Disclaimer: I don't own Holes, and never will!
Note: Hello! When you see the mention of "Mr. Flash-Happy", the credit all goes to SquiddlyGurl! I hope you don't mind me using it!
The Inspection Of CGL
Chapter Seven ll Still Treating: ZIGZAG
--
"Okay, okay... Well - "
"MUG!"
"...Uhhh, okay then. So anyway - "
"CASHEW!"
"...MY FATHER -"
"SPATULA!"
"Can you stop yelling out random things?" Zigzag yelled at me, finally losing it.
"GORILLA! GARDEN RAKE! CALENDAR!" I shouted, giggling hysterically.
Zigzag gave me a long, hard stare that seemed to penetrate my very bones. It was very creepy, like he's reading my mind or something.
But if he was reading my mind, all he'd receive is, "HI! My name is Joe, I have a wife and three kids and I work in a button factory - "
Bwahahahahahahaha.
"Will you just listen to me?" he asked in an irritated voice, "You asked, after all. For that little interview thing?"
I immediately glared at him, "What are you on about? Just answer the question already! Or rather, RESPOND to the statement." Angrily, I shoved Zigzag's form onto my notebook and put the point of my pen on the line next to PAST.
Zigzag was staring at me, speechless and bewildered.
(NOTE: BOYS DO NOT ACT LIKE HARDCORES AND TOUGHIES.)
"Well?" I snapped at him, "Hurry up!"
Aww, the poor boy looked so lost and confused that I felt sorry for him.
Hehe. I love acting as if it's the other persons' fault (when it's actually mine) and being angry. It really gets to them, and they feel so hopeless and confused.
I mean, if I was Zigzag at the moment, I'd love to thwack me in the head with a... wooden spoon. I know I'm being really annoying, but it is soo much fun! Hahahaha.
Ha.
HAHAHAHA.
"Um - err - okay," Zigzag spluttered, still looking confused. He lowered his shovel and began his life story.
"Well, you already know a bit of it. My dad was abusive and my mum was drunk all the time. Dad went off and remarried when I was nine, and mum took the change of life pretty badly. I think it was when I was ten - " Zigzag paused and looked thoughtful, "Yeah! I was ten and mum threw her first beer bottle at me. Because - err - I said something before thinking it out properly. Anyway, the bottle missed my head and after that I run away."
I stood there, gawking at him, but he continued, quite unperturbed.
"I camped out on the streets for a few nights; nasty people appear when it grows dark. I had to stay up half the night to make sure I wasn't beaten to pulp by gangsters. I remember that I became jumpy after that, always making sure no one was following me," Zigzag half-shrugged. "Social Services found out about me running away, and they didn't send me back to my mum. They sent me to this temporary foster home."
Shudder. Foster homes. I'd hate to live in one of them. You're in a strange house full of strange people who are acting strangely nice towards you.
"The couple was very nice, but soo dang strict. They had about fifty billion rules, and if you broke any of them, you got weird punishments like no dessert, or no TV. Because I was only staying there for about - what, three months? - I tried to be a good boy. I tried following all the rules, but I'd always end up breaking at least one of them a day. That totally sucked."
Whoever said punishments like no dessert or no TV are weird? All kids in Palmoilin suffer those dire consequences if they break any of the Golden Rules!
But I didn't say anything. After all, I have barely, if not any, knowledge of the outside world. I'm pretty ignorant.
And… proud of it?
"It was hard not breaking at least five of them a day, so I carried around a pocketbook with all the rules in it, and I made sure that before I did anything, I consulted my book first. Kids at school kept calling me paranoid, but I'm not risking getting another bottle chucked at my head," Zigzag said with another half shrug.
(NOTE: Some kids have been scarred for life as a glass bottle nearly came into contact with their head.)
"Oh, yes, that's quite important," I said knowledgably, nodding my head so vigorously that my neck started to hurt, "Glass bottles smashing on your head could produce difficulties in REMEMBERING things."
Staring at me oddly, Zigzag continued, "Well, this temporary foster home became my permanent one. I guess you want to hear what I did that sent me here? Well, I burnt down a classroom."
My jaw dropped open and my hand suddenly died. Well, not literally. But I had been writing down a shortened version of Zigzag's past when he dropped the bombshell and my hand just went limp.
"You did?" I said incredulously, "Wicked! I'd love to do that!"
Looking unfazed and amused, Zigzag said, "Yeah. The flames were really pretty. It was a portable classroom. I set it on fire because bad stuff always happened in it. It was like it was... cursed. If you were quiet, you could hear voices plotting to kill you. It was creepy, so I took some chemicals from the science department and splashed it all over the furniture. No one was around; it was lunch time."
"I hate chemicals and science," I found it necessary to say.
"They're mad," Zigzag said, his eyes bulging out at me, "Explosions and smoke! What more could you want? Hmph. Well anyway, I had a lighter on me that I nicked from my real mum when I was younger. Man, the place just roared up in flames. It was like, 'Take that, cursed classroom!' Too bad this foreign teacher came over at the wrong moment and started screaming in some language. Next thing I know, the police was there and I'm sent to court. Fortunately the classroom completely burned down, so they're rebuilding it. Evil spirits have a way of lurking back into half-burnt classrooms, you know."
I blinked. And blinked again. Zigzag blinked at me.
He definitely has issues.
"That's fabulous, Zigzag, really," I said as earnestly as I dared, "Can I just ask you something? Why are you so..." I had my doubts in saying the world 'paranoid', "...nervous? And jumpy? I mean, you sort of explained it when you talked about the rules your foster family had, and being scared of people beating you up, but... I still don't get it."
Zigzag Looked at me for a moment, and I was so scared that he'd suddenly strike up his shovel and start chasing me across the desert. But he gave a grim smile, "You know, I've always wondered why none of the other dudes ever asked me that. So I thought I was acting normal. But maybe they're just being nice."
AHA! I'm about to figure out his Deep Dark Secret. Yes, capitalised and... capitalised.
"Umm," he looked like he was straining his memory, "I was pretty young... five or something. My parents had some good friends. They had a son that was my age, and he was my best friend. The only best friend I ever had, actually. Well, he was kidnapped for ransom, then he was killed."
Horrified, I gave a gasp and clapped my hand over my mouth. Zigzag was talking in a voice that was hollow, as if none of this brought any emotion and feeling to him. I mean, he was five, and his best friend was kidnapped and murdered. How horrible.
I just looked at him, my heart throbbing with sympathy.
Ziggy blinked for a moment, then said, "The kidnapper turned out to be his beloved uncle. And I thought, if someone that close to you is actually capable of kidnapping you and killing you just for money, then who else could you trust?"
Things began to make sense...
"So I started watching my back and I didn't make any friends. I told a lot of lies about myself so that no one could take me away from my home and kill me. I stopped trusting people. In a way, I turned my back to the world to ensure my own safety. If I don't be careful, they will come and get me, just like they got Robbie."
I gave a hearty sniff as a pathetic tear fell down my face.
"That's - so - sad," I blubbered out as more tears welled up in my eyes.
Zigzag looked horrified, "I - uhh - I'm sorry."
"It's okay, it's okay!" I blurted out, more tears running down my cheeks.
"What's wrong with the 'lil girl?" I heard Squid ask.
"She's CRYING!" Armpit yelled, sounding surprised.
"AWW! Poor baby!"
Aww, sugar. Just what I need. A bunch of mothering juvenile delinquents. But I caught Zig's wry smile of understanding and I managed a wobbly one back. I knew he was grateful for my sympathy. Maybe it's something he needs more often.
--
When Zigzag finished his hole, I walked back with him to the compound. I was very tired because Magnet had asked me if I wanted to play tag, and I agreed (FOR SOME INSANE REASON), and it turned out to be a huge mistake because Magnet's a very fast runner. Something about jogging for fifty billion hours a day with his pet dog.
I was seriously looking forward to taking a luxurious shower, then just lounging in my tent for a little while, so I felt happier and skipped merrily towards my orange tent after bidding Zigzag farewell at the "library".
My denim backpack was hanging askew on my shoulder and felt like it weighed a million tonnes. I was agitatedly carrying my sky-blue notebook and had my pen tucked between my ear.
I pushed the orange flap of my tent open, and was greeted by someone going, "AIIYEEEAAHHH!" and throwing off all these Jackie Chan moves.
I didn't even have the energy to scream as I stood there, nonplussed, and the person continued going "HOI! YAH!" and kicked and punched the air. I watched, mildly impressed, while they delivered all these way cool moves. I was reminded of little kids in karate lessons.
Heh, they are so cute.
Finally, they finished off with a kick that stopped about an inch from my face. They held their foot there and I blinked dazedly, vaguely knowing that I had escaped being kicked in the face by an inch.
"Hi," I said lamely. It was a very odd situation.
The person lowered their foot and their upraised arms in combat mode drooped.
IT WAS A GIRL!
GASPSHOCKHORROR.
Oh, great, now I'm turning into those delinquents. Shocked at seeing a girl.
The first thing I realised about this girl was how brilliantly blue her eyes were. They were so pretty! I'd eat brussel sprouts to have eyes like those!
"Who are you?" she demanded, glaring at me.
I had no idea why she was so peeved, but I didn't want to bite her head off because she's taller and, by the looks of it, older than me. She probably also has a black or gold or whatever-the-heck-the-colour-is belt in kung fu.
As opposed to my martial arts skills that are non-existent.
I was saved in having to answer the Million Dollar Question by the Warden who poked her head in. I felt like going "SAVED!" but that would be most rude to this stranger. Seeing the Warden made me realise that she and this newcomer looked strangely alike.
They both have red hair, for starters.
"What's this racket all about?" the Warden woman said, with a slight frown. She spotted me and smiled, "Oh, hello Andii. Nadine, this is Andii. She's the girl the AG sent to inspect the camp. I hope you weren't rude..." she looked pointedly at the blue-eyed girl.
"I wasn't really, Aunt Lou," the girl said politely yet in a bored voice.
"Good," the Warden turned to me, "Andii, this is Nadine. She's my niece. My sister and her husband take this annual trip to the snow but Nadine can't stand cold weather... So every year, she stays with me for a week. I'm afraid she'll have to stay with you in your tent for tonight, as there are a few difficulties in my cabin... But it'll only be for one night."
I nodded, not really absorbing much information. Just tired. Very tired.
"Good. Well, you two girls have fun."
The Warden left, and I gazed at Nadine who gave me a wary look.
"Andii?" she asked me slowly, raising her eyebrows.
"Yes," I walked past her and over to my crates. I noticed another airbed, a blue one, a few feet away from mine, as well as some bags and foreign clothes.
"Geez, it's so hot here," I heard Nadine complain, "I hate the snow and the wind and the rain, but coming here is going too far! How my aunt can stand the heat, I don't know..."
I hid a smile as I collected some clean clothes.
"You're that inspector girl, right?" Nadine asked me, walking towards her bed and sitting on it.
"Yup," I replied, also sitting on my bed. We were facing each other.
"My aunt's obsessed with impressing you," she said matter-of-factly, waving back her red hair, "But then, her career lies in the hands of you. That's pretty cool, actually. You're holding a lot of power. Anyway, what do you do here for entertainment? Other than take boring notes and write long and pointless reports, that is. Do you hang out with any of the boys?"
HUH? She talks even more than me, and much faster. My slower intelligence was finding it hard to keep up with her.
But I got the general picture.
"Well, I'm assigned to report on the boys of D-tent..." I said slowly.
"Those delinquents?" Nadine grinned and laughed, "How hilarious."
"You call them delinquents too?" I asked, surprised. HOW DARE SHE STEAL MY WORD FOR THOSE STUPID DELINQUENTS!
Nadine gave me a surprised look, "Of course I do, that's who they are. Oh, you must be really new. Come on, I'll show you." She stood up and beckoned me as she walked out of my tent. Not really expecting anything, I followed her.
"Okay, over here," she led me towards the six grey canvas tents, and we stopped in front of A-tent. I was a bit paranoid of that tent because of Mr. Flash-Happy, so I made sure I was three feet away from the entrance.
"Those are the Assholes," Nadine said, pointing at A-tent. She moved down and stopped in front of B-tent, "Those are the Bastards."
Kind of shocked and amused, I followed her.
"Crooks, Delinquents and the Ex-Cons." C-tent, D-tent, E-tent.
"Wicked nicknames," I said before I could stop myself.
To my surprise, Nadine smiled, "Yeah, eh? But it's true. A-tent's full of assholes. They are so bloody annoying and perverted," (Oh, I agree with you there!) "And B-tent are bastards. You won't find any people more racist and sexist. C-tent is full of guys who committed petty crimes like fraud and stealing and blackmailing. Crooks, they are. D-tent... well, they aren't all delinquents. Just dolts, I guess. You know how they are, anyway. E-tent's gangster. They're dangerous and they know all the 'bad ways'. They were mostly sent here for fighting and beating the pulp out of their opponent. You don't want to mess with them. Just like Ex-Convicts."
I was surprised. Listening to Nadine, D-tent seemed like the best tent, which wasn't very comforting.
"You seem like you know your stuff," I said, staring at her.
"Well, you would too, if you've been here every year since you were seven. The boys, of course, always change. But for some reason, the new ones end up in the tent where they belong, almost. It's like a perverted freak was meant for A-tent."
Well, that was nicely phrased. (NOTE TO SELF: Remember that the boys here are criminals.)
Okay, so I'm not that dense that I've completely forgotten that, but D-tent's not that bad. In fact... I kinda like them.
Oh... this is starting to scare me.
I went to take a shower afterwards, mentally singing, "Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater, had a wife and couldn't keep her." Nadine went to the Wreck Room to hang out with "the Crooks".
I arrived at the Wreck Room with my dark brown hair neatly woven into braids (it had taken me over an hour) and a cornflower blue tank top. Nadine was sitting in the middle of a couch in the corner of the room, surrounded by boys from other tents I had never met before. She was smiling a lot and chatting animatedly.
I was a little disconcerted. Who would want to flirt with those guys?
"Hey, 'lil gal!" I heard someone yell from the pool corner.
It was X-Ray. He beckoned me over, and I quickened my pace.
"Yo, chicka!" Armpit said lazily, lounging on the sofa next to Zero.
"Hi," I greeted, plopping into an armchair opposite them.
"Want to play pool?" Squid piped up from the pool table.
I shook my head, "I dunno how to play."
"I'll teach you!"
"Oh, no you won't!" I said hastily, "I suck at it. I'm absolutely horrible. I'll probably burn down the table - " Zigzag shot me a bemused look, " - or swallow the eight ball, or something."
"No you won't, now come on," Squid said persistently. I gave in and got up from my comfy chair. I stood there and glanced at Squid, who handed me what looked like an oversized wand.
"Okay now, all you have to do is position your stick properly..." Squid bent down with his pool stick and squinted as he "positioned it exactly".
I tried copying him, but it was hard. I could hear the other D-tent boys muttering ominously about Nadine, and to tell you the truth, I am rather fond of gossiping.
Oh come on, you can't tell me you're not.
"Alright then, it's all the matter of jabbing it like - this - " Squid said absently, concentrating hard. He gave his stick a little jab and the red ball in front of him gently rolled to the left.
Beaming, he straightened up and looked expectantly at me, "You try."
"Uhh, okay..." Very unsure, I shifted my pool stick in the "right position".
"No - not like that - no - yeah, like that - leave it!" Squid said irritably, grabbing and releasing my arms every few seconds as he helped me. It's very distracting, you know, and I felt like poking him with the stick.
Finally, I got it right. Squid looked pretty exhausted as he slumped in the armchair I had originally been sitting in. I noticed Nadine was sitting with the "delinquents". It looked like a few of them didn't recognise her. Like Magnet, Caveman and Zero. Anyway, she was talking to them cheerfully with a nice smile on her face. X-Ray seemed displeased that he was stuck with talking to the redhead, but Zigzag was making some effort to be nice.
I was waiting for Squid's instructions.
"Hey, Squid!" I heard Nadine's voice somewhere above my head.
"Hey, Nad," Squid replied, "Here again? We missed you."
Nadine giggled, "Missed you, too."
"Squid?" I said helplessly. My muscles were getting sore from staying so rigidly in one position.
"Oh, yeah - give it a good-natured jab."
Here goes nothing.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I sharply pushed my stick forward and screamed at what happened next. The stick dug hard into the felt and cut it clear across; I lost control and flailed back, the stick giving a sharp flick to my right and hitting Squid right in the face.
"OW!"
"Ohmygiddyaunt!" I gasped, dropping my stick at once and clamping my hand on my mouth, "I'm so sorry!"
"Squid-boy's down!" X-Ray yelled, leaping from his seat and jumping at Squid, "You okay, man?"
Squid blinked several times. "Yeah - I think so," he said thickly, holding his hands up to his head.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I squealed, jumping up and down anxiously.
"Young miss, go to your room," X-Ray and Magnet instructed together, pointing me out of the Wreck Room.
Sulking, I murmured another "sorry" to Squid before marching out. However, on my way, I was confronted by Mr. Flash-Happy.
OHMYGIDDYAUNT CAN THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE?
Let's see. I cry over a delinquent's past. Almost get massacred by a feminine Jackie Chan who has red hair and brilliant blue eyes. Then I smack a pool stick into Squid's face.
Now I'm about to be attacked by a perverted flasher.
Please don't mind me.
I'm a (almost) fourteen-year-old with a cooties-related thing against boys, and a wild imagination.
I stared at Mr. Flash-Happy, feeling very scared. Well, at least he has his pants on.
(NOTE: Boys should have all appropriate articles of clothing on at ALL times.)
"Hey, chick," he greeted me, smiling in a cocky way. His grey-blue eyes were sparkling maliciously.
One of his A-tent mateys came over and stood beside him, "Hey, this the chick you showed all?" he asked Mr. Flash-Happy with a chortle of laughter.
"Yep."
"The Inspector Girl!"
"Yep, the one and only."
More laughter.
"Excuse me, I really need to go because I got sent to my room," I said feebly, stepping forward. But Mr. Flash-Happy grabbed my arm.
Well, enough's enough! Cecily told me never to let a stranger boy touch me, because he's likely to pull up your dress and flash your knickers to everyone.
He may have a line of flashing ancestry, BUT I DO NOT AND HE WILL NOT BLACK-MARK MY PURE ANCESTRY OF NON-FLASHABLES.
So I screamed.
Silence. It was like the whole world had stopped just for me. I felt a little honoured.
Then there was an uproar.
"OI!" Squid hollered, leaping up, "I thought I told you not to go near her again!"
"Let go of her!" Caveman said loudly to the whacky A-tenter.
"Get off her!" X-Ray yelled.
"Don't touch her," Magnet said dangerously.
More A-tenters had grouped around me, and Mr. Flash-Happy was still holding onto me.
The other tents were silent as they witnessed this wonderful sensation. Oh, the poor dears. They must lead such melancholy lives.
"Please... LET GO OF ME!" I screamed the last part in the blonde's ear, and he swore and released me at once.
"YOU SWORE IN FRONT OF HER!" Zigzag shouted, "YOU SWORE IN FRONT OF THE 'LIL GIRL!"
"Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run!" Caveman sang, glaring at me because I was not getting the clue.
Then it clicked.
"Oooh!" I said knowledgably, nodding over to show my appreciation.
I ran.
Then I stopped, because I realised that I had been running all day from Magnet while we were playing tag, and I didn't wanna run anymore because I'm going to feel very tired, and all I wanna do is sit and eat ice cream but that won't happen because there's no ice cream at Camp Green Lake, and if there is, it SUCKS.
I looked back over and to my surprise, did not see World War III breaking out between D-tent and A-tent. In fact, all thirteen boys were gathered around Squid, who looked like he was telling a story to a group of toddlers.
"Now, have we not heard the tale of the birds and the bees?" Squid swept a look of scorn over at Mr. Flash-Happy, who Hung His Head in Shame, "Well, let me tell it. Once upon a time - "
What.
An.
Idiot.
Squid stopped short because he noticed me giving him a weird look.
"Go to your room, 'lil girl! You don't hear this till your older."
I made a face at him.
"Alright, that's it, young miss, go to your room," Squid ordered, pretending to be outraged.
I made another face and marched back to my tent. I sighed and sank on my airbed, feeling my stomach grumble. I wanted dinner, and that's a first. Glancing around, I noted that my tent seemed to have shrunk, but I knew it was just because of Nadine's airbed and bags.
I fell back on my bed and felt something come into contact with my head, other than my pillow.
'Twas Clover, my stuffed cow.
"Enjoying it here?" I asked him dully, picking him up in my arms and cradling him. When I got no response, I sat up, rubbed the back of my head and reached over for my denim bag. I dragged it over and pulled out my notebook.
Rubbing off the dust, I set Clover beside me and flicked open to the page on Zigzag. I re-read his past and crime and to my relief, did not cry over it.
Reading about other people's past made me think of home. Not Palmoilin, to be exact, but mum, dad, Cecily, Claudette...
I really, really miss them. They're wonderful people. I miss Mum's lame but humorous attempts to become a teenage girl again, so she can gossip with me and Claude. I miss Dad's obsession with football and him parading around the house with a jersey on, yelling some sort of football war cry. I miss Cecily's wide, innocent brown eyes and her way of expressing things only a four-year-old could. I miss Claude's reports on who's hot and who's not and further complaints on how she think she's overweight when she's as skinny as a pole with the Japanese flag on top.
I miss grandma's cooking and her constant nagging at me to dance with her to some Beatles' song. I miss grandpa's stories about Werther's Original caramel drops. I miss my friends. All of them. I miss my class at my school - they always make me laugh. I miss -
Okay, I better stop thinking about them or I'm going to get really sad.
I shook my head clear and steadily wrote some extra notes about Camp Green Lake I had thought about during the day. Then I heard a faint rippling and some sort of scratchy noise.
I turned to Clover, "I'm not daydreaming, am I?"
Clover seemed quite content to stare at me.
With a sigh, I looked back up as the noise grew a little louder and more consistent. I froze when I saw the entrance flap protrude in slightly, as if someone on the outside was knocking on it.
DING!
That was a light bulb in my head, not a microwave.
Someone was knocking on my tent door!
Pleased that I had figured this out all by myself, I gathered Clover up in my arms for support and went up to the entrance and opened the flap, revealing the person outside.
It was Zero.
"Hi!" I said cheerfully, though I was a bit surprised. I stepped aside so that Zero could walk in.
"Hello," he said quietly, looking sheepish.
"Come in," I said, sounding oddly like my mother when she welcomes Very Annoying Guests into our house.
Zero slipped in quietly, and he looked around, awed.
"Welcome to my tent!" I said chirpily.
"It's... nice," Zero said, looking around, still wide-eyed.
I grinned. He's so small and looks so cuddly! Like a teddy bear.
I wondered why he was in here.
"Hey, has Squid finished with the "birds and the bees" story?" I asked him, only half-sarcastically.
Zero gave me a small smile as he stared at Nadine's airbed, "No. He was about to get to the good part when he spotted me and sort of had a seizure. He said that - " Zero screwed up his face and imitated Squid, " 'Lil boys shouldn't hear this either until they're older. Go to your room.' "
I laughed at his imitation. It sounded just like Squid.
I picked up my journal and began an entry, motioning for Zero to sit down.
I noticed him staring at Clover.
Beaming, I put down my fluffy pink pen and picked up Clover, holding it out to him.
"Meet Clover! He's my very best friend in the world, apart from Claudette and Mr. Pendanski."
"Mr. Pendanski's your best friend?" Zero said incredulously, though his eyes lit up as he took Clover lovingly in his arms, like Cecily did when she was reunited with Snuffles, The Fifty Billion Year Old Teddy Bear she's had since she was but a wee lass.
I grinned, "It's just an inside joke between me and - well, me."
Zero was holding Clover as if he was made out of cookie dough, which is exactly the attention my dear, stuffed cow needs. I'm sorry to say I've been neglecting him a bit.
OOOOH! I REPENT, I REPENT. PLEASE FORGIVE ME, OH MIGHTY ONE! I BOW DOWN TO YOUR FEET! I GRAVEL OR GROVEL OR WHATEVER PUMBAA ENDS UP SAYING.
Clover: ((evilly)) Yes, bow down to me. All shall love me and smother me with washing detergent! ((cackles))
Yeah. Right.
Clover will never take over the world.
"I used to have a stuffed giraffe," Zero was saying quietly, breaking into my thoughts of my innocent childhood toy becoming a terrorizing inanimate object.
"Really?" I said gently, with a small smile, "My friend, Sammy, loves giraffes. Her bedroom is a jungle, and all you can see is giraffes poking their heads out of her pillow. Pretty dandy. She wanted a real giraffe but her parents said no because their backyard wasn't big enough to support one. Anyway, where is this stuffed giraffe of yours? Is it here?"
Zero looked a little dizzy and it took him ten seconds to follow up on what I was saying. I waited patiently, because I'm used to getting this reaction from people I'm not entirely friendly with or have just met. If I had been talking to Claudette or one of my friends, they'd have just gone, "Slow down and shut up!"
"Oh... I lost Jaffy when I was younger," he blinked sadly as he absently cuddled Clover in his arms.
Awww!
"Oh, I'm sorry," I said quietly, looking at my notebook and staring at the big bold letters that said: RANDOM NOTES ON ZIGZAG.
Zero just shrugged.
"It's too bad," I continued, "Clover would've liked to meet Jaffy, I'm sure! Clover always takes a liking to nice stuffed animals whose owners are nice people."
I looked at Zero, encouraging him to smile, and he did.
Grinning like an idiot, I tugged my overnight (not my denim!) bag towards me. I pulled out my pyjamas and extra hairbrush, while looking for some gum I knew I had stashed in there. Something fell out while I was poring through my bag, and Zero picked it up.
"Who's this?" he asked.
I looked at what had dropped out and realised it was a small framed picture of Cecily.
"Oh, that's my younger sister!" I said, beaming, "I'd forgotten I brought a photo of her..."
"She looks nice," Zero commented, fingering the frame of photo.
"Well, she can be a bit of a brat but she's a wicked sister. I'm sure she'd like you. She's in this hair stage. She plays with all sorts of hair. Mum's hair, her friends' hair... heck, even dad's hair. And she'd just love your hair. She'd comb it all up and tie ribbons, then she'd use her blunt scissors to chop off some curls according to her taste. Maybe then she'll move onto cosmetics. I can just imagine you with lipstick!" I said bubbly.
Zero looked scared and he set the photo of Cecily down carefully.
"That's... nice," he said, his eyes shifting everywhere, "Do you wanna go back now? I'm sure Squid's finished his story."
"Yeah, okay," I agreed, giving up on my search for my gum. I got up and glanced at my reflection in the mirror, making sure I looked okay. Then Zero and I left my tent, where X-Ray, Armpit and Magnet were waiting outside.
"Hey, chicka," Magnet greeted me, "We were just comin' to get you."
"Really? Why?"
"That cow of the Warden's niece," X-Ray growled.
Magnet and Zero cast him a wary glance.
Magnet said with a small sigh, "I don't fancy that - that girl either."
For a moment I thought he was talking about me, but then I realised he must be talking about Nadine.
"I think she's nice," I said defensively.
"She's alright," X-Ray said fairly, his face mingled, "But I don't like her, anyway. She has a way of making you feel inferior. "
"Apparently she said some racial remark against black people last time she came," Magnet explained to me.
"This is the first time you've met her, right?" I asked Magnet, confused, "And you too?" I rounded on Zero.
They both nodded.
Armpit made an angry hissing noise, "Second time I've had the displeasure. Hopefully the last. "
X-Ray nodded vigorously, "She was here when I first came to this camp, y'know? The second time she came, Zig, Pit and Squid were with me. Magnet, Caveman and Zero weren't here yet."
"Oh, yeah, I remember," Armpit squinted in concentration, "Leader of D-tent was still Blade. And we still had those weirdo twins, Tempest and Drizzle."
Huh?
"They were the only twins thecamp ever had. Came here on the same day for the same reason. They were identical to the last freckle, 'cept Tempest had dyed his hair purple. But, man, they had different tempers. Tempest blew up when he got ticked off. Raged like a hurricane. Drizzle was so calm I thought he was stoned. If anything riled him up, he just muttered to himself and ate."
"That's nice," I said slowly. The history of D-tent is not going to improve my history grades back at school, so I found no point in listening to this, thought it is quite interesting.
"Ya know," Armpit said suddenly, frowning a little as we walked towards the Wreck Room, "They were psychos. Sometimes they argued 'cos their pillows were too hot or somethin', then they'd be like, arguin' that the food had too much water in it and that water was supposed to be used for floods an' storms. The weirdest one was when they were sayin' Blade was gay and had a thing against gay people cos like, they liked gays that were their own kind, but shouldn't he not have a thing 'gainst gays cos he is one, and also it's discrimination and Blade hated all kinds of discrimination and he'd be hypocritical."
"I wish I met them!" I blurted out, having managed to understand every single word Armpit said, "They sound so mad!"
Magnet shook his head, "Glad they were long gone when I came here."
"Not too long gone," X-Ray said, still scowling over Nadine, I presume, "You replaced them. Barfy came when Blade finished up his sentence, then the twins finished their sentence and you came. Then Zero. Then Barfy decided to try to kill himself so Caveman replaced him."
"Very nice," I said vaguely, nodding my head, "WHAT? Who tried to kill himself?"
X-Ray waved it off, "No one. Now, 'lil gal, when we get back to the Wreck Room, Squid would have finished his little story and answerin' questions from curious teenagers, so I don't want you asking anythin' 'bout that topic. You'll learn about it when you're older. Same thing applies to you, Zero."
I rolled my eyes. Oh, please. Sex Ed. is a compulsory part of the ninth grade syllabus.
"Do not even hint 'bout the subject," X-Ray continued complacently as we reached the door, "I don't wanna hear any words that might be associated with it. We don't need another explanation and lesson from the almighty Squid - " at this, all of us except Zero rolled our eyes, " - and the rest of the camp don't need to hear 'bout it. Got it?"
"Yes, mother," I said meekly, as X-Ray walked forward and pushed the door.
When we walked in, we did not find the boys doing their regular relaxation activities. Well, most of them were. A-tent and D-tent were still sitting in a circle on the floor, as if they were playing Duck, Duck, Goose (I love that game!) Squid was sitting at the head of the circle, as it seemed, and was speaking loudly.
"...so never, ever try it without contraception - "
X-Ray immediately backed out, forcing us (me, Pit, Magnet and Zero) to stumble out as well.
"Hey, what gives - ?" Armpit started angrily.
X-Ray, looking confused and sheepish, slammed the door shut, "Maybe we shouldn't go in there yet..."
Magnet and Armpit immediately grinned. Zero gave a small smile.
Me?
I tried keeping a straight face.
But I burst out laughing.
Later, the boys joined in.
So there we were, laughing at a whole lot of...
Well, nothing.
--
A/N: Yo, hi! Can't talk much - this chapter's already 6000 words long and I don't want a long A/N to make things worse! Thanks for your reviews - please check out my Zero story (My Angel, My Only) and drop a review if you please. Sorry if Pit and X-Ray speak too proper - writing fanfic for Harry Potter gave me a bit of a British vocab. Next chapter: Stop Work: MY BIRTHDAY! - BYE BYE! LUV YOU ALL! - msq.