Welcome to the third installment of Essential Ron-ness.

Many thanks to the reviewers of ER II: the Desert Fox, mattb3671, MrDrP, Azu Luna, JPMod, Zaratan, Rowena, Jezrianna2.0, conan98002, Darlene, Dixon-San, Louis Mielke, spectre666 and surforst.

Special thanks to MrDrP for taking the time to beta read this.

Disclaimer: Disney owns all the Kim Possible characters. I maybe own Berg, but what good is he?

Disney's

Kim Possible

in

The Latin Lovers

(An Essential Ron-ness Story)

by
campy

Chapter I
Amor vincit omnia ...

Deep within the evil lair of the mad scientist Zoltan Demenz, also known as Professor Dementor, two figures crept quietly along a ventilation duct. Their mission: Save the World.

One, a boy with messy blond hair and freckles, dressed in black and gray, carried a small hairless rodent in his pants pocket. The other was a svelte, attractive girl clad in white trimmed in sky blue, with flame-red hair framing her moon-shaped face, and large, expressive green eyes. They were teens (the boy and girl that is, the rodent was younger), best friends, and heroes; famed around the world as the field operatives of Team Possible. Well, the girl was famous — she was still working on getting her partners their due.

"I'm still not sure about this plan, KP," the boy whispered.

"Ron, it's the only way. You and Rufus need to plug the Kimmunicator into Dementor's system so Wade can hack in. I'll keep the musclemen occupied. Once Wade has control you can unplug and come help me — if I even need help."

"No offense, KP, but these guys are supposed to be stronger than Hego, and super fast too. Plus the HenchCo infomercial says even some medium-size handgun ammo won't hurt them. I don't want you fighting them alone."

"Don't put so much stock in HenchCo hype, Ron. Even if they really are that tough I'm sure I'll be able to avoid them with my cheer moves. Besides, we don't have a choice. Shutting down Dementor and stopping him from releasing the pathogen are the top priority. Okay, here's the vent for the computer room. Good luck, you guys."

Kim continued until she reached Professor Dementor's inner sanctum. No sign of the guards … I sure hope they didn't find Ron. Of course, Dementor has to be on the other side of the room … it would be too easy if I could just jump on him from this vent. Well, here goes …

"Surrender, Dementor!" Kim demanded.

"I will NOT, Kim Possible! Nothing can stop the release of my pathogen into the Gulf Stream!" the diminutive megalomaniac shrieked, pressing a button on his console. "Elite Guard, to me THIS INSTANT!"

Doors on either side of the room slid open and six of the largest men Kim had ever seen stormed into the Command Center, lining up flanking their employer. All were well over seven feet tall, and looked to be about four feet wide across the shoulders. Their gray body suits stretched tight over bulging muscles, and each sported a thick gold-colored ring studded with glowing LEDs on his right index finger.

"HenchCo musclemen, Dementor? Been there, beat that." Kim affected a yawn. "At least the wiener dogs were original. You should have stuck to them. Oh, sorry; I know that's a sore subject ..."

"Do not count your victories before they have been won, my young foe. Each of these men is as powerful as TEN wearing the first-generation Molecular Muscle Enhancer. They are capable of running 1500 meters in three minutes while carrying a 200-kilogram load, and they are practically impervious to injury. As a team, they could defeat an entire infantry company with their bare hands. However, I am feeling generous today. I will allow you to fight them one at a time. Feldwebel Berg, subdue Kim Possible!"

The largest man-mountain detached himself from the group and approached Kim confidently.

Kim didn't wait for him to reach her. She charged at the giant, launching into a series of handsprings, and unleashed a powerful kick that caught him smack in the face. The HenchCo-enhanced brute merely stared impassively at her as she fell at his feet, pain shooting up her right leg from foot to hip.

"Okay, maybe there's a little more to these goons than hype," she muttered, rolling clear and rising to her feet.

Pushing aside the pain, she charged again and punched the guard in the solar plexus with all her might.

"Ow, this is so wrong!" she hissed through clenched teeth, rubbing her sore hand.

Furious now, she kicked the supersoldier between his legs as hard as she could. The only noticeable result was that now three of her limbs were throbbing with pain.

As Kim hopped around trying to think of what to try next, Berg reached down with inhuman speed and clamped a massive hand around her left ankle. Straightening up, he held her upside down as easily as if she were a sack of feathers.

"Ron! Where are you? A little help, please." she hollered.

"Right here, KP!" Ron came out from behind a massive mainframe computer, Kimmunicator in hand, and pointed the device at the guard holding Kim. A blue beam shot from the emitter port on top and struck the man. Ron let the light wash over him for a moment, then gave the other five behemoths the same treatment.

Suddenly the beam disappeared and the Kimmunicator erupted in a burst of sparks. Ron flung the device away with a yelp and began slapping at his pants, which had caught fire in a couple of places before falling down around his ankles. Professor Dementor and his six Elite Guards looked at one another and started to laugh at Ron's antics. No one noticed the first tiny sparks and wisps of smoke issuing from the HenchCo rings. Everyone in the room, however, noticed when the six enhanced guards began to scream in agony, fall to the floor and shrink back to their normal size. Dementor sputtered with incoherent rage.

Ron, having remedied his wardrobe glitch, quickly ran to Kim, her erstwhile captor having dropped her, and helped her to her feet. "You okay, Kim?" he asked in a concerned voice.

She nodded. "I'm fine, Ron. Nothing's broken, thanks to the Suit."

"Sorry about the delay, KP. Wade had a little trouble hacking into the system, but he made it. The pathogen release is cancelled, GJ will be outside in two minutes, and explosions should be starting right about …"

Muffled explosions were heard coming from the more distant parts of the lair.

"... now. By the way, mad props on the bon-diggity distraction job."

"Thanks, Ron. That's high praise coming from you. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a runt to capture." She ran off in pursuit of the fleeing Dementor, pausing briefly to spray the other five guards with constricting elastic, immobilizing them.

Ron watched her go, then turned his attention to the now rather less imposing figure of Feldwebel Berg, who was starting to crawl away. Grabbing the goon by a baggy sleeve, Ron hauled him to his feet and slammed him against the wall. "You," he snarled, getting right in the man's face. "Dude, you are so lucky Kim's okay. If you had hurt her, I'd be so angry right now ..." Ron could feel the mystical power surge within him. He fought for control; he knew that if he allowed the Power to nourish the dark emotions now simmering deep inside him he might lose his very soul.

Berg was terrified. No longer the super-powerful giant strutting around a high-tech lab, he was still taller and stronger-looking than Ron. It didn't seem so to Berg, though. He felt like a very small animal at the mercy of a jungle beast. He thought he could even smell the jungle closing in around him.

"Come on, Ron!" Kim shouted, as the fires and explosions neared the command center. "Let's get these prisoners out of here and hand them over to Global Justice."

Remember, Kim's okay, Rondo, he told himself. Focus on Kim. Peace and love, it's all good. "That girl is the most important person in the world to me, Dude," he told the quaking thug. "I love her." He let go of Berg and stepped back, his sunny side asserting itself again, the Power quiescent once more. "Now, let's get you and your buds out of here before this place blows up."

With the Kimmunicator non-functional, Team Possible borrowed a GJ comm radio to call Wade.

"Okay, Wade, mission accomplished." Kim reported. "You were right, as usual — a few seconds of the anti-Hench-tech ray and the Kimmunicator went kablooie."

"Good thing Dementor called all his guards to himself when you dropped in on him, so Ron could zap them all at once."

"Just like we planned it. We'd have had a rough time if we'd left any still enhanced. My best kung fu was like nothing to those guys. They were way too powerful."

"Not to worry, Kim. By the time you go on another mission the beam will be completely reliable. I'll also build one right into the Battle Suit. And Ron will have one in his new battle outfit when it's ready."

"All right! My own supersuit! The Ronman finally gets his upgrade!"

Kim leaned over and whispered in his ear, "I happen to think the Ronman is pretty amazing right off the shelf."

Ron grinned at the compliment and wrapped an arm around his girlfriend's waist.

"Yeah, Ron," Wade went on, "and I designed it so there's no way you can accidentally turn the systems against yourself."

"Don't get cocky, Wade," Kim teased. "You're dealing with the Ron Factor here. Chaos, remember?"

"Hey!" Ron protested.

"So have you got a ride home for us, Wade?"

"I do, Kim. I called in a favor from Granny Crockett. Should be landing in about half a minute."

"Mmmmm, cookies!" Rufus exclaimed.

Kim and Ron looked up and saw a hover jet descending to meet them.

"Hmm," Ron mused, as the jet landed and the door opened to form an access ramp. "There's something very familiar about this plane." The two teens climbed the ramp and entered the spacious cabin. The figure in the command seat swiveled around to face them. It was an automaton in the form of the head and torso of a human pilot, wearing a blue jacket, a necktie, and a military officer-style cap.

"Now I recognize it! This is the jet I leased for us when I had the naco millions! Yo, Robo-Pilot Dude! You're working for Granny now? Sweet!"

"Good afternoon Mr. Stoppable, Miss Possible, Mr. Rufus. Welcome to Chip Force One. I am very pleased to see you again. I do not understand this term 'Robo-Pilot Dude,' however. My designation is Multi-Robotic Flight Electronics Exosystem and Navigational Information Entity."

"Now there's a mouthful." Kim observed, settling onto the upholstered banquette.

"Indeed, Miss Possible. Perhaps that is why my developers shortened it. They call me MR FEENIE."

"Mister Feenie? Huh?" Ron said, obviously perplexed. "Oh, I get it! It's one of those acker numb thingies …"

"You mean 'acronym,' Ron. A word formed from initials or parts of words."

"Ri–i–ight. KP, don't bother trying to teach me any English right now. All I want to do is pass that Latin final tomorrow and get on with the most badical summer vacay ever! Hot summer fun for the Ronman and his hot girlfriend!"

"Okay, Ron. Sounds like a plan. Let's get started studying." She reached into her backpack and pulled out her well-thumbed copy of Wheelock's Latin. "Did you bring your study guide?"

Ron just sat back and stared at Kim under raised eyebrows.

"KP, you want to study now?"

"Yes, Ron. What else are we going to do?"

Ron sat up and slid closer to Kim, affecting what he liked to think of as his debonair superspy face. "Well, Agent Possible," he said, in a mock-Etonian accent (or maybe it was an Estonian accent) as he placed a hand on her knee, "I don't know how you in the colonies do things, but in Her Majesty's Secret Service it's our practice to … (hand moves higher) … debrief … (squeeze) … after a successful mission."

Kim took Ron's wrist and lifted his hand from her thigh. "Double–O puh-leeze, Commander Blond!" she said with a laugh. "You're telling me you want to make out when we have our Latin final at nine tomorrow morning?"

"Kim, Kim, Kim … You really don't understand guys, do you? For future reference: you never need to ask that question. I always want to make out with you. C'mon, we've got two hours' flight back home, and the closest thing to a chaperone is ol' Feenie here. We'll have plenty of time to study when we get back to Middleton."

"Look, Lover Boy, I like to make out with you too, but right now we need to study. It was your idea to take Latin in the first place."

"Uh-huh, yeah, Kim. That's when I thought I'd be cooking up a batch of quesadillas or something for the final. Not trying to learn a dead language."

"You think Latin's dead, Ron? Your love life will be even deader if I lose my straight-A average because of you. Oh, and for your future reference, I have no intention of dating any mere junior next year, so you're going to want to pass this exam too. Otherwise you'll be enjoying hot summer school with Mr. Barkin while I'm hanging out at Lake Middleton. In my new swimsuit. My two-piece swimsuit."

"T– t– two? P– piece? … Simswoot? …" Ron's gaze traveled lasciviously up and down Kim's Battle Suit-clad figure. In his mind's eye the form-fitting suit disappeared, leaving only tanned, glistening skin and a few tiny bits of cloth.

"I was hoping you'd be around to help me put suntan lotion on," she cooed coquettishly, "but I suppose I could ask someone else …"

He blinked four or five times, then shook his head as if reeling from a Kim Possible roundhouse. Reaching for his backpack he rummaged inside, quickly locating his own textbook and study guide, as well as his Latin-English dictionary. "All right then, let's get studying. Okay, we've got our cases: Nominative, for the subject of the sentence; Genitive, indicates possession, that's like when we stick one of those up-high commas and an 's' at the end of a word in English; Dative, …"

It's amazing what a little motivation can do.

Thus ends Chapter I.