A/N: ...and by ending, of course, I meant ending to the chapter... heh, heh.
I never had any intention of ending the story. I'm so bored. If the lack
of paragraph division between dialogue and so forth hasn't corrected itself
before you read this, I apologize profusely. I didn't write it like that
(I'm not that much of a moron), but fanfiction did it and I can't seem to
fix it.
That night Tom spent quite a bit of time in bed thinking about the prospect of a sham marriage. At first it had just sort of seemed like an amusing fantasy that he would think about for ten to fifteen minutes and then shelve in his hard working, gorgeous brain, much like other fantasies, such as creating a pencil that would never run out of eraser or a penguin that could tell time. However, it was not to be. He simply couldn't get the charming thought off his mind. He tossed and turned, thinking it over from every angle and soon all of the difficulties started to seem less and less difficult. He did love to solve problems in order to do useless things involving a great deal of deceit and this looked like an excellent opportunity. "Yes..." he said to a nearby snake. "This just might work." Then he repeated his statement for dramatic effect.
The next morning Pansy awoke to find a ridiculously large bluebird sitting casually on her windowsill. "Oh, go away, you fat excuse for a bird," she said good-naturedly. The bird flew away, softly weeping. She then began to hum a delightful tune about mornings and sunshine and various other things of that nature. She kept this up, while going about her morning routine until she heard a knock at her door. She leapt up from the jig saw puzzle she had been working on and went to answer it. "Oh, hello, Tom," she said, flipping her hair back.
"Hello, Pansy," he answered."
"What's going on?" she asked. "Is it time for breakfast?"
"Not yet, but I think it's soon." He actually had no idea, but he loved to answer questions in a positive way. He paused for awhile, just standing in the doorway, before he got to what he had wanted to talk about. "So..." he began nonchalantly, "maybe we should get married."
"Why?" Pansy asked with an incredulous expression on her face.
"Oh...you know..." he said evasively. "Just in case..."
"Well... I suppose it would be pretty funny..." she looked about thoughtfully, twirling a piece of hair between two fingers. "Yes, I guess we could."
"Great," said Tom. "You can announce it at breakfast."
"I have to?"
"Why not? They're your parents." Tom began to walk away, but stopped after about two feet, looking as if he had just thought of something. "There's one more thing I wanted to run past you, darling."
"What's that?"
"Well, I was considering starting a fight club, you know, like in Fight Club and I wondered what your thoughts on the subject were."
"Actually, I don't really care one way or another."
"Good...good...now I have two things to plan. Or possibly three; you'd better keep track in that sparkly notebook."
"Whatever. See you a breakfast."
But Tom had already wandered away.
That night Tom spent quite a bit of time in bed thinking about the prospect of a sham marriage. At first it had just sort of seemed like an amusing fantasy that he would think about for ten to fifteen minutes and then shelve in his hard working, gorgeous brain, much like other fantasies, such as creating a pencil that would never run out of eraser or a penguin that could tell time. However, it was not to be. He simply couldn't get the charming thought off his mind. He tossed and turned, thinking it over from every angle and soon all of the difficulties started to seem less and less difficult. He did love to solve problems in order to do useless things involving a great deal of deceit and this looked like an excellent opportunity. "Yes..." he said to a nearby snake. "This just might work." Then he repeated his statement for dramatic effect.
The next morning Pansy awoke to find a ridiculously large bluebird sitting casually on her windowsill. "Oh, go away, you fat excuse for a bird," she said good-naturedly. The bird flew away, softly weeping. She then began to hum a delightful tune about mornings and sunshine and various other things of that nature. She kept this up, while going about her morning routine until she heard a knock at her door. She leapt up from the jig saw puzzle she had been working on and went to answer it. "Oh, hello, Tom," she said, flipping her hair back.
"Hello, Pansy," he answered."
"What's going on?" she asked. "Is it time for breakfast?"
"Not yet, but I think it's soon." He actually had no idea, but he loved to answer questions in a positive way. He paused for awhile, just standing in the doorway, before he got to what he had wanted to talk about. "So..." he began nonchalantly, "maybe we should get married."
"Why?" Pansy asked with an incredulous expression on her face.
"Oh...you know..." he said evasively. "Just in case..."
"Well... I suppose it would be pretty funny..." she looked about thoughtfully, twirling a piece of hair between two fingers. "Yes, I guess we could."
"Great," said Tom. "You can announce it at breakfast."
"I have to?"
"Why not? They're your parents." Tom began to walk away, but stopped after about two feet, looking as if he had just thought of something. "There's one more thing I wanted to run past you, darling."
"What's that?"
"Well, I was considering starting a fight club, you know, like in Fight Club and I wondered what your thoughts on the subject were."
"Actually, I don't really care one way or another."
"Good...good...now I have two things to plan. Or possibly three; you'd better keep track in that sparkly notebook."
"Whatever. See you a breakfast."
But Tom had already wandered away.