Disclaimer (I think I forgot to do this in my first two chapters): I don't own RK or the characters - but if I did I would be one happy camper!

Well folks, this is chapter three! Four will be on its way, as soon as I know what it's gonna be about. :) Constructive critisicm (I may have spelled that wrong!) is always welcome. I hope you like it so far. Of course, the more you review the more I update! Happy reading.

Kenshin:

I am on my feet and running out of my room before I even consciously register what's going on. I can feel the danger, the anger that seems to litter the air. I am vaguely aware of Sano's door opening and him shouting something at me, but I do not stop. I want only to get to you, mentally cursing myself for letting this happen. I am not sure what unseen force seems to be guiding my feet but I find myself crossing the courtyard, the rain soaking my hair. The dojo door is open and the icy fingers of panic are clutching at my stomach. There is no sound - where are you?

I fly up the steps into the dojo and freeze in the place I stand. In the opposite corner is the body of a large man, ran completely through what appears to be a large stick.

"Kaoru," I call out, frustrated and afraid

The only sound in response is a small whimper from the wall behind me. I spin on my heel and I am greeted with a scene that instantly tears at my soul. There you are, huddled against the wall with your knees drawn up to your chest, your wet hair hanging in your face. Even from here I can see the look on your face - it is one of utter disbelief and shock. You don't even seem to register that I'm here, you just keep staring into nothingness.

I approach you slowly, afraid to startle you and send you even farther into shock. I dimly register that Sano and Yahiko are standing just insided the door, no doubt staring at the form of the dead man.

"Kaoru?" I say gently, slowly advancing forward

Your eyes lock onto me and it takes you a moment to realize who I am.

"Kenshin?"

I can barely hear you, your voice nothing more than a whisper.

"I'm here, Kaoru."

I kneel down next to you and place my hand on your arm, wanting to console you. I nearly jump as you yelp and shy away from my touch.

"What's wrong?" I query worriedly

"My arm," You utter, and the first tears fall from your eyes

"What happened to your arm?"

"I think it's dislocated."

For one brief moment I allow myself to feel the immense pain and guilt that is bubbling in my chest, a red hot dragon threatening to take over. How could I let this happen to you? How could I let my guard down like that and leave you open to attack, leave you vulnerable and alone? Damn my anger - damn myself. What will happen to you now, how will you make it through this? Your soul is strong, Kaoru, but this a pain unlike any you have ever felt.

Determined not to give in to my own pain - at least not yet - I push those thoughts from my mind and focus on the situation in the here and now. I don't think you are capable of moving, and I have to get you into the house. What of the dead body?

"Kenshin," You whisper, finally bringing your eyes to meet mine, "I killed that man. Me. I killed him with my bokken, with my own hands. He was looking for you, said he had a score to settle with Battousai. I couldn't let him get to you ... "

The pain explodes inside my chest, my lungs seeming to collapse in on themselves and stop my breathing all together. That's a bokken sticking out of that man's chest, a broken, shattered stick. The truth that is beginning to overwhelm me, however, is that it is my fault your innocence has been lost. You killed him to protect me - you shed his blood to keep him from reaching me. What have I done?

"Kaoru," I say, my voice and my pain in check, "I am going to carry you inside. Can you handle that?"

You simply nod your head in acquiesance, tears now falling freely from your cerulean eyes. Slowly and with all the gentleness in my being I lift you off the floor, your good arm wrapping around my neck. You lay your head against my chest and I off - handedly wonder if you can hear how quick my heart is beating.

"Sano," I address the tall man, who looks at me, "Do something with that body. Yahiko, come with me."

Neither of them protest. It seems as though they too can sense the perilous state of being you are in, and although Yahiko seems terrified he leads the way back across the courtyard. You don't make a sound and if it weren't for the fact that I can feel your breath on my neck I might have panicked and thought you were dead.

I take you into my room and set you down gently on my futon, doing my best not to jostle your arm. It's late, I know, and if need be I can set your arm but I would really prefer it if Megumi did it. I turn and tell Yahiko to run and tell Sano that once he's done disposing of the body to run and get the fox doctor, and not to return without her. He leaves immediately, leaving just you and I in my room. Was it really only minutes ago that you were in here, telling me that I wasn't worth it? You were so full of life, so angry and alive. And now you're merely a wraith, a silent ghost that I failed to protect. I wanna yell and ask you why you did it, ask you why you didn't just lead him straight to me. I could have taken him, I could have saved your sweet soul from the stain of blood. I could have saved us both, as I have so many times before. So why did you fight this time? Why did you pick up that bokken? If I could turn back time I would stop you from ever leaving my room.

I can feel the pain beating at the gates again, begging, demanding to be let loose and given free reign. I don't know how much longer I can take this, how much longer I can look at your face and know that the pain you are going to feel, the grief and the utter despair that will grip your soul is all because of me in one way or another. I never wanted to cause you this pain, never wanted to be the reason that you lost the purity of your being. I covet your innocence, yes, but I have never even dreamed of taking it away from you. That's what I've done, even if it wasn't intentional. I am the reason that man lies dead in the dojo - I am the reason for it all.

"Kaoru, are you still with me?" I ask, dreading the silence

"I'm still here," You answer, your voice hollow, "But I think before long I'm going to wish I wasn't."

"Don't say that," I say a little too forcefully

You don't seem to notice, however, too lost in shock and whatever else you must be feeling at this moment. Your once bright blue eyes seem dull now, dull and already welling with the despair that will soon try to drown your soul. How well I know that despair, Kaoru, how well I know the feeling of wishing I wasn't here at all. What can I do to help you? My presence in your life has already caused you so much pain, maybe I should just slip away into the night. No, that would only make things worse. I have to stay here, at least for now, to help you get through this any way I can.

"He was going to kill me," You say to no one, "Whether I told him where you were or not he was going to kill me; I knew it and I didn't care. My only thought was to stop him before he could get to you, before he could chance upon Yahiko's sleeping form and run him through with his sword. I knew I wasn't as strong as him, that I couldn't win, so I warned you the only way I could think to. I let out a scream. But then there he was, standing above me with his sword poised to take my life, and suddenly I was filled with the desire to live, to fight for my life no matter what the cost. And I did. And now he's dead. I've never killed a man before. What do I do now, Kenshin?"

Your question pulls at my heart strings. What answer can I give you that is true but will make you feel in any way better?

"Now we just go from day to day, together. I'll help you through this, Kaoru. I swear it, on my life."

I can hear footsteps ringing in the hall and the checked voice of Sano coming closer. He must be filling Megumi in on the little details he knows. The rest can wait until later.

They round the corner into my room, and I briefly look away from Kaoru and up at the doctor. Her mouth is set in a grim line and her eyes look like hard chips of rock, and she quickly takes stock of the situation.

"Is it just her arm that's hurt?" She asks softly

"Physically, yes. She's in a great deal of shock," I answer, my voice sounding foreign to my ears

"Okay. Everybody out. I need room, and time."

I start to protest but a dark look from the fox lady tells me to think better of it. So with a low grumble I turn and accompany Sano out of the room, hearing Megumi close the door behind us. Without a word I make my way to the kitchen, somewhere we can talk and not disturb the women. Yahiko is standing against the wall, his head leaned back against it. Upon entering the room he opens his eyes and brings them to me, the questions resounding in them.

"Both of you sit down. I'll tell you everything I know so far, but you had better listen. I'm not going to say it twice."