Ldihawk: Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed. Thanks to the new reviewers random-idiot-v2 and Eleventh Guard! This update is only one chapter, but hopefully you'll enjoy it! Next one will be Sunday or Monday.
The Imperial Officer's Guide to Success (and Staying Alive)
Chapter 6: Accident Prevention at Work
The life of an Imperial Officer while glorious is also perilous. There are nasty firefights, blaster injuries, weapons malfunctions and exploding space stations to contend with. If you work as a stormtrooper or directly under Lord Vader, I strongly suggest you invest in the death/dismemberment insurance policy with the optional asphyxiation and vaporization package. If you are a stormtrooper, tie fighter or a gunner, you have the benefit of already having some protection from your helmet and armor. If not, rejoice in the fact that you will never have to worry about ground combat. Always remember—you can't advance if you're dead. Fifty-percent of all accidents occur in the workplace. I've compiled a list of the most common hazards and how to avoid them.
Falling into the reactor core or other chasm—Most large ships or space stations in the Imperial navy have them—the obligatory bottomless pit. Be advised that none of these have safety rails and it's a very long drop! A good Imperial officer always stays ten feet from the edge. Reactor shafts have a bad reputation, but they can also be an excellent place to get rid of an incompetent superior. You could be just a push away from a promotion!
Those pesky doors-At least twenty troopers are injured each year from running into doorways. Remember to look up and duck!
Weapons malfunction- The last thing a soldier wants is to be injured by his own weapon, but it happens more often than you think! Always make sure that your weapons are set to stun in training and the safety turned on when not on duty. Remember not to shoot blasters in cramped spaces as beams can ricochet hitting you squarely in the chest. Also, remember not to turn on a thermal detonator until you are ready to use it then throw it as far as possible.
Friendly fire- If you are an Officer remember that stormtroopers have notoriously poor aim. When engaged in battle make sure that you are always behind rather than in front of them.
Reactor overloads and destruction- When the main reactor overloads, make sure you are no where around it. In the event that it has been breached by torpedo, ect., find the nearest escape pod and ask questions later! If the reactor is destroyed, you have approximately ten minutes to get off the ship—so move! What do you do if you are unable to escape the ship? I suggest taking a moment to reflect on your career and remember how fortunate you were to be part of the Empire. Say a prayer to whatever deity you worship and say goodbye.