Disclaimers:
Duck Dodgers, Space Cadet, Marvin the Martian, and all other related items/characters © Warner Brothers
The characters of John Dallas Whiskey, Michael Good, Young One, and Xanthia (Xi) are © me: T.C.
Lightsabers (can he copyright a weapon? Better safe than sorry) & the prospect of Jedis © George Lucas
(I put in an explanation to Dodgers's sudden intellect just for Looneyman)
Duck Dodgers' Saga
By Timon Constantine
Episode 5: Battle over Phoenix
As the first blasts hit Dodgers's shields, Dodgers took control and went into a barrel roll to his right. Bugs closely followed, laser blasts firing rapidly after Dodgers. The Cadet worked furiously at the controls.
"Remind me again why we don't have any bloody crew!" Dodgers shouted over the roar of the engine. The Cadet didn't hear, busy at work at keeping other ships at bay. Dodgers kept his ship near the planet of Phoenix without getting into its gravitational pull as best he could without also being shot down.
"P-p-p-p-perhaps if we went o-o-o-on the offensive, w-w-w-we could try and d-d-d-d-drive him away." The Cadet offered. Dodgers rolled this over in his head…
"Ah, it's worth a try!" Dodgers ordered, sending the ship into a barrel roll. Bugs flew straight, not performing any daring feats. As Dodgers shot back, a call came in from John Whiskey. Dodgers reluctantly patched it through.
"Bad timing, Johnny." Dodgers said through gritted teeth.
"I've been reading your past records, Dodgers. I got the impression you're exceedingly dumb. And yet I've witnessed cunning wit and intelligence." John said.
"Could we discuss this afterwards?"
"No, Dodgers, you will answer me now."
"Look, I admit I was lazy in my early years. But recently I saw that I hadn't really made much of myself. I was disgusted by the bumbling idiot walking around. So I became serious and began to educate myself to become a better civilian. Some frown at me for I am not as 'funny' as I was and therefore sort of 'out of character', you might say. But overall, it is my life and my decisions. I've always felt like some entity or entities were making me act like such an idiotic dolt. But now, I feel as if another entity has 'burrowed' me and allowed me to make a much more better being of myself. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of a space dogfight." With that, Dodgers cut off the communication and dived straight for Bugs's ship.
Young One strolled from his small hut to look up at the starry sky. He had sensed some sort of battle happening out there in space. He did not own a space traveling vehicle so could not investigate personally. However, he could use the Force to investigate through his senses and mind.
Bugs had the ship dodge Dodgers's ship with a nose dive towards the planet. He then had it pull up and shoot off some homing rockets. Dodgers managed to shoot some down, but one blew up too close and caused a temporary failure of controls.
"Alright, Cadet, I want a landing on Phoenix one way or another! Which way seems more probable to you?" Dodgers shouted out.
W-w-well, it seems l-l-l-l-likely that we will c-c-c-crash on the s-s-s-surface." The Cadet stuttered out.
"Fair enough. Take her down!" Dodgers ordered.
Bugs Bunny smiled victoriously as he saw Dodgers's ship take a nose dive towards the planet with much smoke billowing forth from its sides.
"There, inform Lord Michael Good of Dodger's death, and then head back to the moon around Earth. As part of our deal, he'll have Earth soon enough." Bugs ordered.
Duck Dodgers and the Cadet limped from the wreckage, breathing heavily as they slumped to the ground a few yards off.
"Quite impressive." Young One said nonchalantly from a tree.
"Oi, are you the…?" Dodgers said weakly.
"Young One? Aye, I am he."
"How'd…"
"Xanthia communicated with me as well."
"Who the hell is she?"
"Xanthia, I just told you. If you ask of her history, well… I'm afraid that's a tale for another time. Rest for now. When dawn breaks, I'll wake you for your training."