Hiei's Hilariously Violent Escapades
(Author notes) My first fan fic… ever. I decided to write this because I woke up one morning and said "I want to write a fan fiction about Hiei." So I did. This is a collection of everyday instances in the life of our favorite dragon wielding demon, and how he would handle them without that pesky killing massive amounts of innocents to solve your problems is wrong attitude that plagues the yu yu yuniverse. Read or die. They both give the same results when you think about it.
"Talking" 'thinking' all thoughts belong to Hiei unless otherwise noted (My side notes)
By the way, I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, Hiei, or Wal-Mart. I will also not try to be funny or original by saying something like If I did Hiei would shoot 50 bagillion dragons and Kurama would be God and they would be my slaves. Those feeble attempts at wit annoy me. Well I guess I can't be too hard on them. I mean I might want to try to spice things up a bit if I have to connstantly be reminded that I don't own the thing I spend all my free time writing about.
Hiei Gets Woken Up
(Violence ensues)
It was a cold December morning in the park that Hiei called home. It's not like he couldn't find a place to stay, I mean, Kurama had room, but sleeping in a tree is much more badass than sleeping in pansy human bed (although they are rather comfortable) and was, therefore the logical choice for him. "Hiei! Hiei!" an annoyingly cheery feminine voice brought him out of his sleep. 'Who's the fool with a death wish that woke me up?' "Well good morning sleepy head!" It was Botan, the overly cheery ferry girl with an unexplainable British accent. "Are you awake yet? Don't tell me you were out all night prowling about. Ya know… EEP!" Suddenly a katana was pointed to her throat. "Would you like me to kill you now or would you rather tell me the reason you decided to die today?" He looked at her with a cold "I'm going to kill you" scowl. (kind of like he always looks but a little more pissed off, ya know, if that's possible)"The reason I want to die so early I mean the reason I woke you up to die I mean…."Out it woman!" "EEK" Botan let out another girly shriek and froze. 'Can deities die? If I kill her will she come back to life? I wonder who ferries the ferry girls' spirit. Damn it! Is she dead?' "Idiot, are you alive?" "…" "Breath woman!" Botan takes a huge breath, "Theothersaremeetingat12:30atGenkie'stempletotalkaboutanewmissionIdon'twannadie! Please?" She whimpered that last part. "Hn" Hiei lifts his sword. Botan looks down at his shoes. Thoughts raced through the kimono clad girls head, 'Dieing because I gave a message. How humiliating. Wait, his boots, they're kind of worn out.' "You need new shoes Hiei." Hiei was thrown of by this last statement. 'She's going to die and she tells me I need new shoes?' He looked down and to his surprise, he did. "It seems I have something more important to do than spend my time with you." Hiei did his cool telaporty thing down off the tree. "Don't think I've finished with you woman." He used his trademark threatening voice. (Ya know the one that makes babies stop crying and dogs flee in terror) He only had an hour so his normal badass ways to get boots was out of the question, he would have to go somewhere that he knew would have the kind of boots he needed. Somewhere with a lot of foreigners so he wouldn't draw attention. Somewhere he could take something from that nobody would even care about. Somewhere on the way to the temple. He had to go to the one place more evil than the hell he grew up in. Hiei had to go…to Wal-Mart.