When John woke up, he groaned, because not only was McKay leaning over him staring worriedly, but so were Teyla and Beckett. Triple jeopardy. And, he was back in the infirmary.
"This sucks," he admitted tiredly.
"Aye, I'm sure it does," answered Beckett. "Now, would you like to be telling me why you thought fighting with Teyla was wise?"
"I feel fine!" And if he hadn't turned five shades of puce, and bolted for the bedside table two beds over, where a stainless steel emesis basin was sitting, he probably would've been believed. Unfortunately, throwing up in front of everyone spoiled the effect he was going for.
McKay looked a little green, and even while he moved to help Sheppard, he was fighting to not breathe in. "Carson, you've got to stop this. What is wrong with him? I mean, really," he handed John the rag he'd gotten wet, "he's peeing like a middle aged man riddled with kidney stones, throwing up if he blinks the wrong way, or worse, if any of us blink the wrong way, and eating ten times the normal amount at one sitting -"
The room fell dead quiet as three minds processed the implications of McKay's statement. Sheppard straightened, the only one not getting it, and washed his mouth out with a cup of water Teyla had handed to him after he'd wiped his face with the rag McKay had provided. He looked at the three people suddenly staring at him with a mixture of surprise, and suspicion.
"What?" he snapped, moving back to the bed, handing the basin over thankfully to a nurse…and speaking of peeing –
"Oh my god, he's knocked up!" exclaimed McKay. Rodney was rapidly changing from consternation to accusation. "It was Chaya, wasn't it? I knew she was just an intergalactic slut, and look what she did – Carson, did you know that they could do that?"
Teyla was assessing Sheppard carefully and she dipped her head slightly in Rodney's direction. "I believe Doctor McKay may be on to something. The women I have known to be with child have acted thusly, including fainting during work-outs."
It was only when Beckett didn't pipe up with the biological fact that men can't be pregnant, that Sheppard got annoyed. "I'm not pregnant!" he stated. "Men don't get pregnant, and besides, what Chaya did wasn't the kind of thing that'd get anyone pregnant, in the conventional, physical, human kind of way."
Beckett was still staring at him with far too much considering going on, but he slowly agreed. "I have to agree with Colonel Sheppard. Besides, if it had been Chaya, he would've shown symptoms before…or, at least, I think he would've."
"It's just a stomach bug I picked up somewhere," said Sheppard absently, thinking if he could get out of here, he'd have enough time to run by the mess and get a bowl of that blue Jell-O. For some reason, that sounded inordinately good right now, in fact, he was convinced it'd settle his stomach. "You know, I feel fine now, could I go – kind of hungry, and the mess should be serving dinner about now."
"Okay, that does it, Carson, run a pregnancy test, RIGHT NOW," demanded McKay.
Sheppard stood up, and wavered woozily, and Rodney leaped forward, easing him back to the bed. "I'm not pregnant," he murmured helplessly. But, he was beginning to wonder just what was going on.
Carson had moved to John's side, and helped tuck him back in bed. He tried to smile reassuringly, while sniping at Rodney. "The Colonel is not pregnant, Rodney, but we do have something we can investigate."
"Doctor?" Teyla asked looking at him curiously.
"His symptoms began after he aided the female from Eradia, correct?" At Teyla's nod, he continued, "therefore, since our tests show nothing, and he continues to show symptoms of some type of illness, we need to return to Eradia and speak with Dreya, see if maybe she wasn't ill before their contact, or maybe has fallen ill since."
Sheppard thought that was the best idea all day. He was more than ready to start getting back to normal. "Now that makes sense," he affirmed. "Get Weir on the comm, and lets get this ball rolling -"
"Not you, Colonel."
Beckett had uttered it with conviction, but Sheppard wasn't willing to take it lying down. Which was precisely why he stood, and had to make another bolted dash towards something to throw up in – again.
McKay sidled closer to Teyla, and murmured to Carson. "Right, I'll just, umm, get right on that." He backed towards the door and added, "in person."
While Beckett moved to aid Sheppard, Teyla joined McKay at the door and agreed. "I will accompany Doctor McKay, as well."
John was dimly aware of the door closing behind them, before he was caught up in another bout of dry heaves. And through it all, the pervading thought running through his mind was just how much this whole situation sucked –
OoO
Elizabeth had okayed the mission back to Eradia, and though Sheppard wasn't being allowed to return with them, McKay had gotten the okay to take Ronon, Teyla and Carson. He'd debated on forcing the issue for haz-mat suits, but judging from Carson's harried features, he decided perhaps he shouldn't push things.
He banked the jumper, sending Ronon slumping against the bulkhead against his right side.
"You sure Sheppard taught you how to fly this thing?" Ronon asked skeptically, straightening as the jumper straightened.
"Yes, he taught me to fly this 'thing', and it's called a 'Puddle Jumper', learn the terminology."
Ronon's eyebrow arched, and he scanned the ship measurably. "Puddle jumper?"
McKay looked away from the view, and commiserated with Ronon. "Yes, I know, silly isn't it? I tried to talk them out of it, of course -"
"Rodney, fly the bloody ship!" bellowed Beckett as the jumper began to list toward the ground because of McKay's distracted conversation.
"I am flying the bloody ship!" snapped McKay, facing forward sharply, nerves on edge. "Why don't you worry about your job and I'll worry about mine!"
"That's fine, but I can't do my job if we crash," grouched Beckett.
"Doctor, is it much further?" interrupted Teyla, pointedly glancing a look at Ronon. McKay and Beckett sniped almost more than Sheppard and McKay, and Teyla was in no mood to listen.
"Not much further at all," said McKay, pulling up the jumper before stopping, and gently lowering to the ground. "In fact, here we are." He announced it with a satisfied air. He could fly the jumper just fine, as long as he wasn't being chased by wraith or some other bad guy intent on killing him –
"Are they expecting us?" Teyla asked as she secured her vest, before turning to Beckett and helping him with his kit.
"No," said McKay. "I didn't think to call ahead – of course, they're expecting us. You know, I am perfectly capable of managing when Sheppard is incapacitated."
Ronon clapped a friendly hand on his shoulder. "I'll be sure to tell Sheppard that."
McKay stood for a minute, trying to figure out if Ronon was actually pulling his leg, and he saw the three exit the jumper and walk towards the building that he recognized as Dreya's. "Hey!" he called out, scrabbling after.
By the time he'd caught up, having to pause long enough to close up the rear hatch and secure the ship, they were seated in Dreya's home, in what equated to a living room, on fabric covered benches. Beckett was explaining Sheppard's symptoms to Dreya, and McKay noticed that Hamas was present as well.
Dreya was shooting nervous looks at the other Eradian, and Rodney narrowed his eyes at the surreptitious behavior, before dropping down on the only opening left, next to Ronon. Dex glared, and McKay forcibly pushed against the bulk of the man, trying to get enough space to sit.
"- as you can understand, we were hoping maybe you'd be able to shed light on the Colonel's illness," finished Carson.
Dreya had grown increasingly uncomfortable, and her reaction had become apparent to everyone in the room. Teyla was looking at her coolly, Ronon – heatedly, and Beckett confused.
"I see you do know," said Beckett softly, giving her an opening to explain.
The woman shifted awkwardly, and reached for Hamas's hand. "Yes, Doctor Beckett, as you have correctly surmised, I do know what is affecting Colonel Sheppard."
"I don't believe this!" exploded Rodney. "Why? What is it about him that paints a target for all the alien women to come screw with him?" McKay was angry. Sheppard was his friend, and basically it boiled down to only him having carte blanche to getting John in drek up to his neck, and no one else, in fact, it pissed him off when others messed with Sheppard. "You know, he tried to help you, and whatever you did, you're going to fix it. Now."
Ronon was looking at him bemused by his outburst, but Beckett and Teyla appeared ready to applaud. Sometimes Rodney's politics were appropriate.
But Dreya was already shaking her head sadly. "I'm afraid there is nothing I can do."
McKay paled, and the anger drained from his face – "Nothing?"
"I'm afraid it is permanent," said Hamas. "It is the way of our people. Dreya didn't mean to – it's just, when your Colonel grabbed her, she sensed the code and -"
"What?" Beckett asked sharply.
"Code- the ATA gene," surmised McKay. "But what does that have to do -"
"A month ago, my husband was killed in a culling. I had no one to bond with, and when I sensed the code in John, I couldn't…I'm sorry," she broke off, turning her face away.
Teyla was the gentle spirit on the team, and she got up, moving over towards Dreya, and taking the woman's hands away from her face. "You bonded with Colonel Sheppard?" she prodded carefully.
Dreya nodded miserably. "It is the way of my people. When a woman bears a child, she bonds with her mate, sharing everything as the child grows -"
"Oh my god, I was right!" interrupted McKay. "He's been knocked up!"
"Shut up, Rodney!" snapped Carson. He turned his attention on Dreya. "I'm not following you, lass, what do you mean by bonded? And do you mean to tell me that Sheppard got you with child?"
She shook her head vigorously. "No, the child, it is my Beren's. I found out only a day before he was taken by the wraith. He was trading on another world, and they came - we only found out when a survivor managed to gate to our world, and explained about the devastation. They'd taken almost everyone on Rotalde. Men, women and children, not even leaving enough people to survive alone. Beren had begged people to bring the news to me if he wasn't able to escape." Dreya's voice trembled. She looked as horrified as she did grief-stricken. "Do you know that out of fifty others he confided in with our world's address, only one made it here? Only one person escaped."
The silence in the room was solemn. Everyone there understood the devastation that the wraith could incur. But, that's not why they were back on Eradia this time. The defensive technology had brought them here, but now Sheppard's condition was taking precedence.
"Then, this bonding, does it normally make men ill?" Beckett was trying to make sense of the unexpected turn of events.
"It can," said Hamas. "Especially at first. A woman's body has had more time to adjust to the life growing within – the bonded mate may experience exaggerated symptoms at first, but they recede more to a typical level soon after the bond has been created."
"Okay," said Carson, holding up a hand to forestall other interruptions. "Let me see if I've got this straight – Dreya is…with child, and her mate was killed, so when she sensed Colonel Sheppard's ATA gene – this code, she bonded him, and this means that he experiences what she experiences?"
Dreya nodded.
"And how long does this bond last?" Beckett asked sharply. His doctor hackles were raised at the thought of an innocent man being harangued into this arrangement.
"Till the child is a full moon's age."
Ronon jumped to his feet, and approached Dreya, who flinched away, seeing the menacing look on his face. "Your actions were wrong," he said bitterly. "Forcing a bond such as this on someone you do not even know. Lucky for you, Sheppard is a better man than most. He likely will not kill you." He'd been close – a hand's distance, and pulled back, casting one final disgusted look at her before adding, "I probably would've," before stalking out the room.
Ronon's strong reaction surprised McKay, and he coughed, before standing quickly, saying, "I'll be, uh, waiting with him."
McKay found Ronon fuming at the jumper. "What was that about?" he snapped. "Because that was rude." Hello pot, this is kettle, but rudeness in others was easier to recognize and find inappropriate then when it came from him. His rudeness was always warranted – well, almost always.
"She took advantage of him," said Ronon, not even turning to face him. "Forced him to experience child bearing, and a bond of mates." Ronon's voice quavered. He turned finally, looking at Rodney, and McKay was shocked by the savage twist in the man's features. "Do you know how sacrilegious such an act as this is on my world?"
"But it's not," said McKay reasonably.
Ronon's brow furrowed in consternation at the physicist. "Not what?"
"Not your world, not your planet, and not your people – and maybe that's what's really eating at you." McKay stared him down. "I mean, what she did pisses me off also, but let's face it, the joke opportunity just sky rocketed, Sheppard pregnant – this is going to be fun."
And honestly, it kind of was. He couldn't wait to see the look on Sheppard's face when he found out – and maybe he could be the godfather? Godfather to a little alien baby – they were going to have to bring Dreya to Atlantis, keep her safe, and all that stuff, and give her decent medical care for her pregnancy.
"Yeah, maybe, but she was still wrong," persisted Ronon stubbornly. "No man should have this forced on him without agreeing."
"Hmmmm," asked McKay, still wondering if he could be godfather to a baby that wasn't even technically Sheppard's baby, but hey, if he had to experience it all, didn't that give him some rights? By proxy, maybe –
"McKay," growled Ronon. "You are not listening."
"Sure I am, you think Sheppard was basically raped, and I think the whole thing is rather funny, does that sum it up?"
Dex cuffed McKay on the back of the head. "They're leaving, let's go."
"Hey!" yelped Rodney, rubbing the back of his head, but looking over his shoulder, he could see Carson and Teyla heading their way. Dreya wasn't with them. No, no no no, where was she? They couldn't leave her behind…
"Where is she?" he snapped at Carson when he got within earshot.
"She wouldn't agree to coming back with us." Beckett's face was wreathed in frustration.
"Ronon, go, fetch, bring pregnant woman back," he ordered.
Ronon smiled again, a flutter of amusement breaking through his earlier anger, and he looked at Teyla for further direction. She shook her head, and gestured at the hatch.
"We should return, Doctor McKay, we have much explaining to do."
He stared at each one in turn, dumbfounded that they'd actually leave without the woman, but no one seemed to share his concerns. "Fine," he hissed. "But I'm telling you, Sheppard's going to say the same thing when we get back, and you can explain to him why you left without her!"
He huffed, and opened the hatch, and stomped in, not even looking to see if they followed –
The End…of part five