AN: Thanks for the reviews, it was a lot of fun reading through the comments and seeing who was thinking what, and some of you were close! Here are the next two chapters that will leave you with the answers as to just what is actually happening. Shelly was the evil genius behind this plot, as she is in most of them (she's got a wicked bunny plot generator in that mind of hers). But when she sent it to me, I couldn't agree fast enough.

NOT THE DADDY...part 4

After Rodney left him, John did head back to his quarters. He did pee. He then slipped into sweats and a tee shirt and crawled into bed. He woke up a few hours later to Teyla calling his name. He croaked a response to her then slid out of bed to dash into the bathroom. His bladder felt like it was overflowing. After peeing, John was more awake and hungry. Actually starving was a better word. He returned to his room to find Teyla still waiting for him. "I'm fine," he told her, as he stepped into a pair of old sneakers. "Just hungry."

"I can get you something to eat," Teyla replied, her dark eyes reflecting concern.

"Are you sure?" John felt tired enough to take her up on her offer.

Teyla nodded. "I am sure."

John kicked off his sneakers and curled up on his bed. "Thanks, a lot," he said, after a killer yawn that nearly cracked his jaw. He really shouldn't be this tired, but he felt like he hadn't slept at all.

"I will be back shortly," Teyla replied.

"'Kay," John countered, then he drifted back to sleep.

It felt like he had only been out for a few minutes when something heavy shook him. John's eyes popped open to find Ronon looming over him. He scampered back, realized his bladder was full...again…and almost fell off the bed in his haste to get into the bathroom. Once he had nature taken care of, John splashed cold water on his face, then he pressed a hand to his flat stomach. He was starving. Which reminded him. He must have slept through Teyla's return with food, given that Ronon was now on his shift. "This is getting ridiculous," John said to his reflection.

Heading back out to his room, he found Ronon at the table in the corner, munching on power bars. "Any of those for me?" John asked, as he moved to join the Warrior.

"I saved you a few," Ronon allowed, not quite smiling at him.

"Thanks." John sat down, grabbed a bar, peeled it out of the wrapper and took a big bite. It tasted like heaven. He finished it in three bites and opened another, which he waved at Ronon as he stated, "By the way, I'm fine. You can go now. Sorry about Beckett making you do this."

Ronon shrugged then rose to his feet. "I don't mind. I was up anyway." That said he headed out the door.

John glanced at his watch. It was six AM. So not that big of a surprise that Ronon would be up. He was usually up before now himself. Oddly though, John still felt tired. Like he hadn't slept at all. He was pretty sure now that he had some kind of Pegasus bug and it was working its way through his system. Given that he hadn't puked -- John broke off that thought to make a mad dash for the bathroom. A moment later he had puked up the power bars then he was sitting next to the toilet, feeling shaky and nauseous.

"Sonofabitch!" John cursed. He sat there until he felt stronger then he got up, brushed his teeth, then stripped and stepped into the shower. He felt damp and sick and he hoped to wash the feeling away.

Ten minutes later, dressed in a fresh tee shirt and sweats, John did feel better. And still hungry. There were still a few powerbars on the table and John ripped one open. But once he could smell it, he felt nauseous again so he tossed it aside and settled for crawling back into bed. He curled up under the covers, closed his heavy eyelids and drifted back to sleep.

This time he came awake to a soft voice repeating his name. After a time, John recognized that it was Elizabeth calling him and he forced his eyes open. "Wha..? 'M'up." He felt fuzzy headed, his voice was hoarse, his bladder was full and he was beyond starving.

Elizabeth was eyeing him with concern. "John? Should I call Carson?"

"No!" John rubbed his eyes, attempting to wipe the sleep out of them, then he was rolling off the bed. On his way to the bathroom he called over his shoulder. "I'm good. Really. Be right back." Once in the bathroom he relieved his bladder, brushed his teeth then splashed cold water on his face. He still felt tired. It was getting ridiculous. Running his fingers through his hair, which made pretty much every strand stand on end, John returned to his room to find Elizabeth pacing. He offered a tired grin. "Guess it's ten o'clock."

"I had a hard time waking you up, John," Elizabeth said quietly. "You still look tired."

He thought about lying but decided against it. "I am. A little. But I feel fine otherwise."

Elizabeth crossed her arms over her chest, studied him a moment, then asked, "No more vomiting?"

"Uh...no." John winced a bit at the lie. But he knew if he told the truth she'd march him down to the infirmary. All John wanted to do right now was shower then get something to eat.

"Are you sure?" Elizabeth countered.

John did his best not to fidget but he couldn't hold her gaze as he replied, "I would know if I puked."

She made a face but let it go. "Carson is expecting you in the infirmary in two hours."

"I know. I'm going to shower, get something to eat then I'll check in early." John found himself perking up a bit. "Once he clears me I'll be back on duty. Anything planned I should know about?"

"Just a meeting with Caldwell," Elizabeth replied. "The Daedalus will be here in about three hours."

John was surprised to hear that. "Oh. Um...Then I should be at the meeting."

Elizabeth's gaze narrowed, but then she shrugged. "Only if you feel up to it."

"I'll be there," John promised, because he was damned if he was going to let some stupid bug get the best of him.

"I'll be checking in with Carson to make certain he's cleared you," Elizabeth warned.

John knew she would. "No problem." He smiled, cheekily, then watched her turn and leave his room. The moment she was gone, John headed for the shower. Twenty minutes later he was dressed in his uniform and heading for the messhall. He loaded up his tray and headed for a table, spotting Teyla, off by herself, in the corner. "Mind if I join you?" John queried.

She smiled at him. "I would be honored." Her own tray was empty.

"Thanks." John sat down and picked up his turkey sandwich. "Busy later?" he asked, before taking a bite.

"I do not think so," Teyla replied. "We are on leave until you are feeling better."

John frowned at that. He hadn't thought about the fact that when he was grounded, so was his teammates. "Sorry about that. I have a check up with him after I'm done eating and I'm sure I'll clear it. I was thinking maybe we could have a practice session before supper?"

Teyla smiled and nodded. "I would like that. You have been doing well."

"I've been practicing," John chirped, feeling pleased with her praise. And he had been too. He had watched Teyla in action with her sticks, out on missions, and he knew that her style of fighting was useful. So he wanted to learn as much as he could. And there was the underlying fact that he wanted to be able to kick her butt, just once, someday.

"It shows," Teyla responded.

John nodded, then took another bite of his sandwich. It tasted wonderful. Normally he would have coffee to drink but today he had a glass of milk and he drank half the glass down, ignoring the ache in his throat from the chill of the liquid. It tasted damn good, and he hadn't been much of a milk drinker since his teenage years.

While he continued eating, John chatted with Teyla, mostly listening to her talk about her latest visit to her people on the mainland. By the time John was done eating, it was nearly eleven and he and Teyla parted ways until later. John disposed of his tray and headed for the infirmary. He felt better than he had in days. He didn't have to pee at the moment. He didn't feel as tired, and he wasn't the least bit nauseous. So far, so good.

The moment John stepped into the infirmary, Beckett was there, fussing over him. John answered all of his questions. Mostly honestly. He let Beckett take his vitals, then he assured him he felt fine. That he had just eaten a huge meal and he was ready to get back to work.

"You're still grounded for now, Colonel," Carson stated. "But you can continue your duties here on Atlantis."

"How long am I grounded for?" John asked, as he slid off the gurney.

Carson tapped his chin as he considered. "I want to observe your condition for another twenty-four hours. If you dinnae suffer any setbacks, then I'll clear you for gate travel again."

John wanted to argue with him, but he realized that Beckett was being fair. He needed to be one hundred percent before heading out on a mission. So John nodded his acceptance, then headed out. He had time before Caldwell showed up, so John decided to get some reports done. Which would make Elizabeth happy and keep her off his back at the same time. But he made a pit stop at the messhall before heading to his room. With a handful of powerbars at his disposal, John stretched out on his bed with his laptop and started typing.

Twenty minutes later he had to pee. Ten minutes after that he was sound asleep.

"Colonel Sheppard, come in please."

John jerked awake at the sound of his name in his ear. He realized it came from his radio piece and he tapped it as he sat up in bed. "Sheppard here."

Elizabeth made a sound that sounded like an exasperated sigh. "You're late for the meeting, Colonel. Is there a problem?"

"Shit!" John hissed, then clapped a hand over his mouth. "Sorry...I, um...I lost track of time." He glanced at his watch and realized he was ten minutes late. "I'll be right there." John was already logging off of his report program, then he made a mad dash for the bathroom. Once again his bladder felt like it was going to burst. He washed his hands, splashed cold water on his face, combed his fingers through his hair then dashed out the door.

When he entered the conference room, John felt all eyes upon him. Luckily there weren't all that many eyes. Just Weir, Caldwell and Zelenka, who seemed to be in mid report. John realized Rodney must have sent Zelenka to fill in for him. Not surprising since John knew that Rodney was not a big fan of Caldwell's. He offered an apology as he slid into his chair. "Sorry I'm late. I got caught up in my reports."

Elizabeth was staring at him through narrowed eyes, but seemed to accept his excuse. "You'll have to catch up," she said, then she nodded at Zelenka. "Please continue.

John focused on Zelenka and tried to pay attention, but he felt himself nodding off. He shouldn't be so damn tired. It was starting to irritate him. But his eyelids wanted to close so John got up and started pacing. He did so at the back of the room so as to not disturb Zelenka's train of thought. But he was the one who was distracted, by his growling stomach. John pressed a hand to his flat belly and prayed no one else could hear it.

"Anything to add, Colonel?"

John froze when he realized he hadn't been paying the least bit attention and that it was Caldwell asking him the question. He went for a neutral expression and tried to bluff his way out. "No...nothing, sir."

Elizabeth rose from her chair. "I guess that's all then, gentleman. We can discuss that other matter in my office, Colonel Caldwell."

"Of course," Caldwell replied, as he exited the conference room after Zelenka.

"John?" Elizabeth had lingered behind.

He jumped then stared at her. "What?"

She looked concerned. "Are you sure you're all right? I know Beckett cleared you --"

"I'm fine," he interjected. "Really. Just...hungry. I'm gonna go grab a bite. You don't need me for anything. Do you?"

"No. Go ahead." Elizabeth gestured to the door.

John nodded then took off. He headed straight for the messhall and grabbed another turkey sandwich. He downed it with another glass of milk and managed to take the edge off his hunger. What he wanted now was something sweet and he had a stash of chocolate in his room. Milky Way bars. So John stepped into the nearest transporter and a few minutes later he had inhaled two candy bars. Now he was full. And sleepy. But he had practice with Teyla in about half an hour and he knew he needed to walk off some of the food. So John changed into his exercise gear, went to the bathroom, again, then he grabbed his gym bag and headed out. The walk to the gym would work off some calories. Not that he had to worry about his weight. If anything, like always, he had to worry about keeping it up so Beckett wouldn't bitch at him and Rodney wouldn't try to feed him and pretend otherwise.

By the time John reached the gym he had to pee again and he blamed it on the milk. Teyla was already there, warming up, and John dropped his gym bag and told her he'd be right with her. He then used the facilities next door. He felt better by the time he returned to the gym. "Ready to kick my butt?" John asked Teyla, as he did a few stretches of his own. Truthfully, he admired her skill, so the fact that she could best him didn't really bother him. Most of the time.

"I am ready," Teyla replied, as she picked up her sticks.

"Me too." John grinned as he grabbed his own then he moved to face her in the center of the room. They touched foreheads then took a step back and fell into a fighting stance. John watched her carefully as she made to circle around him. When she struck out at him, he was ready.

And so it went for the next twenty minutes. They moved as if in a dance, only as John made to execute a blocking move, his knees suddenly buckled as vertigo hit him without warning. He watched Teyla's form blur at the edges, then he was falling into darkness.

THE END...of part 4