Don't Be Afraid of Anything (Ikanaku Koto Ni Oite Mo Osorenai Koto)

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

Warning: graphic gore

:OoO:

Every morning Sesshoumaru and his retainers would usually start their training, but after the arrival of Kagome, he began his special training with her.

Occupying the immense dojo in the east wing of the palace, he incited unfurling her inner ki. Even though her trained ki was strong, she was definitely unassailable when she got to the point where she succeeded to get through the barrier of his youki.

And Sesshoumaru planned to use her power for his purposes.

What were the purposes of the warring lords at that time? Or perhaps the purpose of Sesshoumaru? Even though his supreme abilities at warring and domesticity were well-known, his aim of warring was uneventful; to rule over Japan and to become a shogun were his father's goal, and now it was his.

He refused to admit that he actually enjoyed the battle; the smell of blood and fear appeased the massive hunger of the demon in him. To solemnly study the helplessness of his enemies was almost like an amusement to him. Domestic leading compared with his time in a battle was like a sobering bite of reality, monotonous and tiring.

That was why he had to give an ambition for his battles, because it was honorable to do so, and he wasn't just a lowly demon who would submit to his bloodlust.

:OoOoOoO:

As Kagome was passing through the manor, she overheard a conversation of two youkai samurais. Both had lower ranks than her, but they ignored her as they saw her passing by. She was used to being unnoticed by now; sometimes it would even give her the chance to listen to some of the gossips.

She paused and began to listen to their conversation; the youkai samurais were still unaware that she was listening. It seemed that they were talking about Fujita; Kagome frowned when she heard the name of her friend was being vulgarly altered.

From what she had heard Fujita was a weak youkai; she didn't have the youki like most youkai did, but her father, Naoe Nobushige, was a very powerful daimyo who had joined forces with Sesshoumaru in exchange for his daughter's protection.

Because she was weak, Fujita hadn't received a single marriage proposal from the other youkai lords. Although she was beautiful, a youkai that didn't possess any youki in her would breed worthless offspring, and the only reason that she was still given a position of a lady of the fortress was because that she was Sesshoumaru's lover.

Kagome started; suddenly she felt a surge of mixed feelings inside her, and now she could hear no more. They were snickering over the details of the things their lord did in bed with his courtesan. Kagome almost felt sick.

Suddenly she felt that someone had tapped her shoulder from behind; it was Fujita.

"Did you listen to those brutes?"

Kagome immediately laughed and waved a placating hand. "No, no, I was just passing by when I heard them talking; I wasn't even listening."

"You didn't?" Fujita smiled softly, and then her eyes darkened. "What if I told you that I had listened to their conversation and could definitely confirm that what they were saying was true?"

Kagome dropped her head. "Well, since I didn't hear them, then I could only take you on your word."

Fujita laughed bitterly. "Then I guess you should."

She started to walk in drifting-mode and dramatically swung her arms. Kagome called out to her. "Fujita-san." The female youkai stopped. "I definitely wouldn't object…"

Fujita turned to her, and Kagome continued her statement. "I certainly don't have any rights to object…"

Fujita started to speak but then she was cut off by a messenger who made his way inside the manor.

"Lady Fujita, I have a message to deliver for Lord Sesshoumaru."

As Fujita about to answer him, the two samurai stepped before her. One of them spoke in mocking submissive tone. "Lady Fujita, it would be better if we take care of the matter; Lord Sesshoumaru definitely wouldn't like to have his lady to be bothered with such trivial issue."

Fujita narrowed her eyes, and then she shrugged. "Do as you please."

The two samurai smirked; they bowed and ushered the messenger to come with them.

"Fujita-san, do you think it was wise not to inform Sesshoumaru about this?" Kagome frowned; she was sure that the samurais would keep the information to themselves.

"There would be no harm done. He's just a messenger, not a ninja; he's probably going to report about some small problems of the villagers."

"But still, can you hear them from here?"

Fujita smiled conspiratorially. "Of course, I might be weak, but I haven't lost my hearing yet." She focused herself on the sound behind the walls. "There are some shipwrecks on the coast of Echigo. They belong to the Chinese merchants; the peasants recognize them as foreigners from the clothes they wear, and now they are heading here, in the capital city of Echigo, to ask about the housing problems."

"Shipwrecks? Is it normal to have a ship stranded here in Echigo?"

"Yes it is; we had such problems before, but usually the shogun decided over such matters. I guessed the samurais were going to inform the shogun themselves; they thought that such deeds would earn them lands, stupid animals!"

Kagome didn't make a comment on her last sentence; she was lost in her thought. Even though Fujita had convinced her that such information was insignificant and common, but still, maybe it was because she was a stranger that she viewed the obvious suspiciously.

:OoOoOoO:

In the evening a ninja stepped into the castle and asked to see Sesshoumaru. After a while the Taiyoukai informed their retainers to prepare themselves to travel southward for the approaching battle.

Kagome had a mixed feeling over his decision; while the supposed stranded merchants were heading for this city, they were about to travel southward in the opposite direction. She stepped closer towards Sesshoumaru; he looked at her coldly, annoyed that he was halted.

"Milord, forgive my interruption, but I have to ask where exactly we're going and the situation of the enemy."

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes; he wasn't used of being asked over something that he had made his mind about. "Very well, I think you have every right to ask me this. Fifty first-rank samurais of the hojo clans and twenty skilled ronins are heading towards Echigo; we would catch them unaware if we are to attack them at night before the border."

Kagome frowned; this was too obvious. "Milord, I supposed no one had informed you that today a messenger came to report that there are some stranded ships on the coast of the Echigo, and now the stranded passengers, they were Chinese merchants according to the peasants, were heading here."

Sesshoumaru lifted his brow, as if asking her what was so peculiar about the news.

Kagome bit her lip as she impatiently explained to him, "Milord, don't you see; ships, as more than one, and probably thousands of passengers in them. Merchant's ships and all of them are stranded here; did they take the same course, all of them?"

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened; he realized suddenly the trap that his enemies had designed for him. He gazed at her in awe; it had been a while since he had ever looked at anyone like that, a long while. Kagome was still holding her head down, not looking at him; she finally grew impatient and lifted her head. She immediately felt a bit faint when she saw the way he was looking at her, almost as if lovingly.

Kagome blushed; she excused herself and made her way to her room to be prepared, but he was still blocking her escape. She lifted her head and looked up at him exasperatedly; her face still flushed.

And it was then when Sesshoumaru caught her unaware. He chuckled softly. Our great cold lord had given away an expression of mirth.

:OoOoOoO:

"You don't have to come if you don't want to, Kagome. Stay here… with me." Fujita asked her pleadingly.

"My place is with my comrades in the battlefield, and if I'm to back up from this, how is that going to look on me?"

"You don't understand. You're not ready for this; I know you're not. Soldiers kill each other, Kagome, not only to defend their lives. And demons, demons kill for fun." Fujita almost shook her to bring her back into reality; she knew what the girl was thinking, and she knew how little she was prepared for the cruelty of war.

"What you yearn for is the heroism of the act of war, but in the end when you survived this, your belief will be shattered to pieces at your feet, and then will you only realize that you are in danger of losing your sanity. I beg you…" Fujita went down to her knees; her head was bowed down low.

"Fujita-san!" Kagome was surprised at the sudden extremity of her action; she quickly helped her friend up.

"What are you doing! I'm a samurai, and the battlefield is my place. I've been prepared for this for as long as I can remember." Kagome looked at her in puzzlement. She tilted her head and tried to lighten the situation as she continued. "Don't have such little faith in me; it'll bring me bad luck."

But the youkai hugged her hard. "You'll see, it'll break you…" She stroked Kagome's hair desperately, and she continued to speak as if the words were meant to soothe her. "But that's okay; when you break, I'm going to be there. No one else but me…"

:OoOoOoO:

Before they marched to the battlefield, inside the castle Sesshoumaru caught up on Kagome. In the dark alley he gripped her arm, stopping her from going.

She stared down at his hands, too mesmerized to do anything.

His hand tugged at her gently, motioning her wordlessly to turn to him, and she complied with his silent wish.

His hand went down to the waist of her armor. His nimble fingers fumbled with the cord holding her katana at her side; he changed the style of the knot of the cord and fastened it securely.

Her eyes went up to him as she smiled her gratification. He almost smile in return, but then his hand flinched away from her as if he suddenly realized what he had done.

She dropped her head disappointedly and Sesshoumaru decided that this would not do.

So, as if possessed by an invisible force, his finger caught her chin and forced her to look at him. He traced her delicate cheekbone with his claw and moved slightly forward as if to kiss her, but he stopped as his nose almost touched hers. His eyes were trying to tell her something, because now it seemed as if he was desperate and lost.

When she only knew what he was trying to articulate; eyes that spoke in place of lips and visual perception in place of sound. He was asking for her forgiveness, or more like understanding, for the things that were about to happen.

:OoOoOoO:

On the plateau that gazed upon the downside terrain a cool breeze washed upon Kagome, and she shivered from the chill. Sesshoumaru glanced at her for a moment, but he offered her no warmth, nothing to remedy her condition. His body wasn't allowing him to touch anything or anyone; adrenaline had surged into the flow of his blood. If he was to touch her now, he would kill her.

Downhill, a thousand and five hundred soldiers were marching their way towards the capital city of Echigo. They outnumbered Sesshoumaru's soldiers as he only took five hundreds of his retainers with him. But their fates were decided in a matter of a minute, because in the matter of strength and skills the human soldiers were clearly outmatched; they never stood a chance against the demon soldiers.

Kagome hadn't noticed the two samurais that had held the information from Sesshoumaru, but she caught something about disembowelment as their punishment. She shivered; she was glad that she had passed the procession.

Sesshoumaru neither sheathed his sword nor held a battle stance. Kagome looked up at him questioningly; as the leader of the army he had to unsheathe his sword first, motioning others to join him on the act.

Suddenly he gave her the cruelest expression she had never seen in someone's face before as he smiled viciously.

"I wouldn't need my sword against those humans." And he charged his way down with his claws poised on his side.

His charge had caught both Kagome and his enemies unaware, but before he reached them, he stopped, giving them the time to evaluate the situation.

And that was when the stench of the overflowing fear caught even Kagome's nose. Sesshoumaru roared in pure animalistic satisfaction. A youkai soldier near Kagome sneered at her reaction; he whispered in smugness. "That was the sign to begin the war, Higurashi, humans' fear." And one by one, his soldiers went downhill to the battlefield.

What did she expect out of war? Had she the time to explain her view of battles, they would've started to worry over her condition of sanity, the result of her secluded life.

She had imagined a battlefield and a fight one against one; something like a massive arena of fight-skill competition. And those who lost the fight were to be taken captive by those who won the battle; no lives were needed to be taken, only lands and rights.

But as she saw the flying limbs of the helpless soldiers below her, she realized the naivety of her own mind. She began to cower in fear.

Sesshoumaru was enjoying every second of the battle; his claws were sticky from blood and soiled with bits of skin, muscles and flesh. A soldier had recklessly swung his sword towards him from behind; Sesshoumaru maneuvered his body and the movement of his arm and caught the hand of the soldier without even looking at the attacker. A thump sound of falling sword and severed hand followed, but the soldier only flinched in pain; he refused to give up any sound of pain.

But pride was never registered in the battle, and though his recklessness had warmed the hearts of his comrades, his action only survived for a second until Sesshoumaru severed his head from his body.

Other thoughts, however, plagued Sesshoumaru; he hadn't caught Kagome's scent in the battle. His reddish eyes searched for her, and he found no trace of his human retainer. He followed her scent and discovered that she was still up there in the plateau, crouching and cowering in fear.

He bellowed in anger as he dashed his way towards her.

"What do you think you're doing!" He snarled at her, his hand closed around her neck as he lifted her by one hand and threw her to the battle ground below with a slight flick of movement.

Kagome braced herself for the impact of her fall. She was desperate to escape the battle, and right now heavy injury or even death was a tempting thought, but Sesshoumaru hands caught her body, breaking her fall. And as he placed her in the middle of the battle, the sound of ripped body parts and cries closed on her.

A samurai advanced towards her with his katana poised, but she only blocked his charge with her sword still in the scabbard. One of Sesshoumaru's soldiers tore the samurai apart.

And as the battle surrounding her was absorbed into every sense of her humanity, the more anesthetized she became.

And she could only watched, silently and perversely fascinated as Sesshoumaru's face contorted with satisfaction as he maneuvered his claws in the stomach of one samurai and slowly pulled out his claws, exposing what was left hanging between his digits. Sesshoumaru, going to another samurai and with one swipe of one finger and his razor-thin claw, disemboweled the samurai's head from his body. Sesshoumaru, inhaling deep the stench of fear of one young samurai who was probably younger than her, relished his cry as he slowly, as to prolong the torture, drew a deep cut from the head to the groin of the young soldier; blood spurted in a thin line of burst, and he lustfully tasted the fresh liquid that stained his lips.

Her eyes were now only a mere sight-consuming tool; she did not feel nor handle. The only fact that she could grasp in her sense of haziness,

This was Sesshoumaru in war.

:end of chapter:

Ronin: samurai who owes loyalty to no superior, an unemployed samurai for hire.

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AN:

Hi,

To be fair to you readers I have to tell you that I actually already wrote this story up until chapter 12 and had already published it too on other sites. The last time I updated this story was actually a year ago, and then as life caught up on me and work began to take its toll on me as well, the story went on hiatus for almost a year. In this one year's pause I still kept my contact with the internet world though, and I must say that each time I opened my mailbox, I felt also guilty for not writing any updates.

Well, one day I came upon a post on a forum site; maybe if someone else had read it then the post would not seem to them like a flame at all, but as I read it, I could feel… maybe it would be too overdramatic if I describe the feeling as heartbreak, but it was certainly close to that. In the post it was said that there was a theory as to why my fiction was half bad and half good, and this theory stated that I had taken maybe excerpts from other stories and compacted them into my story, in other words a collective plagiarism. I had never received any flames before, and people, who are rude to me, I don't consider as flamers but simply as ignorant nobodies, that's why this post attacked me the hardest because it was not rudely written. But the writer of this post knew nothing about me; how could this person disregard my imagination so as to the point of accusing me of being a plagiarizer?

It was disgracing to me that people had read this post, and I couldn't even defend myself as the site was already expired.

And now what I'm trying to do is only to edit this fiction and try to write some parts over.

As to this person's opinion as to why my fiction was partly good and partly bad written, I could only explain that the bad parts were parts that weren't as inspirational as the good one. But I am not a plagiarizer.

And one more thing to add to this note is that I'm not an english native speaker -as the writer of the post had also assumed; yes, you're right if it makes you happy that I admit it-, but is that a problem? Should I not write anything in English because I don't speak it on daily basis? Now I'm not even going to that discussion about the freedom of writing, and shame on you to point out this fact only to bring the story down.

As to the statement that the post's writer said about Sesshoumaru and Kagome pairing is weird because it's OOC, let me just say that there is no dogma made by Takahashi Rumiko, who truly knows what their characters are, that says how the borrowed characters should conduct themselves. Talking about OOC, do we even truly know what the accurate OC is? Giving reviews and opinions about characters just to say they are OC/OOC is absurd. You think them OC because you approve of them.

The point of this author's note is -if the person, who wrote the post, read this; actually it's to all you flamers or moody complainants out there- be careful of what you wrote out of mood; if such post was meant to shoot my self-confidence down, well congratulations to you that you had succeeded, but one day when you experience the same thing you did to me, you'll know why it's better not to mix your petty grudges to your diction and then destruct someone publicly with it.