We all have our skeletons
It's been three months now since Mindy died. I'm still not over it. Trevor's in jail because he's 18 and Josh is getting better. Josh now goes to therapy every Friday. I go every Thursday but it's a waste of time because I don't talk to the therapist, they never really listen. I mean come on they listen to about 20 other kids problems a day, they're probably counting down the hours left, or just waiting until they hit pay dirt when you cry. I don't need a therapist, I need Claire. I miss her so much. It damn near killed me this Christmas when I got a gift from her. My mom invited her to a Christmas party we had, she bought me a shirt and guitar strings. She's amazing sometimes. I got her a necklace, I liked it a lot. She did too, she wears it every day. I don't know if she knows that I know that. Anyway, Josh has a new crush on a new girl from Vermont. She's pretty and I think she likes Josh too, it'd be good for him to have another girlfriend. I'm thinking about asking Claire out again, we never really did break up, we just kind of separated for a little bit, and the fact that we're on talking terms still is a good thing. Anyway, I've got things to do today, it's Valentines day after all.
-Drake
Drake put down the journal and looked up at the clock 4:15 it flashed. He grunted, he never used to wake up this early, but ever since Mindy died he found himself waking up at odd hours of the night.
He got out of bed and walked towards the door, he knew what he was looking for. He walked into the guest room and opened the closet door. He searched through a few boxes labeled Christmas Decorations, Wrapping Paper, and Bows. He grabbed all the arts and crafts boxes he could find, even though arts and crafts wasn't his forte.
He carried the boxes into his room, -Great way to get over insomnia- Drake laughed to himself. He placed them down near the desk and got to work. He didn't know exactly what he was going to make, but he let the inspiration take over him.
He sat there at the desk, he'd just spent the better part of an hour gluing, cutting, then throwing away mass ammounts of paper. He grunted as he threw his last attempt at a homemade gift away. He placed his head in his hands and sighed. Nothing would be quite good enough for Claire. Then it hit him. He sat up and turned around in the chair.
He grabbed a tattered old shoebox from underneath his bed. It was covered in dust and looked like it had seen better times than this. He opened it slowly as to preserve the memories that were in it.
In the faint glow of the desk lamp Josh watched his brother look through the box. Josh had seen the box before but figured it was another one of Megan's booby traps and stayed away from it. Drake had no idea that Josh had been awake this whole time.
Drake pulled out a picture of him, his dad, Megan, and his mom. Drake was 6 and Megan was just a baby. They'd gone to Cape Cod for the summer. The four of them were sitting on a rock, a white lighthouse with a red roof was behind them. Drake could still feel the wind in his hair, the sand between his feet, and his dad trying to teach him to wakeboard in the cold Atlantic Ocean.
"Daddy, the waters too cold." Drake said shivering.
"It's good for you. Clears the senses." His Dad laughed.
"I'm going in." Drake mumbled as he shouldered the wakeboard and walked towards his mom.
Josh saw the picture in his brothers hands. He could barely make out what it was, but he knew it was special to Drake.
Drake looked at the picture and a small smile spread across his face. He placed the picture on the desk and moved on to the next item.
He pulled out an old jewlery box, inside it contained his very first guitar pick. It wasn't that sentimental, it just represented to him the fact that he'd made it so far as a musician, it was just the constant reminder of where he came from. He took it out and placed it next to the picture.
The last few items left in the box held the most value to Drake, these were the things that other people would just look past and forget about. They were the odd nick-nacks that mean nothing to anyone except the one who knows their story.
He pulled out a yellowed peice of paper. It'd been nine years since Drake last read it. He opened it carefully. The black ink on the page had fadded with time and smudges were visible from where tears had fallen onto the page.
Drake didn't have to read it to know what it said. He'd memorized it all, every exclimation point, every period, every letter. He knew it all.
-To Drake,
It's inconcivable at how much I love you already and I've just gotten to know you today. I can't begin to find the combination of words to describe exactly how I feel, that's why I'm writing this letter.
It's January 16, 1987 and it's a rainy day here in San Diego. You picked the most interesting day to meet us. I'm sitting here in the hospital room, your mother's sleeping, I don't blame her if I'd just pushed an eight pound kid out of me I'd want to sleep too. It just amazes me that you're real, that you're a part of her and you're a part of me, but I'm digressing from the point I want to make.
You're either reading this because I've felt it's time you know all this, or I've died, but I hope it's the first one because I plan to give this to you when you get married.
Drake I want you to know that I love you, you're my son, I could never love anyone more than I love you. I can't explain how it feels and someday when you have your own son, you'll know what I mean. I can't wait to show you all the things that I know, to teach you, to watch you get older, to watch you make the mistakes that I made so you can learn from that. I want to do all the cliche things that fathers do, I want to teach you to ride your bike, play baseball, read books, go fishing, play guitar.
And today I realised when I held you for the first time and you looked up at me with those brown eyes (which you most definatly got from me), that life is the most amazing gift we'll ever have and it's something that we're entitled to enjoy. I realised that you have no idea what the problems and the bad in this world are and I'm not naive enough to think that you won't, because trust me you will. I just want you to understand that through all those bad times and problems, that I'm here for you, to comfort you, to help you, to hold you. I'd like to think that you'll stay innocent and carefree forever, but I know that you won't. I want you to know that being yourself is what matters most in this world. I want you to enjoy everything that makes you happy. The world is yours.
If something ever happens to me while you're alive to see it and if I'm not here to help you with your problems, know that I'm always there. You're the reflection of me, I'll always be in your shadows, In your footsteps. I'm always behind you 100 percent of the way, even if it's dark and you can't see me. Drake, I just want you to know that I love you and that I've loved you since the moment you were a thought in the back of my mind. I loved you when you were a little more then a thought, a budding reality. I loved you when you became reality, though an unattainable, invisable, unimaginable, reality. And I love you now and I'll keep on loving you ten, twenty, fifty, two thousand, years down the road.
Promise me you'll never stop smiling and looking at the world the way you looked at me today.
-Love Dad.
Drake finished reading the letter, he was crying now. It'd been hard to read after the second paragraph, he was trembling so badly and tears had blurred his vision so much. He was glad he'd had it memorized.
Josh watched as his brother cried. He'd seen Drake cry before, but not like this. This was real crying, hurt crying. He watched as Drake carefully folded the letter back up and placed it on top of the picture.
The last item in the box was another picture, this one of his father when he was 17.
Drake palced everything back in the box except the letter, and the guitar pick. He had everything he need right here.
He punched a hole into the guitar pick and threaded it onto a peice of hemp, necklace making wasn't his strong suit, but he was going to attempt it none the less.
He opened the instructions on the hemp package he found in a box labeled miscelaneous. He followed the instructions looping, pulling, and tying the string together. Instead of the big bead that was supposed to be put in the middle he put the pick.
He placed the necklace on the desk, it didn't look like much, but the story behind it was more important. He'd make sure to tell Claire that.
He placed it into a box and wrapped it with red paper he found in the Christmas box. He placed that to the side and turned off the light. He walked back into his bed and tried to go back to sleep.
The alarm clock went off at 6:00 but both boys were already wide awake. They got up in an understanding silence. They got dressed and headed downstairs. Josh was going to ask Marissa, the new girl, if she wanted to go to a movie tonight with Drake and his date. He hoped she'd say yes, she'd been hinting that she'd like a date for valentines day for the past few weeks.
"Hey Josh, I'm going to start off to school a little early today." Drake said as he pulled on his backpack and picked up his guitar.
"Okay, I'll see you there." Josh relplied as he grabbed a bottle of orange juice out of the refridgerator.
"Good luck with Marissa." Drake told his brother.
"Thanks." Josh said.
Drake walked out the door to the one destination he'd know he'd find solitude. Claire's house.
His timing was almost perfect. He walked up to her driveway as she walked out the front door. He walked up the path to her house, she was frozen in the doorway. It'd been a long time since the two had been alone with one another.
"Drake..." Claire begain but when she caught the look on his face she stopped talking.
He threw his backpack down on the pathway and pulled out his guitar. And began to sing her the song he'd written.
-Why is it that you always catch me at the worst times?
The times when i'm down, losing my ground tyring to find my way home.
And why do you think that you can hold me and make everything alright?
It's not okay that I told you goodbye.
And everything that I try to say always comes out wrong and I'm always messing it up or telling you lies why can't I just tell you that I love you that I miss you that you're my everything?
trust me when I don't say anything at all.
How is it you can always see through me?
And how you always seem to know what'll make me smile?
After awhile I learned It's because you know me better than I know myself
and everything that I try to say always comes out wrong and I'm always messing it up or telling you lies why can't i just tell you,
that I love you that i miss you that you're my everything?
trust me when I don't say anything at all.
And I'm stuck in this hole that I've dug myself in and it's getting deeper and deeper with every lie that I say And I want you and I need you To save me and help me fly
And everythign that I try to say always comes out wrong and I'm always messing it up or telling you lies why can't I just tell you,
that I love you that I miss you that you're my everything?
trust me when I don't say anything at all.-
Drake didn't dare look up at her when he finished the song. He knew he didn't have to, he knew she was already crying. He placed the guitar back in his case and zipped it up.
She hugged him taking back all the memories of his body.
"Thank you." She whispered into his ear. He smiled and pulled her close. This was the best day of his life.
"Does that mean we're back together?" Drake asked as he pushed her in front of him.
"If you want to then I want to be." She smiled. He kissed her. Drake had missed kissing her a lot. It was one of the simpilest pleasures.
"I missed that a lot." Drake laughed as he pulled away from the kiss. She laughed too.
"So did I."
"You ready to go to school now?" Drake asked as he grabbed her hand. They'd walk today, who cares if they were late.
"Ready if you are." Claire answered. The two walked off, both happy to be back with the one they loved again, but it wasn't the end to the problem, it was only the beginning. They still had secrets of their own, secrets that they hadn't yet told the other, or anyone else. But all that was unessecary. It wasn't the time or place for baggage to be brought into the relationship. It was valentines day, and the two deserved to happy at least for a fleeting moment.