Xellos sat on a nearby rock and glanced at the setting sun. The group would be arriving any minute. In the distance he heard the distinct sounds of Lina and Gourry quarreling and grinned. The welcoming sign to the town of Goodwill toppled over.

Xellos picked up the sign and fixed it, but not without altering it to say "Population: depends on the ruler's mood" The gang was seen in the distance. The sounds of a heated

argument became louder and more apparent.

"Nyara Nyara is SO much better. How can you think otherwise?" Zel rolled his eyes.

Amelia's head nodded in agreement

Gourry seemed puzzled. "But...Lina told me to say that Nyoharon was better."

"Because it is." Lina stated

"Oh, so you side with her because she TOLD YOU TO!" Zel began to raise his voice.

Xellos clapped his hands together. "Well, I know that this argument is so deep and emotional, but I believe it is time to make haste."

"What are you doing here Mr. Xellos!" Amelia exclaimed.

"Why, directing you to the proper place." Xellos motioned toward an old, rickety building.

"How can that be a proper place!" Filia yelled.

"Well, now... "

"That is a secret. Yes we know." Zelgadis interrupted.

"So I say we get a place to stay; find a place to eat, and go to bed." Lina announced.

"But as I said before, we must make haste. You see now, they only come every 50 years."

"Who?" Asked Amelia.

"The guardians of the relic of Dolphin." Xellos opened an eye for dramatic effect.

A long pause created the silence that followed.

"I've heard of that." said Zelgadis, "It gives great power to any who touch it."

"I know that!" Lina snapped.

"I didn't." Amelia mumbled

"Then why didn't you say anything?" asked Gourry to Lina.

"Because I didn't feel like it." She responded.

Xellos sighed. "Can we just get on with it?" for once he sounded exasperated.

Most of the group nodded in agreement. Filia turned away.

"I'm not going!" She declared.

"Fine have it your way. Turn down ultimate power."

"Ya know," Zelgadis whispered to Filia, "with that power you could actually inflict harm on Xellos."

Filia weighed her options. "Destroying Xellos. Being in the same room as him."

Eventually destroying Xellos won over.

"Fine I'll go. But I won't like it." She said.

Xellos was already way ahead, skipping towards the house. Amelia followed suit; after hearing that the item was "just". Zelgadis hurried on, not wanting Amelia to be alone in the same room as Xellos for too long. Filia hurried after them as well, not wanting Xellos to get the relic first.

"Common Gourry!" Lina called over her shoulder.

"Coming!" he called, picking daisies along the way.

"Hurry up!"

Gourry ran after Lina so as to not get murdered.

Amelia looked around the room.

"Wow." she mouthed.

Zel had just caught up, panting heavily. "Amelia, did Xellos do anything to you?"

"No."

Xellos jzumphed in next to Zel. "Unless, you want me to... It can be arranged."

Amelia looked horrified, as Gourry and Lina finally entered the house.

"Dusty!" Gourry coughed

"Ya think." Lina said sarcasm dripping heavily.

Gourry paused..."No, not really. Thinking isn't my thing."

Lina moaned. Zelgadis, who was feeling the walls for hidden passages, suddenly found a button concealed in the wood.

"Did you find anything?" Lina asked.

Zelgadis pushed the button. "I think..." He was puzzled as nothing happened.

"Lemme do it." Lina ran over and kicked the wall.

The wall suddenly turned and Lina and Zelgadis were trapped behind the wall.

"That can't be good." Amelia said.

Suddenly Xellos jzumphed away without a word.

Filia whirled around. "Hey where'd Xellos go?"

Gourry shrugged. "He did that jzumphy thingie."

"But where did he go?"

Gourry shrugged again

"I dunno." Amelia replied.

Lina banged against the wall. After a few minutes of pounding, she slumped against the wall.

Zel rolled his eyes at her antics. "You won't get through."

"Well I can still try. Can't I?" Lina remarked

Zel just sighed.

"Hey maybe there's a passage back here."

Black static appeared and Xellos stepped out from a black cloud of smoke. "Mind if I join you?"

"YES!" Zel shouted.

What!" Lina yelled.

"Yes? You mean I can come? Yippee!" Xellos pressed another secret button and walked through the passage that appeared.

"Well I guess following him is better than sitting on our asses feeling sorry for our selves." Lina said as she went to follow Xellos.

"I guess I'll have to agree with you on this one, Lina."

Amelia pressed against the wall. "Common open! Mr. Gourry please help me."

Gourry pulled out the Hikari no Ken and slashed at the wall. "No cigar. Sorry, Amelia."

"Well, Ms. Lina did something that made the wall turn around. All we need to do is figure out what she did."

Gourry stared at the wall. "Maybe I'm not the one to take care of this..."

"What do you mean?" Amelia looked at Gourry with a confused face.

He sweat dropped. "Even I know I'm not the brightest bulb...Maybe Filia should be the one to figure it out."

"Ms. Filia can you please come over here?"

Filia glanced up from looking for Xellos. "Sure. What do you need?"

Gourry pointed to the wall. "It no open."

"Hmmmm." Filia walked over and gave the wall a good thwack with Mace-Sama.

Nothing happened.

"Darn it." Amelia yelled. "Why won't it open!"

"Maybe it's enchanted?" Gourry suggested.

"But all Ms. Lina did was kick it..."

"Well maybe we should try kicking it..." Filia suggested.

Gourry kicked it, and fell down. "Nope."

Amelia kicked it. "Ow! My foot."

Filia put on a look of determination, and ran at the wall and drop kicked it; but to no avail.

"Damn it." She muttered.

Gourry sighed. "I guess we'll just have to find another way." He started walking toward another door.

"Should we split up?" Amelia questioned.

Gourry shook his head furiously. "No! I'm afraid of the dark!"

"Well then...I'll go with you. I know lighting spells."

Gourry thumped Amelia on the back. "Thanks!"

"Ow."

"Alright then I'll go this way and you two go that way. If anybody finds anything give holler." Filia said.

"Ok!" Gourry said.

And with that the group split up to look for Zelgadis and Lina.

"Xellos, do you have any idea where we're going?" Lina asked.

Xellos cracked open an eye. "Sore wa himitsu desu!"

"I should've known."

Zelgadis looked up. "Hey. Am I seeing things or is that a light up ahead?"

"No, there's definitely a light up there. Either that, or we're both going crazy." Lina squinted at the light.

Xellos grinned. "I can see it too. However, I take pride in myself for being mad."

Lina rolled her eyes. The light neared. Soon they were in a large ballroom.

"Wow. It's so big." Lina marveled.

"ECHO!" Xellos shouted. "EEEEECHO!

"Shut up!"

"No!" Xellos replied, grinning.

Lina reached over to strangle the Mazoku.

Zelgadis grabbed her arm. "We need to stay focused."

"Fine. Fine." Lina gave up on trying to kill Xellos.

Xellos walked over to the grand staircase. "How elegant."

"I can see this being a summer home for Amelia." Lina said.

Zel looked at a tapestry. "Yes, it's quite extravagant." He reached over to touch the tapestry. Suddenly, a white form burst out from it! Zelgadis shrieked.

WHAT THE HELL!" Lina yelled in shock.

The white form started to take on the shape of an old woman.

Xellos opened his eyes again. "A ghost."

"No duh." Lina narrowed her eyes.

Zelgadis was panting. "Who the hell are you?"

"I am the owner of this mansion." The ghost said in a melancholy voice.

"I kinda figured that, but who are you? What's your name?" Lina asked.

"I am Ethelfritha."

"That's quite a name."

Xellos walked toward the phantom. "I met her before, just a few decades after the War of the Monsters' Fall. It's been a while, Ethelfritha."

"Please, call me Ethel." she replied.

Lina blinked. "You know her?"

Xellos turned. "Of course. That's how I know of the relic."

"Oh."

Zel turned his back on Ethel. "Well, if she's an acquaintance of Xellos then I don't trust her."

"Well, Milgazia was an acquaintance of Xellos, and he led me to the Claire Bible." Lina commented.

Xellos jzumphed in next to Zel. "I must agree. You can trust her, I assure you!"

Zel brushed him away. "Yes, but Milgazia only knew you as an enemy."

"So why are you here Ethel?" Lina asked ignoring Xellos and Zelgadis.

"I must show you the way to the sacred relic of Dolphin."

"Ah, I see. So where is it?"

Zel shrugged. "Fine. I'll come."

Ethel moved to the top of the staircase. "Follow me"

Gourry shivered. "This passage is c-cold, Amelia."

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do about that." Amelia replied.

Gourry sneezed. "A-choi."

Amelia looked at him. "Was that a sneeze?"

Gourry cocked his head. "Yeah...? Why?"

"It's just that... it sounds really strange."

"A-choi. Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"Do you want a handkerchief or something?"

"Nah." Gourry said. All of a sudden, he was falling through a trapdoor.

"MR. GOURRY!"

Filia walked along the passageway she had chosen.

"Nothing to look at... just a whole lot of well... nothing." She commented as she walked.

All of a sudden the ceiling opened up, and Gourry came tumbling down.

"Gourry!" Filia yelped.

"Oi, Filia!" he said, after landing on top of her.

"Get off of me."

Amelia soon fell down too, also landing on her.

Filia's hand twitched under the weight of the two of them.

"Amelia..." Gourry moaned.

"Yes? Who's there?" Amelia looked around bewildered.

"G-Gourry..." he said, muffled.

"Oh. Where are you?"

"Under you."

"Huh. Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" Amelia blurted as she scrambled off of Gourry.

Gourry sighed and got up as well. Filia twitched.

"Uhh, Filia?" Gourry poked her with his special poking stick.

Filia didn't respond.

"Is she dead?" Asked Amelia.

Gourry bent over her. "Should I give mouth-to-mouth?"

"I don't know." Amelia said as she bent down to check for a heartbeat.

"Oh well." Gourry bent low over the dragon.

Amelia stood by and watched. Amelia's faced reddened as she watched the scene unfold before her. It went something like this. Gourry kissed Filia. Then Filia whacked him across the face with Mace-Sama. Finally Filia turned to sit facing the wall.

"Ouch." commented Gourry.

"At least Filia isn't dead." Amelia smiled slightly.

"True!" Gourry said brightly.

Filia faced the wall; face bright red. I can't believe he did that. She thought.

Gourry brushed himself off. "Let's continue!"

"Okay!" Amelia chimed.

"Can you...slow down!" Zel shouted at Ethel.

Lina and Zel ran after the speeding ghost and Mazoku.

"Why don't you speed up?" Xellos shouted back.

"We would, if we could!" Lina called back.

Ethel suddenly stopped. "This way."

She pointed to a tapestry portraying a mermaid. Lina and Zel finally made it up to the other two, panting.

"How do we get through?" asked Zel

"Isn't it obvious." Lina smirked. "In these types of houses, there are always secret passages behind tapestries."

Ethel laughed. "No, actually..." She stroked the mermaid on the tapestry. The mermaid came to life, wriggled a bit, and led them down another passage.

Xellos floated rather than walked as they followed the mermaid

After about 15 minutes Lina asked "Are we there yet?"

Ethel nodded. "Yes. Can you not feel the power approaching?"

Lina paused a moment before nodding.

Zelgadis grinned in a somewhat evil way. "I can feel it. It's very powerful."

Lina looked at the chimera. "Why are you grinning like that?"

"Like what?" Zel quickly dropped the smile.

"Don't pretend you didn't smile. I saw you, and don't deny it.

Xellos answered for him. "He wants the relic for himself to rid himself of the curse, and perhaps even defeat me."

Lina blinked. "And what if it doesn't help him with any of that?"

"As a wise woman once said, 'I turn violent.'" Zel said slowly.

Lina smirked. "So you finally accept the fact that I am far more intelligent than you."

Zel rolled his eyes.

Ethel interrupted them. "Quit quarreling. We're here."

Amelia hummed a happy song as the walked along the long winding passage.

"Hey, I recognize that song. Isn't that when you and Lina dressed up in those funny outfits...?" Gourry asked.

Amelia smiled. "Maybe."

Filia blinked in confusion behind them.

Gourry stared at her for a second, then realized something. "Oh yeah, Filia doesn't know about that. Now, we were in search of the Clear Bibble, and we came across this book. Now it told them to sing this song and..."

"Me an' Miss Lina sang this cute lil song, in these cute lil outfits. Miss Lina didn't like it that much, but I thought it was a lot of fun. We also learned the Mr. Zelgadis had a lovely singing voice that day. Since he had to relay the lyrics to us." Amelia continued. "After we sang the song it turned out that the book was of nothing but festival songs. So we gave the book and outfits to Mimi and Naynay (these two twins that followed us). And we all lived happily ever after."

Gourry blinked. "I didn't remember all that."

"Um...Well that's typical for you Mr. Gourry."

"Is it? I never really thought about it that way..."

Amelia and Filia sighed and continued their way down the passage.

Gourry was amusing himself by bringing his fingers together and apart close to his face. "Hee."

"Um...Gourry? What are you doing?" Filia asked.

"Hee..." he replied.

"Hello, Earth to Gourry. Do you read me?"

"Try this!" Gourry did it again, slower. "Did you do it?"

Filia looked at Gourry like he was either crazy or possessed or even worse, both.

As time passed and they continued down the twisting tunnel, Gourry got bored of his finger trick and put his fingers to better use by poking the girls.

"Stop it!" Filia exclaimed.

"But I'm playing 'Poker.' Haha, get it? 'Poke her?' 'Poker?' Hahah..."

Filia gave him a swift whack with Mace-sama

"Hey look!" Gourry said, unfazed. "Some stairs!"

"Hey you're right!" Amelia exclaimed as she ran up them.

They came to the top of the stairs and looked around.

"What are you three doing here?" Zel asked.

"HIYA MR. ZELGADIS!" Amelia yelped as she ran towards him.

"Hey there!" greeted Gourry.

"Gourry!" Lina yelled. "What in the nine hells are you doing here!"

"I dunno." He shrugged. "Why are you here?

"We're following her." Lina pointed at Ethelfritha.

Ethel waved.

Xellos looked impatient. "The door to the relic is right here. This is no time to chat."

"What's the hurry?" Asked Gourry.

"Sore wa himitsu desu." Xellos replied, calming down.

"So let's go!" Lina pushed.

The group opened the door slowly. It creaked loudly. A blinding light flashed for a moment. A small chest lay in the center of the room on a platform. Lina-tachi and Ethel walked over to it (well in Ethel's case floated) and gazed at it with admiration.

"Pretty..." mumbled Gourry.

Filia went out to touch it.

"Careful!" Ethelfritha whispered urgently. "It's very old."

"I will be." She responded

"All who touch it receive infinite power..." Zel murmured under his breath.

Glittering, warm light glowed from the chest as Filia's finger touched it. A voice rang out:

"Ye have found the chest of Dolphin. Ye shalt now be granted power beyond your dreams. This power shalt never fade, or melt away. You hath been granted the power to converse with those who dwell the seas."

Amelia blinked. "So what does all that mean?"

Zelgadis twitched. "It means we can all... talk to fish now."

Amelia beamed. "I've always wanted to talk to fish!"

Xellos started laughing uncontrollably. "Oh, this is priceless."

Filia stared. She slowly turned around to face the group, and promptly fainted.

Xellos laughed more.

Gourry poked Filia with his stick.

Lina sighed. "We should've known that it would be something like this. It always is when we listen to Xellos for information on anything important."

Zel growled, "Xellos, you fruitcake!"

Lina turned as well. "Yeah! You said that it would grant us unlimited power if we touched it!" She leaned over to strangle him.

Xellos managed to control his laughter. "Well, didn't you hear the voice? It said the power would never fade. It is unlimited, just not in its variety."

Gourry shrugged. "Oh well. Fish can be cool people I suppose."

Lina glared daggers at him. "NO THE THEY CAN'T, JELLYFISHBRAINS!"

"How do you know?" he said, nodding. "Now you can find out for sure what they think about us eating them all the time."

"I DON'T CARE!"

Zel groaned. "Fine. Let's go get some rest." He sulked out of the room.

"Mr.Zelgadis wait!" Amelia raced after him.

Filia still lay unconscious on the floor; she twitched occasionally.

Xellos gave her an electric shock to wake her up. "Rise and shine, Lizard lips."

Filia bolted up. "DON'T CALL ME THAT NAMAGOMI!" She shrieked.

Gourry blinked. "Like a lovers' quarrel..."

Filia turned face ablaze. "Wh-What did you just say?" She asked.

Xellos followed suit at yelling at Gourry. "Me! And a DRAGON!"

Lina smiled. At least this was the one ray of sunshine in her day.

Zel returned to the room, being pushed by the back by Amelia. He stared at Xellos and

Filia shrieking at Gourry.

Amelia blinked. "Um... what's going on?"

Xellos turned on Amelia. "NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL IS GOING ON!"

"But it looks like something is going on."

Gourry said, "Yeah. I said something and they got mad."

"What did you say?" asked Zel.

"I can't remember."

"Once again that is typical of you Mr. Gourry." Amelia stated.

Lina decided to fill Amelia and Zel in on the events that had just occurred.

Zel suppressed a laugh and regained his cool. "Interesting."

Lina nodded. "It obviously means something."

Xellos punched her lightly. (Lightly for him, anyway) The blow still sent her flying a good 4 feet backward.

"Ow! DAMMIT XELLOS!" She yelled.

"Never." Xellos growled.

Lina ran over and gave him all she had. (Which for her size wasn't all that much)

The punches bounced off of Xellos like he was made of solid steel. Ignoring her, Xellos walked out of the room. "It's time we left."

Filia mumbled something inappropriate before begrudgingly agreeing with him.

Gourry trotted off with them. "You guys coming?" he asked.

Zel nodded and followed. Lina muttered a string of curse words as she followed. Amelia shrugged and brought the rear.

"And so I said, 'Like a lovers' quarrel.' And Filia exploded! Like..."

Lina sighed. "I can't believe it just had the power to enable you to talk to fish. I feel like a loser right now."

Zel sighed. "At least nothing bad came from it."

"Yeah I guess you're right"

And as they left the town, Ethel's voice floated on the wind: "Aw, you kids!"

Ish Da End!

Inside joke alert: In our twisted minds, Selea-chan and I made it so that Zelas-sama's catchphrase was, indeed, the last quote of the fic.