Disclaimer: Not mine, on any level. If I owned Howard, he'd generally be a lot more naked.
Warnings: I'm afraid this is R-rated stuff, kids. Men do dirty things to each other. They may even enjoy it. There may be feelings involved. In short, it may make your eyes bleed. If you're young/impressionable/not-a-fan-of-slash, you shouldn't read it.
Notes: Sorry, I just can't stop slashing these two. I think this is gonna be the first proper slashy, R-rated, Boosh story on this site. What a claim to fame. I really appreciate criticism, but I think mainly I just want to spread the Boosh love around. 'Ave it.
Oh yeah, it continues on from not long after the last chapter left off. And italics equals Vince's thoughts.
Chapter 3: Tipsy
"And then, you just, just sort of leaned back, and then came right forward and twatted him. You could hear the crack! Oh, it was beautiful…"
"You know, I was there, Vince."
"Well, yeah, but it was just amazing… You have got to teach me how to nut someone like that!"
"Well, maybe another time, little man." Howard said, shaking his head.
They'd finished the first bottle of wine, and were well into their second.
Vince had gradually started pouring himself and Howard equal measures, forgetting about the taste as he became tipsy.
"What you thinking about?"
"Oh, nothing."
"No, go on, tell me!"
Howard frowned and hesitated for a moment. "Alright. I was thinking you've been pretty nice to me today."
"I'm always nice to you, Howard."
Howard simply rolled his eyes in response.
Vince was now so close to Howard that if he got any closer, he'd be in his lap.
He was working up to it.
Their hips kept grinding against each other as they shifted their positions on the sofa.
Vince was shifting quite a lot now.
And Howard hadn't complained yet…
Vince decided to push his luck.
"How's the patient?" He glanced pointedly at Howard's crotch unable to stifle a quick laugh at his own words.
Howard cleared his throat for a ridiculously long time. "Uh, he – I mean it – feels a lot better now, thanks…"
Vince steeled himself.
"Oh good… Are you sure you wouldn't like me to… um… take another quick look, I mean, just to be sure it's all alright now, and everything…"
He took a deep, steadying breath.
Everything hinged on how Howard answered this question.
Because Howard would surely know it was a ploy. A rather obvious ploy.
He imagined that he could hear Howard's heart beating in his throat as he waited for a response.
And waited…
He didn't dare look at Howard.
When, at length, he replied, Howard's voice came out about an octave higher than usual.
"I, uh, I… Well, it might be a good idea, little man… You know, just to be sure that it's recovered alright. It was pretty sore earlier…"
"Yeah, I mean, just as a precaution…"
Howard looked at him, his face a picture of terror and confusion, and they both just sat there in silence for a moment.
Then Vince stood up shakily.
"Yeah…" said Howard, and got up.
Oh god, he agreed… I can't believe he agreed…
He must be drunker than I thought…
Vince's hands were shaking as he knelt down in front of Howard, for the second time that day. They shook so badly it took him a full minute to undo the top button.
Howard was completely still. Only his deep, ragged breathing gave away his nerves.
The zip was down now…
This time, Vince pushed Howard's trousers all the way down to the floor, his eyes travelling hungrily up and down his legs.
His hands were resting on Howard's hips…
Now they were pulling down on the underpants…
Pulling…
Until the underpants too were around his ankles.
Vince's face was hot, and his throat was dry.
He risked a look up at Howard's face. The older man's eyes were closed, but as he felt Vince's gaze, he blinked down at him, with hugely dilated pupils.
Vince smiled.
Because of me…
He turned his attention to Howard's now painfully obvious erection.
That was because of him too.
It was good to know that.
Howard gasped out loud, and squirmed where he stood, as Vince's hands reached behind him to clasp his buttocks.
Vince pressed a fleeting kiss on the line of hair that ran down from Howard's belly button.
Then he ran his fingers lightly over Howard's straining dick to his bruised balls, cupping them, stroking them, before dropping his hands to his own lap and saying wickedly;
"Well, it all seems to be in working order. No problems down here. Perfectly healthy."
He made as if to get up.
But Howard's large, strong hand was on his head, holding him down.
"Vince…" He growled, warningly.
Vince's loins were set alight by Howard's authoritative tone, his own erection growing by the second.
He kissed the head of Howard's dick gently, then slid his mouth down slowly, keeping his teeth back.
Howard's whole body seemed to tense even more - he was so primed it was almost over before it began.
They both were.
But Vince couldn't seem to take Howard in far enough… Not without his stupid teeth getting in the way…
He kept his mouth resting halfway down, where it didn't feel too uncomfortable for him, and swirled his tongue around the hardened flesh.
Howard was silent, but when Vince's hands cupped his backside again he cried out a little.
So Vince kept his hands there, and continued to work with his mouth for a while…
Tasting Howard…
Vince's stomach clenched violently at the thought. He was dangerously close to the edge now, the pent-up longings of earlier rushing back in on him all at once, making his head swim and his balls ache.
But what about Howard?
It's no good. He's not going to come this way…
Not soon enough for my liking, anyway…
He pulled back, with some added suction, and Howard gasped again.
Vince looked up questioningly.
"Like this?" He asked, curving his fingers around Howard's dick firmly.
Howard looked down, all flushed and dishevelled, and nodded.
Alright then.
Vince undid his own flies quicker than he'd ever done in his life and reached tenderly inside.
One hand for Howard, one hand for him, pumping, beating…
Stroking…
Howard cried out again.
He's getting closer.
But not quite as close as him.
Vince spilled into his own hand suddenly, with shuddering moans, and the hand stroking Howard's aching hardness paused briefly.
Recovering as quickly as he could, he wiped his trembling hand on Howard's buttock, clasping it firmly to steady himself, as his other hand resumed it's previous action.
He pre-emptively moved his face out of the way, and as Howard writhed in his grasp,
Vince peered slyly up at his friend, wanting to see what he looked like in the moment of release.
"Howard…" He said, low and quiet.
The face that was at first scrunched up, contorted with pleasure and pain, suddenly relaxed, and Vince felt yet more wetness pumping out into his hand, as Howard gave his loudest cry yet.
They stayed frozen in the aftermath for a while, panting.
Eventually, Vince got up to wash his hands, and Howard slowly pulled up his trousers.
They both made it back to the sofa and sat in dazed silence for some time.
Naturally, Vince found his voice first.
"So, yeah, I'd say you're fully recovered. More wine?"