A few days later, Pansy and Tom found themselves standing outside the Parkinson estate. "Well, here we are," said Pansy, gesturing across the grounds. "Monstrous old thing, isn't it?"

"I don't know – it is rather pretty," Tom said.

"Wait until you meet Mother and Father." She knocked on the door and a house elf answered, followed shortly by her parents.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Parkinson," said Tom.

They both said hello. Next, Mrs. Parkinson said, "What's your name, young man, Pansy has told us nothing about you."

"Tom, Tom Riddle."

"Hmm," she sniffed, "that's a rather common name, don't you think dear?" She turned to her husband.

Mr. Parkinson shifted uncomfortably.

Pansy could tell that Tom was trying very hard not to say anything particularly cruel to her mother and she was glad for that. However, she knew that if she didn't say something quickly, he wouldn't be able to keep himself from using his laconic wit. "I think it's a lovely name," she said. "Come on, Tom, I'll show you where you'll be staying."

When they reached the guest bedroom, Tom said, "I'm trying very hard, for your sake, to be nice, but I can't guarantee I'll be able to keep it up."

"I know, I appreciate it. But don't worry, I'm sure she'll love you in no time."

"Dear Lord, I can't believe I've been reduced to trying to get people's parents to love me."

"Cheer up, they won't even be around most of the time. Now, I have some candy I think you'll really like."

"Bribing me with candy is not going to work," Tom frowned.

"Yes…" Pansy appeared thoughtful for a moment before saying, "Perhaps we should do our hair."

"That's always good to do in a pinch."

"Well, that's something my mother told me. Maybe you will grow to like her."

Just then some random person popped their head into the room, saying, "The Malfoys are coming to dinner tonight, so dress accordingly."

When the person was gone, Tom shuddered.

"Do you think Lucius will recognize you and tell my parents?" Pansy asked.

Tom thought about it and said, "I'd really prefer it if he didn't… So, let's say no."

Pansy wasn't sure if that was the best way to go about solving the question. "Are you sure about that?" she asked.

"Look," said Tom impatiently, "do you want to think about it? It won't help."

"You do have a point," she conceded.

"I always have a point. Now, come on, let me braid your hair." What Tom neglected to mention was that Lucius Malfoy had been the second person to see him in his younger body since the transformation had been made. And, as that was rather recently, and quite an interesting moment for Malfoy, there was no chance in hell that he wouldn't recognize him.

* * *

That evening, Pansy and Tom were sitting in the drawing room when they heard the doorbell ring. "That must be the Malfoys," Pansy said.

"Yes," Tom sighed unhappily. The room was soon filled with Lucius, Draco, and Narcissa Malfoy, as well as Pansy's parents. They each took a seat and commenced the pre-dinner polite conversation.

"So," Lucius said, sounding rather suspicious, "Tom Riddle, is it?"

"Yes," said Tom.

"That name sounds familiar."

"Oh?" said Tom.

"Yes…" said Lucius.

"Father," said Draco, "remember how I told you all about Tom being You-Know-Who?"

"Oh yes," said the elder Malfoy. Then he said, "Wait a minute! I've already seen him like this."

"I was waiting for you to figure that out, Lucius," Tom said amusedly.

"Why didn't you tell me that he knew already?" Pansy asked.

"I don't know. I suppose I just wanted to get right to doing our hair and not have to bother with excess words," was the reply.

Mrs. Parkinson decided that this was a rather uncomfortable turn of events for their pre-dinner polite conversation and so she said, "So, Pansy, Tom, how did you two meet?"

Tom's eyes lit up. Only Pansy (and Tom himself, I suppose) knew that it wasn't from the fond memories of a blossoming romance, but from his love for telling well crafted lies. "Well," he began, "it all started when I was walking through the library at Hogwarts," he knew that the trick to telling a good lie was to base it in truth as much as possible, but he felt that he was beyond such beginning tactics as that. "I was looking for something really wonderful for a report I was writing. It was about exotic mushrooms, incidentally. Unfortunately, I was having the devil of a time finding anything so I just started wandering about, searching for help. I had almost given up hope when I saw your daughter standing by the window, looking like a vision of an angel with her golden, shining hair and her purple clothes. The window was slightly opened, causing her hair to blow around, which was incredibly gorgeous. Her violet eyes seemed to light up the room…"

"All right," Pansy interrupted, "I think we've heard enough of my beauty for one night."

"How could that ever be?" asked Tom, flashing an innocent expression her way, while batting his eyelashes in a most creepy manner.

"Just get on with the story," she sighed.

Tom grinned and said, "She walked over to me and said 'Can I help you find something?' I told her that I was looking for a rare book on the care of exotic mushrooms and, surprisingly enough, she knew just where to find one. Anyway, after she had taken me to the book and I had checked it out, I asked her if she'd like to go out for pudding that evening – to celebrate…"

"Oh…Pansy does love her pudding," Mr. Parkinson murmured.

"Yes, and so do I, so you can imagine, we hit it off immediately. In fact, while eating the pudding, we discovered that we had many other things in common as well and it's been true love ever since."

"How heartwarming," said Lucius coldly.

"You wouldn't understand," said Tom. "You and Narcissa met at a soiree, and we all know how boring those are."

"It depends on the soiree," Lucius pouted.

Tom rolled his eyes.

Mr. Parkinson sought to fill the awkward pause by saying, "Can I get anyone a drink?"

"I'll have a scotch. Neat," said Lucius. Narcissa and Mrs. Parkinson each had a glass of wine. Tom and Pansy had brandy. Mr. Parkinson had a Shirley Temple.

"Wonderful brandy," Tom said appreciatively.

"Thank you," said Mr. Parkinson, "I bought it in Prague."

"That's fabulous," Tom said, not sounding like it was particularly fabulous. "How's the Shirley Temple?" he asked with a smirk.

"Delightful," said Mr. Parkinson. "Oh, Draco, you don't have a drink. Would you like a Shirley Temple as well?"

Tom began to laugh insanely.

"No thank you," said Draco angrily.

Soon there was a pause, filled only by the sound of Tom's laughter.

Mrs. Parkinson turned to Mrs. Malfoy, trying to muddle through the awkward silence that had descended upon the group like the black plague of conversations, "So, Narcissa, how have your gardens been doing? I hear it's really not the year for roses."

"Yes, well, it's not as bad as last year. The real problem is the rabbits," Narcissa answered.

"Yes, they're sneaky creatures."

"I killed a rabbit once," Draco volunteered.

"Did you?" said Mrs. Parkinson unappreciatively.

"I stepped on it," Draco said.

Tom saw an opportunity to gain some approval from his "girlfriend's" mother. "You know, Mrs. Parkinson, I was walking through your garden earlier and it was absolutely lovely. Especially the lilac bushes. I've always been a connoisseur of lilacs but I've never seen any as amazing as yours."

"Why thank you, Tom dear. You must call me Violet – Mrs. Parkinson makes me sound so old and matronly."

"You don't look old or matronly."

Pansy gazed in awe at her mother practically beaming at Tom. It was the most insane thing she had ever seen. No boy she had brought home before had ever managed to win the approval of Mrs. Parkinson. She wished she had brought a camera, although, that would ruin the moment. When she had finished gazing at her mother, she began to gaze at Tom. He had the most innocent grin she had ever seen on anyone. It was incredibly disturbing.

* * *

That night, after dinner, when Pansy and Tom were alone, she said, "That was brilliant what you said to my mother. The timing was perfect – the way you said it right after Draco finished being a moron…."

"Will he ever finish?" Tom asked rhetorically.

"It heightened the contrast between the two of you: you being the charming, sweet one and he being the sadistic bastard. Our only problem is that now she'll want us to get married."

Tom chuckled, "That would be amusing. I think a sham marriage might be fun, actually. As long as both parties knew that it was not to be taken seriously. Or as long as I wasn't the party who didn't."

"I suppose it would be. Well, if that ever happens, at least we're both ok with it."

"Yes. Well, I'd better get to bed."

"Me too. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

A/N: how'd you like the ending. Everyone does cliffhangers so I decided to do the polar opposite.