Here's to Us

Chapter Eight:- When I think about Leaving

Note- This is chptr is a songfic in Jimmy's POV I think it fits perfectly with how he's been feeling the past few days. I know it's supposidly illegal but I had to put it in

You know sometimes me and my lady have these crazy fights
And when we do, it makes me wonder if we're even gonna get it right

Fighting with Cindy is like playing with fire, you get burned no matter how careful you are. How could she not want to talk to me? How could she think that? Sometimes after these fights I just have to stop and wonder if we're ever going to make this work or if I should just get up and walk away like she did.

When I think about leaving, I think about me
What my life would be like if I were back to being free
Go where I wanna go, do what I wanna do
I wouldn't have a soul I'd have to answer to
When I think about leaving I think about me

When I do think about getting up and walking away forever, I end up thinking about what I'd do. I'd be free to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I wouldn't have to listen to anybody or anything in the world. Then I start wondering... would I really want to do anything I haven't already done?

You know I've got a friend and him and his wife just couldn't see eye to eye
He had all he could stand one day and just packed up and said "goodbye"

Then I think about Joe. He divorced his wife and he's not doing to bad himself, he's got a good job working by my side and well...

When I think about leaving I think about him
And that little apartment 'cross town he's living in
Got an old Corvette got a new girlfriend but he only sees his kids every other weekend
When I think about leaving, oh I think about him

Maybe it's not so great. Sure he's got a car and a new girl but... He's living in a small apartment and he doesn't see his kids often. I couldn't live without seeing my kids every day. Once a week isn't enough for me and if I left, chances are she'd want custody. There'd be no way I'd be able to live like he does.

I never will forget her face on the day she told me about her dad
How he walked out on her mom when she was just a kid

Then my thoughts travel to her. Cindy, the love of my life. Her father walked out on her and hurt her bad. Would she be able to deal with another walk away in her life? I didn't want to be the man who caused that look on her face again. I'll never forget that crying look.

When I think about leaving, oh I think about her
Only five years old and her heart filled up with hurt
With her little arms wrapped around his neck
Saying "Daddy where you goin'? Are you comin' back?"
When I think about leaving, oh I think about her

I can picture how she looked back then. So young and already feeling so much pain just waiting for her father to come back. Would she miss me if I walked out like he did? Would my children look at me like that and hate me when they got older like she did. I don't want to cause her that kind of pain.

You know the truth is most of the time things are really great
And I know we've got something special

We've built up our love over the years and it's too strong to come crashing down like this, too special. Most of the time I wouldn't trade it for anything.

When I think about leaving, I think about us
How we're building this love we share on faith and trust
The honest way we talk, the tender way we touch
All those nights we spent makin' love
When I think about leaving, oh I think about us

Our love is something that you don't come across too often. We're still working on it in small ways but that's just how it is. I know I don't want to tear it down by leaving her alone. We still love each other no matter what comes out of our mouths sometimes. Most of the time we are honest but even when we're not, we still know why and care. There's no way I could end it.

When I think about leaving, oh I think again
Even though that thought crosses my mind every now and then
In my heart I know I would never leave
There's nowhere else on earth that I would rather be
When I think about leaving, I think again

No way would I leave. I don't care how many times it crosses my mind. I'll never leave her I love her too much to do that, to her or our children. How could I? I might walk out the door a few times but I know in my heart that I'd turn right back around within seconds. If I was free and was able to do anything or be anywhere, I'd want to be right here with her, not with anyone else.

When I think about leaving
When I think about leaving
When I think about leaving, I think again

I'm going upstairs to talk to her. I won't let anything happen. She's not leaving and neither am I.