Disclaimer: I don't own Holes, and never will!

The Inspection Of CGL

Chapter Three ll More Notes: Obscure Dinner

--

I was sitting on my airbed with my notebook in front of me. I had a pen positioned in my hand, ready to write, but -

I had no idea what to write.

With a sigh, I put down my notebook and pen and lay back on my airbed. After X-Ray gave me the "grand tour" I went back to my tent, picked out some clothes, took the blue towel from the crate and knocked on the Warden's door.

She answered, looking ready to push someone off the cliff, saw it was me and smiled. I asked her if I could use the bathroom and she responded with a, "Of course you can, dear. It's just over there. Take your time!"

She really is a splendid woman. Someone's getting a good report.

Anyway, after my shower, I thanked her and sat outside of my tent for five minutes to "blow-dry" my hair (with the sun). It really works, even in the late afternoon. It was still so hot. I also earned a lot of stares from boys, which really irritated me. I can almost see them say, "Who's the chick?"

CHICK.

Gah, may that word dig a hole and bury itself.

When my hair was dry, I remembered Mr. Sir's order - err, request, and took out my notebook to write down my view of Camp Green Lake so far.

Too bad I had forgotten everything. You see, this is my page:

THE INSPECTION OF CAMP GREEN LAKE

Notes:

And that's it.

Sighing again, I tried to remember bit by bit. And finally, I managed to jot down a little bit. It wasn't much, but at least it was something as opposed to nothing.

o- Needs to employ more polite people.
o- Needs better buildings and facilities.
o- The Warden of the camp seems nice.

I couldn't think of anything else, so I put away my notebook and took out the Very Important sheet the Attorney General himself had given me. It told me everything I needed to do in a month's time. Which was a lot.

File a report on the Manager of the camp. (The Warden woman.)
File a report on the Assistant Manager. (Which I'm guessing is Mr. Sir)
File a report on one counselor of one group. (Mr. Pendanski, my best friend!)
File a report on all of the boys of one group. (D-tent delinquents, I suppose.)
File an overall report of Camp Green Lake, including the accommodation, food, water etc;
Prepare an oral talk with the Attorney General that you will have after the assigned amount of time (ie; one month).

I was beginning to regret coming here at all when there was a voice directly outside of my tent.

If that's X-Ray or one of those delinquents, then I'm so going to kill... them!

"...it's dinner now, so get to the Wreck Room, girlie."

I grit my teeth and forced myself not to throw something at the tent flap.

Discarding my stuff and leaving my tent, I saw Mr. Sir walking towards the Wreck Room.

So I followed.

I entered and saw what I guessed was the cafeteria, which was part of the Wreck Room. All the boys were seated at the seven long tables. I figured they sat with their tent mates.

At my arrival, most of them looked up.

GULP.

I stood there for a little while. Then something hit me.

All these boys were criminals!

What the heck had I gotten myself in?

All those boys of D-tent, X-Ray and Magnet and whatnot... they're all criminals! How could I forget?

Sheesh, there's something wrong with me. Honestly.

Now... if these guys are criminals... then I'm in danger. Danger? Think, Andii, think!

I'm gonna be murdered in my bed!

Hey?

But... they seem sort of nice. Immature prats, yes. But still sort of nice.

So anyway, I had been standing there for about thirty seconds, lost in my thoughts with all these boys staring at me.

"Hey, chicka!" Squid yelled from a table in the corner. I turned and looked at him.

Uh oh.

I felt like running away. Maybe, like, I could have dinner with the Warden or something. A girl to girl dinner. Fun fun!

But Mr. Pendanski bounded up to me like a hyperactive puppy and grabbed my arm, "Hi Andii, had a nice afternoon? Come join us for dinner!"

...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. My fate is sealed.

As I was led to the D-tent table, I heard boys murmur, "Hey, who's the chick...?"

I'm beginning to appreciate being called "THE GIRL" now. Perhaps this is my punishment for back chatting to Mr. Sir and telling him that I actually had a name.

"Yo, she's sitting with D-tent..."

"No kidding, man! Why did they get the chick?"

Mr. Pendanski dropped me in a seat between Zero and Armpit.

They looked at me.

I looked at the table.

I felt hungry.

I looked at their food.

It looked like an obscure sign of hatred from... Martian Man!

Bwahahahaha.

Oh dearie me. Being confined in this place is making me go crazier than I already am. MUST - RETAIN - SANITY.

"Sooo..." Squid said, dragging the poor wee word into five syllables.

None of the other boys said anything as they shoveled down their Obscure Dinner. It looked so... disgusting. I felt nauseated. Food: on a scale of 1 - 10 -- negative 5000000000.

"Yo, 'lil gal, aren' chu gonna get your dinner or somethin'?" the one they call Armpit (who smells like a dog) asked me.

"Fine," I muttered, automatically standing up. I walked over to the kitchen-y sort of place and got a tray, a plate, a fork and a knife.

Oh, wonderful.

I slowly walked over to the serving area, and slowly slid my tray across the metal bar, hoping that everyone would notice my slowness because I was betting it would be important of my personality, as I was, as they call it, a "CHICK".

The older boy serving the Obscure Casserole (one of the many delightful things you can order with the Obscure Dinner Package!) was about to ladle the obscurity onto my innocent white plate, when he stopped short and looked at me.

After three seconds of nothing attacking my plate, I looked at him.

He was still gawping at me.

I quirked an eyebrow.

"You're..." he whispered, looking at me with wide eyes.

Oh, no. At that moment, I was reminded of those scenes in movies, where best friend boy finally notices his best friend girl after forty-minutes of useless movie scenes, and he just looks at her and says, "You're... beautiful." And then best friend girl also looks at him and is like, "You're... so... HOTT!" And then they kiss and live happily ever after.

I'm betting this wasn't about to happen to me.

So anyway, the boy in charge of the Obscure Casserole was still staring at me, open-mouthed. I was debating in my mind whether to move onto the soup or continue to wait another five seconds before leaving. But at that moment, he finished his mid-sentence.

"...a girl."

Mmmhmm.

"You don't say, Blockbuster," I muttered. Okay, this time, I couldn't help myself. I mean, honestly! Does it really take ten seconds of staring as if you're looking at an octopus with fifty legs to register the fact that I'm a girl?

Overall, these boys seem to have massive amounts of trouble accepting the fact that I'm a girl. (NOTE: Boys have been deprived of feminine company for quite some time. Good or bad?)

"Give her the food already, moron!" one of the boys from the D Group yelled.

Precisely what I was thinking.

Mr. Casserole Man snapped out of his reverie and attacked my plate with the... stuff. I nodded slowly, and moved on. By the time I had reached the end of line, I drew in a deep breath. It had been a grueling experience.

And I am not exaggerating.

I turned back around (slowly of course) and glanced around the dining hall, a joint part of the kitchen and Wreck Room. Most of the boys had subsided in staring at me, but I could still see them sneaking occasional glances.

I looked over to where I had been originally sitting and felt my heart sink. Maybe I could switch groups or something.

Actually, forget that. I wanted to leave this place!

Sighing, I reluctantly and slowly walked back to the Group D table and sat down in my seat.

"Can I have your bread, 'lil gal? You're not gonna be diggin' holes, are ya? You don't need the bread," X-Ray proclaimed for me.

I glanced down at my tray as he reached over to take my slice of white bread. It was about the only distinguishable thing on my tray, so I snatched the bread back, but was too late.

"Noooo! I want my bread, I WANT IT!" I wailed, trying to get it back.

Whining is the best technique. It even works on Cecily! (My four-year-old sister.)

X-Ray raised his eyebrows, then sighed and tossed me the bread back so that it hit me smack in the face, " 'Lil gals always have to have their way."

That's right, macho man!

The bread slid down onto my plate to reveal my sulking and crumb-covered face. Most of the boys were laughing their heads off. Squid reached over, grinning, and brushed the crumbs off of my face.

" 'Lil girls gotta be clean," he informed me soberly.

Hem, I have a feeling that one day, I will grow up and throw these boys into JAIL! BWAHAHAHAHA. Oh wait, they're already at a juvenile camp.

So I stuffed my face with the piece of bread and chewed angrily, scowling at them all. Okay, so what if I act childish? I betcha everyone does. Right?

They began to talk about holes and cameras and microphones and (bless my soul) coffee beans, and I was quite content to just tune out and chew conspicuously on my slice of bread. Zero also didn't have a say in anything. He was sitting right there, beside me, eating his Obscure Dinner almost robotically, as if he couldn't taste the attempted food-poisoning in the Obscure Casserole.

My, my.

I think I'm obsessed with the word "obscure".

"So then, 'lil girl," the crazy blonde dude known as Zigzag said to me when I had almost finished eating my bread, "Mum said you're gonna interview us. Who of us s'going first?"

"Oooh, pick me! Me!" Squid said in exaggerated enthusiasm, jumping up and down with his arm thrust into the air.

I shot him a look, "You're definitely going last."

He pretended to pout. Even his brown hair seemed to wilt in his supposed disappointment. It would almost be comical if we were in different circumstances.

The others laughed, except Zero. (Of course.)

With a little woeful sigh, I lowered my spoon, scooped some food, squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to have a bite.

...Chew.

Chew.

Chew.

Chew.

That wasn't so bad.

"So, who is going to get interviewed first?" the slightly overweight boy we know as Caveman wanted to know.

I shrugged while shoveling down another spoonful of the casserole. It tasted like beans, carrots, beef, gravy and potato all mashed together.

"Don't put so much pressure on the 'lil girl," Squid said, grinning, "We can arrange the order ourselves, and let her puny brain rest, right?"

They're seriously taking this " 'lil girl" thing too far.

I mean, c'mon, I turn fourteen in a couple of days, and from what I know, the oldest in D-tent is only sixteen. And how would they know my age, anyway?

I expect it's your lack of inches, dearie.

Hmph.

"Yo, interview us in the order we line up for the water truck," X-Ray told me.

Whatever that meant, I didn't get it.

Seeing the confused look on my face, he added, "It goes me, Zig, Pit, Squid, Mag, Caveman and Zero."

"Okay, but Squid-boy's going last," I said, smiling disparagingly at Squid, who pouted yet again.

"Aw, man, how long's gonna take you to in-ter-veiw us?" Armpit wanted to know.

"Uhhhh, well, Mr. Pendanski - "

"Mum," Squid and Armpit said sharply.

" - Mum said it's gonna take me three days for each of you, and there's seven of you, so - " I started to say.

"Twenty-one days," said a quiet voice beside me.

AHHHH IT'S THE ATTACK OF THE BRADY BUNCH!

Then I realised it had been Zero talking. Man, is that boy little. We both happen to be within an inch of each other's height, with me being the TALLER one.

Yes. I'm quite proud.

"Twenty-one days," I repeated, giving Zero a long, hard look. How had he figured it in a nanasecond? He merely glanced at me, then resumed eating.

"Whoa man, you made Zero talk," Zigzag said, looking amazed. In fact, the whole table had paused eating to stare at me and Zero as if we were freak shows or something. I'm not sure if Zero was too, but I was certainly getting used to all the staring and Looks. Being the only teenage girl for miles is clearly something fascinating for the boys. How... bad.

I wanted to leave.

LEAVE THESE DELINQUENTS, I SAY. BWAHAHAHAHA.

Momentary moment of insanity has passed.

"Yeah, the only dude who's done before that is the Caveman," X-Ray said, still on the subject of Zero speaking.

I looked at Zero, "You should really talk more, it seems entertaining for these de - boys."

He didn't seem to have noticed me, but I could see a small smile tugging the corner of his mouth.

"Anyway, chicka," Magnet said, attacking his casserole with his fork (he didn't seem refined to calling me " 'lil gal"), "How long you staying?"

"A month," I sighed, thinking how elongated one month had suddenly become.

"Lucky," Caveman said grimly, poking at his Obscure Casserole, "I've been here for a month. Another seventeen to go."

The others murmured a disgruntled agreement.

"Lighten up, if I say horrible things about this place then you'll all be home free. Though I'm not sure if that's a good thing," I said without thinking.

There was a sudden gleam in Squid and Magnet's eyes that made me feel uneasy. Really uneasy.

"So, like, if we give you a really sh - "

"You cannot swear in front of a little girl!" Squid said loudly. I rolled my eyes at him, and he simply responded with a, "Just protecting your innocence, your majesty."

Magnet took a second to recollect himself, "Ah, yeah, sorry 'bout that. Anyway, so if we give you a really bad impression of us, then this place gets closed down, right?"

"...Not really, depends on the impression the actual camp gives me," I said slowly, then added with a smirk, "And so far, it's not a good one."

They all seemed happy at that.

"However," I said loudly, "If this place gets closed down, you'll probably be thrown into jail."

Aaaand this reporter reports that... all their faces fell.

"You just ruined all my dreams, chicka," Magnet moaned.

(NOTE: Boys do seem to have a future planned.)

"Your dream is to train animals," Squid said pointedly.

"Yeah, so? Still more than what you got."

Squid shut up.

(CANCEL NOTE BEFORE.)

"What are you gonna ask us, 'lil gal?" X-Ray asked me while pegging a piece of dismantled carrot at Magnet.

I tried to remember what the piece of paper had told me, "Uhh... why you got sentenced here, how you like it here, what you do everyday - dig holes, I guess - and a bit about your past," I paused and realised how invading that would be, and quickly added, "Actually, forget the last part. I won't ask about your past."

But X-Ray waved it off, "No, we'll tell you. Won't we?"

All of them nodded, except for Zero who had his head bent down.

"Okay then..." I said slowly, swallowing another part of my dinner, "D'you mind giving me a quick review now? All of you? Otherwise it'll take ages for me to understand your complicated lives."

Okay, so what if I'm a smart student? I have a pretty dodgy way of understanding things, and like my friends say, I am kind of slow.

"Sure, chicka," Armpit said indifferently.

"Me first," Zigzag said as if he was a little kid fighting for a chocolate chip cookie.

"Alright then," I said uncertainly, then choked on a stray pea that had made its way in my throat.

Yes, I know perfectly well food travels through your throat when you swallow it - and yes, I know therefore it means it didn't make their way there by itself - I know...

Shut up!

I kept on hiccoughing, and I heard Squid say, "Aww, didn't they cut the food in bite-size pieces for you, 'lil girl?"

I glared and was ready to throw a pea at him when Zigzag said, "Ahem." He was clearly impatient.

"Yes, dear, go on?" I said in an exaggerated British accent.

Zigzag stared at me and began to hiccough. See? It's not just me having trouble with those pesky peas.

(NOTE: Camp kitchens should acquire smaller, more-swallowable food.)

"What did you call him?" Armpit asked me in amazement as he thumped Zigzag on the back. (It's amazing how I've memorised all their "names".)

I raised an eyebrow, "What, did I give him a seizure or something?"

X-Ray shook his head, "If you've been here long enough, you wouldn't expect anyone to call you "dear"."

With that, Zigzag choked again.

Squid just Looked at him, "You alright there, Ziggy? Dear?"

Zigzag made a gagging noise and his head thumped onto the table, causing the trays to all jump.

"Dear?" Magnet tried with a grin.

More choking noises. I realised I was never going to get Zigzag talking with all these delinquents calling him 'dear'. What had I done?

"Dear?"

"Dear!"

"Oh, Ziggy, dear."

"Wanna cookie, dear?"

I think Zigzag was about to die.

"You guys, be quiet!" I yelled at the delinquents, "No one say dea - that word again."

And they all did shut their mouths up. Little girls have power! Bwahahahaha.

It took Zigzag approximately three minutes and forty-one seconds to calm down.

"Okay, boy, start talking," I ordered as soon as he was capable of speech.

Zigzag coughed one last time, "Okay, okay... Well, my mum was a drunk because my dad beat her up all the time."

Whatever I was expecting, it wasn't that.

"Um, okay... why is that?" I said, trying to overcome my shock because no one else seemed the slightest bit fathomed.

Zigzag shrugged, "Dad just beat her up - and mum drank to escape from the pain."

Okay, that really shocked me as well. I mean, beating up people? And getting drunk is practically illegal in Palmoilin, so that horrified me quite a bit as well.

"Continue..." I said slowly.

Zigzag shrugged again, "My dad left when I was nine, I think. He was an alcoholic before and he always beat my mum up 'cos of problems at work or whatever. Money was tight in my household."

Money has never been a problem for my family, obviously. We always have plenty of it.

"After he left, mum started to take out everything on me. She was into drugs and booze, and she was never around. We didn't have much money and it was hard to find food. When we did have a bit of money, she would spend it on herself," Zigzag said indifferently, as if it brought no emotion to him.

"That's pretty stupid and careless of her," I couldn't help saying.

Zigzag glared at me, "Hey, it's not like she could help it. How would you feel if your husband beat you up all the time?"

"I wouldn't marry such a person," I said loftily.

"You think she chose him like he was? He just turned into an abusive man afterwards!" he exclaimed heatedly, looking ticked off.

"Why didn't she move out or something?" I wanted to know.

"Where else could we go?" Zigzag grumbled.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you didn't have enough money for that," I said before I could stop myself. All right, you probably think I'm a stuck-up snob. But I truly found it hard to believe his mother didn't have enough money just to move out.

That's what happens to you when you live all your lifetime in Palmoilin. You just don't discover how horrible the real world is.

All the boys were glaring at me. Even Zero seemed to give me a sort of evil look.

Gulp.

"No, we didn't have money for that," Zigzag spat. I should've been scared, but I wasn't. I honestly had no idea what I had done or said wrong.

"Or at least family or friends to move in with - " I continued pressingly.

"Not everyone has family," little Zero spoke quietly.

"Or friends," Zigzag said, trying to keep his voice low.

"Well then, your parents were a bit stupid."

Okay, I didn't mean to say that. It just slipped out. I was so confused and quite annoyed. I just didn't understand why Zigzag was so protective of his mother when she did so many horrible things.

"You - " he said furiously, standing up.

X-Ray and Squid immediately jumped up on either side of him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Be cool, man," X-Ray said.

"And you, 'lil girl," Squid said to me, "Weren't you trained not to say anything if it wasn't nice?"

I scowled as Zigzag sank back down, still glaring at me.

"I just don't believe anyone could be so horribly - confused," I murmured.

"Welcome to the real world," X-Ray said condescendingly. "Where've you been if you didn't notice that?"

Well, time to come clean.

"Palmoilin," I muttered.

"Diamondville?" Armpit scoffed, "Where the dogs prance around in ribbons and bow ties?"

Let me explain something. Palmoilin to other people is often referred as "Diamondville".

"No wonder you act how you do," Magnet said, looking suddenly disgusted.

That made me boil. It was like they were all turning against me just because I came from that place!

"Diamondville..." Zigzag murmured. He had a smirk on his face, "Where everyone thinks they own the world. Get bent."

"Not everyone there is like that," I hissed at him. He had no right to say such a thing!

"Oh yeah? You haven't got us convinced," X-Ray said, raising his eyebrows.

Magnet nodded, "Thought you were too weird to be a regular chick. This explains a lot."

Well, that was harsh. So far, only Zero, Caveman and Squid hadn't made any snide remarks about my coming from Palmoilin. Caveman and Zero never spoke much, anyway, so I was waiting for Squid to say something.

But he didn't. He was looking down at the table.

"Admit it," Armpit sneered, "You think you're better than us, right? Just like all them snobs in Diamondville. All the same, them. Look down their nose at us just 'cause we don't wear pointy shoes and diamond studded underwear."

And at that moment, I was beginning to realise how much people hated Palmoilin. I thought we were appreciated.

But evidently, that wasn't the case.

I just looked at them, furiously biting on my tongue.

"Admit you think you're better than us," Zigzag taunted disparagingly.

Usually, I don't oblige to such actions. But I was so angry and blinded by fury at that moment, and anyone's better than these delinquents, anyway. Juvenile delinquents where the parents beat them up.

So I held my head up high and said, "Of course I do."

They all jeered at me, but I didn't care one bit. Not then. I thought I could learn to like and get along with them, but I was wrong. Very wrong. I realised why they were in this juvenile camp. Because they're nasty people and they deserve to be here.

And someone like me shouldn't associate with them. I stood up to leave. I began to stride out of the Wreck Room, and heard Zigzag sneer behind me.

"Yeah, that's right, princess. Leave and never return. Run away from every horrible little problem you face. That's what all the Diamondville snobs do. Never stick up to a challenge. Always hide behind their big stacks of money."

I bit my lip furiously. We "always hide behind their big stacks of money" do we? We "never stick up to a challenge" do we?

I practically ran back to my tent. I had been seriously considering asking the Warden to make me switch groups as soon as all the delinquents began to taunt me about living in Palmoilin.

But Zigzag's words made my blood seriously boil.

I wasn't going to give up. I was going to cream him and all his stupid friends. I'll show them who's boss.

You're going down, I thought angrily as I lay down on my airbed, All of you.

--

A/N: You don't how hard it was to write the fight between Andii and Zigzag. I tried making it funny, but it was too hard. Yes, Andii is being a stuck-up cow but it's part of her character. She will change - it's part of the story. Oh, it didn't really occur to me before, but there will be a bit of a romance between Andii and one of the boys. Cookies to who can guess which boy!

Oh, by the way, a lot of people seem to know why the boys got sentenced to Camp Green Lake, and a bit about their past and everything. Like how Magnet's pocket started barking and Squid's father apparently said he'd get ice cream but never came back. Can anyone tell me where you found out all this info? Was it in the movie? I only saw it once in English class... And I don't pay much attention to small things, lol. If you could tell me, please say so in one of your lovely reviews or you can email me. Thanks! (I need the information 'cause I want to get it accurate when Andii interviews them.) - msq.