The Window To Your Soul
Summary: Summer goes through a trauma and she needs help. Freddy is the only one that can give that help to her.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that does not belong to me.
A/N: To my reviewers:
Cupid's Bride - Yeah, Freddy's pretty special. And thank you!
Talon05 - Thanks for your input, I appreciate it.
Vampirehelsing - Thanks, here it is!
Sorry it's been so long. I've been meaning to update, but I just never have…oops.
Also, I moved it back to T because…well because I wanted to. : )
I like this chapter, and I hope you will too.
Chapter 5: The Help She Needs
The next day Freddy wandered up to Summer's room at about 11 a.m. The night before Freddy told Katie and Carmen all about Dr. Hutchenson and his plans for Summer. They could not have been happier. It had gotten their hopes up, and Freddy was still in that same good mood.
"Good morning beautiful." He said as he opened the door. Summer was standing by her closet putting on a bra. Freddy froze for a second when he realized he had just walked in on her changing. Then practically ran back through the door and shut it behind him. A few moments later Summer opened the door, fully dressed, and immediately Freddy started apologizing.
"Summer, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to walk in on you like that. I should have knocked. God, I am so stupid. I completely understand if you hate me and never want to speak to me again. I think I'll just go now, you probably don't even want to look at me." He started to turn to leave but Summer grabbed his hand and as he turned around she giggled. This of course only made him more confused. She couldn't help but think it was incredibly cute how bad he felt. This was FREDDY JONES. He shouldn't feel embarrassed about seeing her like that. There were rumors going around the school that he had slept with at least four girls this year, which he was neither confirming nor denying.
Summer led him into her room and they sat down. Freddy talked for a while, about nothing in particular. He had just finished his story about something that happened on Viva La Bam the day before when he paused for nearly a minute – the longest period of silence since he came into the room – and just stared into her eyes. When he started talking again his mood had completely changed.
"You know, I've never told anyone about why I don't like my mom, but just now something in my head told me that you can know, It told me that I can trust you with anything. Summer, you're my manager and more importantly one of my best friends on the planet; you have the right to know." By this point Summer was looking at him with interest, waiting for him to continue, "Well it's just that when I was little my mom would always be out at parties until past midnight. So by the time I was six, I could cook and look after myself. I always had to tuck MYSELF in at night. That kind of stuff is important to little kids you know?" Summer nodded, but Freddy barely noticed, "I was never EVER held as a baby, and to this day, my mom still has not even given me as much as a hug. I didn't even know what the word 'love' meant until I was twelve, much less heard it directed at me from my mom." Freddy unexpectedly let out a hollow laugh, "You know, now that I'm really saying all this out loud, it sounds really stupid. I'm making a huge deal out of nothing. I'm being worse then Eleni. I'm such a retard."
"It's not stupid and you are not a retard. Everyone deserves to be loved."
"I guess so. Wait…you're TALKING!"
Summer laughed nervously and even blushed a little, "I- I guess so."
"This is great! Hold on, I've got to go tell Dr. Hutchenson or Carmen or Katie or SOMEBODY!" Freddy exclaimed. He was positively ecstatic.
"NO!" Summer shouted in panic, then her voice put on a more pleading nature, "please don't. "
"Why not?" Freddy asked completely confused.
"I'm not ready; I'm not ready to talk to Dr. Hutchenson. I'm not ready for all his questions. When he finds out I'm talking again he's going to want me to talk to him. And – just please, don't tell anyone."
"Yeah, sure Summer, your secret is safe with me." He said and smiled, "but if you don't want to talk to Dr. Hutchenson about it, will you talk to me?"
"Yeah, I think I can do that." She said and smiled a small half smile.
"Good"
"Oh and Freddy, about earlier, when you walked in on me," Freddy blushed, "I don't hate you for it. I'm not even mad at you. It was an accident. Besides you didn't even see much. Right?"
"Just some of your back." He said and blushed an even deeper shade or red.
"Most guys our age would probably be happy they saw what they saw and wish they had seen more. But you, you seem genuinely sorry, and quite a bit embarrassed. I never thought I'd see the infamous Freddy Jones blush so much."
"Do you want to know the truth Summer?"
"Yes, of course."
"I respect you. I know that you would never, or at least for a few years, voluntarily let a guy see you like that. That is hard to come across in a girl these days, believe me, I KNOW. I respect your privacy. True, I would probably doing exactly what you just described if it were any other girl but you, which I guess in your eyes makes me and asshole, but you, you're something totally different. I care about you, but not in the same way I care about Katie or Marta. You are…. I don't really know. I'm not sure I understand it myself."
Summer was speechless, she knew what he was trying to say when he said he felt different about her than he did Katie or Marta, and when she opened her mouth to try to form words she was cut off by Freddy.
"I'm sorry, I was totally rambling. You don't have to say anything."
"Okay, I won't." She said as she leaned in and kissed him ever so softly. Just a couple of seconds later they pulled back. "Would it be totally cheesy to say that I definitely felt the fireworks?"
"No, I felt them too." Freddy said in awe.
After nearly thirty seconds of just staring into each other's eyes they heard the front door open downstairs.
"Who is that?" Summer asked.
"I don't know. I'll go check." Freddy said and left, leaving Summer alone with her thoughts.
As he got to the bottom of the stairs Freddy saw Carmen rummaging though the refrigerator.
"Hey Freddy."
"Hey Carmen. What are you doing here?" He asked slightly confused.
"I decided to have lunch here today."
"Cool. Hey, we should have a picnic up in Summer's room if it's okay with the both of you."
"That sounds like a great idea. I'll make us some sandwiches and you can go ask Summer if she's okay with it. Okay?"
"You got it." Freddy said as he left the kitchen.
Meanwhile, in Summer's room
"Wow. Freddy Jones and I just kissed. This is totally unexpected. Sure I dreamt about it for years, but I never thought it would ever really happen. I can't get it through my head that he likes me the same way that I like him. Oh my God. Katie. She's going to be SO mad at me. She knows that I know she likes him too; she's going to think I'm going behind her back. Of course I never told her how I felt about Freddy; I never thought anything would ever come of it, oh God oh God." Summer thought to herself, but she was interrupted by Freddy coming into her room.
"Hey Summer. That was Carmen, she decided to have lunch her today. We thought of maybe having a picnic up here. What do you think?"
"Yeah that sounds good. You didn't tell her that I'm, you know, talking right?"
"No, I told you your secret is safe with me. I'll never tell as long as you don't want me to. You have my word."
"Yeah I know, I can trust you."
"Good" Freddy said with a satisfied smile.
At that moment Carmen came up with a plate of sandwiches, some drinks, and a red and white picnic blanket.
"I knew this blanket would come in handy SOMEday." Carmen said cheerfully.
"Ooo…what kind of sandwiches do you have?" Freddy said hungrily.
"I have bologna for Summer, Turkey for myself, and two peanut butter and jelly for you."
"Yess!" he said as the three of them dug in.
Soon they were done eating and Carmen asked Freddy to help her down in the kitchen. When they got downstairs she started washing dishes in the sink.
"Listen Freddy, I know that Summer is talking again. At least to you she is."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't make excuses and DON'T lie to me. I heard you two talking earlier, although I didn't hear what you were saying. I didn't say anything because I wanted to know if she wanted to talk to me too. If she did I suppose she would have said SOMETHING, but I guess she doesn't. And I respect that. She'll talk to me, and everyone else, when she's ready. As long as she's talking to SOMEONE I know she's getting better."
"So you're not going to like pressure her into talking to you?"
"Am I really the kind of person that would do that?"
"Well…no."
"Okay then, now run along and tell her I know."
"Okay. Bye Carmen." He said and left the room to go talk to Summer.
"What was that about? Carmen never asks for help." Summer said as Freddy stepped into her room.
"She knows. But don't worry; she's okay with you not talking to her as long as you keep talking to me. She says that you're getting better because now at least you are talking to me."
"Okay, hey um Freddy can we talk now?" She asked a little unsurely.
"Yeah, sure. About the accident?"
"Yeah" Summer want sure about how to ease into what she was going to say, so she just let if fall right off her tongue, "I just don't know how I'm going to get through these next few years. Up until the accident I thought people who say they just cant get over things were just being dramatic. But now, now I know exactly how they feel. I know that a year from now I am going to feel the same way. I know its not going to get easier. I know it!" Summer paused for a moment to regain her composure, "Freddy, what am I going to do?" She sounded so scared, "Where am I going to live? Who is going to care for me? Where am I going to get money? Am I going to have to go move in with my dad in Maryland? Is he even going to want me? Am I going to have to go to an orphanage? Or a foster home? I just don't know anything anymore. But God, I just miss her so much. I wish I could just see her, talk to her just one last time. Tell her how much I miss her and love her.
"She used to get the Wall Street Journal you know. Every morning when I would come downstairs she would be sitting at the kitchen table writing down numbers that mean who knows what, in a notebook she kept. She tried to explain it to me a couple of times. I consider myself pretty smart, but I could just never get it. It made me realize how smart she really was. Now, I know that the rest of her notebook will always be empty. She'll never finish whatever it was that she was doing." Summer had to stop talking due to a violent sob. Freddy took the opportunity to wrap his arms around her and just let her cry on his shoulder.
"I don't really know if this is going to help you feel any better or not, but a couple of years ago my grandpa died. My grandma was completely devastated. Over a year later she would still cry almost daily. One day, about a year and a half after his death I was at my grandma's house for the day. For about three days the kitchen faucet had been leaking pretty badly. She told me that the night before she couldn't get it to slow down at all, so she called out loud to my grandpa, 'Sugar, I need you, I cant get it to slow down.' And just like magic, the leaked stopped almost completely. She insists that even though he's dead, he is not gone completely. He still looks after her. I think your mom will do the same thing for you. I think she IS doing the same thing for you. I could have sworn I felt someone staring at me, glaring at me, during that little kiss earlier." Freddy paused as Summer let out a small chuckle, "As for how you will get through the next few years, I'll be here, whenever you need me. Or even just someone to talk to, you can count on me. I'll help you through it."
A/N: Aww…wasn't that sweet? Anyway, yeah as I said earlier, I liked this chapter, but there were a couple things I wasn't really too sure about. So tell me what you thought of it! Please?
-duck