Dear 'Aunt' Jennyanydots,
'Aunt' Jennyanydots. It suits you.
As you may know (as you saw me handing this to you), I am quite a fat cat. I am rather proud of it, as I had always thought it gave me a scholarly, astute dignity about me. But my human family's veterinarian- horrible things, veterinarians. Always 'winking' at you, giving you no proper respect…
Anyway, my family's veterinarian informed my humans that my…gluttony was getting a bit dangerous to my health. Along with saying that they should cease to take me with them when taste-testing across the globe- (take me with them? I was most offended.)- they said I should go on a diet.
Go on a diet.
How in heavyside's name am I, of all people, going to do this?
Sincerely,
Frustrated Twenty-five Pounder