Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win

By: Leelei

Disclaimer: I don't own Code:Lyoko.

Author's Note: Yes! Update, update! Thank you for the reviews.

Chapter 4

Walking through the halls, it's easy to feel like a loser when you've done four laps around the entire dorm building without running into a single person you could even say 'hi' to and receive a friendly response from in return.

I don't absolutely have to do my homework just yet, and I have nowhere to go, so I continue my weekly routine of watching the other students hurry to get ready to meet their dates or race to their games. The only bad thing about this is the brevity of the silence. During the week it's usually quiet after school for people to do their homework, but with all the students getting ready right after school, and all the parties that come back after everyone's been out, I can only get in a few hours of peace and quiet. But that still leaves time to write and think.

Tonight, though, I'm on a mission. During my endless tour of the building I finally found where Jeremie's dorm is in the new building unlike our old rooms. I was surprised, though, to find out that Aelita's room was right next to his, even though I know I should have expected it. But still, the rooms and floors are strictly for one gender each. I asked someone I vaguely knew from one of my classes, and he said that there simply wasn't any other room on the campus for Aelita and, after a letter of consent from her parents, she was allowed to dorm in the only vacant room left next to Jeremie. How convenient. I wonder how he pulled that one off, too.

The student leaves the hall and I'm left in front of the door. So what do I do? Knock and as like a moron how he's always managed to be paired with his girlfriend ever since she was a new student back at Junior High? No. That was too weird of an action, even for someone as invisible as me.

Then I notice that I'm standing in front of Aelita's door. The feeling strains my blood for a moment as my skin heats and my palms start to sweat at the thought of being so near to her again, but then I realize that the lights are turned off and no one is inside. Thinking she's out somewhere with Jeremie, I'm about to leave when I hear a giggle from the next room.

Jeremie's dorm. Of course.

I raise my hand to knock on the other door, trying to think of something random to ask just for the chance to see my beloved girl, when I see that it's been left open a crack.

Well, duh, it's been left open. It's a rule here that a boy and a girl can't be alone in a room with the door shut, especially at night. It's past curfew now, even though it's hardly enforced on game nights, and I wonder how this peep hole barely wide enough for a mouse to get through could be considered 'open.'

But I don't want to tell. When I look in myself, I'm mesmerized immediately.

Aelita -my beautiful Aelita- is wearing one of Jeremie's white dress shirts she must have taken from his closet, since he has his own room again. She was probably cold after leaving her sweater in her locker back in the school (I know I watch her too much, okay?), but didn't want to leave her dear boyfriend for a second. I know how it is. I have an imagination.

She looks so radiant…twirling around like an innocent angel. I had no idea that Jeremie had grown so much over the past couple of years. He was just a bit taller than her now, and his sleeves just covered her hands and the shirt was a bit too large for her petite body. Jeremie hasn't grown much different in stature than when he was a pre-teen, but I know Aelita has always been very skinny.

I can see Jeremie now sitting on his bed, smiling as he watches her. She's laughing, having a great time just being with him, not needing to be out at a game or in a mall to enjoy their date. They were probably doing homework together, since I can just spot a pile of books on the floor pushed off to the side near the bed.

Then she moves over to him, still swaying her hips in her little dance, still smiling her beautiful grin. She puts her hands on his shoulders, her breasts just above his direct view, but he's smiling up at her in return. He puts his hands on her hips and pulls her closer to him.

I don't know if I should watch…My heart feels sick, but my eyes feel satisfied by the image. My brain…well, my brain is apparently taking a vacation right now.

Then she leans in to kiss him, her lips gently meeting his as her hands move to feel up through the blonde hair above his neck. His own hands continue up her back, pulling her even closer to him as they fall backwards onto the bed after their kiss gains momentum. They laugh, and I strain myself to see more.

She's laying down on her back now, my beautiful angel, and there Jeremie lays next to her, his head propped up in his hand by leaning on an elbow. She looks into his eyes as they talk and laugh together.

Then he moves his hand to tickle her, her navel exposed as her undershirt lifted a little when she laid down. She giggles again, scrunching up and gently taking a hold of his hand through the long sleeves of the shirt.

I've never seen her so perfect before.

I keep watching as they pause, just gazing into each others eyes before Jeremie leans down and kisses her again. Now I know I'm sick.

Their kiss deepens and he gently puts a hand on her neck, holding her to him. She seems so eager, so willing, I fear that I'm going to die watching her happiness.

Then suddenly…he's on top of her. I don't know when it happened, but he moved and now he's over her, breaking his kiss and playing with a strand of her hair as she looks up into his eyes again. She says something, my angel, and giggles again at his response. He seemed pleased at her gesture, since he's kissing her again.

I can't watch anymore. My heart feels inflamed, my eyes are well beyond gorged, and my brain has finally returned to snap me back into the reality of the image I'm watching. My eyebrows have nearly touched my hairline as I see Jeremie's hand suddenly drops out of view. Now I know what I'm seeing.

I'm so startled that when I move to leave, I actually pull the door shut. Did they notice? Will they come out and find me? How do I know?

I fucking ran.

Chapter 5 coming soon.