A/N: (Caitlin—she requested her name in fancy typed letters and called the story awesome). Letylyf reminded me about having Ginny show up at some point.

Soon Tom and Pansy found themselves outdoors. "So…" the blonde girl began (a/n: I can't remember what color her hair is, so in this story she's blonde), "are we, like, going out?"

Tom's eyes widened. "Well, the thing is…we could…but I don't really like being touched, you know, human contact. It's so…ugh."

"Oh," she seemed mildly disappointed, "so just friends then?"

"Yeah, that'd be best," Tom replied. Then he said, "Why don't we go shopping?"

"Ok," said Pansy.

They went shopping.

"Oh, look at that shirt, Tom," Pansy said when they had entered a store that sold shirts and things. "You've got to buy it. It would look adorable on you."

"I think you're right," said Tom. He went over and looked at it. It was a black, knit long sleeved shirt with a collar and about three buttons at the top. He decided to purchase it and while he was at the counter began to make idle chit chat with the clerk. "So…" he said, "that's an interesting name tag you've got there. Did you buy it second hand?"

"No, why?" she asked.

"Oh, I don't know. It just looks sort of raggedy."

Pansy giggled at the clerk's offended expression. As she giggled, she turned slightly and saw a familiar red haired person. Well, actually two redheads, a bushy haired—oh for Christ's sake—she saw Ginny, Ron, Hermione, and Harry. "Oh look," she said, "how sad. Their clothes don't match."

Tom smirked, turning towards the fellow Hogwarts attendees, "Doesn't anybody go to class anymore? Why, when I went to Hogwarts—the first time—if you weren't in class, the consequences were awful."

"Maybe that's why you turned into a sadistic bastard," said Ron angrily.

"Maybe," Tom chuckled. Then, "How hello…G—Guiseppe?"

"Ginny," the red haired girl corrected.

"Ah yes. I haven't seen you since you were in…first year?"

"Yes," she seemed surprisingly happy that he remembered.

Tom could see that she still had the remnants of a crush on him, even if she did try to hide it. Knowing this, he said, "You seemed like such a little girl then. You still do, really."

She looked disappointed. "So…is Pansy your girlfriend then?"

"Yes," Tom said smoothly. "Adorable, isn't she?"

"What?" Pansy said.

"Shh," said Tom discreetly.

"Are you two going to the dance together?" Ginny asked.

"What dance?" asked Tom. Then he said, "Oh yes, we are."

Harry was getting impatient. It was obvious that Ginny—for whatever reason—still fancied Tom a bit. It was only lucky that Ron was so thick about things like that, otherwise he'd be furious. "Ginny," he said, "will you please stop chatting with Voldemort so that we can leave."

"Of course," she said, looking a little flustered. The four Gryffindors walked away quickly.

When Tom and Pansy were alone once more, Pansy said, "Tom, I thought a moment ago you said that we weren't a couple, and now you're telling people we are?"

"I know, I know, but I wanted to make Ginny jealous, and also – did you see the way Harry was gazing at me? I want to make sure he keeps his hands off me. Not to mention the little Malfoy, he's worse than his father."

"So we're going to pretend to go out?" Pansy was feeling very slightly overwhelmed.

"You don't mind, do you?" Tom asked.

"No, I suppose not," she said, beginning to feel better about the whole thing.

"Excellent. Why don't we get some ice cream." Tom and Pansy walked off to a random ice cream store and ordered the kind of ice cream they wanted (don't you love these filler sentences?).

Soon they were sitting down and Pansy said, "I can't wait to go dress shopping for the dance! I know exactly what color I'm going to get – lavender! It's going to be so fabulous, I'll have matching eye shadow, of course, and…oh! The shoes!"

'Why don't we go shopping right now," Tom suggested.

"Really? Tom, you're the best!" She jumped up and ran in the direction of the nearest dress shop. Tom followed amusedly.

After about six hours, when Pansy had exhausted most of the possibilities of dresses and Tom had begun to seriously regret going shopping with her, she decided on a suitable one (lavender—of course). "Tomorrow we can go shopping for makeup," she said, as they walked back to Hogwarts.

This made Tom feel ever so slightly suicidal. "Wonderful," he said, "I'm really looking forward to it."

Pansy ignored his sarcasm and said, "Tom, do you have anywhere to go for Christmas?"

"No, I was just planning on staying at school."

"Oh no, you mustn't, you've got to stay at our estate. Mother and Father would be so happy to meet you."

"They already have," Tom reminded her, thinking back to his recent days as the Dark Lord.

"Oh yes, they've met you as You-Know-Who, but not as Tom. They'll love you as Tom. And it would make them very happy to think that I have a steady boyfriend."

"Well…I am astoundingly charming…" Tom was beginning to be swayed by her reasoning.

"Yes, exactly," she said, recognizing that she was effectively persuading him.

"Oh alright. I suppose it can't be that bad. And at least it'll keep me away from Harry over the holiday. I understand that it must be very difficult for him to be falling in love with the person who killed his parents, but he could at least show some decorum and not stare at me all the time."

"Er, yes," said Pansy. She wasn't exactly sure that Harry was in love with Tom, but she decided to humor him. "You would be much safer at my house."

"The only thing is, though, will we be seeing Draco? I know how the Malfoys and Parkinsons are friends," said Tom bitterly.

"Perhaps. But does it matter? Surely you can handle Draco…you certainly have before."

"Yes, you're right." Tom was feeling much better about everything by this time. They spent the rest of the walk back to Hogwarts discussing what Pansy would wear to the dance. The conversation was becoming rather dull when Tom was suddenly struck by an idea. "Pansy!" he said. "You've got to let me do your hair."

"What? Now?" she asked.

"Yes! It'll be so wonderful." He was becoming rather giddy.

"Ok…" she said. "Come on."

They went up to the Slytherin girls' dormitory and somehow got in. "How did I get in here?" Tom asked once they were inside.

"Oh, you know…" said Pansy.

"No," said Tom. "No I don't."

Pansy looked worried for a moment and then seemed to collect her thoughts. "Well, I said the password, didn't I?"

"Yes, but this is the girls dorm. You'd think they'd try to keep boys out," Tom argued.

"Not as much as you might think," said Pansy.

"I see," said Tom, deciding that he didn't really care anymore. "Why don't you sit down over there," he said gesturing to a chair by a mirror, "and I'll get the hair supplies."

"All right," she sat down. "Oh, the hair things are in that drawer," she pointed to a drawer in the nightstand next to her bed.

"Wonderful," said Tom, taking them out and setting to work on her hair. "So…" he said after a few moments, "I was trying to think of a way to annoy Harry. Can you think of anything?"

"Oh that sounds fabulous," Pansy grinned. "It's too bad you and Draco don't get along. Annoying Harry is one of his favorite pastimes." Seeing Tom's glare at the mention of Draco, she decided to quickly move on, "So have you thought of any ideas yet?"

"Yes, but most of them are…" he was going to say stupid but realized that, as Lord Voldemort, he shouldn't call any of his plans stupid, "unsuitable," he concluded the sentence. "There was one, for example, that involved me seducing a girl Harry likes and then arranging for him to catch us in a compromising situation. Unfortunately, that won't work for two reasons. Firstly, because I'm pretending to go out with you, and pretending to go out with someone else at the same time would just be hopelessly complicated. And secondly, because what girl could Harry possibly like when he so completely in love with me?"

"Those are all good points," Pansy frowned. "I think we'll have to think about this one for awhile." She paused and then gasped, "You know what we need? A notebook to organize this!"

"That's brilliant!" said Tom. Then, "Oh, Draco will be so jealous when he finds out what we're planning!"

"What are you planning?" asked the blonde person Tom had just mentioned, walking over to where they were standing.

"How did you get in here?" asked Tom.

"The Slytherin girls' dorm is really easy to get into," Draco explained.

"Oh yeah," said Tom. Then he decided to gloat a bit, "We're planning to annoy Harry more than anyone ever has before!"

"Don't you think you've already accomplished that?" asked Draco. "What with killing his parents and all that."

"No, no, you're confusing 'annoying' with 'making incredibly depressed.'"

"Oh. Damn you!" Draco was becoming upset. "That's my job!"

"Not anymore," laughed Tom. "Looks like all you've got now is your prestigious family."

Draco opened his mouth and raised a finger, but then dashed off without speaking.

Tom turned to Pansy, smiling happily, "This is turning out to be more fun than I ever thought possible. I'm killing two birds with one stone."

"Yes," said Pansy, "everything is turning out splendidly."

Tom just stood there, brushing her hair and grinning for a few minutes before saying, "Your hair is so soft and smooth."

"Thank you," she replied, "I brush it for fifteen minutes every night."

"That's amazing. It's also very long and thick. You're very lucky."

"You're such a sweetheart, Tom."

Tom looked as if Pansy had just danced into the room wearing clothes from a second-hand store, "No one's ever said that to me before," he said.

"I'd say that I'm surprised but I just can't."

"I understand." He went back to brushing her hair until he saw a notebook on her desk. "Will this notebook do?" he asked, picking it up.

"Yes, all I have to do is decorate it and it'll be perfect," she seemed immensely pleased with the prospect of decorating the notebook. "So have you made any progress at all in bothering him?" she asked, returning to their discussion of ways to annoy Harry.

"Well, I'm sharing a dorm with him." Tom smiled devilishly, "It's just the two of us."

"Brilliant. That's a wonderful head start." Pansy had already begun to put pink glitter on the notebook.

"Yes, planning evil things has always been a strong point of mine."

"I'd say so." She paused for a moment and bent over the notebook, adding a few finishing touches. "Look," she said, holding it up. It was very pink and purple and glittery. At the top she had painted the title, "Ways to Annoy Harry Potter," in blue with little stars surrounding the words.

Tom looked at it appraisingly. "It certainly is a change from the old 'Dark Lord' organizational notebooks I used to make my first time through Hogwarts, but it's lovely all the same."

"Of course," Pansy said smugly. "I've always had the prettiest notebooks in the whole school."

"Harry's going to be so upset when we do whatever we plan on doing!"

Seeing the gleam in Tom's eye, Pansy almost thought he was about to start cackling. Fortunately, he didn't.

A/N: I'd better stop. It's 2:30 am and I have band practice tomorrow so I need to sleep…eventually. (In response to the person who felt bad for me for having to go to band practice, it's not marching band practice. I'm the lead singer and guitarist in a rock band called Nigel)

Oh, if any one wants me to beta a story, they can email me at plasticandelastic@hotmail.com