Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. And I don't have enough money to make suing me worthwhile.

AN: Sometimes the stories in my head get lazy. Other times they just have to get out as fast as they can. This one has done both. Oh, and there are reasons for the kinds of flowers BB has been bringing.

Chapter 3 – Vicarious emotions

I slowly stretch my neck as I wait. For the first time in months Beast Boy is late, and I begin to wonder where he is. I close my eyes and slow my breathing so I can better hear.

Over the last months it has become a ritual for me. A hated, loathed, addictive, self-deprecating ritual. I come to the cave just ahead of Beast Boy and I watch as he cries and talks. And while he talks to her, I feel. Unable to allow myself to have my own emotions, I have been living vicariously through his.

It had changed that third month when he didn't cry. No longer did I feel the burning white hate I had come accustomed to. Instead I had been overcome with curiosity. I wanted to know what it was he said to her. I remember deciding that day that I would be prepared next time. And being confused that I planned on being there again.

"This is a private moment for him. I should not be intruding," I had told myself. And yet…

As that fourth month passed, Beast Boy was more nearly himself. And for me that was a mixed blessing. On the one hand, he was no longer usurping my place as the melancholy team member. And I no longer had to see the reflections of me in his face. On the other hand, Beast Boy was once again doing his best to fill the role of annoying green jester. Since I met him I have often wondered what it was I had done that karmic balance required him in my life.

The longer she was gone, the more we returned to our version of normal life. Daily fights over food between Cyborg and Beast Boy. Starfire's open fascination with Robin. The three boys playing something on the GameStation at all hours of the day. Robin's never-ending obsession to right the injustices he saw in the world. And me, sitting alone behind my book, sipping my tea, watching it all.

Until the day marking the fourth month after she died came.

That day found me in her cave on the ledge well ahead of Beast Boy. And there I did something I have become quite good at, and even better at disliking myself for doing. I used a tiny bit of my powers to bend space in the cave so that any sounds heard near the statue would also be heard on my ledge. The hard part was leaving space bent so that sounds on the ledge did not travel back to the statue.

Satisfied that I would be able to hear what Beast Boy said to her remains, I had settled down on the ledge and waited. Once again Beast Boy had arrived on time bearing flowers. Mixed zinnias that time. Once again Beast Boy had laid the flowers at her feet and knelt down in front of her. And as he had done the previous month, he began talking.

I had held my breath when he started, ashamed that I was listening, but unable to stop myself and return reality the way it should be.

"Hey, Terra," he'd begun. "Another month has passed and life in the Tower is still happening. Cyborg is still eating meat," Beast Boy's face had screwed up in distaste as he said that, "Robin is still obsessed with Slade… That bit with Slade's mask really didn't do him any good, you know? Star is still following Robin around like a puppy. And Raven is still creepy."

Beast Boy had spent the next half-hour telling Terra what had happened in our lives over that past month. Our run-ins with criminals that should have known better. Our training. His pranks and the ones Cyborg played on him. And through his telling I had begun to see our life in the Tower differently. With emotions.

When Beast Boy had finished his tales to Terra, he stood to leave the cave. And as he turned away, I had seen the slightest hint of tears in the corners of his eyes.

I had counted to thirty before I smoothed out the fabric of space, allowing sound to travel as it should. Then I had waited another five full minutes before slipping off my ledge and floating to land in front of her.

I stood there staring at her for a very long time, my eyes trying to burn holes through the stone.

"How can he talk to you like that?"

Still expecting the arrival of Beast Boy, I bent space in that now familiar way so I could hear what he said to her. And I waited, a small part of me hoping that he would not come today, and that I could quit this emotional voyeurism.