Part 3

We had been taken to the gate and the guard carrying Carter threw her down to dial the gate. I knelt down to see if she was still with us.

'Carter?'

She opened her eyes at the sound of my voice. She tries to get up but winces. She turns away so I wont see she's in pain and I try to reassure her that it's okay.

"Where are we sir?"

This troubles me. She doesn't know where she is. She then starts to rub her head and I see the reason for her confusion.

She's staring at the blood on her hand. She tries to hide it but I've seen it.

"Carter you've got to stay awake, do you hear me? That's not a good sign. I need you to be alert and ready. Do you understand major?"

She's sagging to one side but she mumbles, 'yes sir."

I'm yanked up off the ground and thrown to the side.

"I said no talking. She will pay for your insolences."

He smacks her across the face and she falls. Daniel yells out no and Teal'c starts to curse at them.

They laugh and I want to kill them for hurting her.

She doesn't move and I want to pick her up and take her away from this madness. She won't last the night if they continue to pick on her and losing Carter was not an option.

When the time was right I would get her home.

The gate opened and I am ordered to stand. Daniel is yanked up and lets out a yelp when I hear a bone pop. I look at him and he is trying not to cry out. He knows this is what they want, but will not give in. Sam is picked up and thrown over the shoulder of the same Jaffa that had brought her to the gate. She is bleeding and I will her to live. She can't leave us, not now.

She can't leave me or I wouldn't have anything left to live for.

We walk through the gate and arrive at Ba'al's new fortress. My stomach starts to turn and I can feel the sweat starting to trickle down my back.

I catch Teal'c's eye. He sees me and knows that this is affecting me more then I let on. He tries to reassure me that all will be well. I acknowledge his silent words and turn my attention back to Carter.

She has been unceremoniously dropped in a heap in front of us.

She is in bad shape. The staff blast is bleeding again, and the blood coming from her concussion is evident.

"Jack, we've got to do something. She's not going to live through another beating."

I look at Daniel and see the torment on his face. If he only knew that it would get worse now that we were in the fortress. He has very little recollection of when he was ascended. He had been my lifeline in the days I had been stuck in this hell hole. They all had been there with me in my mind willing me not to give up, but in the end I almost did.

I still have the same nightmare of me at the end of my rope and Carter cradling my head and willing me to live for her. To take the symbiotic to live for tomorrow.

I would not have done it if she had not asked. But seeing her in pain, knowing we would not have the future we had both wanted but couldn't have, hurt me. I didn't want her to think I was selfish, that I was tired of fighting, that I would give it all up if she would only ask. So I agreed and had wished later that I hadn't. I could say it now that I hated her for making me do that, but I couldn't hate her forever. She would have done the same thing if I were to ask.

The jaffa instructed the elders to move Carter to the wall.

The wall.

The place I was attached to and was now the main attraction in my nightmares. My time in Iraq was nothing compared to my time on that wall. I could imagine my blood was still on that thing, mocking me, saying it couldn't wait to get its hands on me.

My hands start to shake, but I know what I have to do.

"No, I think bocce ball wants me first."

The doors open and I don't have to turn to know who has just walked in.

"Colonel O'Neill, welcome back. I hope we can make you and your friend as comfortable as you were last time."

I close my eyes and start to count. Hoping I reach ten before my mind decides to scream out.