Dancing in the Moonlight
-Everything's changing and I don't understand any of it. Look at me, I'm keeping a journal for crying out loud. I know Josh has one, but that's irrelevent. I'm so fucked up lately I don't know what to do, it's like I'm happy, I'm so happy, that it makes me depressed. I have Claire, she's mine, I think I love her and that scares the shit out of me. I've never felt this way about any other girl before, I'm so scared that I'll lose her. I keep having these thought's about my Dad. They're the thoughts you don't want to think, the ones that find a way into your head and never get out again. I miss him, a lot. I miss him now more than I ever did before. I wonder if Mom misses him... I really do. Why is she so strong? She always was, same with Megan. Why am I so weak? Why can't I push foward? I'm sick of this chirade that I've made myself, this warped bubble. I'm like everyone's pet, I'm sick of it. The whole town is watching me, waiting for the day I screw up. Well I've fucking screwed up alright! I've screwed everything up, my life, my friends, my family. I'd rather just give it all up now, I don't need school, I've goe my music and Claire, and that's enough to keep me satisfied.
Peace out - Drake.
Drake shoved the journal into his guitar case, no one would bother looking there. What had he gotten himself into. To think, that one stupid party could change his whole life forever. That one girl could make him forget what he used to be and make him feel the way he felt.
People were beginning to notice the change, especially Josh. Josh had grown more reclusive toward Drake. Barely talking to him. It was like Drake had become someone new, someone Josh didn't know. Drake was like a tempermental two year old. Josh couldn't being to say something to him without it comming out wrong. He hated that.
Tonight was homecomming, Drake had gone to the football game that afternoon. He'd taken Claire, it was his first time going to a football game. He never enjoyed it when people recognized him. Josh and Mindy had sat next to him and Claire. Drake didn't know that Mindy knew Claire, then again, he didn't know a lot about Mindy and he prefered it stayed that way. He only tolerated her because Josh loved her and Josh was his brother, he couldn't just diss his girlfriend.
Drake thumbed through the guitar world magazine on his bed. The dance was in a few hours, he'd taken a shower right after the game, Josh was in it now. Drake had started to notice a difference in Josh, maybe it was the fact that he was beginning to grow apart from Josh, the rocky friendship they'd built was falling apart. It was as though every brick Drake put up around him, another one fell from their friendship. The merely co-existed now. Sharing the same room, the same house, the same parents.
Josh waltzed into the room towel around his waist. Drake was surprized at how much weight he'd lost over the past year. Drake noticed his slimming frame when he started dating Mindy. Josh had felt good about himself when Mindy liked him, he started working out bit by bit, losing weight. Drake was happy for him.
"Aren't you going to get ready?" Josh asked as he pulled on a pair of boxers.
"I will, don't worry about it." Drake replied hopping down from the bed. Josh put on his black dress pants, the pink shirt that was to match Mindys dress. He put on the matching pink and white stripped tie and the jacket. He looked good, even though he was wearing pink.
"How do I look brotha?" Josh questioned as he popped his collar. Drake smiled, Josh had this way of doing that to him. Whatever Drake's mood, Josh could always fix it.
"You lookin good." Drake laughed. "Josh..." Drake began a serious tone replacing the laughter. Drake thought of his heart to heart with Megan a few weeks ago. He needed to make amends with Josh.
"What is it Drake?" Josh asked placing a hand on his brothers shoulder. He'd been waiting to hear this for a few weeks.
"Josh this isn't easy for me to say."
"It's about the party isn't it."
"Not really, no, it's about after the party." Drake said softly.
"Don't tell me you really had sex with Claire, I didn't believe it at first, but Drake..." Josh ranted.
"No, I wouldn't do that. Sex is way to scary. Josh I did stay at her house. Trevor got wasted. I needed a place to keep him. And anyway that's not what I wanted to say to you." Drake explained. A confused yet caring look was on Josh's face.
"Drake, I'm your brother, I understand." Josh whispered as he put an arm around his brothers shoulder.
"Josh, I think I love Claire." Drake blurted, not meaning for it to come out like that.
"Drake, that's not the end of the world. I love Mindy."
"It is, and Mindy's different. No I don't mean like that." Drake added as he saw the hurt and angry look on his brothers face. "You are capable of loving people, I'm not. I'm too scared to love someone, I'm too scared that I'll lose them. Josh I loved my Dad so increadably much, I lost the one person who meant the world to me. Josh, don't you understand? Claire means the world to me, I can't lose her." Drake cried. "I just can't." He sat down on the couch. He'd once again managed to let his emotions get the best of him. It always happened at the worst time.
"Drake, you won't lose her. Just look her in the eyes and tell her you love her. I promise, nothing bad will happen." Josh comforted his brother. Knowing that consolation was all he needed.
They sat there in silence, just thinking. Josh couldn't help but feel bad for his brother. He'd actually lost someone he'd cared about, he'd lost his father. Josh coldn't say he'd ever experienced someone he loved die, he just hadn't. He was always uncomfortable when someone talked about it. Drake had never mentioned his dad before and now that he had Josh felt guilty. Drake was obviously hurt by it all and here was Josh, his mom living in Nothern California with her new boyfriend. Josh couldn't possilby fathom how Drake felt.
"I'm going to get ready now." Drake said as he stood up from the couch and took off his shirt. Drake hated how almost perfect he was. He wished he had some sort of fatal flaw, he hated being attractive. Then again it wasn't the fact that he was attractive, it was the fact that he looked like his father. Ever since he was young his dad's friends and relatives would say,
"You know Jared, your son looks just like you."
"Yeah, he's just a chip off the old block." His dad would reply, pride beaming in his eyes.
Drake sprayed some AXE on himself. He never liked cologne much. He shrugged a black button down shirt on, he didn't feel like color tonight. He pulled on his dark jeans and buttoned them. He slipped his feet into his converse and brushed his hair. -Damn, I still look good.- he cursed in his mind.
"Do you know what Claire's wearing?" Josh asked his brother. He was trying to change the atmosphere of the room.
"I have no idea. Why do you know what Mindy's wearing?"
"Yeah, she's wearing pink. She said it was a halter or something." Josh explained. He couldn't wait to see Mindy. He knew that she'd be beautiful no matter what she wore. The girls would be there any minute. Mrs. Parker wanted to take pictures. She had silently prayed that Drake would find a girl like Claire. A girl who could take care of him, a nice girl. She knew the problems that Drake had, she just didn't know how to make it better. She tried. Boy had she tried.
She knew that the death of Jared had scarred both her children. Mostly Drake, Megan had been to young to know what had happened. Before the death of her husband Drake had been such a happy child. He'd been popular with everyone at such an early age. He'd played tee-ball as a child and made plenty of friend there. In school, come valentines day, Drake would come home with more than anyone else in his class. The social Drake didn't change much when his father died, Audrey knew that he was trying to hide all his emotion and go on living like nothing had happened. The real Drake had changed. He'd become more reclusive at home. He stopped eating healthy, hiding candy and other junk food under his bed. He'd stopped singing to Megan, and he'd started slacking off in school. She tried all she could to bring him out of it, but nothing worked. She figured he'd get better in time, but she knew he wasn't.
The doorbell rang at 6:30. Claire and Mindy had arrived together. Mindy wore a light pink spaghetti strap dress. It looked amazing on her. Claire was wearing a coral strapless two peice dress. The top had intricate bead work, orange and pink beads were sewn into the silk fabric. The bottom half of the dress had a faux slit in it, revealing a range of more colors varying from pink to light orange. She looked stunning her blonde hair straight, half pulled back with a vitange clip. It had orange and pink flowers on it.
"Drake,Josh your dates are here." Audrey yelled up the stairs. "You girls look so gorgeous." She added. They both blushed. Mindy liked Mrs. Parker, she had a hard time believing that Drake was her child. She was more like Josh. Claire liked her too, she reminded her of her own mother.
Drake and Josh entered the room together. Drake pulling of the laid back formal look well. Josh looked handsome in his formal suit. Josh had been nice and bought Mindy a corsage, he'd gone out of his way to get one for Claire. Mindy's was a tiger lilly, her favorite flower. Claires was a white rose.
Audrey took pictures and they left for the school. The gym was decorated with white christmas lights and balloons in the school colors. The music sucked, Drake figured it would. Claire wasn't having much fun either. Around 8:45 Drake went to look for Claire, she'd gone to the bathroom about 20 minutes ago, when she hadn't come back Drake was worried. He asked Jess, a girl from his biology class to see if Claire was in there. She returned with an I'm-sorry face. Drake grunted and walked outside, maybe she was there.
He walked around couples making out. It was disgusting how some people were so open. It was like they were having sex in front of everyone. Drake was modest with his PDA, and it wasn't like people really cared if he did it, he was Drake Parker after all.
He saw Claire sitting on a bench. It was obvious that she had been crying. He sat down next to her, not saying a word. She'd tell him on her own time.
"Drake...I don't know if I can do this." Claire sobbed.
"Do what?" Drake asked as he placed a comforting hand ontop of hers.
"Us, I don't think I can handle it. People are talking, spreading things. Thing's that aren't true." She cried a little harder.
"Don't listen to them." Drake told her as he brushed stray hairs out of her face. She was there to hold him that night, he was here to defend her now.
The chords to a slow song began, everyone started heading back indoors so they could snuggle into the arms of their date, or wallow in the corner if they didn't have one. The song was mellow, Drake knew it. It was his parents wedding song, his father used to sing it for his mom all the time. November Rain by Guns'N Roses.
The first verse played...
'When I look into your eyes I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
And no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain'
Drake pulled Claire close to him. The song was true when it said 'lovers always come and lovers always go, and no one's reallys ure who's lettin' go today.' Drake always felt that way about relationships. The fragility of them always made him nervous, even though he was the one who always ended things. He did that so he wouldn't get hurt.
'And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain,
ohhh yeahhh I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain'
Claire placed her head on his shoulder, there was no place she'd rather be than right there, Drakes arms around her. The two of them Dancing in the moonlight.