I wrote Pickles a couple of days ago and I decided to write the second chapter for everyone: Pickles and Pretzels. Please review! Okay I know saying Please review! Doesn't influence anyone to review but I like feeling special when people review, and I got FIVE WHOLE REVIEWS LAST TIME! You don't know how psychopath I feel right now. Enjoy Pickles and Pretzels.

Boy meets sponge, boy loses sponge, boy gets a bad haircut, other boy and girl sing karaoke. I also have to say ... I spy something lime green. Your grandma's hat!

Pickles and Pretzels: The Story After Pickles.

"Do you think Malfoy is a blueberry pie or a cherry pie?" Said Ron. His friends both looked at him like he was mad.

"PUDDING!" Harry and Hermione screamed.

"Oh."

"Well, at least he's dead now. With ridiculous writings on his wall..." Harry pointed out.

Hermione gagged. "Malfoy makes me wanna salsa."

"Let's go get some pretzels," suggested Ron.

"Nahh, but do you wanna play a game?" asked Harry.

"DUCK DUCK GOOSE!" Ron said.

"Duck duck goose is the most perverted game ever made up by a toddler, Ronald," Hermione shook her head.

The Spongebob came out of the forest singing, "I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!" That is the sexiest thing I've ever seen, Harry thought as his drool hit the ground.

Harry ran after the mysterious yellow sponge. He had always thought square was the hottest shape, but no one was ever square-shaped enough for Harry's liking, until today.

"Come back here, sexy," called Harry.

Spongebob turned around and batted his ridiculously long eyelashes at Harry.

Meanwhile, back at the castle where Ron and Hermione stood alone...

"So. We're alone. All by ourselves. Alone. Nobody's here. Nobody. Alone. Alone alone alone. Alone. Alone alone. Alone." (A/N After saying the word ALONE a lotta times it sounds funny. Also, say the word "gallon" 20 times in a row. You'll crack yourself up.)

"Wow. The author is such a loser," Ron pointed out.

"Ohmygod, I know," whispered Hermione.

Gallon gallon gallon gallon gallon gallon gallon gallon-y gallon gallon GALL-OON gallon gallon gallon HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! She was right! Gallon is a funny word."

"Okay, okay, Ron, you were saying before..."

"Oh, yeah, I was saying...Alone. Alone alone alone. Alone alone-"

"Yeah, we're alone." said Hermione.

"So do you wanna..."

"You're surely not suggesting that we..."

"Oh yes. Yes I am."

"KARAOKE!" they yelled in unison.

"I CALL THE BARRY WHITE CD!"

"I CALL THE WIGGLES SOUNDTRACK!"

"Hey, Hermione! You got to sing the Wiggles last time!" said Ron.

"But I called it first, loser," Hermione said plainly, examining her fingernail.

"DAMMIT!"

"Fruit salad, yummy yummy, fruit salad, yummy yummy," sang Hermione.

"You're the first, you're the last, my everything!" Ron screeched.

Out of nowhere an orange and purple polka-dotted cat leaped onto Ron's face and scratched it up good. Hermione continued to sing "In the Wiggles world, in the Wiggles world..."

(A/N This is a poem I found the other day that I found rather funny.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana.

Jack got high and dropped his fly and said, "Do you wanna?"

So Jill said yes and dropped her dress

And then they had some fun

But silly Jill forgot her pill

And now they have a son.

Now back to the story.

Hermione realized that Ron was being tortured buy a cat so she ran over to him and said, "Ron! Your face! It's..."

Ron was preparing a "YOUR MOM!" comeback for whatever Hermione said next, but he had no idea that she was going to say...

"Hot."

"YOUR MOM!" yelled Ron.

"Uhh...You think my mom is hot, Ron?" said Hermione. This is awkward, thought Hermione.

"No, but...STACY'S MOM! HAS GOT IT GOING ON!" Ron sang loudly. Despite the pain of his face he was still in a Karaoke mood.

Back at the forest with Harry and Spongebob...

"So, how long have you been square?" Harry asked.

"For as long as I can remember," said Spongebob

"I really like the color yellow..."

"I really like the shape of a lightning-bolt..."

(A/N Then some other stuff happens but I don't wanna say it because...whatever.)

"My socks are too long."

"I'm not wearing socks."

"Oh, yeah, me neither."

"I like the smell of my wallpaper."

"Don't you think Mr. Quaker Oats and Aunt Jemima would make a good couple?"

"Glass is not bendable."

"I bent glass once."

"That was rubber, genius."

"How do you know?"

"I know everything."

"Have you ever worn pants?"

"Well...no. Have you?"

"Never."

"Good. Now I don't feel so bad."

"Is today the 46th?"

"No, it's the 44th."

"Thanks."

"Who are you writing to.?"

"The president. We have to do something about this damn country."

"What's wrong with it?"

"There's too much of the color red around. I'm asking him to paint everything a blueish color for me."

"He's not gonna do that."

"Yes he is."

"No he's not."

Yes, he is."

"How do you know?"

"I went skinny-dipping with him once."

"Ew."

"I want a haircut."

"I'll cut your hair."

"Okay. Don't cut it too short though. I read that orange hair can turn sea weed green if it's cut too short."

Hermione gave Ron a buzz cut.

"You loser!"

"What?"

"You gave me a buzz cut!"

"So?"

"So now my head's gonna turn sea weed green!"

"...So?"

Then Ron's head turn sea weed green.

"That's hot." said Ron.

"Let's go get Harry and Spongebob now."

"Okay."

So Ron and Hermione skipped merrily to the fields while eating pickles on the way because they thought that if they didn't eat any pickles soon than the title would have nothing to to with the story that they were in.

"What about the pretzels?" asked Hermione.

"Ah, how about some more karaoke?" said Ron.

So Ron and Hermione skipped merrily to the fields while eating pickles and singing Whitney Houston and met up with Harry and Spongebob.

Everyone stopped suddenly and faced the camera, smiling.

"Well, that's all for now, folks!"

"We'll see you next chapter, where we'll be starring wearing orange pants, eating overly-salted pizza and taking on a racoon!"

With that, our favorite group of friends got on their unicycles and rode off into the sunset.

Well, that's my stupid way to end a chapter. But hey! I'm sure I'll think of something stupider, simply because I'm ... Lauren. This is the author of Pickles, saying, "Go to Burger King and get fat cause you're all gonna die anyway."