CHAPTER 6 --Scully POV--
St Jude's Hospital
I can't look up as he walks away. I can't explain the gurgling urge I have to drag him away from here, from her. But most of all I realise I can't let him pull himself down like this without fighting for him.
My own words surprise me. Fight for him? As if he truly belonged to me in the first place, I admit with a small chuckle. I run my fingers through my hair and shake it out almost to shake the thought from my mind.
I want to talk to Mulder. Take him away from this environment and talk to him without interruption but I know nothing will pry him away right now. Through the small window on the door, I see him standing at the end of the bed, his fingers fiddling with the chart and knocking it to the floor with a clatter. Bouncing to pick it up he sees me looking in and offers me a wan smile. I manage to curl my lips in a bad attempt to return it, but rather then force it I look away and walk down the corridor to the water cooler.
I take a small sip enjoying the sharp cold sensation on my lips as my mind comes back into focus. I'm so confused with more and more emotions floating to the forefront then I care to admit. I'm angry, sad, lonely and some I can't even recognise...or maybe I just don't want to...jealousy.
Looking up suddenly, I catch my faint reflection in the window. Jealousy? Part of me isn't sure where that thought even came from, but the rest of me, the part that knows the sensation of his hand on my back, his green eyes twinkling so intensely through the darkness of a stakeout, the elusive sound of his laugh when it feels like it's just for me...
With a little chuckle I slump into the cold plastic chair that's been nailed to the floor and realise how deep in I am. Give up! A small voice in my head exclaims making me shake my head. Give up what? I argue with myself. It's not like I had anything with Mulder to give up. Give up the chance?
A chance. Is the chance worth fighting for? I have fought for less than chances before. For ideas, for hunches, for what might be, what could be. But that was different. That was with Mulder by my side. This would be meeting Mulder head on, a complete collision, because I wouldn't go for anything less. All or nothing.
Nothing is safer then something I try weakly to convince myself but it seems the ball is rolling and there isn't anything I can do to stop these thoughts from forming and snagging a foothold in my mind, my heart.
What would Mulder say? I wonder and I laugh again noticing only then that the nurse at the water cooler has been watching me argue with myself and I realise I must have been speaking out loud. She walks away with a careful glance in my direction so I stand up to get another drink.
As I take a long sip my cell phone vibrates insistently in my pocket so I answer it quickly not wanting to get kicked out for using prohibited phones.
"Scully," I answer curtly unable to smooth the edge off my voice.
"Agent Scully. It's Agent Dixon here. We have located Melissa Riedal's family."
For a moment there is nothing I can say and I hear Dixon cough nervously and he stammers on with more information.
"She is originally from Boston. I spoke to her father who said she went missing over 18 months ago from Boston Medical."
"Boston Medical? Was she working there?" I ask feeling the cold flush of warning rush through my body.
"No she had been an out patient, transferred for treatment from the Institute of Psychotherapy."
My heart is hammering against my ribs dancing to a beat I can't follow. I can't go to Mulder with this half information knowing he will think I am only trying to pull him away from Melissa.
"Can you get me dates for her admission into the Institute and the medical background? Fax it through to my hotel."
"No problem."
"Thank you."
I turn to walk back to Mulder but think better of it and instead walk out to the stairwell dialling Skinner's number.
CHAPTER 7 --Mulder POV--
St Jude's Hospital
There are so many questions I want to ask Melissa but I don't know where to start. She is watching me cautiously and rummaging in her bedside locker for her cigarettes. But a fit of coughing forces her back against the pillows, her search fruitless. Standing at the end of the bed, I don't know where to put my hands, first hanging them loosely by my sides then in my pockets and then resting on the cold metal of the bed.
"How are you feeling?" I ask carefully, not wanting her to retreat and bring forth another voice.
"Tender," she admits her arm curved protectively around her chest.
She pulls the bedclothes up to her chin as my fingers fiddle with the chart knocking it loudly to the floor. As I bend down to pick it up I catch Scullys gaze watching me through the small window in the door. I offer her a smile but she can barely return it. And I hate that.
I wish then that I had hugged Scully. I feel terrible, like I have abandoned her in the corridor. We've disagreed before but this is different. This is closer to the bone than we've ever been. Something was behind her eyes and she was doing her damnedest to hide it from me.
Looking back to Melissa I realise she has asked me a question but I didnt hear it. Sitting in the seat next to her bed I ask her to repeat it.
"How long have you worked for the FBI?"
"Too long," I reply with a self-depreciating chuckle designed to put her at ease. "Has anything come back to you? Your family? Where you are from?" It's too much I realise as I force myself to stop hammering out questions and take a deep breath.
"No. Nothing. I feel so...so...tired."
"Maybe I should go...let you rest." I start to stand but she stops me with a hand reaching out to squeeze my arm.
"No, please. Stay. I don't want to be alone."
I watch as she casts a careful glance to the door as if she is waiting for someone to barge in so I sit back down and glance at her. Her eyes are fearful and tired, red rimmed and brimming with unshed tears.
"Tired?" I ask softly passing her a cup of water to ease her sore throat.
"Worn out...shocked...wary...it's all still up in the air."
"That's understandable," I admit as I place the cup back onto the locker and help her with the pillows behind her head. With my arms on either side of her head and my face next to hers she turns to me and places a gentle kiss on my cheek.
"Thank you," she whispers, snaking her arms around my neck and pulling me closer. "Thank you for saving me."
There is nothing I can say so I let her hold me a moment longer then carefully prise myself away. I need to talk to her, to find out who she is, to understand these feelings that are running rampant through my body. As much as Scully thinks my mind is already made up, I know I have to understand it fully before I let myself sink into this fully.
"Melissa," I begin fighting back my urges to shake the answers out of her. My psychology degree kicks into action and I slowly release a deep long shaky breath. "We are currently searching for your family. The families of all the survivors. Some of them have already left. Is there anything you can tell us about your...past." So many conflicting thoughts and emotions battling for supremacy. It's so hard to concentrate.
"My past?" Her eyes are darting from me to the door and back again. I'm not sure what she's waiting for but she scoots forward on the bed and leans closer to me.
"What is it Melissa?" She is rocking back and forth with both her legs crossed under herself, her eyes have glazed over and her mouth hangs open a little.
"His name was Jonah." She is speaking softly, her voice but a whisper in the silent room. "He was 10 years older than me but I didn't mind." She is twiddling her hair around her fingers and chewing the inside of her cheek between sentences. "I loved him and know he loved me too."
"Who was Jonah?" I ask carefully, unsure whether she is remembering a love lost or a past life.
"Jonah Carberry." She smiles coyly, curling her lips to the side and batting her eyes as she looks up to me. "We met that summer at The University of Columbus. He taught me more then Creative Writing."
Her laugh is demure and yet seductive with her eyes wide and watching me.
"When was this?" I'm mentally taking note of every name date and place she mentions.
"About ten years ago. My father wasn't so pleased to see my college education majoring in the studies of fornication with one of my lecturers."
As she steps off the bed and around my chair she trails one hand up my arm and gently caresses my neck, letting her finger dip between my shirt collar and my skin while the other hand rakes through my hair. I can feel her leaning in closer behind me and her hands splaying out on my shoulder. Her breath is hot on my neck and her lips touch my skin, sending tingles down my back but the alarm in my head is blaring at biblical proportions.
"But it was a subject I was more then pleased to take a one on one tutelage."
Her lips are covering more ground and the alarms are getting worse as her hands travel down my chest and seize my nipples in a gentle tug.
"Melissa!" I stand up brushing her hands away and turning to face her. I can still feel her lips nuzzling on my skin, her eyes now taking their place as she absorbs my features and watches me shamelessly.
"Come now, Agent Mulder...are you going shy on me?" she curls around the chair to sit down and throws her leg over the arm tossing her head back the other way to let her hair hang out loose.
"Melissa...Ms Riedal...I think you should go back into bed."
"Will you be joining me?" Her voice is hoarse with sultry tones as she climbs off the chair and crawls on to the bed on all fours. "Room enough here for both of us."
"I think it's time for me to go. Let you get some rest."
As I back away from her I notice the light in her eyes fades as she crawls under the sheets. She pulls the blanket up to her chin and if the room wasn't so quiet I wouldn't be able to hear her whisper.
"It's not me you want...it's them...the voices."
"Sorry?" I step closer but only a few steps.
"It's never me...it's them. They always want to talk to them in the end."
"Who?" I venture forward another few steps making sure the chair is between us.
"The voices...Janet, Sarah, Michael, Sidney, Susan...never Melissa."
"What are you talking about?" I ask but then the door opens and a small portly nurse saunters in and double takes as she sees me.
"What are you doing in here? This room is off limits. Ms Riedal needs her rest!"
My mouth is opening to protest but she isn't giving me a chance as she ushers me out of the room and shuts me off closing the door sharply between us. I want to barge back in there but I know better than to be on the wrong side of the hospital staff. I need Scully, I realise and I look up as she emerges from the stairwell.