A/N: Sorry this is a little late - I wasn't able to get onto a computer yesterday. The second half of this chapter used to be a songfic to Kelly Clarkson's Behind These Hazel Eyes, but in accordance to guidelines, I have deleted the lyrics and edited the chapter to work without them. Hopefully it still makes sense!
StephanieC:Yeah, I'm inclined to agree. He's a little...difficult. Lol. Here's the next chapter for you!
TriGemini: Hehe. You ask all the right questions! All will be answered and revealed soon.
pokey: Yep -unfortunately things won't get that much better for her for a while. There's a lot of Padmé-angst in this chapter.
tensixtythree: Your wish is my command!
LaPapillion: Lol, yep, they sure can. I think Vader's a very tragic character - more misguided than evil, in my opinion.
Laura-chan: Yes, I got the sarcasm, lol. I'm glad you liked the confrontation! Thank you for your lovely review.
vadersGrl: Thank you! I'm glad you like it.
Miss.S.P.:Welcome to fanfiction! Thank you for choosing to read this story. I'm glad you like it!
DarthLady14: Thanks for your review! It was lovely. Yes, the basis of writing this story was what it would have been like if Padmé was alive. Glad you like it!
Emily: Thank you! Glad you're enjoying the story.
That being said, read on!
Chapter Four
Luke stared at the remains of Alderaan. An entire planet obliterated. He knew that Obi-Wan had sensed the destruction – but they did not have time to talk about it now. Han was navigating the Falcon around the space dust, following a small TIE fighter in an attempt to silence it.
"He's heading for that small moon," Luke observed, pointing.
"I think I can get him before he gets there," Han said. "He's almost in range."
As they approached, it slowly became clear that it was not a moon.
"That's no moon – that's a space station," Obi-Wan said, eyes wide.
"It's too big to be a space station," Han replied, nonplussed.
Luke muttered, "I have a very bad feeling about this."
"Turn the ship around!" Obi-Wan ordered.
Han stared at the monstrous station in growing apprehension. "Yeah, I think you're right. Full reverse! Chewie, lock in the auxiliary power."
The ship shuddered, but they continued to move forwards.
"Why are we still moving towards it?" Luke cried, panicking.
"We're caught in a tractor beam! It's pulling us in!" Han replied, flipping switches frantically.
"But there's gotta be something you can do!" Luke exclaimed.
"There's nothin' I can do about it, kid. I'm in full power. I'm going to have to shut down. But they're not going to get me without a fight!"
Obi-Wan placed a hand on the pilot's shoulder. "You can't win," he said calmly and evenly. "But there are alternatives to fighting."
The conference room in the Death Star was cold and almost hostile, but Vader did not notice or care. He stood with Tarkin and Imperial Officer Cass.
"Our scout ships have reached Dantooine," Officer Cass reported. "They found the remains of a Rebel base, but they estimate that it has been deserted for some time. They are now conducting an extensive search of the surrounding systems."
"She lied! She lied to us!" Tarkin was incensed.
Behind his mask, Vader controlled his urge to roll his eyes. Tarkin was never good at reading people. "I told you she would never consciously betray the Rebellion."
"Terminate her…immediately!" Tarkin barked.
A strange, cold fear swept through Vader, an emotion he had not felt in years. For a moment, he froze – but then he repeated in his mind a lesson he had learned from Darth Sidious.
Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate. Fear gives you direction. Anger gives you strength. Hatred gives you power.
Vader breathed deeply and let the power of the Dark Side flow through him. He flexed his fingers, ready for the task. He would not kill his own daughter. Not when she did not know who he was.
The intercom buzzed. Tarkin pressed a button.
"Yes," he answered curtly.
"We've captured a freighter entering the remains of the Alderaan system. Its markings match those of a ship that blasted its way out of Mos Eisley."
"They must be trying to return the stolen plans to the princess," Vader said. "She may yet be of some use to us." He felt a vague sensation of relief, but he pushed it aside. Now he had to carry out his duty – there was not time to dwell on sentimentality.
He walked into docking bay 2037 as an officer and several armed troops exited the spacecraft that had been pulled in.
The officer approached. "There's no one on board, sir," he said. "According to the log, the crew abandoned ship right after takeoff. It must be a decoy, sir. Several of the escape pods have been jettisoned."
"Did you find any droids?" the Sith Lord questioned.
"No, sir. If there were any on board, they must also have jettisoned."
"Send a scanning crew on board. I want every part of this ship checked," Vader ordered.
"Yes, sir."
Vader looked around. He felt a strange tug on his mind, one that had been forgotten, but was very familiar. "I sense something…a presence I haven't felt since…"
He left the hangar abruptly. He did not wish to revisit that chapter of his life. It was over now. Over.
Tears blurred Padmé's eyes. It had been twenty-three years since she married Anakin Skywalker on Naboo, but the memory of their love was still warm and fresh in her heart. She remembered itlike it was yesterday.She had been brave then. She had been strong. The weakness did not set in until years later.
They had been on the brink of war, but when he had leaned down and kissed her, danger and fear had slipped away and it felt like they were the only ones in the galaxy. Just them. Together. And nothing could go wrong.
In one sentence, her world had come crashing down around her. How could her sweet husband have become a man so evil? A man who could do all these horrible things? This awful revelation left her broken, and she felt like she could barely keep her head up.
Long ago, his turn to the Dark Side had ripped her apart. Now the pain and despair she had felt then were creeping over her, swallowing her all over again, tearing her heart and her mind into shreds. The dull pain in her heart, the pain she had felt when the twins were born, now throbbed, fresh and new.
Leia sat down beside her and slipped her arm around her shoulders. "Are you all right?" she asked gently.
Padmé turned to her daughter, so grateful for her. Even in the midst of her grief for Alderaan, she still cared about her mother. She still was a caring and loving daughter.
She slowly shook her head. She couldn't lie."No," she whispered, hoarse from her tears. I can't keep being strong…Anakin, how could you? She wanted to cry those words aloud, not just in her mind. She wanted to scream and yell and sob until her husband felt her pain.
No – Darth Vader could not see her pain. He must not. She couldn't allow it. He could try to use it against her – and while this was something she would never have thought Anakin capable of, it certainly was something Vader would do. Somehow she had to hide it from him.
Yet how could she hide anything from him? He knew her completely, had loved her everything, and it had been his complete knowledge of her that had comforted her long ago. The way he knew exactly how she felt had made her feel safe and loved. But she had to try to hide her emotions - she had to try for her children.
She gathered her daughter close and held her tightly.
"What did he do to you?" Leia asked, her voice quiet but trembling with worry and anger.
Padmé pulled away slightly and forced a weak smile. She couldn't burden Leia with this knowledge – not yet. She was tired ofcovering up and pretending to be strong...but she couldn't let Leia see herweakness - not yet. It was not time to reveal the whole truth yet."I'll – I'll be fine. He just…frightened me, that's all."
Leia gave her a long, searching look, but nodded. "All right, Mother." She stretched out along the bench, ready to sleep, placing her head on her mother's lap as she had when she was a child.
Padmé smiled faintly and lightly stroked her daughter's forehead. She began to sink again into her dark memories, unable to stop the tide.
Her thoughts turned to that terrible day on Mustafar. The sting of his words cut her deeply – "You betrayed me!" Believing he had died was much less painful than knowing he was alive now, nothing more than a Sith Lord, all his values and ethics completely reversed.And it did not just feel like he had betrayed his values - it felt like he had rejected her, spit her out.
For a long time after the twins' birth, she had hated the way he had left her weak and lost. Losing him had almost killed her, and she had begrudged his memory for it. But after a month, she could not hate him any more. She still loved him. He was her husband, her everything. And he had given her two beautiful children, who had become her reason for living.
Yes, Padmé still loved Anakin Skywalker – and that was why she despaired now.
Anakin Skywalker had vanished now into the depth of Vader's darkness, and it hurt Padmé more than when he had choked her twenty years ago. Again, one question echoed in her mind – Anakin, how could you?
She glanced down at her daughter, who now seemed to peacefully sleeping. As she gazed into her beautiful young face, she remembered her promise to her babies. She had sworn she would be strong for Luke and Leia.
Padmé quickly flicked her tears away. She would keep her promise. The pain and tears would always live within her as long as Vader lived, but she would not let them surface anymore.
Anakin Skywalker was gone. It didn't matter how she looked at it – Anakin was not there.
She shifted and leaned back against the cell wall. But was he really gone? Why had Vader not killed her and Leia? Surely he would have hurt her somehow, if there was no good left… Was there hope? Or was she clinging onto a dream?
The door suddenly flew open in a cloud of smoke, and a lone stormtrooper rushed in. Leia sat up abruptly and stared at the trooper, who was simply staring at her. Padmé raised an eyebrow, peering through the smoke.
"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" Leia commented, not without some sarcasm. Even after torture and grief, she could find something to laugh at.
"What? Oh – the uniform," the trooper said. He removed his helmet, revealing a young face with bright blue eyes and dark blond hair. Padmé stared – could it be…? "I'm Luke Skywalker, and I'm here to rescue you!"
Luke? Padmé was frozen to the bench in shock. Her son – here on the Death Star. In her cell. With her daughter – his twin. My whole family, reunited – and I'm the only one who knows.
"You're who?" Leia asked, confused. Padmé tried to disguise her shock.
"I'm here to rescue you. I've got your R2 unit. I'm here with Obi-Wan Kenobi –"
"Obi-Wan? Where is he?" Leia leapt to her feet and began to follow the young man out of the cell. She stopped and turned back. "Come on, Mother!" she called, beckoning.
Almost in a daze, Padmé rose and hurried after her children.