Never say never
note text in bold means memory
It was the beginning of my new life and the end of the life I once lived, 3 months ago. I hate San Diego, it's too hot and the people are too stuck up. I liked the Cape Better, much better actually. I had friends there.
I didn't expect too much from today, I'm the new girl, people tend to shun new people in High School, especially girls like me.
I'm too perfect for here, at least that's what the other girls think. The echos of "Who does she think she is wearing Abercrombie like that?" and "She's from the east coast, east coasters are snobs. She's probably too smart from here." are still running through my head. It sucks everytime I hear something like that.
I tried out for soccer, I made the team but decided it wouldn't be the best thing, considering I'm a freshman who made Varsity. I guess that never happens here, because people started talking. So much for not drawing attention to myself.
The upside to San Diego is that there a more cute guys. There's a guy in my English class, his name's Drake or something. He's pretty cute, I hear he has a band. He's popular, so I don't think I stand a chance.
I Knew it was a mistake to wear what I did. Denim mini, white polo shirt with a striped Abercrombie vest. Too many girls sneered because, "I was better dressed then they could ever be." Girls can be so cruel when they want to be.
It's already the first day and rumors about my sex life are going around. In the bathroom I was greeted with uninviting faces as they whispered, "She's had sex with so many guys back home. She's basically a slut." to each other, glaring at me all the while. I hate girls like that, they don't know that I'm a virgin and now that they've said shit like that it'll probably hold true until I leave here.
It probably doesn't help much that I'm 'perfect' as everyone says, I don't think I am. I don't think you can define perfection, but I suppose that here in California, I define perfect. 5'6'', 115 lbs., blonde hair, brown eyes, atheletic, smart, and rich. I definatly don't think I'm perfect, there's way to much I'd change about myself.
I'm dreading comming back tommorrow. I'll make sure never to wear Abercrombie like that again. I'll just wear my old jeans, converse, and a tee-shirt. It'll draw less attention.
The alarm clock went off, Drake moaned, he never liked getting up in the morning. He searched for the snooze button, he didn't need to shower.
Josh had been up since 4, he didn't sleep well the night before. He could of sworn he heard Megan in his room. Josh had investigated everything he could possibly think of for booby traps, but to his demise, he found none.
Josh had never known Megan like Drake had. Drake swore that she used to be such a sweet kid, but after the death of their father 8 years ago, she'd changed. Drake chalked it up to how she dealt with her pain, he let her do it, she at least had a way to deal with it, he didn't. He'd spent the better part of Middle school in and out of phychiatrist wards. They never helped him much, they were all phonies to him. Their advice was alway the same, and no he never did want to talk about it. Guitar was Drake's way of talking about it.
He'd stumbled across the old Fender acoustic when he was 10. His mom was selling all of Dad's old things and he saw the guitar out on the bed. He remembered when he was little sitting on the very bed listening to his dad play songs for him.
"Daddy play my favorite song." Drake would beg.
"What's that one agian?" His dad would joke.
"You know which one." Drake would say.
His dad would laugh and pat him on the head. He'd play a few chords then purposely sing the wrong song.
"Daddy, that's not the right song." Drake would say as his dad stopped playing. His dad would laugh.
"Sorry kiddo, I'll play the right one this time." His dad would say, a smile across his face.
Drake missed his dad. He'd never saw Megan grow up, she was only a few years old when he died and he never saw his son become the musician he is. Drake still played that guitar, feeling closer to his dad each time he played it.
"Daddy can you teach me how to play?" Drake asked one day when he was 7.
"Sure thing kiddo." His dad replied, he never got around to it though. He was diagnosed with cancer a few months later, never having the strength to teach his son, let alone play himself.
It was now 6:45 and Drake was still in bed.
"Drake, get up, you're going to be late for school." Josh bellowed as he shook his brother.
"Who cares if I'm late anway?" Drake questioned trying to push Josh off him.
"Mom." was all Josh had to say to get Drake up.
Drake threw on a pair of jeans and a red tee-shirt. He slipped on his black chucks and fixed his hair. He grabbed his guitar along with his backpack and walked downstairs.
He grabbed an orange juice out of the fridge and a granola bar off the counter.
"Hurry up, the Josh mobile leaves in 5 seconds." Josh said a goofy smile on his face.
"How many times have I told you not to say that?" Drake asked. "It's uncool."
"I'm going to keep saying it until you hurry your butt up." Josh stated as he walked out the front door, followed shortly by Drake.
The car ride was silent. Drake hadn't exactly forgiven Josh for what he'd done. Josh on the other hand couldn't think of anything to say to Drake. He was worried about him, something was different and he couldn't put his finger on it. That pissed him off.
Drake shoved his books into his locker. He didn't bother to make it look nice, it's not like he really cared anyway. He had a free period before lunch. -It's nice to be Junior he thought-
Instead of taking the time to study like most students did, Drake used it to sit in the courtyard underneath a tree and play guitar. A group of Sophomore girls were watching him, giggling and daring one another to go up and talk to him. They wanted to see if he'd take Sophie, a tall, slender brunette, to Homecomming.
Homecomming was a week away. Drake didn't usually make plans to go to dances. He disliked them, the music sucked, and they were always lame. He'd gone to homecomming last year with a Junior who'd taken a fancy to him. He'd only gone because she was an older girl who put out way to much.
Sophie walked over to him, blushing furiously the whole time. He didn't even look up from his guitar when she called his name.
"Drake?" She questioned again. She was like an annoying bug that wouldn't go away.
"Yeah?" Drake asked, he wanted to get this over with.
"Would you like to go to homecomming with me?"
"I'm sorry I already have a date." He lied, he planned on asking Claire, that was if she wanted to go. Sophie looked dissapointed and quickly walked away. -Mission accomplished- he joked.
Drake was working on a new song. It wasn't about anything in particular, just kind of about life. He'd been thinking too much about his childhood lately, wondering what it was all about. He'd been thinking about his dad a lot lately and he wondered if it was just the fact that his missed him more than he used to. The last time he'd felt this way was when his Mom married Walter. It wasn't that Drake didn't like Walter, it was he couldn't ever replace his dad.
Lunch was in a few minutes and Drake couldn't help but wonder if Claire was going to sit with him. He wanted her to, but he knew it was a slim chance. Claire was nice in all, but Drake felt that he'd been to cruel to her for her to ever notice him in more than just a jerk way. He sighed, life had a funny way of doing crap like that to him. He never could quite hold on to what good things he had going for him. Torey crossed his mind, he'd lost not once, but twice, the only girl he ever cared deeply about in his lifetime, the first girl he'd ever gone steady with. He didn't want that to happen with Claire.
Claire saw him sitting there under the tree with the red fender. She smiled, he looked so humble sitting there with the guitar, for once he looked sort of human. She sat down next to him, quiet so she wouldn't disturb whatever chain of thought he was so evidently deep in.
He knew she was there, he'd felt her pressence when she sat down. He knew from the way she'd kept quiet that it was her. She was the only girl kind enough to do that, then again she was the only person in general to do that.
"Hey Claire." Drake said placing his guitar back in the bag.
"Hey." She returned as she twisted a few strands of her hair around her fingers.
"How's it going?" He questioned. Partially knowing the answer. People were talking about the party, mostly Trevor. They knew about him and Claire, or at least they thought they did.
"People are talking Drake." Claire stated, clearly hurt by it all.
"Let them. They don't know what happened."
She took that statement in. How could he be so calm about this, they were talking about him too. His reputation was at stake. If people really did think he'd had sex with Claire, it was a sure path to the road of un-popularity.
"Drake, you're reputation is at stake." Claire informed him, but he'd already know that the moment he called her name at that party.
"I don't care about that anymore. Claire I care about you." Drake slipped. It was true, he didn't care anymore and it was also true that he liked Claire, he really liked her.
"What?" was her only response. It was hit after hit with this boy.
"I care about you. I realized that I liked you the other night. No one, I mean no one's ever done somthing like that for me." he expressed. Claire was at a loss for words. Here she was starring this complete stranger in the eyes, captivated by every word that had just came out of his mouth. This boy who was the epitome of cool had just done a 180 and thrown away what he had going for him all in about 3 seconds.
"Are you seirous?" Claire asked, shocked that this was reality.
"Yeah, dead. Claire I want nothing more than to be with you. I want to save you like you saved me." he said not believing the words that just came out of his mouth. She sat there like a deer caught in the headlights, her brown eyes wide.
The leaves in the tree above rustled softly in the light wind. -The perfect day to change- Drake thought. He didn't seem to notice the crowd that had gathered to see who the new girl was sitting with Drake. He was that popular, everyone had to know who he was with, everyone including Jackie Robinson. She had staked Drake as her's two years ago, never once getting him. She made it her point in life to sabotage every relationship he ever had, each one backfiring on her. This time the girl he was with crossed the line. She could stand him dating other popular girls, but not Claire, definatly not Claire.
She wathced in angst as the two laughed and discreetly held each others hand. She nearly threw up. This had to stop, immediatly. She ran into the girls bathroom her friend and henchman, Sherri by her side.
"He's dating that slut Johnson." Jackie crooned to her BFF, Sherri.
"I don't see why not, she's perfect." Sherri said, she was dumb and easily swayed. Jackie'd just dump her off and get a new friend just as easily, but no one could quite compare to Sherri. Sherri was stupid, and stupidity was an asset to Jackie.
"I know shut up. I need to find out as much dirt as I can about Claire. Every goody two shoes has a secret, and dirty ones at that. Claire's has a brother, that's my weapon." Jackie assured herself. She knew that getting close to Charlie would get her even closer to Claire, and once she had Claire taken care of, Drake was all hers. She laughed to herself, she was good, too good.
"So Saturday 6:30 I'll pick you up okay?" Drake told Claire as he dropped her off at her house after school.
"Yep." Claire replied.
"Okay I'll see you then." Drake said as he kissed her on the cheek, even though he'd rather have gone for something a little more, he didn't want to rush this one. Something about Claire made him want to be all cute and romantic, it kind of scared him. He walked home taking in everything for the first time as he did so.
Josh and Mindy were making out on the couch when he walked in. He didn't mind, there was something else he had to do.
Drake walked down the hall. He stopped in front of the purple door that lead to Megans room. He knocked finding that it wasn't closed all the way. Megan was sitting on her bed a gigantic book across her lap. He placed his bags down next to her bed and sat down next to his little sister, who barely noticed his existance, except for the fact he was in such close proximity to her.
"Go away boob." Megan said callously to Drake.
"Hey." Drake relplied, he hadn't said anything to Megan.
"Don't you have to go to do something?" She questioned, annoyed that he was still next to her.
"Not yet. Megan remember when you were little and I used to sing to you?" Drake asked. When she was born he was excited at the idea of a little sister. He was 5 years old then. When Megan would cry he'd go into her room, stand right next to her crib and sing his favorite song to her. Their parents right outside the doorway elated at the thought of their two perfect kids.
"If I say yes will you go away?" She questioned. Megan didn't want to talk to Drake about their childhood, or anything else concerning family, which involved emotion. Megan learned at a young age to hide her emotion like Drake did. She was too young to remember a lot about her dad, but what she did remember hurt her too much to think about.
"Megan I just want to say I miss that. I miss when it was just you me and mom. I miss how you used to crawl into bed with me because you thought there were monsters in your closet." Drake said. Megan turned away, she didn't want him to see her this close to crying.
"Drake, I miss it too." she admited softly. She was crying now. "You're lucky that you got to know daddy." She'd said what she had been wanting to say for a long time. "I hate how you remember so much about him. All that I can remember is this one time, and I don't even know if it really happened or if it was just a dream." Megan cried. Drake felt guilty. He had known his father far longer then Megan had. She wasn't even in pre-school when he died. She was only four, how much could she remember.
"What was it?" Drake asked as he put an arm around his sister.
"We were at grandma's, not mom's mom, but dad's. It was snowing out. I don't know why it was snowing but it was. We were sledding. They had a red sled and I watched as you and dad kept going down the hill in it. You were both laughing and I wanted to go too but mom wouldn't let me. I cried so Mom took me inside. You and Dad came in later and you were both laughing. We then sat on a couch later and I told Dad that I wanted to go sledding with you guys. He felt bad and he let me have hot chocolate, which you didn't get because you got sick." Megan recalled the story, tears flowing.
Drake noticed that the book she'd been looking at was an old photo album. A picture of the four of them at the park was taken out.
Drake remembered that day vividly. Megan was three and he was 8. He smiled at the memory. His Dad was sick then, it was the last day they'd ever spent together as a family. That was back when Drake was still innocent. He remembered his Mom and Dad sitting there holding hands, he didn't know why they were crying but he was 8 and it didn't faze him much. Besides he was too busy pushing all the girls in mud. Even at that young age girls threw themselves at him. His Dad always used to say, "You're a charmer Drake, a real Charmer."
Drake wasn't afraid to cry now, if Megan could do it he could too. He let a few tears silently fall. He hugged Megan close to him, she didn't mind. It was times like this where she was glad to have Drake as a brother. She loved him, even if she didn't always show it. Both were glad to have one another, it wasn't like they could cry on Josh's shoulder, he would never understand.
"Megan, you know I love you right?" Drake asked as he gently kissed his sisters head.
"I know, I love you too Drake." Megan whispered as she held on tighter to her brother. She liked these moments with him, these moments were rare. One of the only reasons she did what she did to him, was because she felt like she was losing the only person she loved more than her mom. To her it was like losing the father she never knew. "Drake promise you won't ever leave me?" Megan pleaded.
"I won't." he replied letting go of her.
She was content now and so was he. To know that they were on the same page, emotionally with one another was comforting. The age difference between them was so large sometimes and Drake realized that. He knew that Megan felt like she was losing him sometimes, he felt that way with her too. Most of the time it wasn't like they were brother and sister, it was like they were enimies co-existing in the same house.
"You can leave now." Megan stated turning cold again.
Drake picked up his bags and left for his room. Josh and Mindy were still downstairs, he could be alone now, which was what he needed most.