Chapter Six

Alcohol Bad, Tree Pretty

Disclaimer

We all bow at the feet of the great author God JKR whose world we merely poke a stick at.

To all the people who hate my spelling please I have checked my chapters before I put them up but I know I miss a lot if it is so terrible please become my beta and make a lot of annoyed reviewers happy.

"What's a drink amongst friends."

Alexander 'the Great' of Macedonia

A Shadowy figure crept through the undergrowth edging the Forbidden forest. Not the best name for a forest next to a school filled with curious kids better if they had called it the forest of really interesting things adults don't want you to see. The figure was wearing a large enveloping dark cloak, and was slowly walking along staring at the ground every so often the figure would kneel down and pick up something. If you were standing next to the mysterious person you might have heard strange mutterings. "First, I'm going to cover him in honey and then I'm going to lick it off. Then I'm going to get my broomstick and . . . " As the figure ventured further into the forest it cried out aloud and rushed forward. "Ahhh, now I have the last ingredient. No one can stop me now Harry Potter is mine. Mwhahahah!" evil laughter echoes between the trees. "Well at least for a week. Damn time share."

The sun was shinning low over the lake as Harry and his friends settled back on blankets brought down from their rooms. Lying back on the blanket Harry stared up at the clouds stained pink and red in the setting sun light. "You know I think that cloud looks like Snape's nose." Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville stared up at the sky. Ginny asked. "Which cloud?"

"Oh that one that's next to the spiky cloud."

"What the one shaped like a chicken?" Both Harry and Hermione wince.

"Yeah." It was the first Friday afternoon of the term and everyone had decided to have a break from class and assignments, Okay Hermione had decided to have a break everyone else had just decided to stuff it, and deal with it later. Ron stretched his arms up above his head and yawned.

"You know I heard Ravenclaw are having a party tomorrow. Dean told me about it. They have the best parties."

"Remember the last one, the found Susan Bones naked and tied to that statue of Medusa next to the glass houses, the next morning."

"Was it the last one or that one before Halloween last year, when that Hufflepuff sixth year decided she was queen of the world and decided to play Quidditch naked in the main hall." Ginny picked at the corner of the blanket.

"I thought they banned Ravenclaw from having parties after that."

"Sure, but that didn't stop them, they just found some obscure law in the Hogwarts books saying that students are allowed a set number of 'recreational activities, to better accustom them to lives beyond the educational establishment.' So they're having a big party to celebrate."

"I heard that somehow they hold of some muggle liquor and have decided to have a cocktail night." Harry rolled over on to his stomach.

"So everyone is going right."

There is a round of 'yeah's', and 'of courses'.

In a dark and dusty room in Hogwarts, cauldrons and potions bubbled away over bright orange flames. The cloaked figure of before was hunched over a book, staring intently on the instructions inside. "Right, eye, of newt, or was that eye of eel. Does it matter." An imaginary Professor Snape suddenly appears over their shoulder. 'Potions, are a difficult and demanding discipline, you need concentration. and of course it bloody matters you stupid child.' The figure stops and shrugs their shoulders. Might as well add both it can't hurt right. With that they toss in the last ingredients, a puff of pink smoke develops and floats into the air. The potion has turned a shiny bubbling red colour. When they see this the cloaked figure jumps up in the air and does a little dance.

"Harry's mine, na nah nah na nah. "

Fate who had just left to go to the toilet rushed back to her ezy-chair. Watching Harry Potter's life was better than Passions any day.

The weekend; the time period when for the first half you try to suppress all memories of homework and for the last ten hours rush about finishing everything. Or not as the case may be. It was Saturday night and most people were wandering down to Ravenclaws common room. The noise had been steadily growing since eight and now at ten, the room was almost overflowing with students. The professors had turned a glasseye to the gathering realising that it was better that the students get pissed and break stuff while they could control it rather than leave them to their own devices. Someone had stuck giant papier-mâché or the magical equivalent mock-ups of the various house animals from the roof of the Ravenclaws common room, the snake of Slytherine was bright and green and frightened some of the party goers below when they were least expecting it, but then the Hufflepuff badger was worrying as well. . They swung gently in the breeze created by over a hundred sixth and seventh years from the various houses getting acquainted with muggle alcohol. A long bar had been set up along one wall of the common room several Ravenclaw sixth years were working behind it, often referring back to books on cocktail mixes. Normally crowded, all the chairs and tables had been pushed to the side of the room. The tall book shelves that covered the walls had been covered with sheets in the various house colours and everyone was forgetting house rivalry in the wonderful glow of alcohol.

The party was getting into the swing of things when Harry turned up by himself, he had been delayed while everyone else had gone on ahead because some one who shall not be named had set off a dozen wet start fire works in his bed while he was getting ready in the bathroom. As he walked through the open portrait hole and pass Crabbe who had been bribed into portraying a bouncer wearing one of those t-shirts with a tux on it for the night the noise hit him. Music was pouring from the walls something with lots of heavy beats. The lights had been turned off and the only illumination was floating fairy lights which travelled around the room. Except at the bar where a bright light showed the Ravenclaw bar tenders attempt to spin bottles like they had seen in the books, and occasionally failing.

"Hey, Harry, what are you up too?" Terry Boot, who was acting as a sort of master of ceremonies for the party, greeting all the students with a smile and a Tequila shot. Sitting in front of Terry was a floating tray on which was a bottle of the Mexican liquor salt and lemon wedges sat.

"To be able to enter our humble abode you must first take a drink of this." Harry was handed a shot and grimaced.

"Hi, Terry, you know I'm not much of a drinker the stuff tastes foul."

"Oh, don't be like that Harry, it only tastes bad for the first few then it doesn't really matter." Salt, tequila, lemon. Licking the salt of his hand, Harry consumed the drink and sucked on the lemon quarter.

"Oh, that's foul. " Terry laughed.

"Don't worry about it just get few more into you and you won't mind."

Walking over to the bar Harry pushed his way through. Bottles of strange coloured liquors sat on shelves behind the Ravenclaws who were mixing. drinks. Catching the eye of a blonde girl, Harry leant forward.

"Hey, How did you afford all this?" The girl smiled.

"Call it a good investment in a sure thing." Confused Harry just smiled.

"Umm sure, could I get a drink."

"Fine what do you want?"

"Anything would be fine." The Ravenclaw girl pulled out a silver cocktail shaker out from somewhere and started pouring various amounts of from different bottles., repeatedly referring back to a book that must have been sitting under the bar. When the drink was finally placed in front of Harry, it was a bright pink and cherries floated in the bottom. It didn't look that bad, but then those were the drinks that you had to watch out for. Pulling the dink towards him Harry was about to take a sip when the girl placed a hand on Harry's arm to stop him.

"Wait it's not a proper muggle cocktail drink if it doesn't have a garnish." From behind the bar, she brings out a piece of lemon rind and placed it upon the edge of Harry's' drink "Voila" Grinning uncertainly at the Ravenclaw Harry took a sip and then another actually it wasn't that bad it hardly tasted alcoholic at all. Harry just made a big arse mistake remember fate, she heard him.

Thanking the girl Harry leant backwards against the bar and stared out at the party he couldn't see anyone but it was so packed he wasn't surprised. From beside him he heard his name turning around he saw Ron, and Dean who both had several different sized glasses sitting in front of them. "Harry, this is great. You look great. Everything is great." Harry took another sip of his drink.

"What are you two up too?" Dean picked up a martini glass and picked out the olive. Talking slowly and with evident care.

"Well, there are so many different types of al. . alco. . .drinks we thought to better understand muggles we should try them all."

"How long have you been going." Ron poked a finger at Harry and waved it in front of his nose.

"I know what you think and I can tell you now we are not drunk." Dean broke in.

"No we're rat arsed." Both the boys cracked up at that and started laughing. Harry shook his head and took another sip of his drink.

"Do you know where 'Mione is?" Ron stoped laughing but was still giggling lightly.

"I saw her over in the corner with Parvati and a couple of other girls. Hey Dean I wonder if we could make Malfoy rat arsed, wouldn't he look great with a tail?" The boys cracked up again and were still laughing when Harry walked away.

In the corner of the Ravenclaw common room Harry found Herminoe and other people from their year sitting in a circle all of them had several bottles and glasses in front of them. When Hermione saw Harry come over she called out his name, Harry was glad to see that she didn't look drunk. "Harry come over here, we're playing 'I've Never.' take a seat. Hannah Abbot and Morag MacDougal shifted over to make room for Harry, who carefully sat down trying not to spill his drink. Hermione leant towards Harry, and explained the rules. "Okay, everyone has a go. What you do is say something you have never done. 'I've never snogged Hagrid.' That sort of thing, everyone that has done what ever you said takes a drink. Simple." Sitting back down Hermione pointed to a Lavender whose turn it had been.

"I have never picked up at the family reunion." There was a moment of tension then a girl sitting opposite Harry with short black hair picked up her Daiquiri and took a drink. Everyone turned and stared.

"What, I didn't know we were related." Neville who was sitting next to here turned in disbelief

"It was your family reunion." After everyone just takes a drink to clear their heads, the circle travelled around, with various

"I've Never . . . had a sexual fantasy about Snape." No one took a drink but Harry swore he saw Hermione move to pick up her glass.

"I've Never . . . .had sex on the back of a broomstick." Three people had long drinks after that one, and there were a round of Hows. One girl said a cushioning spell another said rope. It finally reached Blaise who was sitting beside Hermione he picked up his drink and took a sip.

"I've Never. . . .used my wand as a sexual aid." There is stunned silence as the drunker people comprehend this. No one takes a drink except Hermione who sips from her Long Island Ice tea. Harry's mouth flops open stunned.

"What the hell."

Hermone had a delicate blush on there checks.

"Well on time at wizard camp I . . . . . . "

All the wizard students familiar with muggle movies jumped on Hermione instantly shutting her up, no one wanted that visual.

After this Harry took a little time and wandered away from the group. From somewhere he picked another drink and quietly sipped it as he walked around. Finally he bumped into Draco who was siting with Pansy Parkinson. Coughing Harry interrupted Pansy's in-depth investigation into Draco's fillings. "Malfoy, you know that they say, 'Leave Ugly Early and Beat the 3am Rush.' " Draco snarled and shoved Pansy from his lap.

"Well at least I can get some, what was the bet in the latest pool Oh yeah that you would die a virgin." Harry sipped at his drink, Terry had been right the more you drink the better it tastes.

"Malfoy the only way you pick up is by getting girls drunk before hand. And you know what alcohol does to mini - Malfoy."

Draco snarled and picked up his own drink. "I will say one good thing for muggles they make good drinks." he picked up a creamy coloured drink and sipped. Harry laughed at the poor come back and walked away.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Someone was stepping on his head. No dragons were playing bagpipes in his brain and goblins were playing jump roped with his stomach. The world was introducing itself to Harry in a thoroughly unpleasant way. Harry tried to open his eyes, and he couldn't 'Oh my god , I'm blind, I can't see. Ahhh, Ahhh.' Suddenly his eyes flew open what ever had been holding them shut breaking. A bright light shone onto his eyes, 'Arggh the light, the light, hissing Harry rolled over and buried his head in what ever he was lying on. It felt like someone had used his mouth as ashtray and then let an incontinent cat in. Just lying there did not make him feel better, prying his eyes open once again he squinted, it seemed like he was lying on something large, fluffy and breathing. A quick look showed black fur, 'Oh great what the hell did he do last night.' Carefully Harry got up crawling backwards off the breathing mattress. Holding a hand over his eye's Harry looked at what he had woken up on. It was Fluffy. Luckily the large three headed dog was extremely asleep and gently snoring. While he on the other hand was only wearing a pair of bright green boxers and sort of white puffy pirate shirt.

Carefully creeping back to the Gryffindor common room Harry keep is head down and tried to avoid the evil people who were wake and cheerful, the bastards, they were doing it deliberately. Awake and smiling the bastards. Making his way past a concerned fat lady Harry meet a common room filled with fellow hangover sufferers. The only person not groaning and contemplating mass genocide was Hermione who was happily working way at the fire over a cauldron humming. Harry groaned, Hermione must die, no one is meant to be that happy. Stumbling over to Mione Harry stretched out his arms to strangle the grinning Prefect. "Harry wait before you kill me I have something to help you. Just give me a second." Harry stoped his forward rush and collapsed onto the ground placing his forehead on the cold cobblestones.

"Alcohol Bad."

"Yes Alcohol bad, Did you know Harry you're a very cheap drunk." Grinning Hermione dropped something in to the concoction over the fire.

"Oh hell what did I do?" Hermione laughed.

"What do you last remember?"

"Well I think I was talking to Malfoy then I got another drink and that's the last I remember."

"If you really what to know?" Harry muttered no but Hermione ignored him.

"Not long after you left the game you started to enjoy everyone's company."

"What"

"You loved everyone. You were rushing around the place draping yourself over everyone declaring your complete and utter devotion to all and sundry. They had to drag you off Neville when you started to force him into a corner for a private talk." Harry groaned then stoped when the sound echoed off his head and made him think a Hippogriff had been using it as a toilet. From the grin that was almost splitting Hermione' s face in half Harry knew there had to be more.

"What else did I do?"

"I didn't see it personally but Lavender said that pulled Draco Malfoy up onto the bar and sung 'I got you Babe.'" There was a pause,

"And"

"And then you jumped down from the bar and started kissing everyone. Finally someone was offered to take you back to your room to stop you jumping Neville again" Harry sighed at least he hadn't done anything else but he wondered how he had ended up with Fluffy.

A frustrated figure stomped around her room. She had been so close, he certainly fell in love it was just he fell in love with everyone maybe she should of followed the instructions. Pulling the back of her cloak down Lavender Brown scowled and chucked it to the side. She had been so close, after Harry had run from the room she had cornered him in the Charms classroom and got him into the shirt, she had been about to pour the honey all over his chest when he heard Fluffy barking. Harry had been so close to being her dirty monkey sex slave. When he rushed out she had followed and they found some pissed Gryffindors pouring bottles of vodka into Fluffys drinking water. The hell hound was well and truly rat arsed when Harry decided he had to save the 'poor' animal. Lavender couldn't pull the boy-who-loved-all away from the swaying dog. He kept on claiming that he loved Fluffy and that he was going to look after him. Not soon after Harry and Fluffy both collapsed together. It had been so cute in a twisted and demented way, the three headed dog and Harry Potter all curled up together. Lavender hadn't trusted her luck in getting Harry away from the three headed dog so she had been forced to retreat. Back in her room Lavender collapsed back onto her bed. Curses her plans were foiled and it was another's turn. But that didn't mean she couldn't interfere. She would catch Harry potter yet. Cackling Lavender brought her hands in front of her and rubbed them together. A fellow Gryffindor who had also been at the Ravenclaw party threw a text book at lavender and knocked the girl out, effectively shutting her up.

Authors Note

Wow that is the longest chapter yet, and there was more I wanted to put in. Oh well I'll save it for another day. At least I finally have it out of my head and can write my other story.
Thankyou so much for reviewing, if you have any suggestion about how the group should go about hunting Harry I would be glad to hear them.
Thankyou

Note take two:

The cocktail that Harry drank was a Keep Sober, Draco was drinking a Fallen Angel if you want the recipe to either just email me. I don't think I can put them up on FF.N

I'll put up the other chapter and a new chapter soon. promise. All ideas are welcomed with open arms.

Please review, pretty please with a cherry on top.