To: Not Obsessed,
My darling kitten. I am afraid to say that, in actuality, you are quite obsessed. Don't worry about it, though. It's a phase that all kits go through (especially with that Tugger walking around, 'strutting his stuff' and whatnot. Shocking. I don't know what went wrong with his upbringing….).
Where was I?
Oh, yes. There are ways for you to stop being Obsessed, and to Get Over Tugger. Just follow these steps:
Make a vow to not make any noise for a whole week. This can be surprisingly effective, seeing as you will not scream at Tugger.
Slap him in the face. Heavyside knows, he needs it.
Return his fur.
Take up tatting. I'd be happy to teach you.
Find a nice tom your own age…better yet, find a nice rubber mouse. You shouldn't be looking at toms at your age.
Sincerely, Aunt Jennyanydots
P.S: When finding the aforementioned mouse, make sure it's fake- I should be quite cross to find you tormenting one of my pupils.