Chapter Two: Havoc's Job and Military Surplus

Damn! Havoc thought to himself. He was trying to reach the top of one of the windows he was cleaning, but it was hard. Number one: the ladder was to short. Number two: he hated to admit it., but he was to damn short! Why isn't Hawkeye out here? Oh yeah. She went to get PAINT with the Colonel. I'll just bet they're out there somewhere making out! At that thought Havoc was knocked from the ladder again. This time by Lieutenant Fury.

"DAMNIT!" Havoc cried as he fell for the second time.

"Will you hurry up already!" He yelled.

"Sure." Havoc said from his position on the ground. He lay there with one leg pointed to the left and one arm to the right. It looked as if his teeth had been knocked out on his way down. On top of that his LIT cigarette had come out of his mouth on his way down and was now heading straight for his forehead. "AHHHHHHHH!" He screamed as it burnt a small area on his forehead. "May God have mercy!" He cried. This time he felt a bullet graze his ear.

"GET TO WORK!" Hawkeye ordered putting in a fresh clip. She'd obviously been after Roy again with it.

"I AM!" He cried sitting up and crying rivers anime style. "WHY ME LORD? WHY ME?" He cried. Another bullet flew past and nearly grazed his nose. He could feel the wind from it, which caused him to cry louder.

"You're hopeless!" She cried beaming her pistol off his head. The colonel had the buckets of paint.

"Lieutenant!" He yelled at her. He ducked after another pistol was aimed at his head. What did I get myself into! He asked himself.

"Move it!" She ordered taking one of the paint buckets that had been piled by Havoc's ladder. In her other hand she held one of her retrieved pistols. The other was in its' holster. Havoc was back up the ladder cleaning the windows meticulously. "That's what I thought!" She smiled and walked up to the office.

"Lieutenant!" They cried standing at attention.

"Down boys. I just want to know what you have accomplished while the Colonel and I went to get paint."

"Well, I finished dusting for cobwebs and was about to start on the floor." Fury said. She nodded happily.

"We finished with the cleaning of office supplies." Breda said.

"Good. That's good. Now if only the Colonel would get up here with the rest of the paint I'd be happy."

"I can't carry all the paint you want me to carry! There are seven buckets left! You only carried up one thank-you."

"What was that?" She asked positioning a pistol in his face.

"Nothing Lieutenant." He bowed and walk/shuffled out the door. The others sniggered at the Colonel's submission to someone below him.

"Alright. Once Fury finishes with the floors we are going to start painting the trim and walls. Breada; Falman I need the blue tape out in the Colonel's car. It's to mark off the trim and molding. That is to be painted white. The walls are going to be a blue color and the ceiling is to be blue too. It matches the tile floor." The boys hopped to their jobs and ran to do them. Fury swept the floor and got his mop to mop it.

"Will this be alright?" He asked the Lieutenant. She watched as he deck scrubbed.

"No. Get down on your knees with a scrub brush like this." She got down on her knees after taking off her military overcoat and proceeded to show him how to SCRUB a floor. He watched in aw as she showed him with her hands over his just how to PROPERLY scrub the floor. In a spur of the moment fit of humor he tossed some of the suds at her. They landed in her hair. "FURY!" She yelled taking an armful and throwing them at him. Half disappeared before they reached him, but now the fight was on. Havoc watched from the window as they fought. Suddenly behind them bounded Black Hayate; straight for the suds bucket. Hawkeye dove for him and ended up with hot soapy water all over her. Breda, Falman, Fury, Mustang, and Havoc were all laughing as Black Hayate licked his master's face of soapy suds.

"Looks like you needed a bath Riza." Mustang said laughing maliciously.

"Colonel!" She pulled her pistol out and pointed it as him. He clutched his stomach in his fit of laughter and didn't notice. Hawkeye looked at he current situation and decided that she looked rather mused. The Colonel was right. In his own way. She herself burst into laughter over what had happened. Her pistol fell to the ground without another thought. The others stared wide eyed at the way the Lieutenant was taking what the Colonel had just said to her.

"Are you ok Lieutenant?" Havoc called from a now opened window. Hawkeye's head snapped up and she glared at him.

"GET BACK TO WORK!" She yelled for the second time that day. Havoc fell from the ladder for the third time; kicking and screaming all the way down.

"AHHHH. It burns!" He cried. The others' ran to the window to see what exactly was wrong. Havoc; not remembering that he had an UNLIT cigarette in his mouth, thought it was lit and was screaming the same as he had before. "Oh Please. NO!" He screamed like a little girl.

"I'm going to count to three. If you do not have your shiny, white, behind up that ladder in that amount of time I will shoot your cigarettes FULL of holes and lead pellets. IS THAT CLEAR!" Hawkeye glared angrily at him. "ONE!" Havoc jumped up and was running up the ladder when she said two; was at the top when she said three.. and over when she pulled her gun back out. They heard him scream like a girl again when he fell. Hawkeye fell backwards rolling on the floor and laughing. "Oh!" She cried trying to catch her breath. "AHHAHAHAHA!" Mustang looked at her weird.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"He actually protected his damn cigarettes like they were the bible Colonel! Give the man credit alright! I wasn't going to shoot his cigarettes!" She clutched at her sides, making everyone notice, how…voluptuous she really was.

"Solider!" He yelled at her trying not to look at her too much.

"Colonel Sir. Sorry sir." She sat up still giggling like a mad woman.

"At ease. And someone please get me a damn chair!" He hollered.

"And clean up this mess!"

"Yes sir! Yes Lieutenant!" They responded bounding into action.

"We make a pretty good team." She said to him once they had run out the door.

"Yeah. Yeah I know." He responded extending his hand to help her up off the floor.

"Well, Sir, if you'll excuse me… I think I'll go get freshened up a little bit. I'll be in the restroom if you need anything."

"Alright Soldier. Clean away." He saluted her half heartedly and she just smiled walking down the hallway to the restroom. "We make a hell of a good team First Lieutenant. You just don't see it the way I do." He said to himself.

A/N: And so the chappie closes! LOL. I dunno about this one. I was soooo cruel to Jean Havoc! I feel so bad! …ALL DONE NOW! It was fun making fun of him and his cigarettes! LOL. Please R&R!