won't be disturbed."

"What's that?" I asked.

Harry quickly explained it to me. I agreed that it would work for what we needed.

"No!" Hermione insisted. "I think Sirius should be there."

Harry was about to argue with her when Seamus and Dean sat down next to us and started talking about Quidditch and homework. Harry shot a look in Hermione's direction, which she returned with equal ferocity.

"Get him to supervise!" she hissed as we left the Great Hall.

"No, Hermione!" Harry growled. They started up the staircase toward Gryffindor Tower.

"Where are you going?" Ron asked. Both turned, still arguing.

"What d'you mean?" Harry snapped. "We're going to the common room."

"We told Remus we'd come back and visit, remember?" Ginny answered. Both had apparently forgotten and moved back down the stairs, grinning sheepishly.

"We were - "

"Too busy arguing," Sirius supplied, coming out of the Great Hall and joining us. "I could tell that even from the head table."

We moved in the direction of the hospital wing, Harry and Hermione sending dirty looks at each other as we walked. Finally, Sirius frowned at both of them.

"What is going on?" he demanded. "What are you arguing about so ferociously?"

Hermione opened her mouth but then closed it with a snap. She shook her head.

"Harry's being a prat is all, Sirius," she answered stiffly. "He doesn't agree with me that he just might be wrong about something!"

"I didn't say I wasn't wrong, Hermione!" Harry exploded. "It is none of your business, so butt out!"

"Whoa!" Sirius roared, grabbing the two of them and pulling them into an empty classroom. The rest of us followed.

"What is going on?" Ginny demanded. I sighed.

"Harry and I are going to practice the Cruciatus again," I answered, annoyed. "Hermione thinks we should have supervision, Harry disagrees."

Harry turned to me, his eyes nearly shooting daggers. I rolled my eyes.

"They're not stupid, Harry. I'm sure they would have figured it out."

I looked up at Sirius. His jaw was clenched, but he said nothing.

"Why don't you want supervision?" Ron asked. "I agree with Hermione that you should have Sirius there."

Harry shrugged. "Why don't you all come along then?" he snapped angrily. "If she doesn't stop it, you'll get to see her writhing on the floor in pain, screaming her head off. Sure, come along, all of you. It'll be a great show!"

We all stared at Harry. His eyes were burning with his anger. But there was pain there as well. Nobody spoke for a moment, unsure of what to say. Harry looked away from us, embarrassed at his outburst.

"It's alright, Harry," Sirius finally said softly. "It's okay. We won't come. I understand where you're coming from."

Harry nodded shortly. Sirius asked Ron, Hermione and Ginny to give us a moment. They left.

"You don't have to do this," Sirius murmured.

"Yes we do," Harry replied. "We have to know." He looked up at Sirius, his eyes still full of pain. "Would you supervise us? Maybe, if she can't stop it, you could remove it quicker. Maybe it would be better if you sent the Curse at her, too."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "You want me to send the Curse at her?"

"Well, if she can stop mine. Only if. We'll see if she can stop yours as well."
"How is it different?" I asked.

"Sirius is more powerful than I," Harry answered. Sirius shook his head, but Harry ignored him. "He also has experience with the Curse."

"I'll supervise, Harry," Sirius agreed. "We'll see about the Curse."

Harry nodded and we left the classroom, moving once more in the direction of the hospital wing.

I pushed the door open, expecting to see Madam Pomfrey as usual. I looked around, but she was no where to be seen.

"She's probably gone down to the Great Hall for dinner," Sirius explained when I wondered aloud where she could be. He led the way toward the curtain that hid Remus. "Moony, we're back."

He pulled the curtain back and frowned. We followed and found that Remus' bed was empty.

"Where on earth has he gone?" I wondered. Sirius had pulled his wand and was searching the room, his face tense.

"Oh, he's in there," he said with a laugh, his face relaxing. He pointed in the direction of the bathroom, putting his wand away as he did so. Almost on cue, Remus opened the door and limped back to his bed. He looked slightly dishevelled.

"Hello," he said politely when he saw us. His eyes rested on me. "Wh - er, what are you doing here?"

"We said we'd come back to visit, remember?" Sirius answered, frowning once more.

"Oh, right," he replied, shaking his head. "Madam Pomfrey gave me a potion and it has me a bit mixed up."

Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"She doesn't usually give you potions that mess with your head."

Remus frowned at Sirius. "It's a new potion. She thought it might heal me faster, but all it did was make me ill. Don't worry, Padfoot, I said it was alright for her to use it on me."

Sirius relaxed slightly, but watched closely as Remus climbed back into bed. Remus smiled at each of us in turn, his eyes lingering on me.

"So what have you found out?" he asked.

"That connecting the wands might destroy the castle and all the people in it," Ginny answered. Remus frowned again, his eyes confused. "Remember, Remus? Harry left this morning?"

"Oh, right," Remus replied, nodding. "Of course."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sirius wrap his hand around his wand once more. I looked up at him and he smiled at me, not taking his hand away from his wand. He seemed edgier than usual.

"Where has Madam Pomfrey gone, Moony?" he asked.

"Dinner," was Remus' reply. He didn't even glance at Sirius as he said this. I found that slightly odd, but then I figured it had something to do with the potion he had taken. "What are your plans for this evening?"

"Testing - "

"Studying for our NEWTs," Hermione interrupted, glancing at Harry. "Do you figure you'll be out tomorrow?"

"Oh, no," Remus answered. "I'll be in here probably till the day after. Madam Pomfrey insists," he added, rolling his eyes.

"Well, we will let you get some rest then," Sirius said. "If the potion is making you ill, you should sleep. Good night, Moony."

"Good night, everyone," Remus replied, settling back against his pillow. He caught my hand as I went past. "No goodnight kiss?"

I frowned at him, glancing around the hospital wing. Seeing no one, I leaned down and kissed him.

"Good night, Remus," I whispered as I straightened, trying to discreetly wipe around my mouth. I found that very odd, since Remus didn't usually slobber all over me when he kissed me. Again, I wrote it off as a side effect from the potion.

"Good night."

I smiled at him and followed the others from the room. Ron, Hermione and Ginny said good night to us and went in the direction of Gryffindor Tower. I followed Harry and Sirius toward the Room of Requirement.

"Remus seemed…odd," Harry said slowly. Sirius and I agreed with him. Sirius stopped suddenly.

"You two go on ahead. I'll meet you there," he said, turning on his heel. He took off in the other direction.

"Where's he going?" I wondered aloud.

"My guess would be to check the Map," Harry answered, his eyes scanning the walls. "Here we are."

I glanced around but found nothing but an old tapestry on the wall.

"Where are we?"

"At the Room of Requirement."

"Is it behind the tapestry?"

"No. Follow me, don't think of anything," he said as he started to walk again. I tried to keep my mind blank as he walked to the end of the hall and turned around.

"What are we doing?" I whispered as he turned again. He said nothing, but continued to the other end of the hall and turned once more. I let out a gasp as a door appeared on the wall opposite the tapestry.

"This castle is awesome," I said with a laugh. Harry grinned as he twisted the doorknob, letting us into a large room that was filled with books and had enormous fat cushions on the floor. I moved inside, looking at the seemingly full potion bottles on the shelves.

"Healing potions," Harry said, looking closer. He looked at the books. "Books on Healing, books about Curses; books about anything we'd need, really."

"This room is amazing," I said. "How come it's hidden though? Why hide this?"

"The room changes," Harry says, explaining how the room would become whatever you needed at the time. He had me laughing as he told me that it had once been a supply closet for Fred and George Weasley when they had been hiding from Mr Filch.

"I guess the cushions are for when I fall," I said slowly, taking another look around. There was a small cot that looked like it had come straight from the hospital wing. "Should we wait for Sirius?"

Harry shrugged, pulling out his wand. "We might as well get you warmed up."

I nodded as he threw the Tickling Hex at me without warning. I deflected it easily.

"Good, still able to deflect those," he said, quickly firing another Hex at me, which I also deflected.

We did that for a few minutes before either of us realised that Sirius was standing there watching. Harry finally noticed and dropped his wand hand.

"She has good reflexes," he noted, drawing his wand. "I wonder if she could block two people."

"Was it Remus?" Harry asked. Sirius nodded.

"The Map shows that it's him, so I guess he was telling the truth, that it was merely a potion. I've still never seen him react to a potion like that, but it might be a really strong one."

Harry and I agreed as Sirius pushed his sleeves back. He didn't give any warning, just fired a Jelly Legs Jinx my way. I caught it as Harry sent a Bat Bogey Hex at me.

We continued in a while before Harry suddenly sent the Imperious Curse at me, as Sirius fired another spell. I deflected Sirius' curse just in time to block the Imperious Curse. I carefully sent it away from me.

"Very good!" Sirius enthused, his eyes glowing. He walked to one of the tables and brought over three butterbeers from a tray that I could have sworn hadn't been there a moment before. I stared at it, then at him.

"How'd you - ?"

"This room gives you whatever you need," he replied, opening my bottle for me. "I needed a butterbeer."

I laughed, taking it from him and taking a drink. I sat down on one of the cushions as he handed a butterbeer to Harry. I lifted my sweaty hair off the back of my neck and pressed the bottle to my throat. The cold bottle felt wonderful. It was hard work, deflecting those curses.

"Are you sure you want us to use the Cruciatus Curse on you?" Sirius asked, looking down at me.

"No, of course I don't want you to," I answered. "But if we don't practice, I'll never be able to stop it."

Sirius frowned, setting his butterbeer down.

"I might not be able to lift it any faster than Harry was able to."

I shook my head. "It's alright. I'm prepared for the pain this time."

Harry shook his head as well. "You're never prepared for the pain."

I took another drink from my butterbeer, savouring the flavour. I didn't answer. I looked up when Harry stood.

"I guess we might as well get it over with," he said reluctantly. Sirius set down his bottle as well, helping me to my feet.

"Who is sending it at me?"

"I am," Harry replied. "If you stop it, Sirius will send his at you."

I nodded, bracing myself. Harry raised his wand, his face pale once more. Sirius noticed as well and took a step toward Harry as Harry said the words.

"Crucio!"

I lifted my hands, both of them, flat out in front of me, in the hopes that it would help just stop the Curse. It slowed even more than it had before, but didn't stop. Once again, the Curse struck me head on. Once again, I found myself on the floor, screaming and writhing in unbearable pain.

"Finite!"

I heard Sirius say the words, but it took a moment for the Curse to lift. I lay there on the cushion I'd landed on, tears streaming down my cheeks. Both Sirius and Harry were by my side before I could catch my breath. Sirius lifted me into his arms.

"Are you okay?" he asked, moving toward the cot. I tried to nod, but my head didn't want to move. "Jules?"

"Her nose is bleeding," Harry said, picking up a cloth from one of the tables and gently wiping my face. "I thought I saw her hit it when she fell."

"Jules, answer me," Sirius said, laying me on the cot. I blinked at him. My muscles felt tightly wound, and were humming like a tuning fork.

"Aqua," Harry said, filling a glass for me. He handed it to Sirius, who held it to my mouth.

"I don't know whether to have her drink it, or pour it over her head. Jules, answer me!"

"I'm fine," I croaked, slowly rolling on to my side and curling in to a ball. "I hurt."

Sirius smiled sadly, hugging me tight. "I know you do."

I saw Harry get up and move to the shelves. He returned with a potion.

"Drink it, it's one of Madam Pomfrey's."

I took it from him and swallowed it quickly. It burned like acid going down my throat. Amazingly, I felt my muscles stop humming and I was able to sit up.

"That time was worse than before," I said, rubbing my head.

"The second time is usually the worst," Sirius agreed, handing me the cloth for my nose. I stared at the blood on it.

"Now you tell me," I joked weakly, holding the cloth under my nose. Sirius performed a Healing Charm, which made the bleeding stop. "Good thing it's almost time for bed. I've already got the shakes."

"I used to think that the after effects were as bad as the actual Curse," Sirius said. "Can you walk?"

"Sure," I said. "Though probably not without help."

Sirius helped me to my feet, wrapping his arm under mine. My knees wobbled and I leaned on him. Harry opened the door as we made our way out.

"Do you want to see Madam Pomfrey first?" he asked. I shook my head.

"I had a potion. I'll be fine with some sleep."

Sirius helped me all the way up to Gryffindor Tower, though I told him after a while I could walk. He left us at the Fat Lady. Harry helped me through it. The common room was deserted.

"I can't help you up to your dormitory, I'm afraid," Harry said to me.

"I'm okay, really," I replied. "I'll make it up there, I promise."

Harry nodded. He started to walk away then stopped.

"I'm sorry I hit you with the Curse again, Jules. I hate seeing you like that."

"Harry, I knew the risk."

"I know. But I hate doing it to you."

"I know."

"Well…I think you'll be okay after you sleep."

"Good night, Harry."

"Good night."

Okay, I know I'm a horrible, awful person for not updating this more often. I am trying to work on it every day, but the words just won't come. I've lost my way with this story. I still know how I want it to end, it's just the telling of it that isn't working. Don't worry, I'm not going to give up on it, but that means that the chapters will take a tiny bit longer to be finished. Don't give up on me! Enjoy this chapter.