Disclaimer: I don't own Holes, and never will!
Note: Here's a quote from the MOVIE that helped me write Armpit's past.
"Call my mum. Tell her I said I was sorry. Tell her Theodore said he was sorry."
THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO: potterchick1 and Spice of Life
Thank you so much! I love you both!
- msq. (PS. There will be chapter dedications from now on. Keep your eyes peeled, you may be next!)
The Inspection Of CGL
Chapter Ten ll Debating Against: ARMPIT
--
It all seemed to happen in the matter of about thirty-four seconds.
"Suppose? Well then, what d'ya like?" Armpit asked a bit impatiently, jamming his shovel into the dirt.
A few moments ago, I had been in a shifty mood. That was when I sat down and raged in my journal. Minutes afterward, the water truck came with Mr. Sir and Nadine, who sort of said a hello to everyone but lingered a little while longer with Squid than with the others. I saw Caveman shoot the two a reproachful look while they chatted, and confronted him about it later.
"Were you jealous of Squid?" I asked as I am quite fond of gossip, and a love triangle is so very interesting.
"Nope," he answered, quite unperturbed and a bit carelessly, "I just don't like her."
It was a fine way to burst my bubble.
Then Nadine made a beeline for me and we chatted like little school girls. We talked about the latest trends and she told me how much she loved my earrings, which were little flamingoes.
Mr. Sir finished filling our canteens and bottles, so he proceeded to yell that we weren't in the Girl Scouts, and that Nadine had better get her backside to the truck or he'd drive off without her.
Yes, and so after that, I chatted with Armpit. I asked him what his hobbies were, and he said quite a lot of things.
Break dancing.
Reading comics.
Being one of those people who can sound like rap music. (Quite scary.)
Nicking the latest releases on DVDs.
Spray-painting.
Playing the piano.
I said that I can't break dance for walnuts, comics are distasteful, people who dismantle their mouths so they can make odd noises are freaky, stealing is criminal, I suck at art, and that my mother allowed me to give up piano when I was eight because the lessons and practices were terrible and I threw tantrums about it.
So Armpit said slowly, "Well... diggin' holes is cool."
But I said, "Digging holes suck."
"Eatin', then. You gotsta love eatin'."
"Yeah, it's okay, I suppose."
"Suppose? Well then, what d'ya like?" he asked impatiently, which brings me right back to my little tale.
"Well..." I paused to look thoughtful and I reached into my pocket to pull out a half-melted Milky Way that Nadine had snuck over to me, "I like reading. And writing."
Armpit eyed the chocolate, then shook his head slightly and turned to his one-foot hole, "Reading and writing. 'Kay. What 'bout talkin'? D'ya like that?"
"Yeah, talking's good," I said dismissively, sinking down onto Squid's tea towel, "But I think that people express themselves better in print. Not so many ums and ahs."
But Armpit shook his head again, this time because he disagreed.
"No way, chicka. There's no expression when peoples write. You gotta talk to get your point forward."
"Yeah, but not everyone likes talking. You can elaborate easily and keep your temper on paper," I retaliated, not so much because I thought I was right. I just wanted to argue with him.
I mean, have you ever seen this guy in an argument?
Whoo! His rebuttals are of those I've never seen before!
So there we were, getting fired up for a debate. Well, at least we're arguing over something that's normal. Like, not over cake frosting or which direction the toilets flush in the southern hemisphere.
The topic at hand?
"The spoken word is stronger than the written word."
Armpit is affirmative.
I'm negative, only because I'm a keen writer and I see the depth of it, whereas Armpit might... not.
Uh huh.
We argued for ten minutes, occasionally stopping to take swigs of water from our bottles. The others had crowded around to watch. Caveman and Zigzag were miming eating popcorn, and X-Ray and Squid would say, "Hear hear!" whenever either of us made a point they agreed with. Magnet was being incorrigibly annoying by randomly going, "Moshi moshi!" in his thick, Spanish accent, which was likely to make me crack up laughing in the middle of a very good argument.
"No, chicka, you got it all wrong! Kids at school are more likely to learn by listening," Armpit said heatedly. We were both standing up and were yelling at each other, because it's more fun that way. We probably looked like we could tear each other apart, but I knew we were enjoying this.
I was fighting a losing battle, but it's mega chilly to watch Armpit debate. I swear, this could go on for days.
"No they're not, because kids are thick and facts usually just go through one ear, and then out through the other!" I exclaimed.
"Hear, hear!"
"Moshi moshi?" Magnet said, popping his head in.
"Shut up, Magnet!" Armpit and I snapped at once.
Magnet sighed, "Man, I know when I'm not wanted."
(UNNECESSARY NOTE: Magnet has a cute accent/voice, or whatever.)
"Hear, hear!"
(NOTE: Boys can be quite mean, when they want to.)
Armpit and I paused to take a drink of water, then we fired up again.
The debate ended when X-Ray said he couldn't take no more yelling and that we had better stop or else. This was around noon, right before the water truck came with Wonderful Lunch.
It was completely unnecessary for X-Ray to shut us up, though, because Armpit and I had reached the end of our argument anyway, and Zero (our adjudicator) was deciding who would win.
I unwrapped a thoroughly disgusting-looking sandwich, squealed an "Ew!" in a very Summer-like way from the O.C., and pried the pieces of bread apart to see what was inside.
Ew!
YUCK!
I should probably be used to the food at Camp Green Lake, but this is by far the worst sandwich I've ever seen.
Vegemite, processed cheese, lumps of undistinguishable meat and a slice of rubbery lettuce.
I refused to eat it.
I opened my bag of chips and began to munch on those, while opening my notebook and checking the form on Armpit. I had wasted an entire morning by debating with him, so I really had to get a move on.
My teletubbies ruler is so nifty.
Sorry, but I'm currently using it to rule up my page. It's not really my ruler... It used to belong to Cecily, but mother very kindly gave it to me, because Cecily never used it.
Well, let's just say she got a little upset.
She threw my Finding Nemo DVD at my head.
I threw a roll of sticky tape at her forehead.
Mum picked up a sugar cane and hollered at us to stop chucking things or else she'd wipe dessert off the nightly menu.
" 'Lil girl?"
I looked up and shielded my eyes from the sun. Squid and Armpit were standing above me. Armpit crouched down beside me, and eased himself into a sitting position.
"You eatin' that?" he asked, gesturing at my sandwich.
Of course not!
"No," I replied, taking another potato chip as Squid sat down opposite me.
"Can I have it, then?"
"No," I said absently, crunching on the chip and turning a few pages in my notebook.
"Why not?"
"No."
I saw Armpit and Squid exchange odd glances. Then with a sigh, Armpit took the sandwich and bit into it.
Very dazedly, I looked up at him and said, "That is the most festy thing I've ever seen, and you're eating it. You're insane."
Then I took another chip and popped it in my mouth.
"Whatever, we don't have fancy good food like in Diamondville," Armpit scoffed.
I ignored that evil remark and said briskly, "After you've eaten and manage not to throw up all over me, I need to ask about your past and the crime you committed."
Armpit froze and his eyes went a little poppy. With a strained look, he nodded.
Squid was eating a lemon that was part of the lunch (yuck) as he said, "You interview me after Pit."
I looked down at my trusty notebook, ignoring Zigzag and Caveman who were involved in a game that meant you had to frog leap over holes and yell, "MARSHMALLOW SANDWICHES ARE BITING ME!" whenever you fell into one, and looked at the little diagram I had drawn up. It was the order in which the boys lined up, and also the order in which I interview them in.
Squid was right.
But not quite.
"You're going to get a gold star today!" I said sarcastically, "Howeverly, you are wrong."
Squid frowned, as if I had accused him of taking my pink post-its (which he did!) and grabbed my notebook, much to my dismay.
"Give that back, you spatula, it's confidential information and you have no right to verify - ahhh!" Squid had poked me in the stomach to make me shut up, causing me to fall back.
Armpit chuckled as he finished the last bite of the Disgraceful Sandwich, "Man, Squid, give it back to the 'lil chicka."
Indignantly, Squid shoved the book into my stomach, "I am right! It goes: X, Zig, Pit – me! - Magnet, Caveman and Zero!"
"Yes, but remember," I said as patiently as I could, "I clearly stated on - " I squinted and tried to think, "On the twenty-second of July that you are most definitely going LAST."
TAKE THAT, MR. SPATULA!
Squid just rolled his eyes.
"Whatever."
What an X-Ray moment.
"MARSHMALLOW SANDWICHES ARE BITING ME!" I heard Zigzag holler as he fell into a hole.
(NOTE: Boys are capable of entertaining themselves.)
Lunch break was over. Boys were digging. Sun was hot. Sky was clear blue. Desert was dry. Armpit was sitting. Andii was asking.
"Y'well..." Armpit looked really uncomfortable and fidgeted a little. I got the idea that talking about his past was going to be a little hard on him, but I had to know. Or else Mr. AG is going to come after me in my nightmares, and eat my pudding.
I sat there patiently, humming "Inspector Gadget".
"Dude... where do I start?" Armpit murmured to himself, looking at his hands.
"The answer's not going to be there," I said gently, gesturing at his brown hands. "Why don't you start at the beginning? Who were your parents?"
"Well," Armpit took a deep breath, and I poised my pen. "Mama's name is Arena Jackson. I dunno who my father was. Can't remember too much. He and Mama got a divorce when I was 'bout six. Lukie - he's my younger brother - was only two. His real name is Luke, but Mama loves to think that Lukie an' I are still 'lil kids or somethin'."
At this, I smiled softly and as nicely as I could, to encourage him.
"So..." Armpit paused, then smiled thinly, "She calls us 'pumpkin' and 'darling' and stuff. I... used to hate how she did that. Hate how she treated us like babies. But now... I kinda miss it."
Oh, honestly. How come these guys' past have to be so SAD? I can feel my emotional barrier breaking down and any moment now, tears are going to fill my eyes.
Bringing myself together, I told myself to quit acting like a sissy and think of... PIE.
Self-assured, not-about-to-cry, nerves-of-steel PIE.
Yes... It's working.
...DON'TCRYPIE!
Steadily, I wrote down "had younger brother, Lukie."
"Anyway. Mama tried really hard to keep the house, but it wasn't easy. Then we moved into a 'partment after she and our father got a divorce. God was with us, and Mama got a better job that paid more. Our 'partment was a nice three-bedroomed one. Uh... Mama managed real well, being a single mother. This went on for a few years, till I was ten."
Armpit's face hardened and I sensed this was when things turned... well, not pretty.
"Mama started seeing this jerk - Jeremy what's-his-face - and he was... a jerk. He hated me, and I hated him. Worked out," Armpit shrugged, "But he always sucked up to Lukie and Mama. He was a rich bastard - oh, sorry. Didn't mean to cuss."
I also shrugged, " 'Tis fine. Hear it all the time."
"Time came when I went to high school, and I guess it's safe to say I mixed up with the "wrong group". Still, they were cool. We would hang out and they'd pretend to be the toughies - y'know, smokin' and drinkin'. But we never would. We were just messin' around. Mama wanted me to "sever all ties" with them, but I told her over an' over that we never did anythin' illegal. Finally, Mama gave up. She trusted me not to stuff up my life... Yeah, look where I am now."
The words were now flowing freely from his mouth, as if the story was coming together. Armpit seemed more confident, and I was finding it hard to scribble down notes.
"Me and my gang never did nothin', but people suspected us. Well… we would sneak out at night and spray-paint whatever came across our nose. It was a hobby of mine. I liked art and drawin' ever since I could hold a crayon. Mama was furious when she found out what I'd bin up to all those nights. She said that if I really like art so much, I coulda asked her to enroll me into a class instead of vandalisin' public buildings." Armpit sighed. He blinked, then stood up.
"I think I'll go dig some more," he said rather mechanically.
I nodded, though a little taken-aback, "Sure."
Ten minutes later, we were back to the story.
Must think of pie...
"Dunno what Mama saw in Jeremy, but she liked him heaps. Lukie and I hated him. Jeremy probably wanted to turn both Mama and Lukie 'gainst me, but I knew - well, thought - Mama would never do that, and Lukie would always remain loyal to his big bro," Armpit grinned. "Me and my gang got into loads of trouble 'coz sometimes we were caught vandalisin'. Mama told me no more of it, but I couldn't help myself," he shrugged. "She was angry at me because of that. I didn't exactly have a clean record. The cops hated us."
"Well, you probably gave them a hard time by graffitiing here and there and everywhere," I said absently, writing down something.
Armpit smiled wanly, "Maybe."
"So... what happened next?" I asked, taking a drink from my bottle.
Armpit shrugged, "Dunno... uhh... Oh. Right. That was my life, basically."
"Okay, what about the crime you committed?"
"That ain't no crime I committed," Armpit said, looking angry, "My gang and I spray-painted Jeremy's big, fat mansion. Was pretty wicked. We did it coz he went too far. He said some pretty nasty crap to me right in front of Mama, and made it look like it was all some kinda joke. Well, Jeremy woke up and saw us. So we ran."
I widened my eyes.
"I kinda tripped and fell onto something. Turned out to be his pet Chihuahua. Now, I'm not the lightest person and Chihuahuas are pretty small. Kinda got crushed. And died."
Armpit's face indicated that he rather liked the fact that Jeremy's dog had died.
"Ew. That's seedy!" I exclaimed.
"I know. Jeremy almost hit me. Mama was furious. Jeremy pressed charges. He told Mama he was sorry, but it wasn't compensation he was after. He wanted to 'discipline' me or some crap," Armpit looked livid with anger. "Mama turned all pale when he said that. I thought she was going to kick him out and say that no son of hers was gonna go to jail just for crushing a moron's dog. But she just said she'd think about it."
Armpit's face hardened and I knitted my eyebrows in concern.
"I don't think I'll ever forgive Mama for that."
I bit my lip.
"I was so angry at her that I didn't speak to her for a week. She got snappy at me. Lukie told her that she should ditch Jeremy because he was a cow. Mama was so stressed that she screamed at Lukie and said that he had no control over her life and she could do whatever she wanted. Lukie cried that night. I looked after him and made him feel better," Armpit sighed. "Jeremy just came to mess up our lives."
"What a turd," I said without thinking.
Armpit chuckled, "Better be glad Squid wasn't around to hear you say that."
Yeah, he's right there.
"You naughty, 'lil girl. You swore!"
Eeek.
"Mama gave in. She and Jeremy went to some judge and appealed to him. He agreed and sentenced me to eighteen months, Camp Green Lake. Mama told us one night that she was really sorry, but this was for my own good. Lukie was angry that I had to leave, but not as angry as me. I practically threw my plate across the room at dinner. Mama was so stressed. On one hand, she didn't want to lose me. On the other, she didn't want to lose "Mr. Great Guy", Jeremy.
"I can't believe she chose him over me."
Oh my goodness.
Think pie, Andii, think pie!
I screwed up my eyes, hoping that the tears would go away.
Armpit gave a sort of sniff, much to my alarm. If he cries, then I stand no chance.
No chance at all. Not even with my pie.
"The night 'fore I was s'posed to leave, I took off without sayin' goodbye. Lukie had chucked a hundred-and-one tantrums, but that didn't change Mama's decision. Stupid jerk Jeremy must be happy," Armpit murmured, "I left a letter sayin' goodbye to Lukie, but I didn't so much mention the word "mama" once. I went to my best bud, Julian's, place. Stayed there for the night; his parents were cool about it. In fact, they drove me to the bus stop the next morning. Then I came here."
Armpit drew a long breath of relief, and took a very long drink from his canteen.
I pursed my lips and nodded.
Sad lives.
Sad, sad, sad lives.
Then he spoke again, startling me.
"I guess I expected Mama to write to me," he muttered. "Hopin' it, too. Want her to 'pologise. But I don't think she ever forgave me for just leavin' without sayin' goodbye. Just like I haven't forgiven her for choosin' Jeremy over me."
"You both need to apologise," I said, offering my probably unwanted opinion.
Armpit nodded droopily, "I know we do."
I gave him a half-smile, then looked back down at my notebook.
He spoke again, very softly.
"But I'm not the one who's sayin' sorry first."
--
I felt really happy that night, at dinner, as I glanced over at my notebook. I had to admit, I had done a pretty good job on interviewing these boys, although I have do much more than just that.
But I'm not WonderGirl, so I won't try.
Dinner was half-decent, as Squid keeps joking. Chicken and vegetable pies (roasted in the sun) with stir-fry vegetables.
The pies were tasty, but the vegetables were disgraceful.
I had finished eating the pie, but refused to touch the vegetables. You never know.
That broccoli looks like it might just suddenly bare its teeth and bite me.
"Yo, 'lil girl, you gotta eat your greens," Squid said between mouthfuls. "To grow and be healthy."
"Yeah, right," I said, pulling a distasteful face, "Those vegetables look festy. I'm not eating them."
"You have to," Squid said in an ordering voice.
"Says who?"
"Me."
"Like that counts."
" 'Lil girl, just eat your vegetables!" Squid yelled.
"No! You're not my mother!" I retaliated.
"EAT YOUR VEGETABLES!"
"NEVER!"
"Will you two can it?" X-Ray said loudly, glaring us both down.
"You're not brother and sister," Zigzag muttered. "No need to fight in that way."
"Moshi, moshi," Magnet murmured into his pie. It's became his latest remark. We don't know whether it means "hello" (we know it means that in Japanese, but what about in Magnet-language?) or "okay" or "I agree". Or all three of them.
I sat in a huffy silence with Squid shooting me murderous looks that plainly said, "Eat your vegetables or I will kill you slowly and painfully in your sleep." Actually, I don't think he was doing the look right. It either said what I just mentioned before, but it could also have said, "I like to wear frilly pink dressing gowns with puppies dancing across it."
Ya never know.
--
"...deep down you know it's best for yourself but you, hate the thought of her bein' with someone else, but you know that it's over..."
Oh.
Dear.
Jelly.
Believe me, there's nothing quite so bad as being woken up by a white kid trying to sing a black kid's song.
(Not supposed to be racist, or anything.)
Especially if that kid is someone like Squid.
"Rise and shine, sleepy chick," came his cheerful voice. "Or else I'll keep singing!"
I gave a loud moan and turned on my side.
"Okay... you asked for it! LET IT BURN, LET IT BURN, LET IT BURN - "
"OKAY, OKAY! I'M UP!" I screamed, getting up from my airbed.
And so, another day commenced.
Feeling mighty fine
Feeling mighty fine at this time, yes I am
Feeling mighty fine
Feeling mighty fine at this time, yes indeed.
"Chicka, you awake?" Armpit poked me in the shoulder.
"Wha?" I opened my eyes and yawned. We were in the desert. "Yeah. Sure. So, where was I up to?"
"You asked me what I think of the food."
"Oh, yeah."
"It's okay."
Typical Armpit. Food at CGL: OKAY?
Never in my life.
Walk down any street
Pass the people you meet
What is it about this place that keeps you on your feet.
"Hey, chicka?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you not tell anyone about my... past?"
"Sure."
"Thanks. It's just... Magnet will tear me apart if he found out I crushed a dog."
I chuckled.
Feeling mighty fine
Feeling mighty fine at this time, yes I am
Feeling mighty fine
Feeling mighty fine at this time, yes indeed.
"SPIDER!" Squid roared at lunch, dangling in his hand a plastic bag with a huge tarantula.
Zero and I shrieked and hid down in a hole.
"I thought you overcame them!" I hissed.
Zero shook his head, trembling, "That was just a fluke!"
Night is coming down
Closer to the ground
Gonna have a little fun while I'm still around.
"Hey, I snagged this from Mr. Sir's truck," Magnet announced, holding up a thick rope."Who wants to play tug-o-war?"
The rest of us groaned.
Feeling mighty fine
Feeling mighty fine at this time, yes I am
Feeling mighty fine
Feeling mighty fine at this time, yes indeed.
"Finished interviewin' me?" Armpit asked when he had almost finished his hole.
I nodded, "Yup. Magnet's next."
"He stole a dog."
"And got caught?"
"Yeah," Armpit said, frowning a little. "His pocket started barking."
It was such a stupid statement I burst into laughter and didn't stop until Squid dumped dirt over my head.
I spent five minutes screaming at him.
Don't believe the words they say to you they are so absurd
Don't believe a word they say about me because I'm feeling mighty fine.
"Zig..." X-Ray said slowly, watching Zigzag cross the Wreck Room, "You're about to - "
CRASH.
" - walk into a wall," X-Ray finished dully.
"BRAIN DAMAGE!" Zigzag yelped, as a chuckling Magnet and Squid helped him up. "ALIENS PUT THAT WALL THERE. IT WASN'T THERE A SECOND AGO, I SWEAR."
"We believe you, dear," Magnet said, patting his arm.
"Noooo!" I moaned as Zigzag fell onto the floor, spluttering.
When will Zigzag get over the word "dear"?
Then again, when will I ever stop entertaining such sarcastic comments in my head?
Think I gotta go
Think I'm gonna die
Oh my God something's wrong
The end is coming near
because I'm -
After dinner, I almost fell asleep on the disgusting couch in the Wreck Room, until Zero poked me. I sleepily looked around. Magnet was teaching Caveman Spanish, and Zero was sitting between them, listening. Armpit, Squid and X-Ray were gambling their shower tokens with some boys from C-tent, making sure that Mr. Pendanski or any other counselor didn't know what they were doing. Zigzag was watching the busted TV, near Magnet and Caveman and Zero.
"I- I think I'll g - go to b - bed," I said, stifling a yawn.
"Night, chicka."
"Buh bye, 'lil gal."
"Sleep tight."
"Don't let the bed bugs bite."
"Moshi, moshi."
"Don't swallow your pillow."
I smiled to myself when (I was in my tent) my head hit the pillow, and I was asleep.
(...Note:... Camp... isn't... quite so... bad... after... all.)
Feeling mighty fine
feeling mighty fine at this time, yes I am
Feeling mighty fine
Feeling mighty fine at this time, yes I am, yes I am.
--
A/N: Quick A/N. You guys reviewed so much, I could hunt you down and send a big, sloppy kiss to your doorstep. But no, a virtual hug and chapter dedications will have to do. Don't worry, no one has flamed this story... yet. Oh, and the song in the last part of the chapter was just an easy way for me to round up the third day of interviewing Armpit. (I hope his past turned out okay.) The song is "Mighty Fine Blues" by Eel, and it's played in the Holes movie when Stanley writes a letter to his Mum.
What Squid is singing is "Burn" by Usher. Lol, yes I'm an Aussie. Well, an Asian, but an Aussie at heart. Lol, yes and Julz, Krispy Kreme donuts DO sound festy. Ew.
If I've left anything else out, go say so in a review or via email, or just slap me. It all works. xD
Farewell, God bless! - msq.