No, I'm not writing this fic as part of a challenge. I thought of this on my own; it just occurred to me one day that Miroku was going to get himself into a whole heap of trouble asking every woman that question, so here's what I perceive to be a somewhat humorous, somewhat serious punishment for him to endure. I really do like Miroku in the show, but I couldn't resist the idea of this. Oh, and I'm still going to refer to Miroku as a 'he' because he still has the mind of a man, just not the body. And so I don't get hopelessly confused…

It had been just a short time since Inuyasha and Kagome had left to scour the village for any signs of the sorceress responsible for this situation, but to Sango it felt like forever listening to Miroku groan in agony. She admitted she did feel sorry for him; true, he was an infamous prevent, but somehow she couldn't get herself to believe that he deserved this.

There had been times when she had thought of things to do in vengeance when his inappropriate behavior got on her nerves profusely, but this was definitely a new one. She had never thought that a woman would have the courage in this day and age to strike out against a man, especially one appearing to be a man of religious order, and she also had to admit that that impressed her too. Maybe the sorceress had felt threatened that Miroku would force himself on her if she denied him, though Sango knew with every fiber of her being he would never do this, but she couldn't have known that. To Sango it was an everyday thing, and to some girls it was humorous or flattering considering his handsomeness. But perhaps to this woman it had been threatening, or just too immoral for her to stand.

"Sango…can you bring me some cold water?" Miroku asked weakly, and she turned to see he was looking pale and feverish. This worried her; mothers becoming ill when childbirth appeared near could drastically affect the health of the baby, and cause problems during labor.

So without any more spiteful comments she doused a wet cloth in the brisk stream water and brought the rest of the basin over for him to drink of. He seemed grateful, drinking down the water so fast he became nauseous and momentarily looked even sicklier than before. She wiped down the length of his forehead with the cloth and continued staring at him, hoping her eyes revealed at least part of the worry she was feeling for him.

"I was sure that once you saw me like this you were going to refuse to help me," he said wiping away the excess water with the sleeve of his tunic. His swollen belly was beginning to put a bit too much pressure on the sapphire tunic he wore as he sat, and a few of the seams burst as he moved and shifted about, attempting to become comfortable.

"Well, I could have, and I probably should have. You thought so little of that seemingly harmless question for so long and it ended up getting you into trouble as I always predicted. But right now we have to worry about what's going to become of the child you're giving birth to; that's my biggest concern," she replied, and she instantly felt guilty for having sounded a bit uncaring for Miroku's health as well, considering he could suffer greatly or even die from giving birth. There was always a chance for every woman; sometimes the pain was too much or complications caused the baby to die, leaving the mother, or in this case the father as well in the same body, to anguish over their death until they too may pass away.

"You're going to take care of this child aren't you Miroku? Even if we somehow lift whatever spell did this to you after the birth and get you back to normal, the infant will still be your own."

Miroku looked up at her with confusion clouding his eyes. "What does that mean? Of course I'll take care of the infant; do you really think me as irresponsible as to abandon my own child?"

Yet Sango was already imagining herself or one of the others forced to take care of the baby while Miroku pulled the same stunt again on another woman somewhere.

"Hmmm, I wonder…" Miroku suddenly said, and Sango looked down and was stunned to see Miroku indeed following upon what she had sarcastically suggested earlier: he was groping himself.

"Will you please take this situation seriously Miroku?" she shouted, but Miroku seemed too preoccupied to listen. Sango had an increasing desire to smack a hand clear across his face, but for the sake of putting the child in no danger should he topple over, she restrained herself and finally forced him to wrench his hands away from himself.

"How can I trust you to deal with this situation like a mature adult when you're acting like this? You're about to give birth without any experience in how the female body works, and you're too busy groping yourself to care. Not to mention that that's just utterly disgusting as well to behold," Sango added at the end, and Miroku sighed and lowered his hands as she silently commanded; now it was his turn to restrain himself.

"I do want to take this seriously Sango, but it's as you just said, I have no experience in how females act. How am I going to be a mother if I'm stuck like this?" his worry was beginning to return that had subtly ducked away earlier, and Sango's pity for him returned, though she suspected it would be only momentarily knowing the dirty monk.

"Listen Miroku, we've all going to be here for you throughout this entire ordeal, but you have to act more responsibly. This means no more using your Wind Tunnel or combating in battle; you'll be risking not only your own life but your child's as well now," Miroku nodded with this statement, having already considered this for himself. "And we're going to start getting you ready for when you have to give birth; you'll be experiencing pain unlike anything you've received during conflicts, I can guarantee that," she sighed and looked out the door to where the afternoon light was beginning to intensify, beating down on the villagers as they went about their work. "I'm going to the river again and getting some more water for you; we need to keep you well-fed and hydrated so the baby is nourished."

She was just beginning to approach the door when she Miroku laughing softly and deviously from behind her.

"And stop groping yourself you pervert!"