Disclaimer: I don't own Holes, and never will!
The Inspection Of CGL
Chapter Fifteen ll Attack Of The FEELINGS
--
SQUID'S POV.
"Zero!" I yelled, running towards our tent, "ZERO!"
For the entire day I had tried convincing Zero I wasn't gay. And it was a lot harder than you would've thought, too, because the 'lil girl is interviewing him today and it's really hard to tell a dude that you don't go for other dudes when a girl is standing right there.
"Yeah, Squid?" he asked me with a smile.
Oh yeah, and all day, he's been smiling at me. It's like he's (shudder) flirting. But I know he's not; he's a perfectly straight little boy with cute little curls... Oh my stars. I better stop thinking about his hair.
It's enough to make anyone question their sexuality.
"I - errr," the words were not coming out properly, "I just wanted to say, Zero, that - that..."
Question mark was the expression on his face.
"I'MNOTGAY!" I finally burst out.
"Oh, I knew that," Zero said, frowning, "Is that it?"
HUH?
"But," I spluttered, "You kept saying there was nothing to be ashamed of!"
"Yeah, that was because I liked seeing the expression on your face when I said that," Zero smiled reminiscently, "It was funny. Andii took a few photos of it when you weren't looking."
My jaw dropped open, "When I wasn't looking? Whenever you said, 'there's nothing to be ashamed of', I did nothing but look!"
Zero shrugged, "Maybe you didn't notice the 'click' noise it made."
IS HE CALLING ME UNOBSERVANT?
Staring at him hard and long, he finally gave up and shrugged, before walking off to take a shower.
Frowning, I chewed on my lip and looked around at the canvas tent.
"Squid?"
"Yeah?" I asked, jolting wide awake as X-Ray entered the tent.
"Whatcha doin' here, standing like a fool?" he asked, dumping his dirty clothes on his cot.
"Err... I'm counting the beds in here," I replied, "Say, did you like the potato mash served last night?"
X-Ray shuddered just before he left the tent, "Don't even get me started."
My heart sank.
Okay, so the 'lil girl and I suck at cooking.
With a sigh, I took off my hat, undid my do-rag and tossed them aside, before getting my towel, my newly cleaned jumpsuit and walking to the shower stalls.
--
I had just gotten my boots back on when Zero came flying up to me.
Despite what he had said earlier, I quickly said, "Dude, I'm not interested."
Zero rolled his eyes and said, "It's not that! I have a good idea, that's all."
"What is it?" I asked, walking back to our tent.
"Well, it's not my idea," he explained slowly, "You know the night when - uhhh - we all had that karaoke? After we ate that peaches and strawberry salad you and Andii made?"
"Oh, you mean the night we all got drunk," I muttered darkly. Seriously, I think the peaches had alcohol in them.
Zero shifted uncomfortably, "...Yeah. Anyway, Armpit and Magnet were talkin' bout this idea -"
"They were five peaches drunk!" I exclaimed, "Any idea of theirs when they're sober can't be taken too seriously, anyway."
"They-wanted-to-lock-Andii-in-a-tent-with-that-C-tent-guy," he blurted out.
No other man as brilliant as me with as amazing hearing as mine could've possibly understood what on earth he had said. But of course, I am me, so I understood every word that had flown out of his mouth.
"Tulips with the deer in a tent are the shock of the century?" I repeated knowledgably.
"No!"
Thus he repeated.
Oops, maybe I don't have the best hearing after all.
"LOCK HER IN THE TENT WITH THAT PERV?" I roared, dropping my stuff.
"Yeah," Zero frowned, "What's wrong with it? You know how badly scared she'll get? "
"Exactly!" I exclaimed, not knowing why I felt so... protective. "We don't wanna scare her, now do we?"
"Of course we do! You of all people should want to give her a real good scare. She spends so much of her time pranking us, we should really get her back."
"Uh..."
"So, are you in?" asked Zero.
"In what?" I asked, playing for time.
Zero just gave me one of his creepy unblinking stares. Wow, he could be X-Ray's successor.
"Okay, okay," I sighed, gathering my stuff up again, "Whatever, man..."
"Cool, meet you outside of C-tent in a few seconds, then."
I dropped my stuff again.
"IN A FEW SECONDS?" I shouted to his retreating figure, "You mean now?"
I got no reply and groaned as I fell on my cot and put my head in my hands.
Why, why, why?
WHY?
Why do we have to lock the 'lil girl in a tent with that dude? The dude she reckons has nice eyes... Whatever. His eyes are creepy, not nice. What does she see in that ponce? What has he got that I don't?
Okay, we're straying off the subject a bit.
The fact remains, however, that we're going to lock her in a tent. I mean, it's not like the tents have locks or anything, but I understood what Zero was trying to say. Honestly, anything could happen.
What if he takes her lollipop?
What if he plays with her hair?
WHAT IF HE CARRIES HER BACK TO HER TENT WHICH ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO DO?
...I am calm.
I felt like punching something.
I am calm...
...and...
My eyes widened and I fell back with a groan.
...and I am jealous.
--
Shoot-shoot-shoot-shoot.
I am doomed.
I am completely doomed.
I'm jealous of that C-tent dude who's going to be locked in with the 'lil girl who thinks he has nice eyes because they're not ordinary brown like mine.
BAH HUMBUG!
I am doomed and there's no doubt about it.
...WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
"Hey 'lil gal," X-Ray greeted as SHE approached us.
"Yo chicka.
D-tent chimed in their assorted greetings. Everyone but me. I stood there with my arms firmly crossed and glared at C-tent, which we were standing right in front of.
"Hey guys, what are you doing out here?" the 'lil girl asked suspiciously, looking ready to strike out a karate pose and punch us if we tried anything silly. In any case, I really hope she does, because I rather like the idea of Magnet and Armpit having black eyes.
Why the heck did they get so drunk that they suggested such a stupid idea?
This, of course, is ALL THEIR FAULT!
They just corrupted the rest of D-tent to follow on.
Me, of course, with the only BRAINS, could see the foolishness behind all this tosh.
Or maybe it's just 'cause you're jealous.
Oh, shut up.
Real smooth. You're talking to yourself.
GO ROT AND DIEEEE!
I tuned out of my receptive thinking to see them push the 'lil girl into the tent and Zig let out a big, "HA, YOU CAN'T COME OUT NOW!"
What does receptive mean?
Okay, okay, I'll get back to the story. Meanie.
"LET ME OUTTA HERE!" the 'lil girl screamed.
Hehe, one point to Squid. She doesn't wanna stay.
Yay.
Maybe I could sneak her out and we could like, ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.
Oh gee, I don't like her or anything, do I?
DUDE, (SLAP), WHY ELSE WOULD YOU BE JEALOUS?
Well, technically, you never told me who I'm jealous of. I mean, I could be jealous of that guy with-the-nice-eyes-who-doesn't-have-nice-eyes, which you imply, but I could also be jealous of Andii.
HA, ANOTHER POINT TO SQUID!
If you were jealous of her, it's because you wanna be locked in a tent with the guy with-the-nice-eyes-who-doesn't-have-nice-eyes, which makes you GAY.
I am not gay, who have you been talking to?
Not this again…
"Squid, you take the back flap. Make sure she doesn't crawl out. You know how she is," X-Ray instructed.
Yeah, I do know how she is, you – you – you imbecile.
I put on a smile, nodded, and walked over to the back flap and guarded there.
I need mental help.
Zigzag came over, "Hey, man. X told me to help you guard here. You know what? This plan stinks."
"Exactly!" I exclaimed, relieved to find some more brains in D-tent. "It's outrageous."
"Everyone knows you're supposed to be in there instead of Charmer," Zig continued, unperturbed.
"Exactly! What?" I said, completely lost.
Ohmygoodies, don't tell me Zig knows...
Zigzag stared at me, "C'mon, man. This plan isn't to set the 'lil girl and Charmer up."
"Well, it's a dumb one if it was," I muttered.
Zig continued to stare. Then he picked up a stone and threw it at me.
"OW! What was that for?" I yelled.
"Dude, LOOK AT IT IN THE FACE!" Zig yelled back.
Great Scott, he is insane. Even more than I thought he was.
"Look at the stone in the face?" I repeated timidly.
"No, the situation," he said quietly as if I was an overemotional two-year-old. "You're jealous. You like her."
Oh, shoot.
Zig is insightful, why WHY WHY??
"I - I - don't - far out, man!" I shouted, irritated. "I dunno what's going on anymore! All of a sudden I'm jealous of Campter or whatever his name is, and then everyone's pointing out I like the 'lil girl! It's... CONFUSING!"
"Who else told you?"
"My brain."
"...Right."
"So... everyone knows?" I muttered bitterly. Oooh, I'm cursed. Even worse than I would be if I had malaria or that Fairy Tale Land disease.
Sigh.
Zig nodded, "Yep. 'Cept the 'lil girl and Charmer himself."
"CRAP!" I yelled, jumping up, "Then they will make a move 'cause they're oblivious and - ahh, I don't care." I slumped back and closed my eyes, my head aching.
"Oh come on, man," Zigzag rolled his eyes, "She's a weird girl, but she's not stupid."
"And what is that supposed to mean?"
"IT MEANS... she fancies you."
"What?" I said, my eyes snapping open, "What?"
Zig shrugged, "I can read people like magazines. Sparks are flying! But... I don't think even she knows."
I blinked.
And blinked again.
"Who is so daft that they don't even know that they like someone?" I asked pointedly.
Zig stared at me.
"Oh, don't answer that," I muttered, then I sighed, "What does she see in him, anyway? What has he got that I don't?"
SHUT UP! SHUT UP NOW! screamed my insides.
Zig opened his mouth to talk, but I continued my rant.
"It's like I'm a... I'm a plain cinnamon doughnut and he's like... a Krispy Kreme! No... he can't be that good, even in imagination... Like an iced doughnut. TCH!" I growled.
"You," Zigzag finally said after a minute's silence, "Are bloody insane."
Well.
At least Andii and I have something in common.
--
Three points to Squid.
Stupid-plan-of-Magnet-and-Armpit's?
FAILED.
HAHAHAHA.
I think she's scared of that dude now. I dunno what happened. The first thing I did when she got out was ask her and she looked at me blankly and said, "Interesting stuff."
I was a bit wary of what that could mean, but later she told me it was a complete and utter disaster and that she doesn't want to get to know any of the other guys from the other tents.
That could only mean GOOD for me, right?
Thought so.
'Tis the next morning. BECAUSE I requested, I'm sitting beside the 'lil girl at the breakfast table. I kept bugging her for more details of yesterday afternoon, but she just sighs and tells me to mind my own business.
She's mighty stubborn.
"Squid, stop it!" she finally burst out, "You're annoying me."
"Good," I said leisurely. "And then what happened?"
She picked up her spoon and flicked some cereal at my face.
I took that as a token to SHUTUP so I wiped the cereal off my face, stuck my tongue out at her and began to eat my wonderful, golden, crusty cereal.
WHY IN MERLIN'S NAME IS THE CEREAL GOLDEN?
I didn't think the camp could afford golden cereal.
Come to think of it, they should use the money they spend on golden cereal to buy sharp sharp knives! Yes, sharp sharp knives. Not blunt sharp knives. And not blunt peelers either. And maybe they could hire REAL people to make real potato mash instead of the rubbish Andii and I made yesterday.
Bleurgh.
Rant is over.
D-tent keep giving me these meaningful glances. Actually, I'm not sure about X-Ray. I don't look in his direction. What if a hurl of Premature-Heart-Attack-Glare comes flying at me?
Dude, I don't wanna die.
When it was time to dig, I grabbed a random shovel and talked to Magnet about Jack and the Beanstalk as we walked towards our new (and improved!) digging site.
"Hey, Squid?"
I turned around and saw Andii. She was wearing a white and brown striped jersey that was yards too big for her. She was also in jeans again, even in this weather, and her long brown hair was tied up in a ponytail. Hanging loosely from her shoulder was her denim bag.
What the...? I am being way too observant.
Note to self: stop noticing things about the girl you supposedly "fancy".
I don't have much tolerance for extra observant people. They're so annoying. They point out all this useless stuff and in the end you just feel like hitting them with a very large, very fluffy, cream pie.
"Can I use your tea towel?" she asked me.
"Why do you call it a tea towel?" I asked her exasperatedly, putting my shovel down and taking off my baseball cap.
"What else could it be?" she asked pointedly.
"It's called a do-rag, 'lil girl."
Andii let out a snort of laughter, "Do-rag. What a word."
I shot her a LOOK and she just shrugged. I finished undoing the "tea towel" (I really wonder why I even bother putting it on in the morning) and handed it over to her.
She gave me a smile which made me wanna go "SQUEE!" and took it with a thanks.
I watched her walk over to Zero who had already started on his hole. Magnet came up to me, looking to where my eyes were glued.
"One of a kind, isn't she?" he murmured, watching as the 'lil girl took out her notebook and began to question Zero.
"Yep," I murmured back, not exactly knowing why I was murmuring.
"She has a nice visor."
"Yep."
"And I like her jersey."
"Yep."
"You like her?"
"Yep."
Magnet shot me a look which I didn't notice.
'Cos I was too busy staring at THE GIRL.
Call it corny or cliched.
But I just stared at her for a long time and wondered why I had never seen her the way I was seeing her now.
Quick, someone hand me a cream pie!
--
A/N: BORINGNESS! (throws cream pie at chapter) Bwahahahaha. Hey everyone. 'Tis back to school to me. YAWN. I hate it. GRRRR. Work, work, work. Oh yes, must be joyous for teachers to pile as much work on us as possible. DIEEE! I have to do this empathy task and study for a science quiz. Along with other stuff I can't bear to remember. Also, we got our music tests back today and I'm SO angry at my friend who got 29/30 because she said she got the worst mark possible and - (throws cream pie at her) BWAHAHA, take that! xD Alright, moment of sanity gone. My internet is not working/trying to be as slow as possible so who knows when I'll be able to post this up. It's Thursday arvo today, AND MY MSN WON'T SIGN IN! (throws cream pie at MSN) I AM ANGRY. BWAHAHAHA. Tomorrow we have French third period and I can't wait for that. :) I hate French and all, but I'm looking forward to it. Oh jelly. (throws cream pie at self) EWWW, CREAM! Alright, I have rambled too much. Happy birthday, fool:) - lurrrve from msq.
PS. Next chapter will be back to Andii's POV, where we will see what exactly happened in the "tent adventure". :) But please bear with me 'coz I've kinda forgotten how to write her.
PPS. If you have exams and stuff, don't stress out. Take it easy, okay? I have a few friends undergoing their HSC and they're like, freaking out. Lol. THEY MAKE ME SCARED!
PPPS. Thank you SO much for reviewing. :) I love you all! xoxo