Author's notes: Some violence and strong language!
After playing hide and seek along the way, Selmak finally made it to Jack's office. Not that anyone noticed her running through the tunnels. With the alarms sounding off, everyone was in a hurry to get from point A to point B. Problem was Jack must be at point B because he wasn't in his office and the lights were off. Selmak didn't like the darkness. It was always so lonely in the darkness. Plus, she had this unexplainable fear of the dark now.
So she hurried towards the meeting room with the big table because the lights were on in there. She remembered important things went on in there. She was just as lonely in there as Jack's office until she noticed the windows. With the curiosity of a child, she was drawn to them. However, she couldn't see out them because she was too short even when she stood on her tiptoes. So, Selmak rolled one of the chairs over and climbed onto it so that she could see.
She was disappointed. It was just a big room with the Stargate. Pfft! How boring! Then she noticed a lot of commotion below. People were moving around and talking animatedly. Oh, it was Jack! And there was Sam and Daniel! Even TEAL'C was down there! And Mark!
Then Selmak spotted him! Her heartbeat skipped with growing excitement and she started pounding her little fists on the thick glass.
"Daddy!" she called out then was totally aghast at what just came out of her mouth!
Selmak fell back into the chair, covering her mouth with both hands! She was absolutely mortified how that word involuntarily erupted from her vocal cords. It was like her mouth had a mind of its own! There was no way in hell she would willing call Jacob Daddy! Not even as a joke!
Slowly getting back up, she peaked down to see that no one noticed her pounding on the glass. Good! At least her humiliation wasn't witnessed by anyone. However, seeing Jacob again…that urge to call him Daddy was stronger than ever. She felt like biting her tongue to keep herself from speaking!
Then Jacob suddenly collapsed!
"No…please!" she gasped thinking the worst.
Selmak pressed her forehead against to glass trying to get a better view. A huge sigh of relief escaped her lungs when she saw he was conscious. And while that desire to call him daddy still lingered, the desire to protect him and take care of him was stronger. She never ever wanted to see Jacob suffering. And he was suffering at the moment because she could see he was upset, maybe even crying. Selmak knew Jacob never cried unless he had a good reason. At least, she believed that he would never cry unless he had a very good reason. From what she could remembered, Jacob was a man's man! Macho men don't cry.
Suddenly Jacob started yelling! Selmak started trembling! She even fogged up the window because she was breathing so fast! He was really mad! He was mad at her! She knew it! Who else would he be mad at except her! But then Jacob tackled Jack to the ground. He had his hands on Jack's neck. Selmak felt some relief. And she did warn Jack to not crack jokes at Jacob about her being a girl symbot or symboat or…whatever.
Selmak giggled as Teal'c grabbed Dad…no Jacob with both arms and lifted him up off Jack! Wow! Jacob was really pissed off! Selmak couldn't hear because the glass was too thick but she could read his lips. Jacob learned to curse very well in her Goa'uld dialect! At least, what she could remember of it!
"Some needs to wash their mouth with a bar of soap!" she giggled to herself.
There was more talking. Then Jacob started laughing. Only he didn't look happy…he looked very sad and tired. General Jack was talking with his hands, well for her point of view he was talking with his hands. Because he pointed and they all started walking out of sight. Selmak pressed her head against to glass but couldn't see where they had gone.
Then after a few moments she heard Jacob's voice reverberate up the staircase behind her.
"I don't need a fucking doctor! I want some answers!"
Selmak jumped off the chair and started crying. Jacob was so angry! She knew it was because of her this time. She was always good at pissing him off, she remembered that much. Only she couldn't remember why he was so pissed at her this time.
"Ok, Jake…calm down. We'll just go upstairs to the briefing room," Jack calmly stated.
She couldn't let them see her! She wasn't even supposed to have left her room! She had to hide! Selmak ran for Jack's office! Only she stubbed her toe on the carpet. She didn't have any shoes on so the rug burned her little big toe. Even more tears streamed down her cheeks.
Then the voices were closer. Jack even said Dr. Brightman was coming. Shit! Selmak was never going to get away from that bitch! Crawling as fast as she could, Selmak hurried into Jack's office and hid beneath his desk. She held her breath when she heard footsteps coming into the office. Someone was definitely in the office even though the lights didn't come on. Wiping her tears away, she listened to Jack as he talked on the phone.
"This is O'Neill, send Dr. Brightman to the briefing room with her bag of goodies…I don't know, just bring some pain pills and Band-Aids! We found General Carter. Thank you."
Jacob was a General like Jack? Selmak forgot that one. How could Jacob be a General, he was younger than Jack was? Wasn't he? Fuck! She couldn't even remember how old Jacob was! How would she ever know when to give him a Birthday present?
The moment Jack dropped the phone on the receiver the alarms sounded.
"Unscheduled, incoming traveler!" was announced over the PA system.
"Shit, what is it now?" he growled, picking the phone back up. "Walt, what do we have?…The Tok'ra?…Oh, General Hammond's orders…No, no, I'll be down in a minute!"
Selmak had to cover her mouth to keep from screaming because she was startled by how hard he slammed the phone down.
"Fucking Tok'ra! I hate those guys!" Jack grumbled, yanking open the bottom desk drawer.
Jack pulled something out and slammed the drawer shut. Selmak couldn't see what he grabbed because she was crying. This whole time she thought Jack was her friend. He truly did hate her and her kind! Selmak was suddenly worried about Jacob! She wondered if Jack even had Jacob's best interests at heart. After all, Jacob still is a Tok'ra as far as she was concerned.
Selmak quietly crawled out from beneath the desk. She had to keep an eye out to make sure Jacob was being taken care of properly. Remaining in the shadows, she looked out the door and got a good look at Jacob. He was sitting in a chair near the head of the table with his back to the windows and drinking some water.
He looked so different now that he was awake. Of course earlier she was crying every time she looked at him. He looked better now that she stopped crying and didn't have any tears interfering with her vision. He looked exactly the way she was expecting him to look. And yet, a part of Selmak realized he used to be much, much older. She couldn't explain the contradiction. Only that he was meant to look the way he did now. He was even younger than his son Mark who sat on Jacob's left!
Jack set a T-Shirt on the table in front of Jacob as Dr. Brightman came walking in. Jack went over and was talking to the Doctor, only Selmak couldn't here what they were discussing. Then Jack quickly excused himself. She had mixed feelings for Jack now. She thought he was her friend. He even colored with her. Only his harsh words were still ringing in her ears.
However, Jack did call for the Doctor to come and take care of Jacob. So, maybe he wasn't all that bad. Still, Selmak knew it would be prudent to keep a watchful eye to make sure the Doctor took great care of Jacob. As Selmak sat down, the woman began wiping the dried blood off his chest. A little too roughly for Selmak's liking because Jacob winced, growled, then gave the Doctor a mean glare. Then she made him really growl and curse as she started cleaning up his booboo.
Selmak gasped and fresh tears glistened in her eyes. There was so much blood! And Jacob's color didn't look too good. Along with looking rather pale, he looked exhausted.
"Doc, you stick me with that fucking needle and I swear I'll jam it right up your ass!" Jacob snarled, making Selmak cover her mouth and giggle to herself.
She had forgotten how much Jacob hated doctors!
"Dad, she's only trying to help," Mark insisted.
"How can I trust her?" Jacob countered.
"Dad, Dr. Brightman was ordered to treat your injury, nothing more," Sam added from her seat across from Jacob. Beside her was Daniel and Teal'c.
"It's my special dose of antibiotics and a pain reliever," Brightman smiled sweetly.
That woman would smile sweetly even if she were slicing you open with a scalpel without putting you under anesthesia! Selmak didn't trust her. Neither did Jacob. He grabbed the needle from the doctor and injected himself! Selmak silently cheered, sticking her tongue out, as Dr. Brightman finally retreated, leaving the room.
"So, does someone want to explain to me just what the hell is going on?" Jacob demanded after he gingerly put on the gray T-shirt that had Air Force printed across the chest.
"We will, but it might help to have the right people telling you," Jack said.
"So, who's this…another relative I've forgotten about?" Jacob asked sarcastically.
"He has no recollection of me?" a vaguely familiar voice asked.
Curious, Selmak leaned enough to her left to see Malek standing beside General Jack! Only from what Selmak remembered, Malek's voice didn't sound like that. His voice was supposed to sound different. Then Selmak realized that it was the host's voice speaking. Selmak could tell by his posture that Malek was in control. But he had this bemused look on his face when he looked at Jacob.
"No, things are all messed up in his head," Jack answered, pulling a chair out beside Teal'c. "Take a seat."
"You know, I'm fucking sitting right here!" Jacob snapped, then winced grabbing his side. "Don't talk about me like I don't exist!"
"I'm sorry, Jacob," Malek replied. "My name is Malek. We were…we are brothers in arms with the Tok'ra."
"George thought that Malek could help you," Jack said taking his seat at the head of the table beside Jacob.
"Why? George couldn't help me, what makes you think this guy can?" Jacob asked angrily.
"There's a whole lot you still don't know about yourself," Jack explained. "Apparently, George thought Malek could explain some things to you."
"Sir, Mark doesn't know everything about Selmak and the Tok'ra," Sam said. "I was hoping Dad would have regained his memories and told Mark himself."
Meanwhile, Selmak was thinking she didn't know everything about herself either! And she would like to hear about it too!
"Sam, I'm going to find out one way or another," Mark said. "If what you have to say helps Dad get his memories back then tell him. After all I've been through the past week, I doubt I'll be surprised by anything you have to say."
"Oh, you'll be surprised," Jack added.
"Nothing's going to help unlock my memories," Jacob said sadly. "George basically told my life's history and still I felt as if he was talking about someone else."
"He didn't tell you everything," Sam said.
"Yeah, I kind of figured that out when I woke up to see that thing sitting in front of my face!" Jacob scoffed.
"For the record, George didn't put that snake there," Jack chimed in. "It was those people who shot you! George was trying to save your life."
Judging from the look Jacob's face, he wasn't convinced. So, Mark jumped in.
"Dad, George has been a friend of the family since before I was born. I can remember a number of summer vacations where our two families were together. I could never forget those times! I was the only boy and with three girls to play with. I was forced to play with their toys because they couldn't throw a football."
Selmak saw that Jacob relaxed a little. It was clear he only trusted Mark. Selmak was pleased to see that the bond between father and son had grown strong. Much stronger than she remembered it being. She remembered that the strained relationship with his son was one of many regrets Jacob had.
A wave of sadness overwhelmed her as Selmak suddenly remembered that she had killed Jacob before he had a chance to rectify any of his regrets. No wonder Jacob was so angry. And Selmak couldn't enjoy the one good thing like Jacob bonding with his son because it didn't make up for the mess she made! Wiping her nose on her sleeve, Selmak continued to listen as Sam began to explain about the day her father met Selmak and became a Tok'ra.
"About seven years ago, you were diagnosed with a terminal cancer. You had months to live, maybe not even that. You wouldn't tell me how bad it really was, I just knew it was bad. You were literally on your deathbed when an opportunity presented itself to save your life. In one shot, you were cured of your cancer and the Earth had a new ally called the Tok'ra in our battle against the Goa'uld."
"You said the Tok'ra cured Dad of his cancer," Mark commented. "And as a debt, he had to join them."
"In away that's exactly what happened," Daniel added.
Selmak leaned forward, resting her arms on her legs. She knew this next part was about her and she wanted to see what Jacob's reaction would be.
"It wasn't the Tok'ra in general, it was one Tok'ra," Sam continued. "Selmak's host was dying."
"Her name was Saroosh," Jack commented, making Selmak growl quietly. He had better not crack jokes! Jacob wisely ignored Jack as he was tuned into what Sam was saying.
"Anyway, the Tok'ra needed a host for Selmak. That's where you came in. In exchange for saving your life, you chose to share your body with Selmak. You basically saved each other from death."
"What do you mean by host?" Mark asked.
Selmak could see the fear in Jacob's eyes as he looked at Jack then to the others. He had an idea of what host meant and it terrified him. But she couldn't be upset with him. That fear did save him from becoming a host only a little while ago.
"Malek?" Sam said, suggesting this was his time to explain things.
"A symbiote is an intelligent living being that must take a host to survive. They essentially attach themselves to the host's brainstem and wrap around the neck vertebrae of a human host."
"They're…inside a human body?" Mark asked with sickly look about him.
Selmak saw that Jacob even turned a shade paler and shrank slightly in his seat.
"Yes," Malek nodded. "The Tok'ra hosts and symbiotes live in harmony this way. Each individual is free to voice their opinions…"
"Why the hell would anyone willing do that?" Mark interrupted.
"In exchange for sharing their body with the symbiote, the host can live up to two sometimes three hundred years free of disease and infections. If injured the symbiote can mend broken bones and heal other injuries that are non-life threatening," Malek explained.
"So…who are you? The host or the symbiote?" Mark asked. It was a very good question, a tribute to Jacob's kids being intellectually superior than most other humans. "How do I know who's doing the talking?"
"When the host speaks you hear a normal human voice, when the symbiote speaks, the voice is…different…"
"Different…how?" Jacob immediately asked and Selmak noticed that fear growing within his eyes. Fresh tears filled hers for she realized he had absolutely no recollection of her being his symbiote. Did he remember anything about her?
Malek glanced around. It was Jack who nodded for Malek to continue.
"This is what I sound like when I speak," Malek answered.
"Jesus Christ!" Jacob shouted jumping to his feet and backing away. Mark was right beside him, both men's eyes were wide with shock. "You're one of them! You're just like those people in my dreams…the ones who enjoy to torture…You're not going to stick one of those things in me!"
"For crying out loud! Jake, sit down!" Jack ordered. "Mark, you too! No one's trying to put a snake in your head! I hate the fuckers and would never allow that to happen to you!"
Selmak muffled the sound of her sobs with her arm. This was all too much for her. Jack hated her kind and Jacob…he was terrified of her kind and he had absolutely no memory of her.
After a few agonizing moments, Jacob finally sat back down. He was still uncertain and Selmak could tell he was tense and on the defensive.
"Do…do your eyes glow?" Jacob asked Malek.
"That is correct," Malek smiled. "But Jacob, you are confusing me with a Goa'uld. It is the Goa'uld that you fear. It is they who torture. They who enslave the innocent. When a Goa'uld symbiote invades the host's body it seizes total control and never allows the host control. The host is forced to witness the atrocities the symbiote does and is powerless to prevent them. The war we have fought with the Tau'ri and the Jaffa rebellion was to prevent humans from becoming slaves or worse, hosts to the Goa'uld symtiotes."
"I hope we won that war," Jacob said dryly.
"Me too," Selmak whispered.
"We basically did. The Goa'uld are no longer the threat that they once were," Sam smiled. "You and Selmak had a lot to do with that!"
Selmak smiled, she suddenly remembered that Sam did most of the work during that battle on Dakarah. Although, if Jacob didn't have that ancient gene, the device never would have become activated!
"For seven years, you and Selmak worked with the Tok'ra and with us trying to make the universe a safer place for everyone," Sam continued. Selmak sat up straight, suddenly felling proud even though she couldn't remember all of hers and Jacob's accomplishments. They must have done some good otherwise Sam would have spoken so highly of them! "We had some great times together and some rough times."
"On Dakarah, the final battle with the replicators and the day the Jaffa gained their freedom…none of us knew that Selmak had slipped into a coma. You never told any one…just like most things that trouble you the most, you kept it to yourself! And I didn't even notice. I should have known something was wrong."
"Why didn't you just take Selmak out of him?" Mark asked. "Wouldn't that have saved Dad?"
"When a symbiote dies it releases a deadly toxin into the blood stream," Malek explained. "The Tok'ra do have a means of removing the symbiote without any harm coming to the host. We've also witnessed the symbiote sacrificing itself by dying within the host without causing any harm. Only it requires a lot of energy from the symbiote to do this. Only in Selmak's case…it was too late. The toxin was already slowly releasing into Jacob's blood stream. There was nothing anyone could do. Selmak was dying…and your father was slowly dying from the toxin."
Selmak watched as Jacob digested everything that he had just heard. His face was like stone, she couldn't tell what he was thinking or what he was feeling.
"So you're basically telling me I'm supposed to be dead," Jacob laughed. "You people really had me going! Alien snakes in the head…what a bunch of bullshit! Why can't you people tell me the truth?"
"Dad, it is the truth!" Sam shouted. "Why would I lie about that? Why would I want to put my family through something like that!"
"Jake…you and Selmak died just over two months ago," Daniel spoke adamantly.
"Nice funeral," Jack commented. "Lots of very important people were there."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Jacob asked and Selmak could hear the anger in his voice. It was only a matter of time before it resurfaced again. "If I died, how come I'm sitting right here?"
"Because you didn't just die. Selmak and you ascended to a higher plain of existence," Daniel replied calmly. "You became energy!"
"What…like angels or some stupid shit like that?" Jacob asked. "You people must be really desperate!"
Selmak saw Jacob was getting madder by the second. His jaw was clenched and she noticed that neck vein of his was slightly bulging. Even the crease in his brow was deepening. And he had some color back in his skin.
"Jake, I know what you're going through," Daniel continued quickly. "I've been through it myself. Although, when I returned I was the same age as when I died. But I know how frustrating it's when you can't remember the simple things like your own name, your family or friends!"
"It's beyond frustrating," Jake agreed, through his teeth. "But I still find it more logical that the Air
Force has been experimenting on me…and on my daughter! And that you all are part of an elaborate Government cover up to keep me from discovering the truth!"
"Jake…you did this to yourself," Daniel repeated with a sense of urgency.
Selmak had sat watching them volley back and forth. The whole time her tears were streaming down her cheeks and her little hands balled into fists in her lap. Her body trembled uncontrollably. The moment she dreaded was upon her. She knew Jacob was a stubborn SOB. Convincing him was like trying to realign the planets at times. The only way to convince Jacob of the truth was for it to come from her.
This was a fucking waste of time! Nothing they said made any kind of logical sense! Sentient creatures in people's heads…dying…turning into energy! What a crock! It was all science fiction. This wasn't Star Trek this was the United States Air Force! Ok so maybe those symbiote things were real because he did see one. But he couldn't believe they were intelligent creatures and he sure as hell wasn't going to let them stick one of those things in his head! That trick with Malek's voice was cool and creepy because he had a flash back to one of his nightmares. Shit! The only thing missing from the discussion were the little gray men!
And while everyone was very chatty, no one had answered his question yet! Which meant they probably didn't have an answer or they weren't going to give him an answer. Which in turn only fortified Jake's belief that this was all some kind of Government conspiracy and he was at the center of it. And it really ticked him off that they even managed to brainwash his son with all their bullshit!
That was the final straw! Jake had enough!
"Jake, when we decide to descend from our higher plain of existence we're given a choice," Daniel babbled on.
"Maybe I'm not making myself clear because no one has answered my question! Why would I choose to do this to myself?" Jake roared at them all, slamming his fist on the table for emphasis. "I come back at this age with no memories of who I am or even who my family and friends are? Do you know what kind of pain that's caused me? If everything you say is true…that I died, then returned…why would I choose to do this to myself? More importantly, what the hell did you people do to me and WHY?""
"You didn't…nor did any of them do this to you Jacob…I did it," a child's voice spoke softly.
Jake quickly turned his head towards the direction of the voice. He recognized it from his dreams! It was hers! Out of the shadows came a little girl wearing lavender pajama top and bottoms. Her long blonde hair was a little messy, like she had been sleeping. Her big blue eyes were filled with such sorrow that his heart ached. Huge tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. Of course, Jake recognized every little feature of her face.
"I'm sorry…everything's all my fault," she admitted, anxiously staring at him.
Her little hands fidgeted at her sides. Her small feet uncertain whether to move forward or stay put. All Jake knew was that he needed her in his arms. Somehow, then everything would be all right if he could hold her. After all, she was his daughter and it was up to him to make everything all right.
Grimacing, Jake slowly got to his feet. Damn! Every muscle hurt! He had been sitting down too long! But he wasn't going to allow a little discomfort to stop him. Not when he finally found what he had been searching for. And suddenly, trying to unlock the secrets within his mind was inconsequential to discovering the girl in his dreams was his daughter.
The little girl took a small step back when he approached her. Jake made a quick glance back at everyone. They were all anxious to see what he was going to do. Jack had a damn smirk on his face like he knew some big secret and was bursting to let it out! Jake would deal with him later. He'd deal with them all later. All that matter was his daughter.
"Don't be afraid of me," he smiled kindly. "I'm not angry with you and there's no way I would ever harm you, honey."
He stopped when he was within an arm's length from her then slowly dropped to a knee so he could be at her level. Only her teary blue eyes turned to the floor and her chin dropped. Even her little shoulders shuddered from her sobbing. Hunching down, he could see fresh huge tears in her eyes. He smiled warmly at her as he lifted her head up gently.
"You are exactly as I remember from my dreams," he spoke softly, stroking her long hair. "You were always lost or just out of my reach in my dreams. I searched and searched…and now I've found you."
Jake paused for a moment to take in her beauty. She was such a lovely child…his child. Only what kind of father was he to forget her? He even had forgotten her name. Or did he…there was a name in his dreams. He had forgotten until the others had mentioned it. He was intelligent enough to know that with all Conspiracies there was always a bit of the truth intermixed in them.
"Are…are you Selmak?" he asked her.
Her head nodded slowly then she suddenly flung herself into his chest, wrapping her arms tightly around his chest. For such a little darling she had some strength in her arms! Perhaps that was a testament to her affection for him. That thought only made him want to protect her even more.
"I didn't mean to kill you! I'm sorry!" she wailed, clinging to him.
'My God!' he thought to himself as he held her close. 'What did they tell you about me?'
"You didn't kill me!" he quickly responded, holding her so he could look into her eyes.
"Yes, I did!" she sobbed. "Then I made of mess of things by helping you to ascend! You were so mad at me! I felt so guilty for taking you away from Allison and your family! My punishment was to be sent back with you, so that I could look after you! Only I lost you! I couldn't find you! Then I started losing all my memories!"
She pulled away and he felt the sting of his own tears when she looked up at him. She was in such torment! Far too much for such a young child!
"I've forgotten everything…except for you…I'm begging you to forgive me! Please!" she continued.
Jake closed his eyes while kissing the top of her head. God Dammit! What have they done to her? How he wished he could remember something about her! Anything would be useful to help comfort her! But they took that away the memories of her from him! They took HER from him! At least they didn't take away the desire to protect her.
"I'm sorry…this is all my fault!" she wept looking up at him.
As more of her tears fell, the more incensed he became. First they experimented on him. The results were him losing his memories. That part he could deal with. Only Jake didn't even want to contemplate what they had done to his daughter! How could they make an innocent little girl believe she was responsible for his condition? They even convinced her that she killed him!
He had to get her out of there and NOW!
"Listen to me!" he said, trying to hold his anger in check, not wanting to frighten her. "Sel, listen to me…this is all my fault! Not yours! Do you understand me? You're just a baby! You can't possibly be responsible for what happened to me. And what they told you about me was a lie!"
"Jac…"
"Shh, it's not your fault baby," he repeated, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight against his chest as he got to his feet. "And no one is ever going to take you away from me again!"
He spotted a desk in the shadows. Jake hurried, moving Sel to his right arm as he began opening the drawers. Only an idiot for a General wouldn't have a weapon in his desk.
"Don't be afraid, baby," he cooed to her, feeling her body trembling. "I'm going to take care of you, I promise!"
"But…I'm supposed to take care of you!" she wept, making him smile.
"And you shall," he said, kissing her cheek. "Hold on to me tight, ok?"
"Why?"
"Because we're getting out of here!" he grinned, when his hand finally finding the gun at the back of the desk drawer. Guess Jack wasn't the total idiot Jake pegged him for!
"But we're safe here."
"No, baby…we're not safe," he insisted. "Now, I want you to do what I say and be quiet, hold onto me as tight as you can."
"But…"
"Please, baby…daddy needs to concentrate right now!" he firmly said and she made a face at him like he said something appalling. However, now was not the time to chastise her. So, Jake ignored her gaping mouth and moved her into his left arm so he could hold the gun in his right hand. "Hold on tight, like I told you."
After turning towards the door, Jake saw Sel's eyes opened wider when she spotted the gun in his hand.
"What the hell are you doing?" she asked him.
Jake chuckled. She definitely was his daughter with a mouth like that!
"Grown up stuff, sweetie," he smiled, kissing her cheek. "Now, be quiet, do as I say and I promise, everything's going to be all right."
"But…"
"Not now!" he said more firmly and she immediately closed her mouth. Again, he felt her body trembling. "I'm not mad at you and I would cut off my right arm before I ever hurt you, I swear. You're my baby and I love you…understand?"
"Jake…" Jack called from the doorway before Sel could reply.
"Back away!" Jake growled, forcibly aiming the gun at Jack.
"Whoa! What the…"
"BACK AWAY!" Jake repeated with more urgency.
"Ok, let's just…stay calm," Jack replied with his hands in the air as he moved backwards.
Jake followed him out into the meeting room.
"Dad, what are you doing?" Mark asked, getting to his feet as everyone else got to their feet too!
"What I must…I'm taking my daughter out of here!" Jake answered moving slowly towards the stairs. "You people are sick! I don't know what you did to my baby but I can't allow it to continue!"
"Dad, no one's done anything to Selmak," Sam said.
"God damn! What does it take to get it through that thick head of yours?" Jack snapped.
"ENOUGH!" Jake roared heading backward down the stairs. "I'm not going to allow you to manipulate her mind anymore!"
"I don't feel so good," his daughter said.
"It's all be over soon…I promise," he said, seeing that her round cheeks were flushed.
Jake turned and hurried down the stairs.
"Stay back!" he warned some guy with glass as Jake kept his gun aimed at him.
Then Jake hurried down a small fight of stairs that led to a long corridor. He may not be able to remember his past, but nothing was wrong with his mind. It was sharp and remembered that this corridor would lead him to the elevator.
"JAKE! STOP!" Jack shouted when Jake was half way down the corridor.
Without hesitation, Jake turned and fired the gun. He purposely shot at the light on the wall above Jack's head making him duck for cover.
"Next time, I won't miss!" Jake warned.
"Daddy, look out!"
His little girl's cry warned Jake in time to prepare his arm for the blow enabling him to keep a hold on the gun. He didn't want to but he had to let go of Sel, quickly letting her slid down to the floor gently before engaging the SF.
Knowing he didn't have much time before reinforcements arrived, Jake quickly brought his knee up to the SF's groin and the man went down instantly. Only before Jake was able to turn and pick up his daughter again, he was tackled from behind.
A sharp stabbing pain shot through his right side when he hit the ground! Jake found it difficult to breathe because of the pain and the man's weight on top of him. And while gasping for air, he saw the gun skidding across the floor away from him and he could hear his daughter's desperate cries. Then suddenly Sel came into his view as she hurried to the gun.
"SEL! NO!" he yelled at her but she picked the gun up anyway.
"YOU'RE HURTING HIM! LEAVE HIM ALONE!" she screamed, pointing the gun with her two little hands at his attacker.
The SF relaxed enough for Jake to push up off the ground and turning the tables. He pounded the man's face until he stopped moving. Quickly returning his attention to his daughter, Jake saw that Jack was almost upon her.
"Don't you touch her!" Jake growled, climbing to his feet.
Jake ended up reaching for the gun just after Jack already had yanked it away from Sel! And in that instant, the gun fired, Sel screamed, and Jack had a look of total shock on his face. Staggering back, Jake looked down to see fresh blood soaking the shirt in the area of his stomach. Strange, he didn't feel a thing! One more step backward and his legs gave way causing him to collapse onto the floor.
His little girl's teary-eyed face was quick to appear above his. He started crying too…he failed her…again.
"I'm sorry!" she wept, holding his arm.
"No, baby…"
"No! Everything's all my fault!" she wailed.
Forcing his eyes to stay open, Jake managed to grab hold of her.
"You listen to me! None of this was your fault!" he told her.
"Please…please forgive me!"
"Sel…baby…look at me!" he firmly said. "Look at me!" She stopped sniffling enough so she could look at him. "There's nothing to forgive! You didn't kill me! Not before…and not now. As your father, I am ordering you to quit blaming yourself! All this was my fault and mine alone…understand?"
She quickly nodded her head.
"That's my good girl," he smiled, through his tears as the darkness was slowly creeping in. "Sel, always remember…I love you. Can you do that for me? Never forget how much I love you."
"I love you too!" she wept.
"You won't forget?"
"I never have," she smiled.
Content, Jake allowed himself to succumb to the darkness.
All Jack could think of was getting the gun away from Selmak. His kid dying from a gunshot wound was bad enough and it was something he had barely lived through. He knew he would never forgive himself if Selmak accidentally shot herself.
In his haste, Jack wasn't prepared for how fast Jake could incapacitate the SF and reach Selmak. Hell, Jack and no one else were even prepared for Jake to react the way he did after he saw Selmak! This entire morning was a fucking nightmare, going from bad to worse to totally fucked!
First the Trust infiltrate the SGC, damn near succeeding in sneaking a snake into Jake's head, Jake and Selmak both disappear, then Jack nearly gets choked to death, and they fail to convince Jake of his condition. Accidentally, shooting Jake was just the exclamation point at the end of a totally fucked up morning!
"GET A MEDIC!" Jack shouted at the other's who were hurrying down the corridor in his direction.
Teal'c stopped and quickly did as Jack ordered. Moments later, Walt's voice sounded over the PA system calling for Brightman and her team. Jack numbly watched as Selmak was in tears listening to Jake. No one even dared break them up, not even after Jake lost conscious. Jack…he didn't even know what to tell her. Nothing seemed adequate.
After a long moment, Selmak looked up at him. Pure hatred showed in her deep blue eyes through her tears.
"Selmak…I'm sorry…" he started to say.
"Shut up! Just shut up!" she roared at him. "I heard you…you said you hated the Tok'ra! I'm Tok'ra…Jacob's Tok'ra…"
"Selmak, it was an accident!" Sam quickly inserted.
"That doesn't take back what Jack said!" Selmak shouted as Dr. Brightman and her team arrived. Selmak threw herself over Jake's body. "GET AWAY FROM HIM! YOU'RE NOT TO TOUCH HIM!" Then Selmak's anger was gone as she turned to Malek. "Malek…please…he's still alive! I know you can save him! Please!"
"Sir?" Brightman questioned, even as Malek was already kneeling down beside Jake and gently lifting Selmak off Jake.
Jack signaled Brightman and her team to standby.
Malek didn't hesitate to do as Selmak asked. He was so worried about her. Never before had he seen her so distraught. Nor had he ever witnessed such desperation in Jacob. Once Malek quickly got over the shock of see his friend changed into a young man he was resolved to doing what he could to help both of he dearest friends!
"The bullet passed through," he said after moving Jacob's body enough to look at his backside. Pulling the hand healing device out from his pouch, he smiled to Selmak, "I thought to bring it remembering how accident prone you and Jacob always were."
Selmak smiled at him in appreciation then grabbed hold of Jacob's hand. Her big blue eyes watch intently as Malek activated the healing device. He had healed far worse injuries so he was supremely confident he could heal Jacob's.
Twenty minutes later, Malek deactivated the device and Selmak quickly lifted Jacob's shirt. His stomach and lower abdomen were a still little pink where his injuries were but that was a natural side effect of the hand device. The skin color would return to normal by the time that Jacob regained consciousness. But the bruises on his ribcage were gone, as were the cuts and bruises on his friend's face.
"Wow!" Jacob's son exclaimed with his mouth open. He reminded Malek of Jacob when he too first witness the use of Tok'ra technology for the first time.
"Thank you," Selmak smiled to Malek, still clinging to Jacob's hand. Looking up at Jack. "Your people can take him to the infirmary now. He will regain consciousness in a few hours."
"Selmak…it was an accident," Malek said, noticing that flash of anger in her eyes when she looked at Jack.
"But Jack said that he 'hated' the Tok'ra," she hissed, letting go of Jacob's hand as Dr. Brightman and her team placed him on a stretcher.
"That may be true, however I know he does not hate you, nor does he hate Jacob. When I arrived, General O'Neill was genuinely concerned for you and Jacob and asked me to do what I could to help…both of you. Now, you, of all people, know I cannot be easily fooled."
Selmak cursed in Goa'uld making Malek smile. One thing about Selmak was that she hated making mistakes, though they were rare and few. However, she was humble just enough to apologize whenever she made one.
"Sorry," she said looking up at Jack with this annoyed look on her face.
"Selmak, put a little more effort into it," Malek gently scolded.
Selmak rolled her eyes.
"No, Malek…it's alright," Jack interjected. "Selmak, I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said what I did. I never meant to hurt you or Jake."
"Well…you're lucky I won't remember any of this!" she countered making Jack wince. Then her tone softened. "But I did enjoy our time together coloring in my books."
"Something I hope we can still do," Jack smiled, extending his hand in friendship.
"You had just better not crack jokes about me being a girl symbot to Jacob! Else he might choke you just like he did earlier!" she smiled back, shaking his hand. "Now, if anyone objects…I'm exhausted and my head is killing me…"
Malek was quick to catch Selmak before she collapsed onto the floor.
"It's ok…this is what's been happening to her as she loses her memories," Jack informed Malek as he rose to his feet with Selmak in his arms.
"Don't worry Malek…" she smiled weakly. "It doesn't matter…I know now that Jacob is happy. Once he regains consciousness, he'll be happy. It doesn't matter whether he gets his memories back or not…he knows I care for him and that's all that matters."
"Should I tell him you said that?" Malek asked cradling her in his arms.
Selmak didn't reply. Instead her eyes closed and her body started convulsing. Malek, unsure of what to do looked to the others. Their faces were filled with such sorrow.
"Let's get her to the infirmary so the Doc can monitor her," Jack suggested.
A month ago, Mark would have laughed his ass off if someone told him he would meet aliens, learn that his dad had one in his head, had a baby sister who used to be an alien, and that his dad would comeback from the dead as a young man. Only standing beside Sam in their father's room watching him sleep after what happened this morning, Mark wasn't laughing. In fact, he was so relieved that everything was going to be ok that he felt like crying.
And while standing there, glancing over to see Sel was sleeping comfortably everything suddenly made sense. Now that he had to laugh at because he was the only one that got it. They were all trying to figure out why Sel was losing her memories and why his father couldn't remember his. While Mark couldn't understand why his father couldn't remember things, he figured out why Sel was losing hers. And he understood why his father chose to return as a young man.
"After a thorough exam, I can find nothing wrong with Jacob's brainwaves," Malek informed to Dr. Brightman. "They are not…out of 'whack', as General O'Neill put."
"But General Carter's current brainwave pattern doesn't match the pattern recorded prior to his death," Brightman countered, looking up from the monitor where Jacob's current and past brainwave patterns were displayed. "Your brainwave pattern doesn't just change overnight!"
"Unless you ascend then descend," Jack commented. "The ascended must have altered Jake's brainwaves."
"At this rate, anything's possible," Mark added.
"Dr. Brightman, before his death, Jacob and Selmak's minds were separate. You could isolate one from the other," Malek continued to explain while typing on the keyboard in front of Dr. Brightman. "The two have essential fused together. Jacob's pattern is the more dominant of the two."
Mark, along with the others looked at the monitor. On the top half of the monitor were Dad's brainwaves and Selmak's brainwaves. Both were separate from each other and Mark could see how different they were. On the bottom half of the monitor was Dad's current brainwave output. Now Mark wasn't a doctor but he did recognize the two separate patterns in the one. It wasn't a perfect match and Dad's pattern was indeed more dominant. As far as Mark was concerned, it had to be in order for Dad to be Dad.
"I'll be damned…he's right," Brightman agreed. "I'm sorry…I didn't think of this before."
"Quite alright, Doctor," Jack smiled. "Thor was even a little surprised when he came up with that conclusion."
"Sir?"
A beam of white light suddenly shot down beside where Mark was standing, scaring the hell out of him. Then he quickly realized he was the only one who acted surprised and tried to remain calm. It was difficult; all this was still new to him. And Mark was at his wits end; he didn't know how many more surprises he could take.
However when the light disappeared to reveal a little gray man, Mark stood there in child like awe. He couldn't believe his eyes! The little guy looked like the pictures of those aliens that supposedly landed in Roswell! Which meant…holy shit! They really existed!
"Mark, this is Thor, Supreme Commander of the Asgard," Sam smiled. "Thor, this is my brother, Mark."
"I am pleased to meet you," Thor replied, extending his hand in friendship.
"Likewise," Mark said, tentatively shaking Thor's hand.
It seemed so fragile when you looked at it but the little guy had a firm grip. But all Mark could think about was that was shaking an alien's hand! And how cool it was! WOW! Too bad Melissa was watching the kids. She would have gotten a kick out of Thor!
"O'Neill. I have completed my scans," Thor spoke after he released Mark's hand. "There is no way I can remove the symbiotes memories from Jacob Carter's mind. They're integrated with his own."
"Good! You don't want to take Sel's memories away from Dad!" Mark exclaimed. "If you did, Sel would be gone forever! I don't think Dad would want that!"
"Mark, relax," Jack said calmly. "No one's doing anything to your Dad."
"Thor did you find an explanation for why Dad can't recall his memories?" Sam asked.
"Jacob Carter is in superior health to any of your kind," Thor answered. "His immune system is impervious to all of Earth's diseases, even the common cold. All of his major organs are in perfect condition. If he sustains his body correctly he would be capable of living for a very long time. Therefore, I can only conclude that the memory block is psychological…his subconscious may not want to remember."
"Why wouldn't he want to remember?" Sam asked and Mark could easily think of a few reasons why. The rocky relationship between him and his father being near the top of that list.
"Maybe Dad just needs more time around familiar people," Mark suggested, trying to remain positive. "Now that his injuries are healed and he's not on the run, he should be thinking more rationally…maybe he'll begin remembering now."
"That is a logical conclusion," Thor praised Mark.
"Would you expect anything less from one of Jake's kids!" Jack commented proudly. "So it's settled. Dr. Brightman, just make Jake as comfortable as possible until he regains consciousness, which should be…"
"Not for several more hours," Malek finished. "With an internal injury such as the one Jacob sustained, the body requires rest after the healing process."
"Good, let's give Dad time," Jack continued. "Thor thank you for all your help."
"It was my pleasure, O'Neill," Thor replied then disappeared in a beam of light.
After a moment of awe, Mark turned to Jack.
"You know Jack, you better marry my sister if you're going to keep calling him Dad!" Mark smiled, winking at Sam. He noticed how his sister and Jack felt about each other…it was only a matter of time before the two got hitched.
"I know I act like a kid at times but don't you think Sel's a little too young for me?" Jack joked, making Sam slap his arm with a huge smile on her face.
"Of course…we won't be able to call him Dad…will we?" Mark questioned.
"No, but you came up with his cover story," Sam smiled.
"At least Sel will be able to call him Dad," Mark sighed.
"She already did!" Jack exclaimed. "And she was grumbling about having Jacob's DNA floating through her veins."
"Dr. Brightman, you said you couldn't find a reason for Sel losing her memories, right?" Mark asked. "Well I think I've found one. And I believe I figured out why Dad came back as a young man."
"What?" Sam asked as Mark moved over and sat on Sel's better.
Mark smiled, stroking Sel's long blonde hair. "He came back to be a father again. Sel came back to be his daughter. Now whose to say whose idea it actually was is still a mystery. But the fact is that in order for Dad to be a Dad to such a young child he would have to comeback as a young man. It would be the only way to ensure he would be able to take care of her until she was fully-grown and then some. And Sel…well she couldn't be a real kid if she had all her memories…could she?"
"That…makes sense…in a weird kind of way," Jack said. "You might want to tell Jacob that Mark, because I have a feeling he'll shoot me for what I did earlier. If not for that, he'll eventually shoot me when I ask him permission to marry his daughter…Sam!"
Mark laughed, as did everyone else.
"Come on Mark…I need you to sign a stack of papers before I can release you and your family," Jack smiled putting his arm around Mark's shoulders. "Sam, you coming?"
"No, I think I'll stay with Dad," she smiled. "I want to be with him when he wakes up."
"Call me when he does," Mark asked of his sister.
"Of course."
"Malek, we have a room for you if you want to hang around until Jacob wakes up," Jack offered kindly as Mark stepped out into the hallway.
"I would like that very much, thank you."
"So…Malek…can I ask you a question?" Mark requested.
"Sure."
"Isn't it a little cramped in there? I mean, we don't have that much extra space in our heads! How do you guys fit?"
"It is something we quickly get used to. Even the host must get used to feeling the pressure of the symbiote's body. However, your father often told me that Selmak was a pain in the neck and whenever they argued it gave him a headache!" Malek smiled, making Mark laugh.
Mark continued questioning Malek. He wanted to know as much as he could about what it was like for his father to be a Tok'ra, just in case his father was unable to recover his memories. And he asked as many questions about Selmak as he could too.
The more Mark listened, the more he understood why his father was so protective of Selmak and she of him. They were constant companions…the best of friends. She sounded like the perfect match for him. Someone who could keep the man in line…much like Mark's mother did.
Plus, it gave Mark a great deal of comfort knowing that his father and Selmak were together when they died. No one should ever have to die alone.