Chapter 9: What I think about you

For the moment it was peaceful, though even he wasn't naïve (or optimistic) enough to believe that it would all last. Just as the end to the Civil War had only resulted in a temporary truce before Prozen tried to kill them all, and destroying the Deathsaurer the first time around had only managed to achieve four years of peace before Hiltz decided to try again and the white-haired bastard he served had decided to re-establish his existence. Of course, there was also the time before he had a zoid at all, spent running on a motorised board from the various forces he'd encountered, as well as before he could remember, when his own dad was blown to smithereens. Now, add this, and anyone would have to admit that Van Flyheight, brown-haired black-eyed zoid pilot, had led a pretty hectic twenty years of life.

Well, except maybe someone whose life was probably just that little bit more traumatic. Not that he cared to know or anything…

He was sitting on the bed cross-legged, hand absently patting the top of Shadow's head while the organoid growled softly. Plans of escape were still reeling through his head –some of them the most inventive that he'd ever though up– though they had all been dismissed by either Raven, Ryss or Rudolph. Damn them, damn them all for not waking him up sooner so that he could sneak away quietly, so that he would not have to receive a thrashing from Moonbei, jibes from Irvine and those sweet, calculating eyes of Fiona. And what if Thomas was there? It was a plausible thought, since the mechanics genius was smitten with the blonde Zoidian. He would not get away with leaving her so easily.

And Fiona? What would she say? That girl was not innocent, anymore than he was. No one should be able to announce and implement the sacrifice of all the zoids –and Zoidians– on the planet so calmly. At least, not a normal eighteen-year-old girl with ninety-five percent of her memories missing. But she had, and it had prompted him to re-evaluate what he thought he knew about her, though it probably wasn't fair to her. Alisi Lynette… Fiona's other half. The zoidian who'd lived and made mistakes so long ago, with the power to destroy or save the world. Or at least to destroy his life. If she'd finished the job properly at Zoideve…

Well. He'd be heartbroken, and wouldn't have any of the current problems he faced. Crap.

Flopping down backwards into a soft mattress, he covered a hand with one arm. This was too much trouble, and he didn't want it just after he'd woken up. Well, hell, he didn't want it any time, but right now was too much to bear. Really. He was tired from the effort of breaking a coma, he was sore from surviving his zoid exploding, he was edgy from not moving for a month, and why didn't the accursed imperial hospital have a slice of fresh papaya for him to eat? Even smell… he would make do with only smelling it for now, as long as there was some.

The bed sunk and squeaked when a pile of metal put it's head on, nuzzling his hand. A sneeze; Van looked over in surprise. Sure, the bandages were covered in powder, but he didn't think that organoids could sneeze, or at least be affected. He chuckled at the sight of the huge black zoid pawing at his muzzle, vainly attempting to rid himself of the white coating while worsening the effect on his nose. Shadow kept on sneezing, and the pilot kept on laughing, until the human at least regained some self control and wiped sable clean with one sleeve. Sensing the smugness radiating from that stack of steel, he realised that he was /happy/ now, twice over.

The organoid deserved a pat on the back. He got one on the wings instead.

When his palm moved over one of the sharper joints in the zoid, he found himself thinking back to the first time he'd woken up, and the feel of metal pressing into him. "Shadow? The first time I woke up… what happened?"

/Your circuits blew and stopped./

"My… okay." He was still getting his head around the whole emotionally-inept organoid thing. Did he have this much trouble with Zeke before? He couldn't even remember now, though he was sure he hadn't. Maybe it was just because the black zoid had been traveling with someone as expressive as a cliff face that was about to be smashed. Less, even. "You mean my heart stopped."

A look of consideration. /If that's what you call it. Then they started again, and you went back to sleep./

"I remember getting hit in the face–"

/To restart your… heart./

"Well, I suppose that's justified then," commented Van wryly, rubbing his abused cheek. Was that a bruise swelling up? Some hit. "Who was it that hit me anyway? I have to return the favour sometime."

/…/

"You? Ryss? Rudolph?" The organoid looked away and pretended to whistle instead of replying. "Surely not–"

"Van-sama, the Guardian Force delegation is awaiting your arrival," announced a guard from outside, conveniently sparing the zoid from answering. Sighing, the pilot shot him a scary look that read 'I'll get you later, Shaaaadddddooooww!' before creakily standing. Looking down at the hospital clothes in resignation, he didn't notice the pile of metal scurry away through the door. He stretched and made for the door, only to find it opened before he could touch the door knob. Stifling a sound of surprise, he stared at the black-lined violet eyes until a pile of clothes were shoved into his face. The door slammed in his face.

He blinked confusedly for a minute, before the second prompting of the guard woke him up. With a smile, he rid himself of the pinstriped pajamas and pulled on the familiar uniform, then stepped outside. He felt ready to face anything now.

ZOIDSZOIDSZOIDSZOIDSZOIDSZOIDSZOIDSZOIDSZOIDSZOIDSZOIDSZOIDSZOIDSZOIDS

"Don't look so anxious, Fiona," coaxed Moonbei as they waited in the lavish chambers the zoidian had been given. Silky golden curtains floating over giant leafy ferns placed in the limelight, complementing artistic paintings set in ebony frames that matched the rest of the uber-stylish furniture, including a king-sized bed lavishly adorned with all the goods… Had she been younger, the money-loving transporter would have squealed. That little brat of an emperor really knew how to please a girl (woman). Lucky she'd let him keep his ring then, eh? Otherwise, he'd never be able to afford this level of luxury for his honoured guests, and she would never have made it to the privilege of being treated by a monarch.

But it obviously hadn't made an impact on her companion, who was staring morosely at her glove-covered hands. Once again, the former transporter tried to cheer her up. "It's alright. He's just a little derailed right now, nothing a good talking-to won't fix. Stop worrying so much."

"No, it's not alright," replied Fiona softly. "He destroyed over 300 of the Guardian Force's new zooids, as well as destroying the base they were guarding. That's not the Van that I know."

"I was wondering about that myself," commented Moonbei thoughtfully. "Why were there that many zoids around just one new base? If the GF have that many to use on the one base, why not split some off to other bases in areas where bandits have practically taken over?"

"Oh… that." Looking to the side, the zoidian said, "I think it's so that the new base could be properly established. Besides that, they might have had news on the Genobreaker's whereabouts, and felt the need to be cautious. Obviously, it was justified."

"Well, when you put it that way I suppose you can't call it overkill."

"No, you can't. Raven's proven that he's just as ruthless as ever. We can't relax yet."

"I thought that he'd change and all, after everything everyone's been through," Moonbei sighed. "He did help Van break through the Deathsaurer's shield."

"We've only Van's word for that."

"You don't think that he'd lie for him, do you? I mean, this is Raven that we're talking about. Those two aren't exactly the best of pals."

Fiona sighed. "After everything that's happened, I don't know what to think anymore."

Evidently, the blonde had sunk into thought again. Sighing, Moonbei glared at the door and said, "You can stop eavesdropping and come in now."

The door opened, and her on-off boyfriend walked in, wearing a white shirt and black jeans and a bored expression, not at all abashed that he'd been caught. The eye-patch swiveled to focus on the zoidian, though his voice gave no indication that he noticed her state. "You ready to go yet?"

"Geez, Irvine. Give us a few more minutes, will ya?" She gestured to a subdued Fiona. "She's not exactly happy with Van."

"Neither am I," retorted Irvine. "I'm definitely planning to give him a piece of my mind, then hunt down that bastard Raven and give him another."

"Stop acting all tough, you'll get yourself hurt," scoffed the transporter. "Raven's not to be messed with while we're here on visa. Besides, I think that you'd be the one to sport the black eye and bandages."

"You trying to say something, Moonbei?" Before she could answer, he sighed, "I know, I know. We're here on official business and you don't want your paycheck messed up."

"Damn straight." She smiled at him though, ruining her uncaring façade.

"I just don't get it. Why would Van spend two years looking for someone who tried to kill him so many times?" He sat down and folded his arms, frowning.

"Maybe he really is a masochist at heart," suggested Moonbei half-jokingly, though she sobered when he shot her an unamused look. "Why didn't Raven ever kill Van? That's one thing I don't think I'll ever know."

"It wasn't for lack of trying."

"Wasn't it?" She stood up and paced. "The first time we met… you saw how fast he went through those Godos. With Van's piloting skills then, it would have been simple. And the second time, he just left without finishing the job. Ever wonder about that?"

It was obvious from the look on his face that he didn't want to think of those incidents, and she didn't blame him; Irvine was a proud man, and never liked to think of the few times he'd been defeated. It was a pride that she didn't have (running away from a battle she couldn't win wasn't something to be ashamed of). Still, she could also see that he was pondering the question now, and grinned to herself. For all of his annoying quirks, sometimes she really wanted to marry him.

"There is no why." Fiona had stood up and was looking at her, in a cold way that she'd never adopted before. Her hands were clenched, her face tight. They both looked at her, slightly shocked by the way she was acting.

"I was just wondering–"

"There is no why. Raven may not have managed to kill Van, but he tried, didn't he? All those times, Van only just managed to stay alive… I don't get it!" She was quiet and furious and still, making no move to release her anger through a punch or shout. "Why would anyone want to stay with a murderer? Why would anyone value life so little as to try to find and help a murderer?"

"Fiona…" She couldn't think of anything to say to placate the zoidian; her words would achieve the opposite. Pleadingly she looked at Irvine, who nodded to her subtly.

"Not everyone's like you, Fiona."

"He was."

"And isn't now." In the background, Moonbei smacked her head in exasperation: that was not comforting. He ignored her and continued, "People change. Talk to him, and see what he's like now. If it's just a temporary thing, you might be able to change him back."

"You sound like you've already accepted him as he is now," whispered the blonde, eyes watering slightly at the edges. She bit her bottom lip.

"Not yet, I haven't," protested Irvine. "That's why we're going to see if we can pound –or in your case, talk– some sense into that little idiot." He stood up lazily. "Come on, I think we've kept them waiting long enough."

"Right," agreed Moonbei exuberantly.

A moment later, Fiona nodded. "Zeke, come." The organoid slid itself out from under the bed where he had been sleeping, and walked over. His red eyes glinted with anticipation as he growled softly, before loyally following his owner out the door. They had work to do.

AN: One month! Yeah!

Sorry, this chapter's kind of short, and a filler to boot, and I still don't think I've got the page divider thing working, so it might be confusing... BUT, the next chapter will be the clash between old Van and new Van that some of you have been waiting for. Drum roll, before it breaks. Oops. And I've already started writing it, so let's see if I can get it out within a fortnight.

...I really shouldn't have told you that. Now I have a deadline to meet. Oh well.

Review responses:

nightfighter642: Sorry, you still can't convince me to make it a Van/Fiona (sheepish) I have to admit, after watching a few of the earlier episodes that yes, they do make a cute pairing, but… I dunno. Though if you keep trying, I can't guarantee that I won't crack some…

wyrd: China was good, the Genobreaker better. Alright, so that isn't completely true. They were both good, except the no internet/computer thing. I'm glad that I still have some shred of humour that school hasn't robbed me of. Sorry that this is just a filler, kind of halfway down the cliff. But yes, the next chapter WILL see them smashing into the ground. Figuratively. Though I can't promise that another cliff isn't just waiting for them…

Taltos: Will there or will there not be a love triangle? Hmm… You like my Rudolph? I like my Rudolph too. Not that I can say that I dislike the canon-Rudolph, since I don't actually know that much about him, but I thought he was pretty alright in the last episode. I think he's fourteen then, so he'd be around sixteen now. Well, he is now. As for Thomas… is he GF or Imperial Army? I was originally going to drag him along, but then Karl would have to tag along, which isn't a bad thing (hell no!), it just complicates things. But if you really want, Thomas will appear. Just not now.

Red Baroness: You probably didn't notice my story because I don't update nearly enough. What is it about my older Rudolph that compels people to like him? Hmm… I guess I'll have to give him a bigger role, ne?

Missy Kitten: Spell things right… I try. Though I go by the English version of things, so that may account for some of the "mistakes". The others are probably just plain laziness and flippancy, or me just trying to ruin the English language.

Yarrie: … there's no need to be violent, you know. Bribery is received a LOT better than threats. Anyways, here it is.

Peter Kim: Interesting points you've got there. By sheer force, naturally the Guardian Force don't stand a chance. It remains to be seen whether a) such force will be necessary and b) whether Van will actually agree to using such an amount. Sorry, I'm not going to say anymore than that right now.