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The Inspection Of CGL
Chapter Twenty Five ll To Spontaneous And Strange Gatherings
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SQUID'S POV.
Have you ever had the feeling that you experience after your head's been down a toilet bowl for the fifteen minutes, and you finally come up for air, and it's a huge relief to gasp those fruitful breaths of air, because you almost drowned, and then your head's buzzing, and water's leaking out of your nose and ears, and your hair's sopping wet, and you feel as though you might burst?
...No?
Surprise, surprise. Neither have I.
Well, not first-hand experience, anyway. But I've felt like that for a week now. (No, I haven't been trying to drown myself in the showers.) I feel as though I've been suffocated, that I've been cut off from my lifeline, and that an explosion is imminent at any moment.
No wonder the other guys are avoiding me. I'm a bloody time bomb.
I've even given up the art of brushing my chocolate-brown hair in the morning. What's the point of looking nice for no one, apart from Mum, and possibly Mr. Sir when my vision's blurry?
There is none, the answer is.
And I swear, this week has been dragging on in a most abnormally dragging fashion. It's horrid. It's never going to be over. And what makes it worse is that there are no weekends at Camp Green Lake, meaning a week turns into a month, and then a month meshes into a couple of months, and those couple of months mould together into a year, and so on and so forth until you DIE.
Those weekends would show a point in which the weeks are broken up, so I can complain about the horrible week I've been having, but no, I can't, because I'd be complaining about the past month, and then the past few months, and the past year, even though I haven't even been here for that long.
The short version? I can't complain.
Not that I would, anyway. I haven't managed to speak a proper conversation with the other guys for a bloody year now (meaning week - if you still don't understand, refer back to stanza 9 and 10) and they haven't said much themselves.
The boys of D-tent-cabin take longer to dig their holes, don't laugh and talk as much, and go to sleep early because they miss her so much. I dig even more slowly so that I'm the last one to finish, won't even crack a smile, and sometimes skip dinner to be alone in my cot because I so don't care that she's gone.
Right.
Life bloody sucks.
Did you know that?
Day freaking (insert number) since Her Majesty's departure.
"If you aren't gonna eat that tortilla, Zero, you might as well give it to me," Armpit was saying to a visibly disheartened Zero on the opposite side of our breakfast bench.
Zero shot him a look, "I am gonna eat it. I was saying grace."
"I heard nothing."
"In my head."
"Ooooh."
X-Ray rolled his eyes, then said quickly, "Well you better eat it, then. I'm hungry. I might just take that."
Zero moved so quickly it was over in the blink of an eye. One second the tortilla was sitting on his plate, the next, it was whipped out of sight and his mouth was full, his cheeks bulging.
The guys all stared at him in wonder.
"Are you sure you're not a frog, Zee?" Magnet asked in awe.
Zigzag was now edging away from Zero slightly, as if afraid he might eat him next. That, or he was contagious.
They all burst out in laughter, something that had only happened once or twice since - you know. Everyone except me, that is. They had tried to cheer me up, but it's beyond their bickering and clowning around this time.
This time, it's personal.
Sorry, I've always wanted to say that.
Anywho.
Caveman noticed that I still wasn't laughing with them, so he stopped and put a hand on my shoulder, saying, "Quick, you might wanna run before Zig suspects you of wiring with The Alien."
They all laughed again, even Zigzag, and I tried to arrange my face so that it looked slightly amused.
Heh.
Heh.
...Heh.
Who am I kidding. This is never gonna work.
They stopped again, glancing at each other with raised eyebrows.
"Seriously, man," X-Ray said quietly, "Lighten up."
"I'm light," I said defensively, prodding at my tortilla. It reminded me of when she chucked a fit because the cooks had switched the breakfast menu from cereal to tortillas. I gripped harder on my fork, forcing myself to shut her out.
Don't think about her... don't think about her...
Whatever,
Do you know fantastically hard it is to do that?
I am so sad.
I think I might just go and drown myself in a toilet bowl now.
Goodbye.
I said goodbye.
What are you still doing here?
GOODBYE, DAMMIT!
IT MEANS GETOUTTAMYSIGHTYAFUGLYMAGPIE.
Oh alright.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that.
I dropped my fork and sighed heavily, causing the others to start.
"Oi, Squid," Pit said sympathetically, glancing around the table, "I know this sounds harsh, but... I think you need to move on."
My head shot up as quickly as though jerked by an invisible wire. I was shocked at first, but that was replaced quickly with burning anger. I glared at him and he cowered a little.
X-Ray seemed to think this was his territory, "He's right, you know. The 'lil gal was chilly, but she's gone now, and by the looks of it, ain't coming back. Ever."
"You've been moping for a week," Caveman continued reasonably, as if this was all planned, "And that's okay, seriously. But it's getting old now. You can't keep at this forever."
"So what?" I finally said; I was so angry that I was shaking and I struggled to talk calmly, "You're just gonna forget about her? You're gonna forget everything she's done for and taught us? If it weren't for her, d'you really think we'd been as close as we are now?"
"Squid, we know she did a lot for us, but - " Magnet started, but I interrupted him.
"You're just gonna erase her like she was never here, like she never existed, like she was never your friend and you didn't give a flying duck about her?"
They were all looking at me seriously, even sadly, as they considered what I said.
"She made us care about her, because she wasn't like anyone we'd ever met before," my throat was very strained and I was afraid I was about to cry, "And she cared about us, and she brought us together in case you dimwits never realised. She isn't like the people we left behind when we came here - like my mum who doesn't give a crap about me, or those bullies at your school, Caveman - we can't just forget about her like them! She's different! She's worth remembering."
For some reason, I couldn't face them anymore. I felt angry, ashamed and miserable. With that, I stood up and stormed out of the Mess Hall, leaving the rest of D-tent to dwell upon my brilliance.
---
For the rest of the day, I didn't talk to them. I dug my own hole, they dug theirs. I ate my lunch by myself, they ate theirs together by a huge dirt pile, putting their heads together and muttering. Talking about me, no doubt. That only made me angrier.
While digging with much more vim than necessary, I felt a tiny bit of regret. And a bit sad, too, cos none of the guys were bothering to come and talk to me. I was even half hoping for an apology, although I knew that was outta the question. They hadn't done anything wrong, really.
I hadn't endured a worse day at CGL, ever.
I dug in the hot sun, for the first time in months receiving small blisters because I was gripping onto the shovel so tightly. I had the 'tea towel' wrapped tightly around my head with my cap on top holding it in place, and not once did I open my mouth and joke around with the other guys.
Life had certainly become very dull.
I finished digging rather early, just about ten minutes after Armpit, and I went off to take a shower. I stood there with my eyes closed, letting the icy water wash away my thoughts and feelings.
Then came dinner. Still, the guys hadn't talked to me while they played pool and did their other leisurely stuff. They kept throwing me anxious looks, but I stood firm and ignored them.
I sighed.
This really was very dull.
Dinner was a very quiet affair. (I've always thought that word was weird. Affair. Makes me think of ladies cheating on their husbands with the fat and ugly milkman.)
X-Ray broke the silence with a sudden startlingness.
"So she meant everything to you?"
It took me a minute to answer. I was surprised and overwhelmingly grateful that he had spoken, surprised and confused at his question, then exasperated as I tried to think of an appropriate reply.
"Yes," I mumbled to my dinner.
"What X meant is," Magnet said seriously, leaning forward, "Do we count at all?"
I looked up at them, puzzled. They looked back at me, clearly waiting for an answer.
"What d'ya mean?" I muttered again, looking back down.
"Are we your friends?" Zigzag asked bluntly, straight to the point.
"Course you are!" I exclaimed, horrified that they could think otherwise.
"Well, you're not really acting like it," Armpit said solemnly, and the guys nodded at this.
I frowned, "What?"
"We know she meant a lot to you... but there's no need to think it's the end of the world. I mean... remember us?" Zero asked quietly, looking at me right in the eye.
Geebez... you cannot look at that little dude without feeling all resentment and anger melt away.
"Yeah..." I realised how much of a jerk I had been, "Yeah... I didn't think of that..." I took a deep breath, "Sorry. I just... miss her."
"We miss her too," Caveman reassured, "It's just like what Zero said, though... it ain't the end of the world. We're still here. She's... not the only person you can talk to, you know. "
I nodded, unable to talk. They grinned at me.
"It's a'ight, man. No need to apologise. You're a jackarse all the time, but this time it was abnormal."
They nodded again, laughing as if X-Ray had just said something particularly witty.
I felt relieved and sort of... happy. I might not have Andii around anymore, but I'll always have these buddies of mine. I looked up at them, at their stupid grinning faces, and something emotional filled me.
At that exact precise moment (and please pay attention, for I'll never become this mushy again) I wanted to tell them how much I appreciated them and their help... their friendship... their lame jokes... everything. OH, I LOVE YOU ALL!
But... no.
I'd never do that. I'm not the type.
So I smiled back, and it probably came out weak, because I honestly felt like bawling and hugging each of them, messing up their hair fondly and crooning all sorts of things like, "And thank you for always being there for me in my darkest hours when no one else was around."
Zig clapped me on the shoulder and announced, "We have a winner!"
That got me excited.
"I get a present?" I almost squealed.
"Well..." Zig looked around helplessly. The others all frowned at him in a "what the heck are you talking about" kinda way.
"No," he finished sadly, "But - "
And something very odd indeed happened.
"Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O!" sang a high-pitched, childish voice very loudly. All heads swivelled around to the Wreck Room door, looking for the source of the noise.
"D'you ever remember a guy whose voice hasn't broken yet?" Magnet wondered out loud.
But the voice didn't belong to a teenage boy whose testes hadn't popped yet. Instead, a tiny, miniscule, little, small, puny, teeny-weeny girl hardly visible had walked in, occasionally disappearing behind the pool table and couches but her squeaky little voice still very audible.
"AND ON THAT FARMY HAD SOME ELE-FANS, E-I-E-I-O!"
She peeked out from behind the television and froze. I guess we looked pretty odd. All the guys had fallen silent and were poking their heads out here and there for a better look. Zero had actually stood up on the bench and was now looking at her, transfixed, over my head.
There was silence for a very long time.
I'm pretty sure all of D-tent were as stunned as I was. And not just because she was under the idiotic impression that elephants could live on farms.
Finally, Zigzag broke the silence.
"Is it just me," he said audibly, looking avidly at the tiny girl who appeared to be petrified, "Or does the 'lil girl just keep gettin' shorter?"
The girl glanced at Zig, her eyes widened and she let out the worst scream I had ever heard in my whole life.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
...Good holy grapevine.
There was instant movement as everyone immediately yelped and groaned and clapped their hands over their ears. There was an outbreak of muttering and moans.
"MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" the blonde lassie shrieked again, causing those sitting nearest to the Wreck Room to cover their ears in pain again. Crying hysterically, she whirled around and went tearing back out of the room.
That was certainly pleasant.
I lifted a finger and inserted it into my ear, twisting it around.
On that note, I wonder if my ears will ever be the same again.
All around me, I heard a lot of other people wonder out loud the same thing.
"Who," said X-Ray heavily, "Was that?"
My mind was swirling with a thousand different thoughts and hopes, but I was too frightened to voice any of them. Mustn't get your hopes up, I told myself scornfully. But at the same time, my heart was pounding madly and I was trembling with anticipation. Almost instinctively, I reached for my hair and smoothed it down.
...Shut up.
"Err - Zig?" Caveman said tentatively, "Did you say before that she was... she was... you know... her?"
The creature that had suddenly erupted in my chest seemed to be doing a sort of victory dance. My head buzzing like mad and my heart beating so wildly it might just leap right out of my chest and land on my plate, I tried to stop myself shaking. Why the heck am I feeling like this?
It's just... her.
You know.
Her.
Oh my goodness. I think I might be... inlovewithherorsomethingofthelike.
Oh boy. Take deep breaths, Squid. Breathe in... breathe out.
I caught snippets of the others' convo while trying out my new calming technique.
"Looked exactly... could be the same replica..."
"...blonde...?"
"...never that short... odd socks... useful for Christmas..."
Meanwhile, Pit was talking very loudly considering he was sitting right at our table.
"HELLO? HELLO? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME? CAN ANYONE ELSE HEAR THAT BUZZING NOISE? DID YOU HEAR THAT LIL, LIL, MINI-GIRL BEFORE? DID YOU HEAR HER? HELLO? I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF. HELLO?"
"Oh shut up, for crying out loud."
With D-tent-cabin squabbling over pointless measures, with meaningful and amused glances at me every now and then (very annoying), and the rest of the Mess Hall muttering that they'd never hear things correctly again, and who in the living follicle was that dwarf that appeared out of nowhere, no one noticed (that is, of course, other than me, The Very Observant Man) that there was a new stranger in our midst and she was conversing softly yet (it seemed) quite cheerfully with Mr. Sir, who looked a tad bit shocked.
I, The Very Observant Man, also noted that the Aforementioned Dwarf who had blonde hair yet looks exactly like the girl I like very much was hiding behind the New Stranger, hugging her knees and sneaking peeks from behind her towards the boys who are still not getting over the fact that they heard a little five-year-old scream her lungs out and damage their ear hairs or whatever.
And those last two sentences were the longest I've ever thought.
Savour the moment.
"Who is that?" X-Ray said swiftly, cutting into the squabbling as he noticed the New Stranger who was still conversing with Mr. Sir, who still looks a tad bit shocked.
"I think - " I said before I could stop myself. Quick! Finish the sentence in a random way so they'll never suspect you!
"...I can hear a bird singing!"
"I don't think I'll ever be able to hear anything again," mumbled Magnet, massaging his ears.
"DID YOU JUST CALL ME A FAG?"
Rolling his eyes, X-Ray shot me a look before glancing over at the blonde lady again.
"You know what?" Zero said matter-of-factly, and I stiffened a little when I realised he was going to say aloud what I had been thinking, "I think that's Andii's family. That girl's her sister. She showed me a picture of her once."
For some reason, Caveman and X-Ray found this piece of information irritating.
"Why didn't you say so earlier?"
"Yeah! Forcing us to make these wild assumptions which could've been confirmed if you'd just said so."
"Well sor-ree."
"You should be!"
"SQUID!"
"Yes?" I inquired pleasantly, turning to X-Ray.
"Get over there, now!"
"Err - why?"
"Because they're her family, why else, you dolt? GO!"
"...NO!"
"GO!"
"NO!"
"GO!"
"I WILL NOT!"
I have overcome my fear of the Premature Heart-Attack Glare which X hurled at me fleetingly about fifty times during our yelling match. Now usually I wouldn't dare refusing him, but I was much more afraid of approaching the prominent parentals of the girl-I-kinda-fancy than getting whooped by X-Ray's visuals.
I chanced a glance over at Mr. Sir and the blonde woman whom I suppose is Andii's mother, and my insides plummeted as they usually so when I saw Mr. Sir look at me beadily, with a puzzled expression on his face. He kinda glared at me before turning back to the lady.
Now what have I done?
"GO!"
I'd forgotten about X-Ray.
"NO!"
Pit was still trying to regain his hearing. Poor thing. He was now banging his ear lobes with a spoon.
So, with all the chaos of X-Ray and me yelling, Pit being weird, Zero and Caveman having a muttered, very fast and quite incoherent conversation, Zig singing, "She'll be comin' round to the Mess Hall when she comes!" and Magnet looking highly affronted like it was our fault he was left not doing something worth taking note of, and the surrounding guys chattering about goodness-knows-what, I didn't notice that Mr. Sir had made his way over to me, with the lady and the little girl behind him.
"You."
I froze in the middle of saying "NO!" and turned around gingerly, bracing myself for the worst. The table fell quiet.
Mr. Sir was looking at me suspiciously, "Err... yeah... yer... the lady wants to talk to yeh! I dunno! Something of the like. Eh?" he looked hopefully at the woman who was now beside him.
She was looking at me with a sort of motherly smile, and I felt loads better.
She seems nice!
Before she could say anything, though, the little girl shrieked suddenly, jumping up and down. Cue for everyone else to clutch at their ears again and cry out in agony.
"Mummy! Mummy! MUMMY! Tha's him! Tha's the one Sis likes!"
"Leelee, I know. Please keep your voice down, honey. Remember what I told you about using your outdoor voice inside?" she had suddenly gone stern, looking at her tiny daughter expectantly.
"I know, I know."
The woman took a deep breath and turned to me again, the smile back on her face.
"Hello," she said warmly, "I'm - "
But we were interrupted again.
"HANNAAAAAAAAAH!"
Another young female voice, loud and obstinate, but it wasn't the 'lil girl's. I'd recognise hers anywhere.
"Hello!" a distinct male voice called out pleasantly when they saw who had entered, and this was followed by several wolf whistles and catcalls.
They better be glad I know it's not the 'lil girl, otherwise I'd bash them.
...Heh. Just kidding!
Sort of.
"Oh, shove it you disgusting prats!" came a revolted voice, which stopped the boys cheering abruptly, all of them struck dumb that they would get this kind of response, "HANNAH!"
I was not in my right mind. I was overwhelmed, hella confused and very hungry. My senses weren't catching up with the situation and I was starting to feel as though this was all a big, fat dream.
The girl came crashing into the blonde lady who had been trying to talk to me, sounding absolutely hysterical.
"Hannah! Ohmygosh! Andii's fallen down in a hole! I was trying to get her to come in here but then she kinda ran away and I heard her scream and now she's in a hole! And she says she can't get up! She says her foot hurts and I think her ankle may be broken but the hole was too deep for me to get her and I couldn't see her properly cos it's so dark! Ohmygosh! She could be seriously hurt! I dunno what to do! I dunno where Jay is! He wasn't in the car! I think he's lost! But Andii! She's in pain! We've gotta help her!"
I was still confused.
Very lost.
Rather insane.
Yet I couldn't help snorting in reply and saying, "She's fine."
Because, of course, I have very prominent ears and I heard and understood every word she had said. ANDII'S FALLEN INTO A HOLE AGAIN.
Everyone'll have a field day.
The girl, who was very pretty (hey, just observing here) with slight arrogant features on her Oriental face, was now looking at me with a frown. The lady also looked at me, surprised.
"Hey, you! I know you! You're that guy! You're the guy! You're Squid!" the Asian girl exclaimed, recognition dawning on her face, "You've gotta go save her! Before she dies."
"I don't think she'll die, Claude," the lady said reasonably, though she continued to look worried, "Where is Jay, the daft man...?"
"HELLO? HELLO? HEY, WHO ARE YOU? HEY, CAN YOU HEAR ME? HELLO?"
The girl stared at Armpit, quirking an eyebrow.
Zig nudged me silently, as if to say, "What the heck is going on?"
"She won't die. I bet you anything she's faking it," I said calmly, subtly nudging Zig back to say, "Shhh! Agent Squid is working it out!"
"Oh yeah?" the girl named Claude said fiercely, glaring at me, "Why's that?"
"Because she's fallen in a hole before and she was fine. She was just a bit shaken up, so I carried her back," I informed her, my senses finally catching up with my surroundings.
Claude's defensive and fierce expression melted away, and she got a glassy look in her eyes, "Aw, really? That's so sweet! You have to go and get her, then, cos I dunno why she's lying to me that she's in pain otherwise. She'll listen to you."
I suddenly felt very, very small.
"Go... get her?" I said sheepishly, "Um... I don't think so..."
"And why not?"
"Cos... I was eating my dinner before you lot showed up! Rather hungry, am I!" I shoved a spoonful of rice into my mouth to emphasise my excuse.
"Oh shut up and go fetch her already!"
Wow. Great likeness to Andii. Demanding. Argumentative.
Slightly irritating.
"I - oh - what? Who are you, anyway?" I burst out, after swallowing a bit too quickly.
"I'll answer that," the lady intervened swiftly, "Hello, I'm Hannah Williams. I'm Andii's mother. I take it that you know Andii. You two seemed to know each other pretty well from what my daughter told me. This is my other daughter, Cecily. She's a bit shy. Stop poking your tongue out at the young man, Leelee. It's rude! And this is Andii's best friend, Claude."
It all came rushing back to me. What Andii had told me when she had told me the story of her cousin, Tina. Her sister, Cecily. Her best friend, Claude. How could I have forgotten?
"Ah," was all I could say, "I see."
And I felt very stupid.
"Go then!" Claude exploded, "Get her! Now! Now." She was whacking me on the arm and pushing me out of my seat, steering me towards the Wreck Room. I heard Magnet mutter, "What a beast..." The other stunned members of D-tent-cabin were absolutely bamboozled.
"Here, take this dear," called Hannah in a slightly harassed voice. I turned around, half in a daze, and just managed to catch the torch she tossed at me.
"Thanks," I said lamely, allowing myself to be pushed by the crazy girl. With one final shove, I stumbled out of the lit Wreck Room into the dark wasteland. I blinked rapidly.
"She's over there!" Claude said in a stage-whisper, pointing, "Talk to her, okay? Don't just stand there!"
She pushed me again.
"Alright, I'm going!" I shot back, annoyed, and started to shuffle across the dirt.
"FASTER!" I heard her hiss behind me.
I moved just a tiny bit quicker, slightly dreading but mostly excited about the unknown possibilities of what would happen next.
I remembered something, though, and made a detour back to my cabin. I didn't hear Claude squawk at me angrily, so I guess she had gone back inside.
I had to get something before seeing Andii again.
---
ANDII'S POV.
So there. I've done it. I walked into a hole, stayed in a crumpled heap and lied to my best friend, telling her I was so injured I couldn't stand up.
Just so she won't force me into the Mess Hall to come face-to-face with him again.
Oooh, dearie dearie me.
Claudey ran back, screaming her head off. Poor thing. She actually thinks I'm hurt. Well, I'll just have to continue faking it until someone slightly brainless like my father comes walking in, landing on top of me, so that I'll really be in pain.
Ouchie.
For now I'm sitting here, in total darkness, kind of bored.
At least I'm not in there.
I'm not ready. I'm still a bit... overwhelmed, I suppose. It's just Squid. But that's why I'm so nervous. It's Squid.
And who knows what kind of disturbance Cecily and my mother has created? They are two very odd human beings, as I'm sure you've noticed, especially in Cecily's case. Combined with an odd camp full of odd boys, you could get quite a mess.
I am not about to face him again when everyone's in a pickle.
I THINK I FELT SOMETHING CRAWL AGAINST MY HAND.
OHMYGOODNESS.
I'M GOING TO DIE.
I'MGONNADIEI'MGONNADIEI'MGONNADIE.
...Oh, it's my bracelet slipping off.
False alarm.
Back to wallowing in self-pity.
Siiiiiiiigh.
Let's try and ignore the noise in the Mess Hall, shall we? The noise that I've missed so much over the past week.
Oooooh, nooooooooo.
I really want to see them again. I really want to see him again. But what are they gonna think of me? I just took off... like that... and now I'm back again? They aren't gonna welcome me with open arms... they're teenage boys.
Besides -
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" I shrieked, throwing up my hands to shield my face as a beam of light shone right into my eyes. I'M BLIND, I'M BLIND!
"Claude!" I yelped, still thrashing wildly about like the drama queen I am, "Stop that!"
The great people of the above have something against me. Because, of course, the person rudely shining a torch in my face wasn't, in fact, Claude. Nope. Of course it wasn't her. Since when has Merlin been nice to me? (Don't ask me where I got Merlin from.) Because I thought it was Claude, it wasn't her, but if I hadn't thought it was her, it would have been her.
TO MAKE MATTERS LESS COMPLICATED, PAY ATTENTION TO THE NEXT LINE OF MY LOVELY STORY:
Through the dazzling light I made out the shadow of someone tall walking to the very edge of the hole. They crouched down, and at that moment I knew exactly who it was... and hated them dearly for it.
"Sup, 'lil girl."
Oh, shoot.
I pretended I was part of the hole as he jumped down right beside me. I pretended there was no possible way he could see me through the darkness (even though he had a torch - shut up). I pretended he wasn't so close to me that I could feel his body warmth radiate and fill me up, making me suddenly very warm.
My mouth had gone very dry. I had gone very still.
"So," Squid said slowly, setting the torch onto the dirt so that it lit up the hole. I was very aware that he could see me now, and that I could see him too, and that we both had eyes and could see each other and oh my goodness I'm so bloody scared right now.
I SHAN'T LOOK AT HIM. NEVER!
I fixed my eye upon a speck of dirt. Spiffing, really.
The silence was killing me.
"Hi," I finally said evenly, still staring at the dirt and wishing I was a witch so I could charm it to do the Macarena to distract Squid. IF HE KEEPS LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT I WILL NOT SURVIVE THE NEXT FEW MINUTES.
NO.
NEVER!
DIE, SQUID, DIE!
WHERE'D THAT COME FROM?
WHY AM I YELLING AND SCREAMING IN MY HEAD?
THE BOTTLED EMOTIONS INSIDE! THE ANGER! THE MISERY! OH, THE PAIN!
I am such a baka.
"Hi," he said again, letting out a breath he had been holding.
"Hello," I replied so quickly and defensively I looked up to see his expression.
Big mistake.
He looked absolutely adorable.
His puppy dog brown eyes... his cute little nose... aww... I'm such a sucker for him... sigh... I could just stare at him all day... he is so cute... where's his tea towel, I missed that thing... I want a piggy-back... I...
Am so in love with this idiot.
"I am not!" I exclaimed in a hushed voice, sounding more awed than anything.
"You aren't what?" Squid asked, sounding confused and amused at the same time.
To my horror, I felt the blood rushing to my face.
I'm blushing.
Oh, life has gone to the puppies.
That, or the hamster.
Never liked hamsters.
"Um," I said lamely, trying to think quickly, "I'm not... yellow."
"Yellow?" Squid raised an eyebrow and smirked, "I see you haven't changed."
"I see you haven't either!" I shot back hotly, going pinkish red. I glanced up and down, "Still wearing that horrible old orange jumpsuit, eh?"
He rolled his eyes, "You really haven't changed, 'lil girl."
"Yeah, well," I suddenly felt a lot more comfortable, and I smacked him on the shoulder, "You, mister, are an ARSEHOLE. What d'you think you're doing, trying to take on three guys at once?"
Rubbing his shoulder, Squid looked at me with his... gorgeous eyes, and said defensively, "They called you trash! What was I supposed to do, sit there and let them continue it?"
"That would've been smart, arsehole!"
"Stop calling me an arsehole, stupid girl!"
I hit him again.
"OW!"
"Yeah, that's right!" I said triumphantly, "Who's the stupid girl now?"
"You," he muttered.
I lifted my hand to hit him, but he had learnt his lesson and he quickly reached out and grabbed onto my wrist.
Ah, sugar. Butterflies are breeding in my stomach.
Sorry, that was rather gross, wasn't it?
"Stop hitting me," he said dangerously softly.
"And if I don't?" I challenged, though without much gusto as I was gazing dreamily at him, at the same time I was screaming silently in my head. We were much too close... I'd never seen him so closely before... he has great eyelashes, you know...
"This," he smirked.
And he kissed me.
Right then and there.
In the darkness.
In a hole.
And you know what?
It was... nice and sweet.
When we broke off, I stared at him evilly. He looked at me a bit shyly at first, then raised his eyebrows.
"Well?" he asked, releasing my wrist slowly as he straightened up.
I took advantage of this and slapped him on the shoulder, "Well what, prat?"
"Now you're angry at me?" Squid sounded highly affronted, grabbing both my wrists this time.
"Of course not!" I mumbled, rolling my eyes, as I struggled against him.
"Oh, good. Because I need to ask you something."
"Ask away," I said serenely, acting a lot more cooler than I felt, because I was about to... well, explode is a nice word. With all the tension and stuff. You know. Normal, everyday life.
Squid bit his lip and cleared his throat, suddenly embarrassed, "Err... well... the thing is... uh... PSYCHE!"
"What?" I gaped at him.
"Sorry... that was random... well, I'm gonna use the pick-up line Robert used..."
It took me two ticks to realise what he meant.
Narrowing my eyes, I hissed, "You're going to ask me if I have balls?"
"What, it doesn't flatter you?"
"Are you nuts?" I shrilled, breaking free of his grasp and batting his hands away, "Actually, no, don't answer that!"
"Hey, I was only kidding," Squid said reasonably, "But... you know... will you?" he asked hopefully.
I bit my lip to torture him, before blushing brilliantly pink as I nodded.
He beamed and kissed me again. Stupid prat.
I blushed some more.
Yay.
But I was happy. See that big grin on my face?
Hehe.
We enjoyed the first few minutes of being a couple (ehehe... that word is odd) and finally being with each other again. Then I said mischievously, "So... how's Claude?"
He smirked, "She's just like you. Absolutely feisty."
"Really?" I feigned hurt, "I thought she'd be hysterical, since she thought I was hurt."
Hehe.
I am so excellent at pretending to be injured.
"Oh, yeah, she was," Squid said dismissively, "But then I told her you'd be fine, since you had already fallen in a hole before."
"Oi! You ruined it!"
"I know I did," he grinned at me and kissed me on the cheek. My stomach fluttered again and I couldn't help beaming and flushing pink.
"So," Squid said affectionately, "Let's go back then... um..." he looked heartily embarrassed, and honestly, I must've looked the same way too. Go back and face everyone?
Wuh oh.
"This is embarrassing," I muttered.
"I'll say."
"So what do we do? We can't stay down here forever."
"Why not? We could be like cave men."
"That's more of Caveman's territory."
"Whatever, 'lil girl. You make the lamest puns."
"You say the lamest things."
"Shut up. I'm getting out of here now."
"Go ahead."
Squid helped me back out of the hole, and we were both steadying ourselves when I heard my father give a shout. Squid and I immediately leapt apart, him trodding on my foot in the process so that I "instinctively" kicked him in the foot.
Both rubbing our victimised feet, we spun around guiltily.
"Hello, Daddy," I said a little too heartily, being sure to get as far away from Squid as possible.
But Daddy didn't seem to have heard me, "You!" he was saying in an almost awed voice, looking at Squid in wonder, "Alan Smith! That's you, right?"
"Err... yes, sir," Squid squeaked in a very small voice. I chanced a glance at him. He looked absolutely terrified. Hehe. That's so sweet.
"I know you! I know your grandparents! Well, everyone knows your grandparents, couldn't find finer people anywhere. But I don't suppose you remember them, then?"
I am so embarrassed. Daddy rambles on about the most random things.
But to my surprise, Squid was biting his lip like he was thinking about something related to what Daddy was saying.
"No, not really," he finally answered quietly.
I frowned, "What's up?" I immediately demanded, turning to him, "How does my dad know your grandparents?"
Squid slowly turned to me. Daddy seemed to sense what was happening, because he turned around and walked off with a sort of swagger (which he only does if he's successfully proven Mum wrong - which only happens, like, never), calling over his shoulder, "Tell her, good man, and take her back to this splendid shack afterward!"
Splendid shack equals Mess Hall.
"What's going on?" I wanted to know, getting curiouser and curiouser, as soon as Daddy was out of earshot.
Squid was looking at the dirt. I glared at him, hands on my hips.
"Well?" I prompted, tapping my foot, "Dude!"
He looked up at me with those eyes - ah, someone throw a cream pie at me - and I almost forget to be stern with him. But I held my ground. No stupid chocolate brown eyes can ever prevail against me!
Hurrah! Andii rules!
Anywho.
"Um," he said sheepishly. He slowly eased himself into a sitting position on the ground, "You know... that story... well, not a story... but yeah... about that guy... can't remember his name... and ah... his parents... oh wait, his parents I should start with. You know those parents that were like..."
My mind had already wandered off elsewhere, as it always does when I'm in Science class.
BUT THIS IS SQUID! WHAT HE'S TELLING ME IS WHAT I WANT TO KNOW!
"You are making no sense whatsoever," I resorted to say calmly.
Shooting me a slightly filthy look, Squid took a deep breath and said, "Okay. You grew up in Palmoilin, yeah?"
"Yeah," then something occurred to me, "Wait. How come you call it by its actual name? No one else does."
Looking uncomfortable, Squid answered carefully, "I... I used to live there."
Eh?
I must've looked confounded. (Whatever that means. For a better word, let's say stunned, shall we?)
"But," I spluttered, completely and en masse stumped, "You can't have! I mean... once you buy a house there, it's stupid to move out! And you don't live there anymore, so you must've moved out, because..."
I trailed off.
I looked at Squid beadily, "You're lying, aren't you?"
"No," he said with a sigh, looking up into the sky as though reminiscing, "We didn't move out... we were given the boot." And he looked at me again, right in the eyes, and I looked back, registering what he was saying.
"What?" I said instinctively, then, "...Oh..."
Then, "...No... way... you can't... not..."
Squid nodded remorsefully, "Yup."
Oh.
My.
Jelly.
"You're their little boy? You're their son?" I said weakly, wave after wave of shock crashing down on me, "Your father... was James... your mother - "
"She was a drunk. Remember? Dad tried to protect her but we only ended up getting kicked out..."
I collapsed back onto the ground, stunned. We sat in respectful silence for a couple of minutes.
The news began to sink in deeper.
"Wait," I whispered, looking at Squid with a frown, "That means... your grandparents... they're the great Charlie and Christina Smith?"
"Yeah, that's them... wait, the great?" he looked confused, "What's so great about them?"
"Are you kidding me? The richest of the richest, most respected people ever! Really nice, you know. They bought me a dollhouse for my fourth birthday." I still remember that. I love that dollhouse.
"You know them?"
"Everyone knows them! Everyone loves them! And of course, everyone feels sorry for them because of that scandal with their son and that outsider girl. I mean..." I immediately felt stupid, "Err... your parents, I suppose."
Squid went quiet.
I dunno what possessed me to do it, but I felt a sudden upsurge of affection for the boy sitting across me, and I crawled over and hugged him. I felt like I had to do something to show that I cared about him... a lot.
He was surprised. I knew it. He hadn't expected it. I knew it. But he was grateful all the same. I knew it. He reached up and held my head, and we were quiet for a little while.
"Where's your father?" I asked him quietly.
I slowly released him and Squid managed a small smile, "I dunno. Took off when I was still little, remember?"
"Oh..." I paused to think, "Did you know they were looking for you?" I said softly, taking his hand.
"Who are?" he asked almost instantly, looking down at my hand in his.
"Your grandparents."
And we fell quiet again.
I knew what was going on in his mind. A family... a real family, one that he never had, or at least never remembered. People who cared about him... people who had known him since birth.
"Would you... go back to them?" I almost whispered. Talking loudly seemed totally out of place.
Squid half-smiled and squeezed my hand, "I dunno... I... forget it for now. Everyone's probably wondering where we are. Let's go, okay?"
I had hundreds more questions, but I decided to leave it to later. Nodding, I stood up and then pulled him up as well. Hand in hand, we went back to the Mess Hall.
We had a noisy greeting.
" 'LIL GIRL!" Zig yelled, rushing over to me and almost knocking me and Squid over with a hug, "HEY THERE! I KNEW YOU'D BE BACK! THEY WERE TELLING ME YOU WERE!"
The rest of D-tent came crowding around, hugging me and shaking Squid's hand and doing all sorts of random things. I couldn't help grinning my head off. My cheeks hurt from too much smiling.
"HEY! IT'S THE 'LIL CHICKA! HELLO? HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME?" Armpit hollered, "GEEZ, DUNNO HOW MANY TIMES I'VE ASKED THAT BUT NO ONE EVER ANSWERS."
"WE - CAN - HEAR - YOU - LOUD - AND - CLEAR!" bellowed Magnet right into Pit's ear.
Armpit turned to him vaguely, "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
Shaking my head, I hugged Zero and Caveman again, both whom were talking very rapidly and filling me in on everything I had missed at CGL. While they were talking, I noticed Claude standing near the C-tent table, talking out of the corner of her mouth to a dark-haired boy with blue eyes, who was smirking at her. I laughed out loud.
"So," X-Ray said knowingly, and they all crowded in front of me and Squid, almost like a mafia, "You guys... sorted it out, yet?"
Ai, the stupid smirks on their faces were infuriating.
"Yeah, we have," Squid said brightly, while I blushed for the umpteenth time that evening, "I'm hungry, let's eat!"
"I'm hungry too!" squealed Cecily.
"Well, there's food in the car, Leelee, you can get some of tha - oh, dear, I don't think you should eat that," my mother said most anxiously, watching as my baby sister took a bit of X-Ray's bread and nibbled on it.
I laughed again. Feeling ten times fonder of her, I picked her up in my arms and squeezed her. She giggled and threw her little arms around me.
In about five minutes' time, the seven members of D-tent, my parents and Claude were squeezed at the bench. Plates of food were on the table in front of us. I grinned as I remembered my first impression of the obscure food. Claude's current facial expression forcefully reminded me of that. Cecily was sitting on my lap and I was sitting between my parents. Mum said grace. The others followed her lead. Then we began to eat.
And talk.
And laugh.
And eat some more.
And make a whole lot of noise.
Magnet was arguing with Claude about animals. Claude hates them, you see. She's scared, more like.
Caveman was talking to my parents about his father, who's an inventor. My parents were very interested, especially my dad.
Squid and Armpit were having an eating race, being egged on by X-Ray and me.
Zig was entertaining Cecily by doing weird things with his food. She screamed with laughter and applauded.
After dinner, my father stood up to make a toast.
I know, a toast.
I know, my father.
I know, stood up.
All of us held our cups of water up, looking at him expectantly and uncertainly. Actually, I felt like running away, and by the looks of it, so did Mum.
"To," Daddy said with dignity, as if he were about to say the most inspiring and passionate words ever, "Everyone."
We were all a bit stumped.
Daddy took a swig of his water.
Glancing around at each other, we lifted our cups to our mouth as well, half-heartily going, "Oh, yeah, to everyone, that's a great toast, really, yeah, excellent, brilliant!"
Then Armpit stood up.
"Uh oh," mumbled Magnet, looking apprehensive.
"TO," Armpit started proudly, holding his cup high in the air and beaming, "GOOD FOOD."
GOOD WHAT?
WHAT FOOD?
We didn't bother to hide our "what the follicle?" looks this time.
Daddy, however, slapped the bench with his hand and said loudly, "That's right, good man, to good food!" And he hit Armpit's cup with his own with such force that water slopped all over the table. The two didn't seem to notice. They cheered loudly.
Claude looked a tiny bit scared now.
But by now, everyone else was standing up, and we were all soon making extravagant toasts, much to the open-mouthed stares of the other tent-cabin tables, Mr. Sir, Mr. Pendanski (my old best friend :D) and the Warden woman.
"To CGL!"
"To spoons!"
"To tables!"
"To dirt!"
"To holes!"
"To shovels!"
"To friends!"
"To brotherhood!"
"And don't forget sisterhood!" Claude even piped up.
"Barbie dolls!" squealed Cecily.
Amidst all this, I grinned and laughed. Daddy's toast, come to think of it, really made sense.
To everyone.
All of us. Rich and poor. Intelligent and average.
Because we're all people and we can find companionship with one another.
And the saying, 'birds of a feather, flock together' ?
Doesn't mean anything.
"TO HONESTY!"
That, no matter how thick some may find me to be, is something I have learnt.
"TO SEXY HAIR!"
"What the..."
I was perfectly happy. I was with the two different groups of people who made me happiest, and we were all together. I was with Squid... sweet Squid, and we had each other. Even Claude seems to have meshed well with the CGL boys, as she had gone back to talking with the dark-haired C-tent boy.
We were singing... cheering... talking... and laughing. My dignified (well, not really) parents having eating competitions with the boys... my boys-hating sister playing with Zero's hair... and me... grinning my head off and feeling a bit teary.
I guess coming out to the middle of nowhere in the kentucky-fried-desert has its merits, after all.
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A/N: UGH! UGH! THAT WAS AWFUL! Not at all what I wanted. :( I feel so bad now, because I made you all wait for so long and... this is what you get. Siiigh. The epilogue will be better, I promise. :) Hehe. Please give me your honest opinion of this chapter... I need to hear it to make me write better. Thank you so much for the reviews... oh my gosh that's all I seem to say to you guys. I dunno how to tell you how much it means to me... it makes me smile so much. :) Thanks guys, you really brighten up my day. :) The humor in this chapter is quite strained, as it has been for the past few chapters actually. It doesn't flow anymore. I will update within the next two weeks. I promise! (holds out pinky)
I had a lovely birthday, thank you. :) And I'm really, really, really glad you guys like this story so much, and that it makes you laugh and everything. I feel so proud when I read things like that! You guys are so sweet:) Dunno what I'd do without you. And there's almost 500 reviews... WOW! That's amazing, it really is! I can't believe it! I AM ABSOLUTELY GOBSMACKED. Thank you! Arrigato! Er... grazie! Dor jer! Hehe! Okay! Bye for now! But not for long! I promise! - msq.
Chapter 25 - Epilogueness: a series of letters, notes, diary entries and so on. :) PS. ANY LOOSE ENDS? COZ I'M BOUND TO FORGET SOME STUFF! ASK IN A REVIEW AND I'LL BE SURE TO ANSWER IT (IF IT'S ANSWERABLE) IN THE EPILOGUE-STORYNESS!
Chapter 26 - Replies and credits and a short A/N. :) Don't worry, I'll disguise this so that ff net won't remove MY WHOLE STORY AGAIN. :(
La Fin.