Disclaimer- See chapter 1
dodgers lady- no.. none of that happened because Jess never left. Which you would know if you read the things I put at the top...
TO ALL MY REVIEWERS- Love to you all! You all get gold stars!
This is a really short chapter, it doesn't even count as a chapter all the other chapters make fun of it because its so small but I needed a way to tell you all what was happening with Jess.
Chapter 1
Jess hated himself. He left Stars Hollow three days after he raped Rory. He hated what he did to her, the word haunted him, Rape. He raped his girlfriend, the woman he loved, the woman he planned on marrying. He hated himself.
He had been slipping, while he was in Stars Hollow, slowly slipping into a very dark place. He would go out and get drunk not trying to solve his problems, he knew it wouldn't work. He drank, not to solve his problems but to drown them out for a little while. He got drunk and did stupid things. He got drunk and regretted doing so the morning after.
He knew what he did was so wrong, most days it was all he thought about. He hurt her and he needed to be hurt, was his mind set.
He had run to California he got as far away for Rory and what he did as he could. He was doing okay for a little while but then he started slipping again and this time he fell, full force. He left California and fled to New York he didn't like being so close to Connecticut and to Rory.
He started cutting back on the drinking and started writing a column for Spin. He was holding down a job and he had his own apartment, his life looked perfect from the out side but on the inside he felt like he was dying or already dead.
He hid it well, the dead part of him, which was hard to do, considering that the part that was dead was his heart. He never went near another girl, partly because he didn't trust himself and partly because he could never love another woman that wasn't Rory.
He missed her, everyday he missed her. He would relive the night, even though his drunken haze altered his memory he knew what he did and he understood. He would relive it almost every night and he would wake up terrified it was real, subsequently he didn't sleep as much as he needed to.
He started smoking again, in place of the drinking. He knew it was bad for him but he didn't care, the only reason he had quit in the first place was Rory. She got him to stop, by saying three words, 'Please. For me.', and that was it, he stopped. But she wasn't here now to ask him to stop for her, so he didn't.
He cut off all ties to his life in Stars Hollow after a few months. He hadn't heard from any one, he talked to Luke once or twice while he was in California , just to check in, but he stopped calling him around the time he stopped writing to Rory.
He was starting over, or at least he was trying to.
Its so little.. I know.. But I have to be honest with you, I have no idea where I'm going with this.. So bear with me people. Please... and some sugestions are always welcome...