You can't undo the past - Part II, Josh's P.O.V
I only did what they told me to do in drivers ed, sideswipe the car. The durango was comming way to fast, in the wrong lane. I panicked and turned the wrong way. Maybe I should hve turned the other way, then maybe it wouldn't have been so bad.
I can still hear her screaming, and her moans after. The falshes of lights and the sickening crunch I heard are still echoing in my mind. It's like a bad dream and I just want to wake up.
Drake was in the car, the Durango. I can't believe he let Trevor drive stoned, then again I odn't think he knew until it was too late.
When he saw me he didn't even ask how I was. He just pushed by and saw the car. I watched him throw up when he saw the blood. I think he knew it was bad. He was the one who called 911, at least he tried to save her. I know he felt guilty, I know he never really wanted her to die.
The ambulence came, so did my parents. Trevor was arrested, Drake ran away before anyone came. He never liked confrontation much. I watched as they pulled Mindy out, she was covered in blood, hers. All I wanted to do was hold her. They let me ride in the ambulence on the way to the hospital. She looked so helpless, I wished it were me, not her.
She was rushed into I.C.U., she had a lot of thigns wrong and her chances were grim. I let the tears fall, I didn't care who saw me cry. They told me she wasn't going to hold on much longer, she was barely concious. They let me in to say goodbye.
"Mindy, can you hear me?" I cried softly. A few tears falling on the sheets.
"Josh..." she coughed, speaking an obvious challange. I grabbed her hand. Her grip was weak, but she still meant the world to me.
"Mindy, I love you. I love you so much." I whispered as I kissed her forehead.
She lost consciousness soon after. My step-mom came in and told me Drake was here and so was Claire. She said they both looked upset. I didn't want to talk to Drake, it was partially his fault she was here, so close to death.
I told her that I just wanted to spend this time with her. I just watned to hold her hand while she left. KNowing that someone had loved her that much. I'd have wanted her to do the same for me.
The machine went off. I knew that she was gone. The doctors rushed in and tried all they could, but I knew nothing would ever bring her back. Everything seemed to move in slow motion from that point on.
The head doctor turned to me and said, "I'm sorry." I cried a little harder.
The reality starting to dawn on me. He went outside to tell everyone, I heard Drake yelling. He took it worse than I did. I think it reminded him of losing his father.
I didn't want anyone to be with me now. I left he room, I dind't want to see them take her away. I didn't want to be there when they called her parents. I needed time to think. I got in the elevator and took it to the rooftop observatory. It was empty all except for the lone janitor. It could have been taken right our of the movies.
The one girl whom I'd ever liked who had liked me back was gone. I felt bad blaming Drake, but if he'd driven we'd all be home sleeping, happy. It hurt me too much to think that I'd never kiss her, hold her, smell her, or just love her again. I tried to push all thoughts of that out of my mind, but it didn't work.
Dawn was breaking, I could see the sunrise from here. I cried more when I saw it. The soft yellow light seeping in throught the windows, slowly bringing color and life back to everything. It crept across the floor until everything was bathed in a yellow haze.
"I thought I'd find you here." A voice stated softly.
"Megan?" I questioned.
"Yeah, it's me." She said as she sat down next to me. "Josh I know how you feel."
I'd forgotten she'd lost her dad too, 8 years ago.
"Josh, I know the last thing you want to do is talk, but don't talk to me about it. Talk to Drake, at least when your ready." She explained, so wise for a 10 year old girl.
"Why?" I questioned, Drake had been less than nice to me lately.
"Because underneath all that 'macho' popular facade, is a kid who's hurting just as much as you. He'll never show it, but he still misses our Dad. They had this increadable bond, he was the one person Drake ever loved, at least honestly. He's experienced way to much, maybe you two could help each other." Megan told me, obviously she cared about both of us.
"He has Claire." I stated coldly. He loved her, she was still here.
"I'm not sure she understands. Drake still crys when he thinks no ones watching."
I thought about that one. megan had a point. Drake had a side to him, a side that none of us knew. He was hurting, it'd grown apparent over the last two months. I wondered how I could miss something like that. He was too good at building defenses, like enemies at war. Only, his worst enemy was and is himself.
"Thank you Megan." I said as I pulled her into a hug. She accepted. She didn't even let one "Josh, you boob." slide. Drake was right, maybe she wasn't all evil.
"Just so you know Josh, I do love you and I love Drake too. I just have to be that annoying sister to show you just how much." she said, the look of warfare still on her face. She wouldn't stop just because one of us was hurting.
"I know." I laughed, it felt guilty to laugh in spite of the situation, but I enjoyed the feeling while it lasted.
I checked my watch, it was 6:30. Mindy's parents were probably here. I didn't want to deal with them. I wanted to stay right here, where the world was infinite.
Megan left a few minutes later. I felt bad for her, she had to be here. It was no place for her to be, nor was it a place for me to be, or Drake, or Claire, any of us for that matter.
I sat there letting the San Diego morning sun warm my face. Thinking that Mindy, wherever she was, was watching me watch the sun, and thinking about how much she loved me. And that was all it took for me to cry.
okay so at the proposal of a reader I decided to up the raiting just for a few chapters. I feel, as she does, that I dropped the F-bomb one too many times for it to be "safe" under a T raiting. Anywho, I just did it to be safe. I feel the last chapter will probably be my worst one yet. I personally feel that if I put something like sex, or something else really heavy, I'll forewarn you. I'm typically good at that. Anwho, I'm So, so, so ,so elated that you guys like my story. ;) This is the second fan fic ever, that i've written, that's gotten this much reviews. It takes me awhile to write good ones.
Keep reading, I plan to keep going at the rate I am, about a Chapter A day.