6

Over the course of the next two days, they had good weather most of the time, although there were patches of rain, and overcast periods in which the temperature dropped sharply. Their path was alternately easy or difficult, depending on the river's width at any given time.

Bashir found himself growing used to Narayan's reserved companionship; she didn't speak much about herself after he had guessed she was with Starfleet Intelligence, but he suspected that was only part of the reason. She was still withdrawn on a personal level, keeping him slightly at bay. He filled in that gap with his own life; it had never been difficult to talk about himself. Except for the genetic engineering. He stayed away from that subject, and she didn't ask, and he wondered if she was even curious or cared.

Despite her reluctance to say much about herself, she had quickly taken to calling him "Julian" and had easily accepted him calling her "Syreeta". Bashir found it a relief to be on a first name basis with her; it made her seem more human, and it seemed to make the whole situation more tolerable. He was with someone who was like him, at least in a very basic respect. It helped, knowing that.

They hadn't seen much wildlife, other than the small game Narayan killed for their dinners, of course. But they day after Bashir had deduced that Narayan was an intelligence officer, they had seen another one of those cat-creatures. It had tracked them, on the opposite bank, keeping pace with them for three kilometers before vanishing back into the forest. Bashir had worried about that slightly, but Narayan had seemed unconcerned. The river was wide and fast, and the creature had probably just been tracking them along the boundaries of its territory. Bashir wished he felt as comfortable in the wilderness as she did. It unnerved him to be shadowed by such a predator, and he even found himself jumping at the sounds of nearby birds at night. On the station, the worst they'd had to worry about was Cardassian voles. A vole was not too likely to think of Bashir as dinner. When he had mentioned that, Narayan pointed out the predators on this planet had never seen humans before, and wouldn't necessarily equate them with food. That had helped allay some of Bashir's apprehensions.

It was mid-afternoon on their sixth day of hiking when Bashir stopped suddenly because Narayan had come to abrupt halt behind him. As he turned, he saw her tap her combadge.

"Berch? I read you! Come in!"

There was nothing but the sound of the forest around them, the wind moving through the leaves, the calls of distant birds.

"Narayan to Sir John! Dammit, come in!"

She looked up at the violet sky, shaking her head, then back down at Bashir.

"I could have sworn I heard–", she said, then frowned. "I think you need to scan me. I think I'm hallucinating. Unless you heard something?"

He shook his head and approached her, pulling out a tricorder, scanning her just in case.

"I didn't, but I don't think you're hallucinating, Syreeta. When I was keeping watch this morning, I could have sworn I heard two of my friends talking to me." It had been Dax first, calling his name, then O'Brien, asking if Bashir could hear him.

"Why didn't you say anything?", Narayan said.

"I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me, dragging up the memories of their voices. A human brain will some times toss up things at random."

Narayan sighed, rubbing her hands together.

"What the hell is going on here, Julian?", she asked.

"I know as much as you do," he replied with a sigh.

"We're stuck on this planet, we have no idea where we are, and each of us are hearing the voices of our crewmates. I don't like this."

"Believe me," Bashir said with feeling. "Neither do I."

She tapped her combadge again, just in case, but it responded only with the deadened chirp that told them both it wasn't linked to anything.

"Let's keep going," Bashir suggested.

"No," she countered. "Let's stop here for today. We've made good time already, and if we wash the blankets in the river, then hang them to dry, they'll be dry by nightfall."

"Good idea," Bashir agreed. The blankets had started to smell by now, as had their clothes. They both stank, Bashir thought wryly, of sweat and dirt. The river was far too cold to bathe in, so they'd have to content themselves with washing their faces and hands in the icy water. They had nothing to boil water in, and, even if they had, they had nothing with which to dry themselves.

They set up camp as best they could, foregoing the tent for the time being, stringing their rope between two trees in the sun. Then they washed the blankets and their spare clothing, and lit a fire nearby to help everything dry. Bashir took up his normal job of plant gathering as Narayan set out to hunt some unfortunate animal. When they both came back, Narayan set to work cooking, and Bashir cut two pieces of wood from a fallen tree for them to sit on. He sat down opposite his companion, rubbing his face. He had a healthy beard now, and wondered how he looked, and then thought perhaps he didn't want to know.

They sat munching on berries while the meat cooked. It still smelled delicious, but Bashir was beginning to tire of their culinary routine. It was better than rations all of the time, but it had nothing on a simple breakfast of scones and jam, or even anything from the replimat. He suddenly missed eating with Garak, and wondered what day it was, if he was maybe missing a lunch meal right now. He had no idea what kind of time change he may have experienced; it could easily be noon on the station, or even the middle of the night.

Then he thought again of not going back. Garak would probably be the only person truly upset by the loss of a genetically enhanced person. Oh, everyone else assured Bashir they didn't think differently of him, but he knew that they did. Garak had plainly stated he found the whole concept intriguing and had no qualms about pressing Bashir for all sorts of information on his enhancements and the process of genetic engineering. O'Brien, Dax, and the others, though… Would they always be aware, around him, of what he really was? Things will never be the same, he thought.

"It's done," Narayan said, shaking him from his reverie. She handed him some meat and he took it gratefully, eating in silence. He found himself glad they had stopped; they had indeed made good time that day, almost twenty kilometers, and he hadn't realized how much he needed a break.

"Who's Berch?", he asked her. Narayan looked slightly startled at the question; they had been sitting in silence so long, and Bashir wondered what thoughts had been occupying her.

"Oh, the Bajoran doctor aboard the Sir John."

"Friend of yours?"

"Yes."

"I'm sure they'll find you."

She gave him a funny look.

"And with me, you. You must be anxious to get back to your station."

Bashir sighed, looking down at the food he held in his hands.

"I suppose," he admitted.

"You suppose? You don't sound very enthusiastic."

"It's– Well, it's difficult to explain. Things have changed."

"Why?", she asked.

"Now everyone knows I'm genetically enhanced. They all think of me differently. Now I'm not Doctor Julian Bashir anymore."

"Did you lose friends over this?", she asked. She actually sounded incredulous, as if it was un heard of for anyone to turn his or her back on a friend who was a criminal.

"No," Bashir admitted. "But it still isn't the same. Before, I was one of them. Now, I'm different. Unnatural. A freak."

Her face went hard suddenly and Bashir was startled by the darkness of her expression.

"Take. That. Back.", Narayan growled in a low, menacing voice.

"What?", he asked.

"Take that back!", she snapped.

"Why?", he demanded in return. "What's it to you? Do you understand the process of genetic enhancement? There's nothing left of me that's unchanged. I am unnatural."

She rose suddenly, her fists clenched, and Bashir honestly thought she was going to strike him. He pulled back, and she glared down at him with such fury that he could feel the heat coming from her.

"Don't you think I've had to listen to enough of that crap all of my life?", she hissed, her voice dangerous. "Don't you think there haven't been people who have whispered about me that I'm a freak, unnatural, a mutant? Now you sit here telling me you are, and that makes me like you!"

Bashir stared at her.

"No, it doesn't!", he protested. "You only had your hearing enhanced–"

"Do you think people who care about that sort of thing draw lines!", she snapped, eyes flashing. "Do you think they have some kind of limit in which you are only a freak after a certain number of things have been enhanced! No! I have good hearing, Julian, and I have heard what people have said about me when they thought I was out of earshot! I've lived my whole life knowing this and being honest about it, despite the fact that I knew it would bring trouble. Because I know that I'm not a freak! I know I'm not unnatural! I'm still a human being!"

"Everything about me was altered!", he shot back. "And what would you know about having to hide it because it's illegal?"

"Oh yes, what was done to me was perfectly legal, wasn't it? Starfleet accepts the official version of the story that it was an accident, but I have friends who are doctors! Do you honestly think I don't know that this is almost impossible to do by accident? Do you think I know it probably wasn't deliberate? I can't question the doctor who did this; he died a long time ago! Maybe he didn't intend it, but I doubt it, but I also doubt he intended me to think of myself as a freak! He wanted me to have an advantage! I couldn't hear when I was born! He wanted something better for me! Maybe my parents did, too, I don't know!"

Bashir rose as well, anger churning within him.

"You don't know what it's like to know your parents aren't proud of you!" he snapped.

"No! I don't! I don't know what it's like to have parents who are proud of me, either! I don't have parents, Julian! How do you know yours aren't? Did they say that to you? They think you're a failure?"

"They didn't think I was good enough for them! They had to have me enhanced!"

"Why did they do it? Was there something wrong?", she asked.

Bashir calmed down a bit, feeling a familiar shame.

"I struggled with school when I was a child. It took me a long time to learn things. I was behind all of my classmates, and it didn't look like I'd catch up."

Narayan crossed her arms, but when she spoke, she was no longer yelling.

"And there's no possibility they did this because they wanted you to have more? Because they wanted you to succeed and be happy and productive and get the most you could out of your life?"

Bashir glowered at her. That was similar to what his mother had said. They hadn't been ashamed of him, they had wanted to help him.

"And now, what? You push them out of your life because you've decided their motivations for them? I don't think my parents were ashamed of having a deaf daughter! I think they wanted me to have all the opportunities I could possibly have!"

"You're one to talk about pushing people out of my life," Bashir snapped. He hadn't wanted to say that, but it was out, and there was no taking it back.

"What?", Narayan demanded.

"Do you treat everyone the way you've treated me?", he asked. "Do you keep them at arm's length because you're so afraid of losing someone that you don't want to risk them getting to know you? I'm sorry your family's dead, but do you think they'd want you living without any real relationships?"

"Don't assume you know anything about me!", she snarled.

"I don't! How could I? You've hardly told me anything!"

"I don't need you to solve any problems I might have, Doctor! I didn't ask to be psychoanalyzed! And I certainly didn't ask to be stranded with a man who thinks so poorly of himself! You said you weren't Khan Singh. He believed he was superior to other humans. Do you have to believe you're inferior to everyone else to prove you aren't like him?"

Bashir stared at her; no one had ever thrown Khan Singh at him that way. Narayan glared at him for a moment, then made a disgusted noise, waved a dismissive hand sharply, and stalked away. He watched her head down toward the river and begin washing her hands vigourously. He opened his mouth to say something else, then closed it abruptly, sitting back down on the log.

His mind reeled. The anger still burned in him, but it was accompanied now by confusion. What had possessed them to say those things? He hadn't even thought poorly of Narayan for keeping her distance until now. He hadn't realized until he'd said it that she did indeed seem to keep a shield between herself and the rest of the galaxy.

Bashir rubbed his face with his hands, wishing they could take back the last ten minutes and erase them. He didn't need this. She didn't need this. They were stranded together, they were each other's only hope of survival. But now…

He didn't want to talk to her, and doubted she wanted much to do with him. With a sigh, he stood up and checked the drying blankets and clothing. They needed to keep going, no matter what, and the sooner they reached that settlement, the better off they'd both be.