A/N: Wow...that was...looooong...Seriously, I'm for anyone who still reads this that I haven't updated in a long while but I'm kinda rounding this up with some interesting last chapters to say the least. I'll try to keep the humor in it but I need a dosis of humor and randomness for Naruto I think... O.o Also this chapter is short compared to others...But that's due to lack of willingness and random ideas. Hope you all will still like it. And review please unless all you people started thinking I'm an ass XD

Seventenks the Ultimate F: I know Sasori isn't a kid XD He does however have the looks of one, reason why the others called him Kid and stuff XP As for the dirty thing with ShikaTemaTayu...damn...that never even struck me yet lol ow well too bad lol. As for Jinchuuriki thing...yeah I forgot that back then and back then I also didn't use Wikipedia to find some Naruto info and all O.o And shit! You were the only one to even think of what somewhat was coming in like...chapter 32 O.O!...Scary...Anyway keep on readin' !

ino-youkes: Hope you've caught up by now, anyway glad you find it hillarious :)! As for the AyaNaruHina thing, well...I try to balance it out and all so hope you still liked the HinaNaru moments...Aside from one most likely since it's more comic relief then actual romance XD

Anyway! On with the short chapter, next one will be longer and will contain more fun and even violence! After all what's Icha Icha Paradise when subbers subbed it once as Make-out violence! Cheers! Now on with the story! Ow and omake at the end again XP

Chapter 31: War Commences

"Itachi..." Kisame whispered.

"Hn..." Itachi replied.

"This sucks...But I think I know a way that can get us out of here." Kisame said.

"We are not going to blow ourselves up..." Itachi replied.

Itachi and Kisame were both in the highest security cells of Konoha. Both of them locked up in one cell each.
What made it such a high security was the fact that they pretty much were surrounded by tenthousand or so explosion notes who, when one was set off, all the others were set off as well.

"...That's not my plan..." Kisame stated.

"Then what is your grand plan?" Itachi asked.

"My Samehada...I think I could get it up here somehow and absorb the chakra of the explosion tags with it..." Kisame stated.

"Ah I see...Then...sssht...Someone's coming." Itachi said as footsteps could be heard aproaching them.

Kisame cursed and sat down on the ground and focussed on slowly getting his Samehada hear, guiding it with his chakra. He heard the footsteps stop near Itachi's cell and heard the cell door carefully being opened, then quickly closed and locked once again.

Kisame heard some whispers and movements he could not quite place and hen everything went, as far as Kisame could tell, silent. After a couple of minutes the cell door of Itachi's cell opened again and shortly after was again closed. The footsteps returned and slowly disappeared in to the distance.

Kisame had brought Samehada in to the shadows next to his cell, now he quickly brought him out to devour all the chakra of the explosion tags. Soon after Kisame had freed himself and now grabbed Samehada not to waste any more chakra making it float around.

"Alright now for Itachi..." Kisame said as he turned around.

"Yo, that took you long enough, Kisame..." Itachi stated.

"How the hell did you get out!" Kisame exclaimed.

"...Appearantly it pays off to be the number one nukenin from Konoha and be on the 'nuke-nin-bachelor list'..." Itachi calmly stated.

"...Just wait until she hears that." Kisame muttered.

"What's that saying again...? What one doesn't know doesn't hurt one either or something like that?" Itachi wondered.

"Well...Atleast we got out of the cells...Now to sneak away in to the night like ninjas." Kisame said nodding as he turned around.

"Kisame..." Itachi said.

"Hm, what?" Kisame asked, looking towards Itachi over his shoulder.

"We are ninjas..." Itachi stated.

"Indeed." Kisame replied. Itachi smacked himself in the face and started walking.

"Let's just get going..." Itachi muttered.

"Hehehe, finally." Kisame said grinning as the two of them sneaked away.

The next morning, Tsunade arrived at her office with one of the hugest headaches ever. Appearently last night, Itachi and Kisame had somehow escaped out of their most secure prison and just this morning a spy from Hidden Sound was caught on the borders of Konoha. Then there was ofcourse the fact that the paperwork waiting for her after solving those two matters was limitless.

The first was already solved more or less. Itachi and Kisame were long gone without a single trace to follow aside from a couple of drained explosion tags. Then there was the problem of the Sound spy being caught.

Appearantly he let out something to Ibiki's interrogation squad that he had a message for Tsunade. So now Tsunade was on her way to the interrogation chamber after dropping off her stuff at her office, which consisted of more paperwork Tsunade soon was at the entrance of the interrrogation chamber, Ibiki patiently waiting for her.

"You've finally come Hokage-sama. He isn't letting out much more then saying that he is here to deliver a message to you." Ibiki reported.

"Then I think it's time to make him deliver his message." Tsunade said as she opened the door to the interrogation chamber.

"Yes..." Ibiki replied as he followed Tsunade.

"Hokage-sama, this is the spy we captured." An ANBU member said as he moved aside, showing an ordinary nin dressed in the Sound uniform.

"You have a message for me? Then speak already." Tsunade said.

"Fufufufu...Tsunade, finally you've came...I was getting tired of all the fakes they send out." The nin said with a terrefying voice that Tsuande knew all too well.

"Orochimaru...What is it that you want?" Tsunade asked.

"Getting straight to business as usual Even though it's been a while." 'Orochimaru' said and chuckled.

"...I'm losing my patience here, Orochimaru." Tsunade said.

"My, my...That's not the attitude to have. If you crush this kid's skull, Konoha will suffer due to your mistake." 'Orochimaru' replied.

"Just hurry up and state what you want." Tsunade snarled at him.

"Well, my village is expanding at a rapid pace and I'm afraid I'm running out of resources to continue building..." Orochimaru stated.

"And why the hell would you want to tell me that?" Tsunade asked.

"Well Konoha is much larger and I thought of taking it as my own...But if I attacked just like that I'd destroy what could possibly become mine...So I thought of sending this messenger to tell you that I think we should have a war about Konoha." Orochimaru said.

"And just what made you think that we'd do just that?" Tsunade asked as she raised an eyebrow.

"If you won't listen to my demands I'll simply destory Konoha...Make no mistake, I have the power to do such a thing right now. Let's battle this out once and for all on neutral ground, the forest north of the Konoha border. Let's start today already, shall we? This afternoon and fight till nightfall, if it isn't finished by then already." Orochimaru said chuckling at the end.

"What if we decide to stay in Konoha? DO you think we'd honestly leave our 'base' and make ourselves more vulnerable?" Tsunade asked.

"I thought I made myself clear, we'd attack Konoha and destroy it with all of our power.Your choice Tsunade...Decide what you want but no matter what, you'll be forced to fight." Orochimaru said and with that the sound-nin's head hung down.

An ANBU member walked over to the sound-nin and checked his polse.

"He's dead Hokage-sama..." He stated.

"Tsch...Great...Call a strategy meeting with all the jounins and get Jiraiya's ass over here as well." Tsunade commanded.

"Hai!" Everyone replied.

Meanwhile, out on the streets of Konoha as usual, everyone's favorite male blonde ninja was on his way to get to the Hokage's tower, to well...get something to do today again as Hinata was being trained by her father and Neji and Ayame had a to work the entire day. Sure he could visit them but he didn't wanted to be an annoyance to their parents.

So instead he decided that Jiraiya had maybe some time to train him and since he wasn't found near the hotsprings, Naruto hoped that he was at the Hokage Tower. On his way to the Hokage tower, he ran into Gaara, Kisune ,Temari and Kankurou.

"Yo mina, how's it going?" Naruto asked in his usual cheery tone.

"Perv..." Temari muttered.

"We were called by the Hokage, any idea why Naruto?" Gaara asked.

"Hm, no I was just on my way there to find Ero-sennin. Why would Tsunade-obachan call you guys?" Naruto asked confused.

"She said it was something urgent...Geez, this is our vacation ya know jyan..." Kankurou muttered.

"Urgent? I wonder what it is..." Naruto mused.

As they continued walking towards the Hokage Tower, the other teams also showed up and all needed to go to the tower again as well with the same message from student that it was 'urgent'. Appearantly everyone aside from Naruto got the message because once they entered the tower, Sakura was already awaiting them as well.

"Sakura-chan, even you knew?" Naruto asked as he saw her.

"Ofcourse, I've been training recently with Tsuande-sama you know. She asked me to wait for everyone to come and then guide you to all to some kind of large hall in this tower." Sakura stated.

"Then hurry up already jyan...I've got places to go and crack to blow." Kankurou said. Gaara eyed him awkwardly and Kankurou kind of flinched by it.

"Hai, hai...Mina, follow me this way!" Sakura said as she lead the way for everyone.

After walking for a while they arrived in a large hall with mutliple Jounin, Chuunin and ANBU squads in it.

"Alright now that the genin teams are here we'll start." Tsunade called out in the hall, as she was standing on a stage.

"As some of you know, this morning a Sound spy was caught by one of our guards and was interrogated. The spy had a message for us, that of Sound declaring war against Konoha once more. Now we discussed this with the elders and the elders of the Village, but we have no other option then to fight them. Now we've taken into chance that this might be a trap, seeing how Orochimaru wanted to lure us out of Konoha no sato and into the woods but we have no other option then to reply, for he threatened to unleash a lot of shit on Konoha if we didn't come...Just so you know, he's after the possesion of our beloved Village, something that we won't accept." Tsunade stated.

"What!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Naruto, this isn't time for questions so just be quiet and listen like the rest of the group." Tsunade shouted.

Naruto gritted his teeth and silently agreed to silencing up.

"Everyone that is here, aside from the kunoichi's from Sand that aren't here because it was hard to contact them, will be the ones to move out of Konoha and meet Orochimaru and his army in the forest. This is a bit less then half of Konoha's forces, so we'll most likely have a hard time. The other half is staying back here under command of Jiraiya in case it is a set up and Orochimaru attacks the Village. We're going to end this dispute between Konoha and Sound this time by finishing off Orochimaru. Everyone prepare your selves...At twelvehundred hours today we're moving out to destroy the Sound. Sabaku no Gaara, I trust you with arranging all the Sand nin that are staying here to get battle ready." Tsunade stated. Gaara closed his eyes and slightly nodded.

"Alright then, We'll meet at the north gate at 11.30 and head for the forest north of our Village's border. If you're late, we won't wait for you. Dismissed." Tsunade stated and everyone walked off.

"Tsch...Another war...How troublesome..." Shikamaru said as he walked away.

"Another war, eh? ...And this time even all my friends' lives are on stake." Temari said as she walked away with Shikamaru, arm in arm.

"But, that Orochimaru fellow sure picked the perfect time to declare war..." Shikamaru stated.

"Yeah, Konoha is still weakened from the last one..." Temari replied.

"That's not what I'm talking about." Shikamaru replied.

"Huh?" Temari looked confused at her boyfriend.

"This time around we all have someone precious to us that we don't want to lose, yet there is a high posibility we might...And that means more mistakes will most likely be made in combat." Shikamaru stated.

"What are you...talking about...?" Temari asked who still didn't get it.

"Think a little bit Temari-chan...I have you, you have me, the great Hyuuga Neji has Tenten to protect and same goes for everyone else even among Jounin and ANBU classes, I wouldn't be even surprised if someone like Shino had someone to protect...How troublesome indeed." Shikamaru stated and sighed.

"So there's always a chance some of us might die and it wouldn't be surprising if someone got me from behind and I wouldn't be able to dodge it." Shikamaru stated.

"Oh hell no they won't and you won't either!" Temari exclaimed, making SHikamaru look confused at her.

"If you dare to die today, I'm going to drag your lazy ass back to this worl and kill you again!" Temari exclaimed.

"Heh, I figured you'd say something like that." Shikamaru grinned at her.

Meanwhile Naruto had rushed towards Tsunade.

"Oi Tsunade-obaachan!" Naruto yelled.

"Naruto, I told you this isn't the time for questions..." Tsunade stated as she got off stage.

"I know that, but don't we need something like supplies to bring with us incase we need to eat or whatever?" Naruto asked.

"Everyone is taking care of their own food, sleeping bags and other equipment." Tsunade stated.

"But wouldn't it be better to like, set up a camp if we needed to chase them after it get's too dark to see them? And wouldn't we need someone to cook us dinner because that would be easier for a large group and like a medical tent to treat injuries?" Naruto asked.

"Hm, It's true that it would be good...But bringing people along could be bothersome. We don't have time to protect anyone." Tsunade stated.

"...So Ayame-chan can't come with me so I can protect her?" Naruto asked a bit disappointed.

"Naruto, as soon as we need to set up camp we'll send a messenger to Konoha to bring us a couple of tents and stuff. Inform your girlfriend to sign up as an army cook and I'm sure you can have her with you at night." Tsunade stated.

"Alright! That's atleast better then nothing! I'm going to tell her right now!" Naruto cheered, turned around and ran off.

"Naruto-kun..." Hinata said.

"Ah! Hinata-chan. Don't worry about the war. I'll definetely won't let anything happen to you. Now come on we've got to inform Ayame-chan and then get ready to beat that bastard Orochimaru up!" Naruto cheered. Hinata smiled warmly at him, before being picked up into his arms and running off again.

"Naruto-kun...I won't let anything happen to you either..." She whispered in his ear. Naruto smiled and stroke trough her hair while continueing to run past everyone and heading for the Ramen stand.

Meanwhile Gaara was heading towards the hotel where all the sand kunoichi were staying, along side of him were Temari and Kisune.

Kisune and Gaara were walking hand in hand, taking there time to get to the hotel's building. Temari on the other hand wanted to inform them as soon as possible so she could head towards Shikamaru for some more rest before the war.

"Hurry up already, Gaara!" Temari yelled.

"Hai..." Gaara replied.

"This war won't be though, now will it?" Kisune wondered.

"What are you saying? That Orochimaru guy killed our father, the Fourth Kazekage...He isn't going to be a push over and neither will be his army." Temari stated.

"But you know, we have Gaara-kun with us and he's really strong. Also niisan and I aren't half assed either, neither are you Temari-chan and I bet all the Jounin people are really strong as well. I mean Kakashi-sensei is strong and I doubt the others are weak. We'll definetely win!" Kisune cheered.

"Anyway...This is where they are staying, right Temari?" Gaara asked.

"Yup this should be it." Temari stated.

"Good then let's gather them up..." Gaara said and headed into the hotel.

"Er...Should we like help you?" Temari asked. Gaara looked at her and blinked.

"When couldn't I handle you and your friends, Temari?" Gaara asked

Temari opened her mouth to reply but Gaara silenced her, "It's a rhetorical question..."

"Then I'll go inside and gather them up..." Gaara stated and headed inside,closing the door behind him.

"Ano...Will Gaara-kun really be ok? I mean...Didn't they..." Kisune questioningly looked at Temari who just let out a sigh.

"NO! NO! NOOOOOO!" Gaara yelled.

"AAAH BLOODY SANDY HELL NOT AGAIN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Gaara screamed.

"Don't you like it Gaara-kun?" A fangirl said as she clinged onto Gaara along with all the other fangirls. Gaara screamed some more and demanded that they'd burn the complex down.

"What? Don't you like it that we dedicated this place to you?" Another fangirl asked.

"The walls...the floor...the clothing...everything...wait a minute..." Gaara stated as he looked at all the things in the hotel that had either his face on it or a picture of him.

"..." Gaara silently stared as his eyes started to twitch.

"Oh yeah we even brought that one here. It's really pretty now! Don't you like the glitters and the text on it Gaara-kun?" A fangirl asked smiling.

"My...(twitch)...precios...(twitch)...Ichigo...(twitch)...bankai...(twitch)...outfit..." Gaara said as he stared at what was once his precious, kick ass, cool looking cosplay outfit of Bleach's Kurosaki Ichigo bankai outfit.

"Yeah that's it! Ain't it pretty! It's so hot that we need to wear sunglasses when we put it out in the sun!" Another fangirl cheered as they in unison grabbed a pair of shades and put them on.

Gaara's eyes still twitched as sand surrounded him and all of his fangirls, making one giant ball of sand and fangirls as Gaara walked out of it.

"You should be glad we're going to war today against the Sound today." Gaara stated as he stood in front the giant ball of women and sand.

Gaara took another look at his former cosplay outfit and then at the sand ball with the now somewhat questioning looking girls.

"Very lucky." Gaara said with a hint of darkness to his voice. He then turned around and walked towards the door.

"Well let's go then..." Gaara said now calm once more.

Once outside he was looking at his sister and Kisune, who were both looking shocked at Gaara.

"Ehm...Gaara are you ok?" Temari asked.

"Ofcourse I am, why wouldn't I be?" Gaara replied as he started walking.

"Ano, Gaara-kun? You didn't kill all of them now did you?" Kisune asked as Gaara walked up to her.

"No..." Gaara said as he grabbed Kisune's hand and started walking off with her.

"Ehm...Gaara what about the...?" Temari asked but stopped as the ground trembled and a second later a large ball of sand made a hole in the hotel.

"What the!" Temari yelled as the ball rolled after Gaara.

"Temari-chaaaan! Save us!" The fangirls yelled from the sand ball.

"Save my girlfriends, go to Shika-kun...girlfriends...Shika-kun...Hmmm..." Temari mused.

"Temari-chan!" The girls begged for help.

"Bye girls! It's not like I can convince my little brother to let you guys go! See you all in a few hours!" Temari yelled back at them before rushing of.

"WHAT! HOURS!" They all yelled and Gaara kept making the ball roll.

A few hours later, Temari and Shikamaru arrived at the gate of Konoha.

"Temari-chan!" Was what the fangirls wanted to yell, but after rolling around for hours all they could do is be dizzy and not reply.

As Tsunade arrived at the scene, Gaara quickly dropped the ball of sand, leaving the kunoichi on top of each other.

"Er...Could you awake those kunoichi?" Tsunade asked as she noticed the pile of kunoichi.

"They're awake and listening..." Gaara stated.

"...Anyway no time to waste, we're all to move out in a few minutes. As I believe I've said before, Jiraiya will be staying here with the rest of the troops while we head out. Caution is neccesary as we can assume this is one huge trap. if you're a true shinobi act like a first rate one and not fall into traps and react swiftly. Everyone has his or her own team so you know who to stick with. Alright people?" Tsunade stated.

The gathered Shinobi nodded in reply while Tsunade was looking at every one of them.

"Alright people! Let's show that freakshow Orochimaru what Konoha's made off!" Tsunade yelled as the crowd cheered in reply, before they all headed out.

Kyuubi: Hehehehe...

Shukaku: Hehehehé!

Kyuubi: War...This should be interesting (grins)

Shukaku: Blood! Kill! Funkiness! Woohoo!

Kyuubi: (glares at him) you won't be released this time you know...Just like they won't pretend to be me...

Shukaku: For a second there I thought it WAS your ugly ass...Untill you strapped one of your tails around a bunch of trees...

Kyuubi: You thought it was ME!

Shukaku: Yeah it was a damn good immitation, I thought they found a way to call you out (nods)

Kyuubi: When they shout, HENGE! That's supposed to be a clue that it is not me!

Shukaku: Really? I thought you were just in frog form for fun...never knew you were a crossplayer bastard fox...

Kyuubi: (opens notebook) note to self...Beat the heck out of raccoon man and eat his tail for lunch...skip that I'll take his tail as appetizer, use his head as a bowl for some demonicly good ramen and...damn I'm hungry...

Shukaku: Hey what are you writing? And why are you measuring up my head!

Kyuubi: Er...(hides scalpel)...nothing! Say, raccoon, feel like eating something before we kick some snake ass?

Shukaku: Sure, why not.

Kyuubi: Good...Very good...I'll grab the bowls and appetizers...(grins at Shukaku)

Shukaku: Bastard fox! You have such clean white long sharp teeth!

Kyuubi: ...Now you're scaring me(backs off)