Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel.

Chapter 4 – Monsters

Essex leaned over a microscope in his lab, talking to himself. He had begun doing this more of the late; whether it was because he felt he was the only rational person that lived at his lab or because he was losing his mind he was not sure.

"I remember when I used my powers for my own purposes. Genetic Engineer!" He muttered and poked a few cells. "And now, I'm making a unicorn. Such an effective use of immortality and genius."

"Grampa?" He looked down at Becky. "If you don't wanna make me one, you don' have to. Momma says you have to help people sometimes."

'And she's learned the Guilt Trip.' He thought to himself, groaning slightly. "Of course I want to make you a unicorn!" Essex said, lying. Thankfully, his years as one of the world's greatest villains had left him well-versed in the art. He was thankful, however, that that Etienne had been somewhat simple in comparison to the others – he just wanted to go to Disneyworld. Simple enough!

As Becky walked away, she screamed and crawled up one of Sinister legs, making him jump and scream like a woman. He looked down and picked the girl up, glancing at what she was pointing at.

"ADAM! ETIENNE! NOW!"

The two boys, dressed and ready for school, ran into the lab and bore their 'Don't be mad at me, Daddy taught me how to do that' smirks. "Where is your pet snake?" He asked them. The two boys looked at each other.

"In his cage?" Adam said. He met his grandfather's eyes and knew they were in trouble.

"We don't know?" Etienne continued.

Sinister put Becky down and picked up the python. "Hmmmm…" He said out loud as he looked over the large snake. "No, Trix still has no opposable thumbs to open his cage, or even hands or arms, for that matter. So, who was the last person to let him out?"

They pointed to Becky, who stuck her tongue out. "I won't touch that monster!"

Sinister sighed. "Do you even know how dead we'll all be if Trix eats another one of your mother's rabbits? I'm not going to stay up all night cloning a rabbit again so she doesn't find out." He remembered his panic the day he came in and Trix had a conspicuous lump in his long body. The boys had, of course, named the snake after the white rabbit associated with the cereal to slyly commemorate this event.

After taking them to school, he slowly walked into the kitchen and saw a panty-clad butt leaned over in front of the open fridge. Emma. 'Emma has such nice buttocks.' He thought to himself as he approached and lightly smacked it.

"EEK!"

"Oh god…Liz!"

"DAD!" She shrieked. "What the fuck?" Her cheeks had turned a deep shade of red as she stood in front of her father clad in nothing but lingerie.

"What…what are you doing here?" He said. "You're supposed to be gone, and that was supposed to be Emma's ass!"

"You're supposed to be in the lab working on your unicorn!" She yelled back. "Disgusting! Ugh! This is so much worse than you walking in on me and Remy. Geeze! All I wanted was to transport over, raid the fridge, and then leave!"

"Please…go." Essex said.

After Liz was gone, he walked back to his room, crawled into bed with Emma, and went back to sleep. 'Over 150 years of life, and that was most definitely my most embarrassing moment.'

…………………………………………………………………………

"Merde, dat's gross." Remy said, bearing a disgusted smirk. "So y'dad likes t'spank, eh? We gonna have tease Emma!"

Liz hit him in the face with a pillow. "I never want to remember what happened earlier. You talk about it, and you will never get sex from me again."

Remy scratched his chin and pretended to be deep in thought. "On one hand, Remy's been dyin' to take y'dad and Emma down a few notches. On da other, Remy's too lazy dese days and don't want to put da effort forth to please hisself."

"So, in other words, you need me?"" She said playfully.

"Non, y'done served y'purpose. Remy got hisself t'ree smart, good kids." Remy smirked and laughed as she hit him with the pillow again. "But, if y'offerin' Remy's very interested." He rolled closer to the edge of the bed in preparation for his last comment.

"'Course, don' ever ask Remy t'spank y', Lizzy." He said, rolling off the bed as Liz blasted a hole in the wall.

"REMY! You're in big trouble!" She yelled.

…………………………………………………………………………………

Next Chapter: Disneyworld and Spousal Abuse!

Doza – thanks for commenting! I really appreciate it.

Authorless -SG- -- I love Sinister. He's such an ass, it's funny. It's even funnier to mutilate his character.

B Oots – He has Disneyland in the next chapter. I'm sure you can see how taking three Lebeaus, two of which can blow things up, anywhere is funny, especially there.

BlkDiamond – Haha, yeah, I love Essex.