Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
W00hoo, this story got it's first review!
Gandhara: Great idea :), the whole Asuma Kurenai thing will happen, it's something that can be fitted in real good, just need alter a few lines for it in a upcoming chapter P The things with all three of the threesome in this story will start in chapter 13 so that's still a long way to go.
Now on with the story!
Chapter 3: The Pimp of Kage Bunshins!
After doing his day's worth of information gathering, Jiraiya decided to hit the streets tonight for some sake and woman.It was still early but it was pretty dark outside already.Jiraiya passed by a stripclub and it had a neonlight announcement on the front.
"Tonight, Hot blonds night. Sake for half the price." Jiraiya read out loud what stood on the announcement board.
Jiraiya smiled widely and headed inside.
He sat down and a waitress walked up to him."Can I get you something, sir?" The waitress asked. Jiraiya turned around and there he saw a cute blond waitress standing in front of him.
"Yeah I'd like some sake, please." Jiraiya said with his perverted smile on his face.
"Ok I'll bring it right to you." The waitress said as she turned around and walked away while shaking her butt from side to side.
"Hmm...I can't help it but to feel like I've seen her somewhere else before." Jiraiya said to himself as he turned around to look at the dancers. Jiraiya looked shocked as he again had the feeling he knew the dancers from somewhere even though he couldn't place exactly from what.
"Here's your sake, sir." Jiraiya heard from behind him. He turned around to find the waitress holding the plate in front of her in a bowed state, giving Jiraiya quite the view. "Uh...Thank you." Jiraiya said as he picked up his sake.
"Tell me miss...Have we met before?"
"Hmmm...I don't think so...I would have remembered a man like you." The waitress said as she moved her back over Jiraiya's chest.
"I always remember...the good ones." She whispered in his ear.
Jiraiya's grin widened and his perverted mood was instantly active.
"If you need ANYTHING else...Let me...know." The waitress said as she walked away shaking her ass as she did.
"He...hehe...hehehe...What great woman here." Jiraiya said.
"I should come here often...Looks like this is a promising club...heheheh..These woman sure are great." Jiraiya said in his perverted state.
"Yeah my bunshin are great, aren't they?" Jiraiya looked to his side and was shocked to see Naruto there.
"NARUTO! What are you doing here! You aren't of legal age even!" Jiraiya said pointing at Naruto.
"Well this is my evening job." Naruto said as he took a zip of his water.
"Evening...job?" Jiraiya asked.
"Yeah...I was short on money so I needed a job. I saw they had an opening here...So I walked in." Naruto explained.
"But...Your not a girl..." Jiraiya said.
"No, that's why they laughed at me at first. That is untill I showed them my amazing Harem no Jutsu." Naruto said nodding as he started to count the money he had already made tonight.
"Harem...no jutsu?" Jiraiya asked.
"You know the Oiroke no jutsu I showed you a while ago Ero-sennin? Harem no Jutsu is that technique plus the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." Naruto replied.
"Oooh! I see! That's why I kind of reconised these girls...You really are a genius!" Jiraiya said with his perverted grin on his face.
"Well the other girls here didn't think so...They thought they'd be put out of business if I came here...So we made an agreement that I'd come here once a week and the rest of the week is for the real girls instead of my bunshins. I must say I'm quite the seducer." Naruto said as he put his money into his Gama-chan money bag.
"What do you mean?" Jiraiya asked confused.
Naruto turned to Jiraiya, smiled widely and pointed to Jiraiya's face.
Jiraiya touched his face and felt blood coming from his nose.
"That didn't come from you! That was from that cute waitress!" Jiraiya said.
"I know that...But who do you think that waitress is?" Naruto asked grinning widely.
"...I see." Jiraiya said whiping the blood away.
"Well I'm off to go out with the real ladies that work here usually. See you later Ero-sennin." Naruto said as a whole bunch of girls arived and he went off with them.
Meanwhile Neji arrived at Konoha's Teen Night Club to find someone who he hoped that would hang out there like usually. As he suspected, Neji found the village's only remaining Uchiha surrounded by all the other girls aside from a few that were on the dance floor. Neji approached the Uchiha and stood right in front of him. Sasuke didn't notice him because he was too busy with his fangirls that he ignores during the day.
"Ah! Neji-kun...I...I didn't...I was just..." Tenten said who saw Neji as she was hanging around Sasuke like all the other girls.
"...Uchiha Sasuke. I have some things to ask you." Neji said ignoring Tenten for the moment.
"Huh? What is it? I didn't expect you to come here...Let alone for me." Sasuke said as he stood up from his couch.
"We'll talk in private...Without ANY of your fangirls." Neji said as he looked at Tenten, who looked towards the ground the split second that Neji had said that.
"Fine with me...I'll be back in a bit girls." Sasuke said as he left with Neji.
As soon as the two boys left the girls started talking to each other and gigling.
"Hey Tenten. Why do you look so down? Aren't you having a good time?" Ino asked.
"I was but...you see, Neji really likes me and I like him too...but being here with Sasuke just for fun...I think I have hurt his feelings..." Tenten said in a down tone.
"Heh! You like Neji? Never thought of such a thing." Ino said surprised
There was a sudden silence among the girls and then the girls continued to talk and gossip with each other.
"Anyway, to take your mind of things...Have you seen Sakura? I'd expect her to be her." Ino said as she looked around the room to search for her friend and rival.
"No I haven't...I heard Gai-sensei talking about something that happened with Sakura." Tenten replied.
Just then Sakura walked in with a lot of bandages around her head and had a crutch under one of her arms.
"Sakura what happened to you!" Ino and Tenten asked at the same time.
"Naruto and Sasuke-kun got in some kind of fight and I tried to break them up but tripped and fell on my head with a bit of a concusion and slight memory loss...Well that is what Kakashi-sensei told me anyway..." Sakura said.
"Well don't try hogging all of Sasuke-kun's attention just because you are injured!" Ino yelled at her rival.
"...Don't worry. I'll be calm tonight...Tsunade-sama told me to take it easy but I wanted to go here and be with Sasuke-kun anyway." Sakura said as she sat down.
Meanwhile Sasuke and Neji were in the backroom talking about what Neji had on his mind.
"So tell me what is it..." Sasuke asked.
"You are...the most favored with the girls of this town." Neji said. Sasuke looked surprised at Neji, wondering what he was trying to get at.
"What does that matter to you? You want to take my girls away or something?" Sasuke asked.
"No that's not it. I do not care about your fangirls nor do I want a bunch of fangirls behind me, even though I unfortunately have some already...I guess it's fate." Neji replied.
"Then what is it?" Sasuke asked a bit annoyed now.
"I need to conquer a certain woman's heart...and since you have so many fan girls that like you, I wondered if you could help me out." Neji said.
Sasuke couldn't help it but laugh.
"What is so god damn funny!" Neji demanded to know.
"That's all? Well I don't really how I do it...I just use my natural charms and sweet talk to them...Then again I just ignore them during the day because they are too annoying then. Really couldn't you figure it out by yourself?" Sasuke said laughing.
"Heh...I did but I never thought that was all there is to it..." Neji said as he closed his eyes.
"Well it works on most girls...I doubt that many girls need more then that...Some would like you to be real sweet to them...But that's not happening in my case. I just can get them lining up behind me by just being who I am." Sasuke replied.
"...Whatever. I found out what I wanted so we're done talking." Neji said as he walked away, back to the dance floor. Sasuke grinned and then followed him. Neji headed towards the drinks at the bar, thus passing by the Sasuke fangirls.
"Neji! Wait please!" Tenten said as she quickly got up and followed Neji.
Sasuke then walked by and sat down on the couch.
"Sakura? You're alive!" Sasuke said as he looked surprised next to him to find Sakura.
"Ofcourse Sasuke-kun! A little head injury and a injured leg won't stop me." Sakura said smiling.
"A little head injury and leg injury !" Sasuke yelled surprised.
"Yeah...Kakashi-sensei told me that you and Naruto were fighting and I tried to break you up but I stumbled and hit my head pretty bad and injured my leg as well." Sakura said smiling for some reason.
"Oh yeah..." Sasuke said, even though he knew that wasn't what really happened. He then layed back and all te girls were instantly swarming around him again.
"Neji please!" Tenten begged as Neji just ignored her.
"Please Neji...I didn't mean to hurt your feelings!" Tenten continued.
"Tenten..." Neji said.
Tenten looked relieved as Neji finally said something to her again.
"It wasn't that you hurt my feelings. It's just that you..." Neji said as he looked Tenten.
However as he saw her saddened eye he stopped talking for a moment before finishing his sentence.
"Mean more to me then anyone." Neji lied to comfort Tenten a bit.
"Then...why..." Tenten said with teary eyes.
"Did I ignore you? Because you thought I was pissed off to see you with Sasuke. You should know me better then that." Neji said putting up his usual smile.
"...I'm sorry." Tenten replied.
"Don't worry about it anymore." Neji said.
"Thank you...Neji...Do you want to dance with me?" Tenten asked.
"I don't do it often so consider it a special treat." Neji answered.
However just then two well matured girls entered the Night Club, each holding a ghettoblaster. Everyone couldn't help but notice it as there was a sudden silence in the entire club. The two girls each pressed the play button on the ghettoblaster and instantly a familiar tone came from it's speakers. "I don't know what you heard about me, but a bitch can't get a dollar out of me." The first couple of lines echoed trough the club.
As the song continued Naruto walked in being carried by six beautifull woman, each wearing different exposing outfits. All the guys in the club drooled at the site of the ladies and a lot of the ladies in the club were also drooling about Naruto's new outfit.
"Sup ladies." Naruto said as he got off the hands of the girls that were excorting him to the club.
Instantly all the Sasuke fangirls, except for Sakura, ran to Naruto and were now swarming around him.
"Yeah girls you can all have a bit of me later." Naruto said smiling as he walked trough them along with his escorts.
"Yo Sasuke, Sakura-chan." Naruto said then realising what he just said wasn't right so he looked again.
"Sakura-chan! You're alive!" Naruto said surprised.
"Yeah it was 'just' a small head injury, remember Naruto." Sasuke said while glaring at Naruto.
"No it was...Oh yeah now I remember! So how are you feeling Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked as he realised that she lost memory of what happened.
"I'm ok.Just need to take it easy." Sakura replied smiling polite. Sasuke then stood up and went to the bar to get something to drink.
"Oi Naruto! That's some fine escort that you have there!" Kiba said as he sniffled the girls as a dog, basically copying what Akamaru did right now as well.
"I guess it's too troublesome to ask where you got them..." Shikamaru replied to Kiba's comment.
"But you got to admit Shikamaru, It's quite impressive that Naruto can do this. It's really pimpin' " Chouji said as he opened another bag of chips.
Shikamaru stared at Chouji like he had just gone crazy or something.
Neji walked towards Naruto and the others, then suddenly it hit him.
"Oi Naruto." Neji said.
"Yo Neji! I didn't expect to see you here. How's it going?" Naruto said cheerful.
"Well I have a favor to ask you." Neji said.
"A favor? What kind of favor? If you need money it's no problem." Naruto said smiling.
"No I need to lend your escort for a while." Neji said and Tenten heard this and instantly pulled Neji's sleeve. Neji turned around and pulled Tenten closer to him so he could whisper in her ears.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything with them that would make you jealous. Unless I really have to...What I do NOT hope..." Neji whispered. Tenten looked worried for a second on Neji and then she nodded that she trusted him.
"So Naruto...Can I?" Neji asked.
"Hmm...I don't know..." Naruto said thinking it over.
"We wouldn't mind it Naruto-kun." One of the girls said.
"Yeah!" The others replied at the same time.
"Alright then...Just er...be careful with them." Naruto said smiling as he gave a wink to Neji. Neji blinked with his eyes and hoped for Naruto's sake that he didn't think Neji was going to do something with them.
"Well then let's go...I'll see you in a few minutes Tenten." Neji said to make sure that Tenten wouldn't go all emotional on him on leaving with a bunch of hot dressed girls.
As they got in the back room, the girls sat Neji down and began to caress him, put their hands trough their hair and all kinds of things like that.
"Uhm ladies..." Neji said with a slight blush on his face from what they were doing.
"Yes what is it?" One of them asked.
"We can do anything for you, you know..." Another whispered into his ear. Neji closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind of anything that he thought of he could do with the girls aside from what he wanted to.
"I want you all to help me find out how to conquer a woman's heart." Neji replied with his eyes closed. Every motion in the room stopped and all the girls looked shocked at and confused the youngHyuuga.
"Well uhm..." One of them said looking at her fellow friends.
"Ofcourse we can...but..." Another said.
"You'll have to repay us for what we'll teach you." A girl to Neji's left said.
"I'll do anything to find out what it takes to win a girl's heart!" Neji said.
All the girls in the room grinned and then they jumped onto Neji and started telling and showing him what a girl likes and wants in general. Meanwhile Naruto was pimping the dance floor. He shared his newly bunch of aquired fangirls with the other guys, however Sasuke was enraged that Naruto had more then he had. After all he only had Sakura, who was constantly being admired by Lee as well.
"Nope...This isn't really a good night for me at all..." Sasuke thought as he looked at Lee who was trying to hit on Sakura while comforting Tenten that Neji wasn't doing things with Naruto's escort. He really was pissed off that he had less attention then he deserved. So Sasuke grabbed Sakura's hand and pulled her outside as Lee was busy comforting Tenten.
"Sasuke-kun! What are you doing! I can't walk good without my crutch!" Sakura yelled as Sasuke carried her outside.
"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yelled once more as Sasuke put her against the wall outside.
"Shut up you pink hairedwhore and make out with me." Sasuke said as he pulled Sakura towards him again and pressed his lips against hers.
Inside Naruto was showing off his new dance technique, Kage Bunshin no Mai, as MC Hammer's Can't Touch This played. And for once every girl started dancing with him and giving him certain dances.
A/N: Ow come on...You just gotta immagine that one...XD
He then sat down next to Tenten and Lee who were still talking about Neji. It was when all of Naruto's new fan girls started hugging him, kissing him and giving him lapdances that Lee noticed that Sakura and Sasuke were gone. Lee was totally surprised and walked outside where he found Sakura and Sasuke making out. As soon as Lee saw that Sasuke was putting his hands in places, that Lee found inproperate, that Lee used his Konoha Whirlwind to kick Sasuke away.
"I don't know how much Sakura-san likes you Sasuke-kun, but I can't allow you to do things like that!" Lee yelled at Sasuke. Sasuke spit out some blood to the ground.
"Lee-san! That's not needed! If I didn't want it I'd stop him!" Sakura yelled.
"Heh...Never mind it...I'm out of here..." Sasuke said as he walked away.
"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yelled but Sasuke didn't reply and just kept walking away.
"Lee-san... I know you probably meant the best for me...But don't do anything like that next time..." Sakura then said to Lee with saddened eyes.
"Sa...Sakura-san...I just...I'm sorry." Lee said.
"...It's ok already...Just carry me back inside, please..." Sakura said andLee brought her back inside, while feeling bad about the fact that he made Sakura sad. Meanwhile the girls were doen with educating Neji about woman.
"Wow...I never knew that." Neji said with widened eyes after hearing everything from them.
"Well that's all there is. Now it's time for you to repay us." One of the girls said as they all stood around Neji in a circle. Neji looked at each and everyone of them with his Byakugan and didn't like the grin they had.
"Come now, please us...We won't do IT with you but you can still...excite us." The girls said. Neji knewing that he was in trouble stood up and wanted to do his Hakkeshou Kaiten.
"Kaiten!" Neji said as he tried to rotate but was stopped in his tracks as his hands hit the breasts of the girls.
"Ah! I can't use Kaiten!" Neji said.
"Come dear Neji...Let us enjoy this to the fullest..." The girls said as they grabbed Neji's arms and legs and were clinging themselves to them. Neji was completely swallowed up by the girls. Several minutes later the girls let him go. Most of the girls had a red blush on their face and certain things were cleary visible trough their shirts while others were still giving Neji kisses and such. Neji then got up, beaten and tired, and walked out of the room wondering if it was worth everthing.
As he got back into the main dance floor room, Tenten instantly saw him and all the lipstick marks and cuts in his shirt and she started to cry and wanted to run away.Neji however grabbed her by her arms.
"Tenten wait..." Neji said tired.
"No! You told me that you...you..." Tenten said crying and sniffing. Neji was really tired of this entire day and decided to have the 'what the heck' style, so he pulled Tenten towards him and gave her a long deep kiss on her lips. While slipping his tongue into Tenten's mouth, Neji slowly walked back to the couch with Tenten and sat down.
"Well atleast those girls were right...I'd hate to calm Tenten back then with words..." Neji thought as he remembered what he just learned and put it into practice on Tenten. When he stopped making out with Tenten, she threw her arms around him and hugged him real tight. Neji was too tired to make any remarks about it and just threw his arms around her waist, pulled her closer and let his head rest against hers as he closed his eyes to get some rest. Before Neji knew it, he had fallen asleep with Tenten on his lap and his arms still wrapped around her waist.
The next morning when Neji woke up he found Tenten sleeping next to him.At first he was all sleepy and didn't mind it so he layed back down to get some more sleep.Then suddenly it hit him, Tenten was in HIS bed.
He quickly jumped up and looked at Tenten, who was sleeping as tight as one could.
"How the hell did she get here!" Neji wondered as he looked at Tenten. He got out of his bed and was relieved to find out that he still had all his clothes on.
Neji walked to Tenten's side of the bed and crouched and looked at Tenten's face.
"Now how the hell did you get here in my bed?" Neji sort of asked the sleeping Tenten.
"Neji..." Tenten mumbled in her sleep.
Neji's eyes widened as he thought she was awake, but then he realised she was talking in her sleep.
"What is it?" Neji asked as he stroke her face.
"I want you..." Tenten mumbled in her sleep as she grabbed Neji hand and moved it down her body. Neji first didn't think much about it but then he realised where she was going to put his hand. He quickly withdrew his hand and Tenten rolled over in her sleep.
"...This is pretty bad...Oh well...Better take a shower before she wakes up...Or else she might want to take one with me..." Neji figured as he got back up and and walked to the bathroom.
After he took his shower, he walked back into his room and grabbed a bunch of fresh new clothes. Neji gave Tenten one more look, who was still mumbling about that she loved him in her sleep, before heading out.
Not long after heading into the mainstreet of Konoha, he encountered Naruto who was looking the same as him today.
"What's wrong with you? You look like you have the same problems as I have." Neji said to Naruto,who looked up and looked at Neji.
"Trust me, my problems are probably worse then yours..." Naruto said as he headed to Ichiraku's Ramen.
"Some how I doubt it..." Neji said as he followed Naruto.
Neji sat down next to Naruto and ordered the same type of Ramen as Naruto.He after all had to eat something as breakfast as well.
"So, what's up with you?" Neji asked as he ate his Miso Ramen.
"Well...You don't know this because you were sleeping like a baby last night in Tenten's arms." Naruto said grinning at the last part.
"Know what? And me sleeping in her arms isn't my worst problem..." Neji said.
"No this probably is!" Naruto said laughing as he pulled out a bunch of photo's from his pocket and showed them to Neji.
"This...is me!" Neji asked shocked.
"Yup, that's you drooling over Tenten in your sleep! It's was so hilarious I had to make pictures." Naruto said as he put on his wide fox grin.
"I should kill you...but...Still ain't my main problem...but what don't I know because I happened to be sleeping?" Neji asked Naruto.
"Well...my escorts managed to sneak in some sake...and basically...all hell broke loose then." Naruto said.
"Lee drank Sake again! How much! How were we able to survive! How! How!" Neji asked as he remembered what happened last time when Lee drunk a tiny bit of Sake.
"No Lee refused to drink. But others didn't and well...things didn't end up real good." Naruto explained.
"I still don't get it." Neji said, annoyed that Naruto wouldn't tell him what happened.
"Well, let's just say we all got drunk and crazy and...I ended waking up today in bed with one of my escorts and...Ino..." Naruto said.It was when Neji heared this that something snapped inside him. Neji couldn't help but fall down to the floor and laugh like crazy.
"You slept with Ino!" Neji said laughing.
"Well...if it were just 'sleeping' it would have been such a big problem. But Ino was half naked and my escort was completely butt naked." Naruto said.
Neji tried to hold back his laughter but it wasn't really working.
"And what about you?" Neji asked still snickering between words.
"I had my boxers on...That's all I had on! Not even my night cap!" Naruto said as he continued to eat his Ramen, while Neji cracked up again.
"Oh boy, that seriously made my day...Not too mention that it makes my problems way more serious then yours." Neji said as he tried to eat his Ramen again.
"What are your problems then?" Naruto asked.
"I woke up in bed with Tenten today..." Neji said now fully serious again.
"Huh? What's the big problem about that? We all know you two are going out together." Naruto asked surprised.
"No we don't! Here let me explain it to you..." Neji said and then explained how he was going to tell Tenten he liked someone and that she misunderstood him, thus thought that Neji liked her.
"Oh! Neji you sly old dog! So you're using Tenten untill you can get it on with that girl! I can't agree to it but it's still slick." Naruto said smiling.
"I'm not using her, but Tenten really likes me and I don't really want to hurt her feelings, now that she's so emotional and all." Neji said.
"Is that so? But who do you like then?" Naruto asked.
"Well..uhm...You know that one lady from the second chuunin exam?" Neji said with his eyes closed.
"Huh? Who dattebayo!" Naruto asked a bit confused.
"...The one you impersonated with that goofy dance or whatever of yours at then beginning at the 2nd sexam." Neji said with a slight red blush on his face.
Naruto just ate a bit of Ramen and it instantly came back out of his nose when he heared this.
"YOU LIKE HER!" Naruto yelled surprised and started laughing.
Neji silently continued to eat his ramen as Naruto had his moment of laughing for the day.
"Are you serious about this?" Naruto asked with a large grin on his face.
"As serious as Tenten being in love with me." Neji replied as he continued eating.
"I see! That's why you needed to ask my escorts something yesterday! You wanted to know what to do!" Naruto said feeling bright as he ordered a new bowl of Ramen.
"Yeah...and I've learned quite the bunch...It took a toll on me however..." Neji said, remembering what happened last night, as he shivered of the thought what they made him do.
"Well don't worry! We'll go and see what we can do." Naruto said as he started on his next bowl of Ramen.
"Don't tell anyone though...Rumors spread faster then fire in this town..." Neji replied as he finished his bowl of Ramen.
"Well you just don't tell anyone I slept with Ino and that stripper at the same time...Even though I'm sure all the girls in town will know by this afternoon..." Naruto said letting out a sigh.
"Well I'm off then, take care Naruto and see you in the afternoon...Hopefully you'll have a plan to help me out by then. I'll try to think up something for your problem as well to make it really good." Neji said smiling. Naruto waved Neji goodbye and he did the same as he was heading back to the Hyuuga mansion where Tenten most likely still was.
A/N: One crazy chapter, no? Next chapter we'll have some NaruHina stuff and Jiraiya will find himself peeking at the right time and the right place XP