There's many different types of courage in this world. I always knew that Zoe was brave in some ways. She'll happily go out with Mal and Jayne on a job. Putting her life in danger on a regular basis. She was a soldier in the Unification War, and obviously a competent one at that. The one's that weren't never returned. Then again, I sometimes think that Zoe is more of a soldier than Mal. You have to wonder what mattered the most when it came to promotions in the Independents, skill, or zeal for the cause. But I digress, and possessing one type of courage doesn't necessarily mean that a person will be courageous in all things.
We didn't realise at first that Wash had died. I think we all thought that he was just behind us. But then Kaylee noticed that he wasn't there, and the terrible truth came to light.
I could tell that Zoe was hurting. From what I've heard she's always been involved in the fighting, doing what was needed to get the job done. But this time it was if she didn't care about anything except hurting the Reavers, to the exclusion of everything else, including her own safety.
I find myself thanking fate that she was injured at the point she was. I think it brought her back from whatever place she'd gone to. I truly believe that if she hadn't been injured then, we may have had another fatality on our hands. And I'm not sure that Mal could have coped with that.
There was so much bloodshed that day. I count myself lucky that I didn't get injured. But virtually everyone else did. Some people in more ways than one.
I've been told that the pain of losing someone that you love is not comparable with anything else that we know of. And after seeing Zoe fighting those Reavers, I can certainly believe it. Wash used to refer to her as his Warrior Woman. It's an intrinsic part of who Zoe is, and it was what she reverted to once she had lost him.
But courage. Standing in the makeshift cemetery on Haven, it made me realise that Zoe will able to go on with her life without dwelling on her loss. Occasionally I'll see her just sitting, thinking. Most often in Serenity's cockpit when we're in port. It must be so hard for her to face, but she's facing her life alone with courage, not the same sort of courage that enabled her to go to war, that enables her to take part in the bar brawls and the shoot-outs, but courage all the same.