Yuki's mind wanders as Akito's hand raises and begins it's decent downwards. Out of old instinct Yuki closes his eyes, waiting for the strike that always seems to take an eternity to meet with the side of his face. His mind quickly informs him that that side of his face is currently throbbing with pain, Yuki does not worry about the delayed feeling, he knows the pain will come when it's ready along with spots of darkness and exploding stars. When he was a child those stars are all that kept him from completely passing out and proving his weakness to Akito, those bright specks dancing on the inside of his eyelids giving him a second of wonder amongst the ache. Akito's voice runs through his head, accusing him of some imagined crime that Yuki can not fathom ever committing. Akito's words crush his thoughts, he was remembering something wasn't he? But now it seems his thoughts have fled from fear of Akito's impeding wrath.
Akito's words make Yuki think of that dark room, of being a child in that dark room. He stands silently before his god, feeling well-known dread paralyzing him. He tells himself not to focus on the present, on the suffocating air in Akito's dim room, on the fury etched in Akito's murky eyes. He tries thinking of the past, but this proves quickly to be a bad decision, all he can think of is the bad things, of the humiliation, Akito's threats, Kyou's outright hate, and the first words Haru ever said to him being "I hate you!".
Akito's getting weaker, Yuki can tell by the not so severe pain he's in. Oh yes, it hurts, but in a dulled sort of way. This is his own way of measuring Akito's health, Hatori has his thermometers and heart monitors, Yuki has his pain. He can hear Akito's breath getting caught in his lungs, forcing itself out in short spasms. Yuki isn't comforted by this. He wants to hate Akito with all his might, he wants to yell and scream and hit Akito back, but he can't and he never will. Each time the paralysis that over takes Yuki is broken for a single second, and all the anger inside of him comes rising up, in that moment when he's ready to unleash a lifetimes worth of retribution, he will look up and see Akito as this sick and frail person, and the paralysis will come back leaving Yuki defenseless once more. It is why Yuki can never really go away, he will always return to Akito, like some idiotic moth entranced by flames.
Honda-san must be worried, Yuki thinks as Akito continues in his tirade. Oh that's it! He was thinking of her as Akito struck him! He almost smiles but knows to control himself, he can't put Tohru in any more danger than she already is. Yuki thinks of her, feeling himself slipping away from where he is. He wonders if she'll be waiting for him at the door of Shigure's house, like she does anytime any of the house's inhabitants leave to visit the inner house. She'll be smiling that smile that has made up for all the hugs the he never could receive, the love that no one ever tried to give him. She'll make a dinner that she knows he'll like, and say things that she doesn't realize make him smile. In those short moments this time with Akito will slip away.
"Are you even listening to me?"
Akito's words tear through him, and his eyes slowly rise to meet with Akito's enraged ones. The phrase runs circles inside his mind, taunting his brain to grasp them. He can see Akito's eyes scan the room with a look Yuki knows all to well, but Akito's favorites are no where to be seen. Yuki doesn't feel surprise when he sees Akito's thin hand grasp a glass cup. "At least it's not the whip", his mind reasons dully.
Yuki looks away with full knowledge that in simple seconds that cup will meet with his head. He knows afterwards Akito will step away from the blood swelling from Yuki's wounds with disgust and wave him away. Yuki knows that then he'll struggle to get to Haru's who'll open the door with that look on his face, nothing Akito does really surprises them anymore. He'll lead Yuki to the bathroom and stand dutifully, pushing Yuki's silver hair aside as Yuki weakly tries to wash his wound and make sure that no glass shards are still embedded. Yuki will wonder why Haru's never moved away, as Haru will ask in a soft voice if he wants him to go get Hatori. Yuki will shake his head no to the offer, and then hoarsely ask Haru not to tell anyone he's been at the main house. Haru will nod as Yuki will turn around to see Momiji standing at the door, his round chestnut eyes asking and answering his own questions. Without being asked Momiji will also agree to Yuki's request, before handing him a towel and gently helping him wipe his face. Momiji will smile that smile that makes Yuki feel like weeping, and say that they'll see him tomorrow. Yuki will begin the long walk out of the Sohma household and just before he reaches the door he will look back to where he knows Akito's room is to see the flash of white material as Akito turns away. He will get home to Shigure's subtle comments, and that strange silence Kyou is always in when he knows Yuki has just returned from the main house. This is the way it always is, nothing in this dying compound ever changes, everyone will turn their eyes away from Akito's eccentricities, and not truly meet Yuki's eyes until the swelling goes down, this is the way it is. But now there's someone waiting for him, someone to worry and care for him. Tohru will look at him with light and innocence in her eyes, smiling with an ease he never knew possible, brightening his day with words he never knew could have that effect.
Yuki almost smiles as the stars begin to explode.