Disclaimer: I don't own Holes, and never will!

Note: This story does not follow "Holes". I am simply borrowing... everything from it. LOL. Okay, in other words; all the original boys of D-tent will be here (not including Barfbag and Twitch) and the Warden and Mr. Sir. Yeah, you know the drill. Onwards!

The Inspection Of CGL

Chapter Two ll Notes: Meeting THEM

--

I dragged my overnight bag and slung my backpack over my shoulder as I followed Mr. Sir past grey tents and rundown buildings towards an old fashioned cabin that was built right next to two dying trees with a hammock stretched between them.

Gee… that wasn't a long sentence.

Quiet, you.

"That's the Warden's cabin," Mr. Sir growled, dragging my beautiful pink suitcase across the dirt and getting dust all over it. I winced.

Beside the Warden's cabin was a fairly large orange tent.

"That's where you'll be staying."

Oh, how very pretty! The tent looked very new and fashionable. Accommodation for Important People: rating on a scale of 1 - 10 - 9.

"Not sure why the Warden's out to impress you," Mr. Sir continued to growl as he continued to spit out sunflower seeds, which made me continue to tap dance every now and then to avoid the "bullets" coming from his mouth. "But she is, and she's taken a lot of care to make sure your stay is very pleasant."

She?

Well, this "Warden woman" obviously knows the power and authority I possess! BOW DOWN, I SAY! Bwahahahaha.

I opened the tent flap and peered in. The inside of the tent was silver, and it was pleasantly cool. There was a pink blow-up airbed near the corner, complete with a thin pink blanket and a fluffy pillow.

Awww, how nice!

There was an obviously new, white crate in the other corner, which had three blue towels in it. On top of the crate was shampoo, nice-smelling soap and a brush. Well, someone's got their priorities right!

Mr. Sir obviously noticed my looks of appreciation because he growled (yet again), "It's the Warden's doings."

(Note to self: must thank Warden woman at one point. )

He looked at the clipboard as I put my bags down and wrestled my suitcase from his grip.

"It says here you'll be staying for a month," he growled. I wonder if there's any dog blood in his family. It would really explain the perpetual growling.

"You are to meet the Warden after this," Mr. Sir's voice had suddenly gone business-like. "Then you will meet the counselor of the tent assigned for you to report on - D-tent, in this case - " his lips curved into a grin, and yet again I wondered what was so amusing, " - therefore, you will be meeting Pendanski, then those seven delinquents."

Hey! That's so mean of him to call them delinquents. I mean, I'm allowed to call them that 'cause my social status is higher up.

But deficient men like him do not have the authority!

Hmph.

"Mr. Sir," I said sweetly, "May I ask you where the lake is?" It was the politest way I could think of asking him.

Mr. Sir laughed - no, actually, he guffawed. I tried taking a mental note down, but I was trying to remember all the other notes I had taken down of him and was honestly fearful my brain would explode.

"A 'lil late for that now. Dried up over a 'undred years ago, girlie!"

STOP CALLING ME GIRLIE.

Sheesh, does that man have a problem?

(NOTE: The camp needs to acquire more sane-in-the-mind employees.)

"Um, okay then," I said slowly. Suddenly, I felt tired. I just wanted to fall asleep, but I still had to meet the Warden woman, that pen dancing guy and those "delinquents" of D-tent that Mr. D finds giggle-worthy.

And I needed a shower desperado-ly, 'cause I have been sweating in my T-shirt and jeans for the past ten hours!

"Quickly, the Warden doesn't have all day." Okay, so it's back to growling. Well, two can play that game!

Growling and grumbling under my breath, I followed Mr. Sir out of my beautiful tent and towards the cabin. He knocked on the door, took off his sooo-out-of-fashion cowboy hat and pressed it against his chest.

Oh, please.

The door opened and a tall woman stood there. She was extremely freckled and had curly red hair.

"This is her," Mr. Sir introduced me.

The woman raised her eyebrows at him, then fixed her brown eyes on me kindly-like, "The girl the AG sent?"

La di da. I tried to peer into the cabin. It was air-conditioned. Too bad it wasn't air-conditioned everywhere. (NOTE: Needs more funds to have air-conditioning in every building and tent. Maybe a few out in the desert.)

Yeah, right.

"Did you show her where she is to stay?" the Warden woman asked Mr. Sir, who nodded while gazing at her love sickeningly.

I hit what his intentions and feelings were and tried not to throw up.

Mr. Sir gave her the clipboard (with all my information on it) and she read it with critical eyes.

"Andromeda?" she repeated with a smile, "Very nice to meet you. I'm the Warden of this camp but you may call me Ms. Walker. I hope you enjoy your stay here," then to Mr. Sir, "Which tent have you assigned her to report on?"

Well, she seems nice. And I'm not being sarcastic here! But... maybe she's being... overly nice. Y'know, people who are just out to impress you so you won't badmouth their property? Kinda like being a health inspector!

"D-tent."

I was starting to get annoyed at that word. D-tent.

But then, maybe it wasn't what I thought it was. Maybe it was actually... a word. Fascination. But what could it be?

Deetent?

Ditent?

Dietent?

"D-tent?" the Warden repeated (AHH! THAT STUPID WORD!) with raised eyebrows, "...Well, I expect them to be on their best behaviour. I'll get her a can of soda, then let her rest for about ten minutes before taking her to meet Matthew Pendanski and those boys. I doubt any of them are back yet - " she checked the golden wristwatch on her right arm, " - they barely finished lunch twenty minutes ago."

Wow, that made a lot of sense.

I wondered what the boys do at this camp. I had suddenly realised that the compound was basically empty. I hadn't noticed anyone around except for a few counselors.

Sigh.

I was beginning to doubt the excitement and supposed "badness" that is supposed to happen at his camp. I mean, where's all the cruelty and suffering that is supposed to be inflicted on the delinquents? That's the whole reason why I'm here. TO CEASE ALL BADNESS AT CAMP-GREEN-LAKE THAT HAS NO LAKE 'CAUSE IT DRIED OVER A HUNDRED YEARS AGO, GIRLIE!

…I want a cookie.

The Warden woman had gone back into her cabin, then came back out. She handed me the can of Coke that had magically appeared in her hand with a light smile, then told me some stuff (like how I could go to the toilet and take a shower in the bathroom in her cabin.)

"Laundry's done every three days," Mr. Sir added.

"WHAT?" I screamed, absolutely mortified.

Three days?

In this weather?

Are they trying to kill me?

Well, this is certainly going in my report!

Three days!

"Laundry will be done everyday for you, Miss Williams," the Warden woman said quickly, glaring at Mr. Sir, "We all understand that girls have exceptions."

I smiled at her. She smiled back, then waved goodbye and closed the door. I was left on the porch with Mr. Sir.

"Get back to yer tent, and I'll see yer in ten minutes," he said gruffly, "Yer've gotta meet Pendanski and them, then yer'll take a shower, start writin' those 'lil reports of yer in the Wreck Room, and then join the boys for dinner. Don't go thinkin' it's all gonna be easy. Yer're not diggin' any holes but the delinquents here aren't gonna give yer an easy time. This innit a girl scout camp."

And with that, he walked off as only one who wears an out-of-date cowboy hat walks.

HUH?

Can people here talk SENSE?

All I heard was "holes" and "delinquents".

Awww, man. I need my hearing checked.

--

Ten minutes later, Mr. Sir was standing at the entrance of my tent. I hadn't done much but tie my brown hair into a ponytail and spray myself with deodorant. Over and over, and over... and over again.

Oh, and I had drunk my can of Coke. (Big beam there.)

Meanwhile, I took out my notepad and jotted down some notes of the camp so far. I realised it wasn't all that bad.

"The girl scouts have almost finished for the day," (finished what?) Mr. Sir gruffed at me, as I followed him to where all the other tents were, "Pendanski's here, anyhow."

For the first time, I saw a few figures dressed in orange jumpsuits stalk across the compound. They stopped short and Looked at me. Yes, with a capital L.

Okay, so what if I'm a girl?

I'm beginning to feel quite scared 'cause one of them just winked at me.

AIYEEE! RUN AWAAAAYYYYYYY!

I sped up to catch up with Mr. Sir, who was walking quite fast. He reached one of the grey tents that had a big "D" on it.

D-tent.

MAN, I hate that word!

"Pendanski?" Mr. Sir barked, "The girl is here."

"I have a name," I said angrily. I couldn't help myself this time. Ever since I got to this pancake of a place, I'd been called nothing but "that girl".

Mr. Sir looked at me in surprise. Then he smiled, which was... surprising.

"I know yer've got a name," he paused to spit out yet another sunflower seed, "But it's too dang long."

I know Andromeda's a long name, but that's not my fault! My parents gave me and my sister really prissy names because we're growing up in a prissy place. I mean, honestly. Cecily and Andromeda. Cecily's not as bad, but I'd rather any other ordinary name like Charlotte or something.

Actually, Charlotte's kinda prissy too...

Yes. The time has arrived for me to shut my trap.

A short man walked out of the tent, carrying a clipboard. He had a straw hat on his head, (even worse than Mr. Sir's cowboy hat!) a lot of sun block on his nose (it looked like someone had smashed a cream pie on his face and he hadn't bothered to clean it off his nose), and socks up to his shins.

Ai yah.

(NOTE: Needs to employ people with better fashion sense.)

"Hello!" he said brightly, "I'm Mr. Pendanski, counselor of D-tent! You'll be doing a report on me, I hope you won't write bad things!" He laughed cheerfully.

Oh, this man is amusing! I'm sure we'll be the very best of friends!

"Hi!" I said, just as cheerfully with an overly big smile, "I'm Andromeda, and I'll be inspecting this place! If you'll be nice, then I'll write nice things about you!"

Mr. Sir was rolling his eyes.

(NOTE: Rude man still does not show signs of respect.)

Mr. Pendanksi beamed at me, "Well then, I suppose I should be showing you around! You know where you'll be sleeping, right?"

I nodded with exaggerated enthusiasm.

"Good! Well, maybe I should leave one of the boys to show you around. They're rowdy, but very sweet at heart."

Oh, really?

"Don't get all softy on her," Mr. Sir growled warningly, "Our duty is to show her what happens everyday so she can observe it."

"I know," Mr. Pendanski said, still cheerily, "Well then, Zero and Theodore are already in the tent. Perhaps you'd like to meet them?"

"Err, yeah. I suppose so," I said uncertainly. Who would name their child Zero?

I ducked under the flap (the door) of the tent, following Mr. Pendanski, who's my new best friend. (Big grin there.)

The tent smelt horrible. From what I saw when I stole a glance around it, there were seven cots and seven crates. There was a small boy (yes, a very small boy) lying on one of the beds, and a large boy who was... attempting to break-dance on the floor.

"Theodore, Zero! Meet Andromeda, she's the girl sent to inspect the camp!" said my new best friend.

Oh... yay for me?

The boy on the floor stopped break dancing and looked up at me.

"You said her name was?" he asked Mr. Pendanski.

"An-drom-meh-dah."

"Andro- An-drah- what?" the poor boy spluttered.

See how many problems my name has caused?

The small boy with the incredibly fluffy hair was staring at me.

"Err - hi?" I tried.

He looked away, scowling.

Well, sorry!

While the black boy on the floor was still struggling with my name, Mr. Pendanski said, "I think I can hear the others coming. Come on, Andromeda."

I followed my best friend out of the tent, and saw a group of boys in orange jumpsuits walking towards me. Then I realised why I hadn't noticed any boys when I got here. They were all so dirty and dusty and out in the desert oh-so-far-away that they simply blended in with the background.

RUN AWAY!

"Boys!" Mr. Pendanski called to them, waving.

They all looked at our direction straight ahead and Looked at me.

I'm getting a little sick of that Look.

"WHOA! Who's the chick, Mum!" one of them shouted.

...Chick?

Chick?

CHICK?

Whatever happened to DECENT gentlemen?

Then I remembered how juvenile camps weren't exactly the best place to look for polite young boys.

Remember how I said I live in a PRISSY place? Yeah, well, it's a tiny little suburb just outside of Texas. It's full of rich and successful people whose only problems are their neighbours' gossip. They all try to live it up and compete with each other when it comes to social standing.

Sometimes, I really hate living there. There are parties, banquets and dances thrown, and other stuff for charities. Every house is a mansion and it's right near the shoreline so it's a really nice place. Still... everyone who lives there is a snob.

Including me. But my family are some of the "less-infected" people. Hehe.

So, of course, all the boys in Palmoilin (that's what the prissy place is called) are gentlemanly people... Or so their parents and all the adults think. They just torment us girls' lives out. Still, none of them have called me a "CHICK" before...

Honestly!

I looked at Mr. Pendanski, and then turned to look at the crowd of boys.

"A little rowdy, but softies nonetheless," he reminded me as the boys grew nearer and nearer.

Errr, right.

"Boys, this is Andromeda. You heard they were sending someone to inspect the camp. This is she."

Whoopdeedoo. I'm very glad to meet you all.

NOT!

I glanced at them warily. They were all... intimidatingly tall.

Why did I have to be so - short?

There was silence.

"What did you say her name was?"

Oh, SHEESH.

Dear Mum and Dad, PLEASE RENAME ME!

"Just call me Andii," I said shortly, "It's what everyone calls me at home."

"You coulda told me that!" someone said behind me. I jumped and found Theodore with Zero behind him, at the entrance of the tent, "I've been trying to say it since when Mum told me!"

I rolled my eyes. No offence to them, but... immature prats is my report so far.

Then the introductories began.

X-Ray, Zigzag, Squid, Magnet, Caveman.

Huh?

Rex, Ricky, Alan, Jose, Stanley.

...HUH?

This sure is confusing.

There was a black boy who had extremely large and thick black glasses. His name was either X-Ray or Rex.

There was a really tall dude with crazy blonde hair. His name was either Zigzag or Ricky.

There was another tall guy with brown hair and brown eyes. His name was either Squid or Alan.

There was a Hispanic boy who spoke Spanish. His name was either Magnet or Jose.

There was the biggest boy of the group there, with brown hair and eyes. His name was either Caveman or Stanley.

The other two I had met before were Theodore (also called 'Armpit') and Zero... whose name could also be... Zero.

(NOTE: Boys all seem to have two names... highly confusing. Am not sure if this is the camp's fault. But an important note, nonetheless.)

And sheesh, how dirty were they? Yuck! Ewww! Gross!

"So... what's up, chicka?" the Hispanic man named Jose asked me with a charming smile.

I just Looked at him.

"Yo, don't call her that, man," X-Ray/Rex said, sounding like he was rapping or something, "Not till we get to know her better, ain't that right, girl?"

I felt like saying, "Yeah, right on, dawg!"

But... I just nodded.

Sigh.

"Why can't we call her chicka?" Squid/Alan whined. He was the one who had called me the "CHICK" when yelling to Mr. Pendanski. What an ungentleman!

I glared at him, but he merely grinned back. He was chewing on a toothpick, for crumpet's sake!

(NOTE: Boys should be supplied with gum.)

Where's my notepad when I need it?

"Now, Andii will be interviewing each of you," Mr. Pendanski started to say, "One of you for three days. She'll be following you around and asking questions. All of you must answer them - yes, even you, Zero. I understand that it'll be distracting while you dig your holes, so the Warden has requested that you only need to dig a three foot by three hole on the days Andii interviews you."

There were a few "Aww, sweet!"s and "Awesome!"s around the group of boys.

Through all this, I stood there. Feeling like a freak show. It was sooooo hot. I looked up to the sun and began to curse it. What did I ever do to you, huh? Huh?

"Now, that's about it," Mr. Pendanski said dismissively, "I hope you all treat Andii like she's one of you," (aww, I feel so special) "I'm sure you'll all become terrific friends. I'll see you all at dinner. Oh and Rex, before you take your shower, please show Andii around."

Just what I wanted!

And now for the grand tour, I thought dully as the rest of the boys filed into the tent muttering things like, "See ya 'round" and "Where're you sleeping?"

As if I'm going to tell them. Bah, and have them sneaking in at two in the morning?

I think not!

I turned to look at Rex. He was black, rather bulky and muscular with those super-thick black glasses. Actually, I was rather intimidated by him until he smiled, and I relaxed.

Who knows... maybe we could be like, second best friends!

Okay, don't mind me.

"Alright, ready for a wonderful tour around Camp Green Lake?" he asked me, beginning to walk down the compound.

"I guess so, Rex," I said uncertainly.

"Don't call me that, the name's X-Ray," X-Ray said rather roughly. Then his voice dropped back to normal and he continued on, "Now then 'lil gal - " ('lil gal'?) " - that's E-tent, and F-tent. F-tent is where Mum and the other counselors sleep. That's C-, B- and A-tent. Weird dudes in them ones. Shower stalls are there - " I looked and saw a large, roofless building, where the walls were raised up six inches from the floor, " - and that's the library."

The "library" was an old shed full of shovels, and it looked like several other people had discarded their shovels on the floor outside of it.

"Ahh, what's with the shovels?" I wanted to know.

X-Ray gave me a sideways glance while we continued to walk, "Don't you know 'lil gal? We dig holes - builds character 'ccording to Mum and Mr. Sir. One hole every day - five foot deep and five foot wide. Boring as, but what can ya do?"

Dance on top of a car and sing nursery rhymes?

"Dig holes?" I gasped, stumbling on a stray bit of dirt and almost falling flat on my face, "Isn't that - boring?"

"You betcha 'lil gal. But I've been here for almost a year... I gets used to it," X-Ray looked like he was completely indifferent about it, which I found fascinating.

I mean, who in the name of heavens wants to be stuck out in a scorching pancake digging holes?

"That's the Wreck Room and... that's the Warden's cabin. WHOA, MAN! I have no idea what that orange thing is."

"That's my tent," I explained loftily, not realising my mistake until it was too late.

NOO! Now they'll be lurking around oh-so-early in the morning.

"Your tent?" X-Ray raised his eyebrows, "Lucky 'lil gal. Guess the Warden's out ta impress ya."

I didn't say anything. I just looked around, "Is this it?"

"Yep, that's Camp Green Lake for ya," X-Ray said, nodding around, "I better get back. See you at dinner?"

I nodded uncertainly.

"Alright then, later 'lil gal."

He grinned at me because he saw my annoyed look. Well, I don't really fancy the nickname 'lil gal.

Who would?

Okay, maybe some weird creatures from outer space, but I am not one of them!

"Consider it a good one," X-Ray said with a grin, as if reading my thoughts, "Better than Barf Bag, ain't it?"

...Well, he was right there.

--

A/N: Okay, due to the BIG response the first chapter got, I decided to post quickly! (beams) Thank you sooo much for reviewing! It was so nice to see all them reviews! (beams again) And to be a real big COOL PERSON, please go and check out my Zero story! It's called My Angel, My Only and it's about Zero's life before and during Holes. Thank you again! - msq.