Ldihawk: Thank you again to the fantastic readers and reviewers! Here's another short update. I'll try to get another one up before the end of the weekend on a better topic!
The Imperial Officer's Guide to Success (and Staying Alive)
Chapter Eight: Dressing for Success
Your uniform is one of the most important and often ignored parts of your service. Your outward appearance sends a message to your superiors and the outside world. What does yours say about you? Many new recruits find themselves longing for a change from the grey dress fatigues and white trooper armor. When off-duty, you might try a black or charcoal tunic or even a red tunic. (If you are one of those men that fancies pastel pinks or cornflower blue, chances are you were weeded out much earlier). If you feel the need to embellish your uniform—Don't! An Imperial Officer always wears his dress uniform pressed and belted. Your cap should sit upright on your head—only Officer Dumbass wears his cap tilted! Your boots should be spotless—clean enough that Moff Tarkin could see his reflection in them. Wear your rank insignia at all times. You may be thinking—"I'm sure no one would notice if I gave myself an extra bar." This is unacceptable; however, should one of your superiors die in service, if promoted, it is acceptable for you to take his insignia. It's not like he really deserved it anyway. Remember—even in deep space—proper hygiene is a must! No one wants to sit next to a stormtrooper while he's baking in his armor after tromping through the desert all day. Your demeanor should at all times appear superior, confident, and cold. While laughing in malignant glee is appropriate on select occasions, giggling or smiling at crew members will get you a trip to the infirmary for a psychiatric evaluation. If possible ensure that your features are sharply chiseled and pale and your cheeks are hollow. As a general rule, the less physically fit officers don't live very long, so use Grand Moff Tarkin as your model!
Chapter 9: Hobbies or Is there life Outside the Empire?
Before you start collecting Heroes of the Alliance holos or take up Alderannian ballroom dancing—think! You will have very little free time, so you want to make sure you make it count! Your hobby should be enjoyable but should also promote you as a powerful servant of the empire. Here are some suggestions.
Start an ecclectic collection of primitive art.
Start a collection of doomsday devices.
Rebuild Imperial starfighters.
Take up an archaic form of combat.
Debunk the cherished heroes of small children.
Censor threatening manuscripts.
Become an expert on tax law.
Hunt small furry creatures for sport.
Plot destruction of surrounding star systems.
Invent new superweapons.
Take elocution lessons.
Here are a list of hobbies only Officer Dumbass would take up.
Play a rare stringed instrument.
Sing.
Volunteer at the Imperial Home for Unfortunates.
Collect vintage toys.
Learn regional dances.
Write about feelings in a journal.
Learn to cook.
Write children's books.
Garden.
Make any item of clothing.