AN: And here you all thought we were evil before...just read!

Not the Daddy…part 15

Pregnancy clock: 5 months, 1 week

"Sheppard," hissed McKay. "Do you have to, you know, throw up – or anything like that? Cause you look a little green - I can fake something to get them to stop…"

John was in front of Rodney, and stumbled over a thick root. His balance issues had developed balance issues. The conflicting information about a center of gravity that really wasn't his had his feet trying to compensate. Toss in the bound wrists, and staying upright was more challenging then he'd given it credit to be.

Course, then you had the whole getting queasy factor, and he wasn't sure if that was from Dreya, or the sickening feeling in his gut that he'd walked his team right into a trap.

When they'd contacted the monks on Baltar to trade for some more Pezza, a type of grain that you could grind and use in baking, something had sounded a little off to his ears, but Sheppard had chalked it up to being rusty from the lack of missions.

Realizing that McKay was still waiting and growing more anxious, he tried to talk inconspicuously over his shoulder, keeping his mouth as still as possible. "I'm fine, keep it down."

A strong kick from down below startled him. Crap, Junior was getting vicious. He'd felt skin move on that one.

Ronon was shooting him knowing looks.

"I'm fine," Sheppard hissed in his direction. There were tied up like holiday turkey's and all his team had time to do was stare at him like a bunch of worried mother hens? When they got out of this, he was going to do a training weekend on allowing your weaknesses to overcome common sense.

It was crippling to, one, bring attention to the possible weak link in a captured party and, two, pay attention to the weak link, and thereby take attention off of the surroundings and potential escape routes. Ronon should've known better. And it pissed him off to admit that he was the weakest link.

Of course, then he had to go and trip again, but this time wasn't able to catch himself. He twisted, trying to make sure he didn't smash his face, but instead he hit on his recently healed shoulder and felt a bloom of pain in response.

"Sonofabitch!" he cursed.

Teyla was nearest, and tried to stand near, the intent to help him get up, but with her hands tied as well, she couldn't do much – still, she hovered between him and one of the rebels that had stopped and headed back towards them.

The rebel sneered at the downed colonel. "Weak warriors, no wonder you needed to trade with the monks." He prodded Sheppard with a booted foot. "Get up!"

John could tell Teyla was pissed, but she kept her calm, the way she always managed to do.

"He cannot with his hands tied behind his back," she stated coolly.

If it weren't for the fact that Sheppard was still protecting his recent appendix scar, he would've said something that probably would've earned him a punch in the stomach. Knowing that he didn't really want to get hit there, not to mention it might end up with his throwing up breakfast, he rolled to his knees, fighting to move against the round ligament pain the movement caused.

Teyla and Ronon tried to create a wedge that he could lean and push against, and after a couple of tries, John was up. Tired, queasier, but up.

"Thanks," he said to his teammates.

The rebel only nodded when he got to his feet, but still sneered at the amount of effort it took, before moving forward again. Sheppard wanted to kick him in the head. His feet were free – but then he caught McKay staring at him worriedly.

Sheppard restrained himself, and that took a lot more than you'd think, and nudged Teyla to get moving. He didn't want anyone else getting used as a punching bag either. Some of the rebels looked reluctant to have them captives, and he imagined they wouldn't mind finding an excuse to use those weapons in their hands.

The remaining march to the rebel camp wasn't pretty. John tripped and fell two more times, and by the third time, the rebels in the lead didn't bother stopping, and the ones behind waited while Teyla, Ronon and McKay managed to get him back up.

They crested a steep hill, one that'd left John breathless and hurting even worse, with all kinds of things tugging and aching, only to see a large encampment below. The tents were rough, a canvas type material from what he could tell. And as they got closer, his spirit dropped even farther. Crude was an understatement for the place.

Fires dotted around, with tired looking women in dirty clothes tending steaming pots of something. Probably a stew of some kind, he guessed. Children ran about screeching and cavorting, dodging between their mother's legs, and followed by dogs nipping at their heels. They were unkept, and dirty, but at least they looked happy, he thought.

"Sit," ordered one of the burlier rebels that'd ambushed them.

Sheppard nodded to his team, and they dropped to the ground awkwardly. The rebel waved at two others, and they came over and started untying the ropes around their wrists.

When John's hands were free, he moved them to the front and fought against the horrible rush of pain from the freed circulation. He noticed the winces from his team, and knew he wasn't the only one hurting.

The only difference was that he was pretty sure it was only a matter of minutes before he lost the battle to keep breakfast down, and the constant pitter-patter against his belly wasn't helping. Not to mention, the others were sitting Indian style, and he had his legs stretched out in an awkward position, in part because of his aching back, but also because his stomach felt bigger than it was.

The big man gestured to the others to move away.

"My name is Lathos, the leader of the New Baltarian Order. You were trading partners with the former rulers of our world, the monks. You will now trade with us."

Sheppard shot a warning look at McKay to keep his mouth shut, but even while he was doing it, Rodney snorted and said, "Playground bullies don't impress us."

Lathos didn't get what playground bullies meant, but he definitely got the derision in McKay's tone.

"Really," he said, moving closer to McKay. "What will it take to…impress you?"

Rodney, failing to realize the precariousness of his situation, chuckled and said, "A brain."

The slap to Rodney's face had him reeling backward, and caused Sheppard to wince. Lathos stood over him, looking down with barely contained anger. "I assure you, Doctor McKay – yes, we know who you are – I have a brain. You will find out in short order just how much of one I have."

Lathos gestured at his men. "Take them to the tent that's been prepared."

And that's when John lost his hold on his stomach contents. He scrambled to his knees, and hunched over, throwing up on the dirt ground until only dry heaves wracked his body. An annoyed kick low in his belly made him wonder if maybe there was something more than a one-way connection. At least the baby wasn't really here, because if that were the case, he'd have a lot more to worry about than getting his team out alive.

"What's wrong with him?" barked Lathos, staring at him as if he were carrying some lethal disease.

Ronon, who up to this point had remained quiet and watchful, spoke. "Our doctor thinks it's a fatal virus. If so, you won't have to worry about your trading agreements, everyone in this camp will be dead in a week."

He said it so straight-faced that even Sheppard believed him.

"You're lying," Lathos said flatly. "Take them."

The guards hesitated, but at a look that promised trouble from their leader, they moved forward and started prodding Sheppard's team forward.

McKay, still rubbing his jaw, offered his other hand to John, who was still trying to get his feet under him.

Sheppard pulled himself up, wavering, and warned Rodney, "Next time don't piss off someone bigger than you."

"Please, the guy is a Neanderthal. He doesn't even know an insult if it smacked him in the face."

"Knew enough to smack you," rumbled Ronon.

"Even rocks get lucky," replied McKay.

They were silent as they approached the tent that was apparently their 'guest accommodations'. The guard waved the gun at the entrance, and Rodney rolled his eyes.

"See, even primitive language skills elude these people."

Sheppard almost laughed, because the guard nearest knew that something derogatory had just been said, but didn't know what. Then the guard shoved him so hard through the tent flap that he went down on his knees.

"Ow," he yelped, reaching instantly to cradle a belly that wasn't there. Did he say this was a bad idea? Because really, this was a bad idea. Suddenly the problems of just dealing with the pregnancy alone seemed insignificant. And then the queasiness reared again, and he dashed for a pot in the corner and threw up what was left in his stomach.

Lathos came in an hour later, and asked if they'd reconsidered their position. McKay asked if he'd found his brain. Now Rodney was unconscious, and Sheppard was still throwing up. The only thing coming up was bile and the water Teyla had forced into him.

He leaned against a box that Ronon had pulled from the back of the tent, and looked down at McKay. Teyla had gotten Rodney situated next to him, and it looked like all he'd suffered was a concussion from the blow, not that that wasn't bad enough. When Rodney regained consciousness, Sheppard was going to tell him that he'd either shut up, or Lathos was going to turn him into a vegetable, because Lathos didn't look the sort to keep pulling his punches.

God, he felt sick, he thought wearily. Once you started getting dehydrated, the condition itself will feed on the state, only making it worse. It was a vicious cycle. And judging from the growing headache, he knew that's what was continuing the nausea.

"We need to escape." Ronon was pacing around the perimeter like a caged lion.

"Colonel Sheppard needs help first, Ronon." Teyla moved towards the flap.

"Teyla," John called. She hesitated, looking over at him. "I'm fine," he lied.

"No, you are not," she said. And proceeded to peer out the flap, calling to one of the guards. When the guard came near, she whispered something low, and he couldn't make out what it was she said.

He lay back, giving up on trying to hear. He was almost too weak to even care. He needed to get past this queasiness, get some water down, and get his team back to the gate. Right now, he couldn't even move without wanting to puke, and despite everything, he knew if they made it back, he'd probably never be able to convince Elizabeth to let him go on another mission until after this damn bond was ended.

And, almost to spite him, he felt another flutter from below.

OoO

Sheppard woke up to the smothering sensation of someone draped over him. His eyes popped open, and he almost screamed as he saw the face of an old woman hovering an inch from his face.

"What the -" he rapidly started to push himself up and back.

"Stop, Sheppard," ordered Ronon.

John stopped, but he turned his head trying to figure out what was going on. Ronon was sitting next to Rodney, who had rolled on to his side, and Dex was whittling a piece of wood with a sharp rock he'd found from the ground. The tent didn't have a floor, so there were plenty to choose from.

"Roma is the healer, John." Teyla spoke up from the shadows past his feet. "She's agreed to try and help you."

Sheppard swallowed against the rising bile. "Rodney?" he asked hoarsely.

"Woke up an hour ago. Headache," Ronon supplied, continuing to carve.

"Great." Sheppard cringed away from the old woman as she hovered again, making him feel extremely crowded. She was leaning so close that he could feel her chest pushing against his stomach.

Just then, the baby kicked, hard.

The old woman shrieked, and jumped back, staring at his stomach like he was possessed.

Teyla stepped forward. "Roma, what is it?"

"Demon!" she shouted wild-eyed. "There's a demon in this one!"

Ronon clambered to his feet. "Shut up, old woman, there's no demon in him. It's -"

And for the first time since Sheppard had met Ronon, he found the man perplexed. He seemed as dumbfounded by it as anyone, and looked at Teyla with a look that seemed a lot like 'help me'.

"It is – gas bubbles, from the illness," said Teyla slowly, trying to find something to explain away the baby's kick.

Roma was practically trembling in fear. "That's not sickness, there's a demon in that one," she swore, and before Ronon could grab her, she'd backed out of the tent, spun around and left.

Rodney stirred, and sat up woozily, blinking at the scene around him. "Did I miss anything?"

OoO

Now, Sheppard knew they really needed to escape. Baltar's world was superstitious. The monks had ruled fairly, but with a lot of influence, and if you wanted an idea of the culture, think Salem Witch trials. They were as paranoid a bunch as you would find.

Before, it hadn't been important what kind of culture they had. Now – it was kind of important.

"They wouldn't believe it even if you tried," Sheppard argued with Teyla.

She was insisting that when Roma, or if, rather, she returned, to try and explain that Sheppard was experiencing a bonded pregnancy from another culture on a far away planet. John didn't think it'd work. The main reason being, this culture was as backwards as they come. The religion had the people in an iron fist. But, aside from that, Roma was old, and the healer, and even if she believed, she wouldn't want to look like a fool, or in this case, 'the healer that cried demon', he thought wryly.

Now, he could only hope, they didn't believe in burning demons from a stake.

"Colonel, are you feeling better?" Teyla asked.

"No, I'm not," he grouched. "But at least Lathos has quit trying to get us to agree to his terms, and thereby stopped using Rodney as a punching bag."

McKay shot Sheppard a dirty look. "He didn't use me as a punching bag."

"Yes, he did," said Ronon.

"Maybe we should agree to his terms," suggested Teyla. "If they release us -"

Sheppard knew what Teyla was going for, but he also knew Lathos' type. He wasn't going to let them go until he got what he wanted from Atlantis, and then his 'letting them go' would probably land them in a ditch somewhere, face down.

"If we agree, we're only signing our death warrant."

Talking died off after that, and Sheppard was partially relieved. His back was killing him, his stomach ached, and he was trying to come up with an idea on how to get his team home.

Judging from the falling light outside the flap, night was approaching. The scheduled check-in was about four hours from now. Once they missed that, standard procedure was to try and make contact every two hours for no more than twelve hours before sending a search party, and a lot of commander's discretion on when to send the rescue party in that twelve-hour window.

Knowing Elizabeth, he didn't figure her to wait past the first two-hour mark. Especially not with all those maternal feelings lately over his condition. Ironic that the source of so much annoyance and misery might be the key to their quick rescue.

"Psssst, Sheppard," whispered McKay.

Sheppard wondered why Rodney was whispering. "What?" Despite wondering, he whispered back.

"I've been thinking, Ronon may have been on to something."

Sheppard thought back over their capture and events leading up to now, and cast a puzzled look Rodney's way. "When?"

"The virus," drawled Rodney irritably. "Keep up with me here. Did you see the look on those guards? Imagine if they really believed you were dying – they might want to stay away bad enough that they inadvertently leave room for us to sneak out of here."

"Maybe, but I'm not dying," retorted Sheppard.

And John wasn't what anyone could consider a good actor. Besides, with that witch woman accusing him of having a demon inside, they'd probably blame his throwing up on that, and let him slowly dehydrate till he did die.

"You don't think you could, you know, moan a bit more," suggested McKay. He looked over towards the spot where Teyla and Ronon were whispering about something on their own. "Maybe roll in pain, I've seen you do it often enough in the past month to give some tips if it's not realistic enough."

"How generous of you..." Sheppard mocked. "But if I'm right, we'll be out of here by morning."

McKay shifted uncomfortably. "About that," he started to say.

If Sheppard hadn't already felt sick, he would've now. "What, Rodney? What did you do?"

"IkindoftoldElizabethwewere'ntcheckingintonightbecauseyou'dbetired,"he rushed out.

Sheppard had been wrong. He could possibly feel sicker.

"Why would you do that?" he exploded.

Rodney glared daggers. "You didn't have any business going on a mission, Colonel. Do you really think you would've been up for the hike to the monastery twice in one day? Because if you did, you were seriously deluding yourself! Someone's got to watch out for you -"

"Rodney -" started Sheppard, but he never got to finish.

Lathos and two of his goons came barging in the tent. Ronon and Teyla made a jump for them, but the goons wielded a stun pistol that none of them had noticed before, and went down in quivering heaps of flesh.

Behind them crept Roma, peeking around Lathos' bulk. "That's the one," she whispered fearfully. "That's the one with the demon in his belly."

Lathos narrowed his gaze dangerously on Sheppard, and strode forward, kneeling in front of Sheppard and yanking up his shirt.

"Hey!" shouted McKay over the manhandling of Sheppard.

"Rodney, don't," warned John, knowing it would only end in the scientist being knocked unconscious or worse this time.

Lathos stared at Sheppard's stomach, and just then Junior rewarded everyone with a kick strong enough to slightly poke out the skin. Lathos jumped back. "It's true," he breathed.

Sheppard did a mental cringe, and muttered "traitor," to his stomach.

And all Rodney could do was add, "This isn't good."

"Take him!" ordered Lathos.

The goons hesitated more than they had before, when they'd thought him possibly carrying a lethal virus. Guess demon infestation trumps fatal virus on Baltar.

Lathos shoved the one nearest him, "Now Ados, take him to the trial tent, now!"

As Sheppard was dragged to his feet, he heard Lathos address McKay. "When your companions wake, inform them that your leader Sheppard is being tested at dawn for demons. If the Seer finds it to be true, and I've no doubt she will, your friend will die by nightfall tomorrow."

Lathos finished, and stormed out of the tent, following the goons that were hauling a fighting Sheppard.

McKay was left alone, with only the stunned unconscious Ronon and Teyla across the tent for company, and whispered forlornly to himself, "Oh, no."

TBC